| Oh, man, you've got a lot to work on. When a lot of things have gotten bad in your health, it can be so hard to start turning any of them around because each problem area seems to interfere with getting another problem area taken care of.
All I can say is never give up. If there is even one tiny thing you can improve, do so. Then after you have made that tiny improvement consistently, see if you can improve it just a little bit more.
The tingly pain and numbness in your hands and feet might not entirely be from your diabetes. There are other things that can cause it. Even over weight can contribute to it. The bulk of your own body can press on nerves and constrict blood vessels so that you don't get good circulation to your arms and legs. The positions you sleep in can exacerbate it. It is not necessary diabetes only causing it. Losing a few pounds might help get you some relief. I got a lot, but not total, relief from the same in my arms and hands when I lost weight, so I can give personal testimony to that particular "miracle."
I don't know if you are on a medicine for insulin resistance, but metformin can cause a deficiency of one of the B vitamins. B vitamins are necessary for healthy nerves!! This can be supplemented, and many doctors are recmmoneding it for their patients on metformin.
Alcohol interferes with getting enough of certain B vitamins, yet as I said, B vitamins are essential for healthy nerves! Even if you do not stop drinking, you should tell your doctor how much you drink so that s/he can put you on the appropriate B-vitamin supplements. Really, this is pretty standardly done for alcoholics. That might help keep the nerve damage from getting worse as quickly as it has bee up till now. Maybe it would even allow some reversal of the problem? Of course, getting off the alcohol would be a huge help to your health, I think.
I encourage you to tell your endocrinologist or any other doctor about this problem. Don't just go in there and tell them you are doing better on blood glucose control and get a lab report back showing an improved A1c. Tell them this real problem that is interfering with your life and making you depressed and scared. They have some ways to address it if it is due to nerve damage.
Please look into whether the over the counter supplement R-alpha lipoic acid such as in the brand "Insulow" might be helpful to you. There are other brands of it, but I don't know their names. Incidentally, this brand also has a B-vitamin in it, since R-alpha lipoic acid is another substance that causes one to need more of the B-vitamin (biotin). Anyway, I have read that alpha lipoic acid can help nerves heal, too. (For me, what I see it doing is to bring down my BG. I'm type 2.)
Good luck. You've got a lot to work on, but there are quite a few things you can start to do and try to get better. I really hope that will happen for you. Others have before you, so why not you? Please try not to feel hopeless. I know it is scary, but you can probably turn some of it around. (You do know that all that alcohol can get in the way though, right?)  | 
