I hear ya, Claire, and feel sorry for your poor butt as well...
Nothing sucks harder than having my wife call me at 5, and tell me the kids want White Castle... with vanilla shakes... and I'll have a salad with cheese or chicken... maybe a couple sliders with no top buns.
If there were only White Castles and grubs left on earth, I'd eat the grubs in shame, but stare at the sliders with contempt... deadly little fun bombs of pancreatic torment!