[sand-not-oil]

Dear all,
I'm fed up (depressed seems like a really harsh word).

I was trying to get pregnant for 8 months , then they say you are now diabetic. A great day, NOT!

My doc tells me to get my levels under 7 then I'll be allowed to try again.

I do, within 6 months. We try & nothing happens.

Nearly 1 year later, I'm late, but tests keep saying no. Confused???

I see doc, he says tests are sometimes wrong in early stages, I get up hope & tell hubby.

9 days late and now we're convinced I'm preggers.

10 days and blood flows, pi***d off, depressed, miserable, annnoyed, questioning????

Is it to do with the diabetes, was I preggers and my body decided to reject 'cos of BG's (slightly higher than normal out of the blue) or is it nothing to do with diabetes at all?

But most of all i'm pi***d off that I even have to think about all this ****. I don't want to be diabetic I just want to be NORMAL, and to have babies, eat, sleep & drink like everyone else. It just gets me down that we waited until the time was right to have babies, and now it looks like the time that was right was when I was younger and healthier.

Yes this is going to sound pathetic, but I'm probably not the only one here who has asked these questions - WHY ME???? WHY NOW???

I know i'm feeling sorry for myself, but sometimes this gets a bit too much to cope with, and in my none internet life I am the person who is always together, and people think I never get down.

I DO get down, and today I needed to let go of a bit of it, and I hope you don't mind that I did it here.
Thanks for listening
Sand-not-oil