[Eoto45]

Hi, I'm new to this website but not diabetes. I am a 21 year old male and was diagnosed in with type 1 in August 2003, and have been on the pump since 2005. I have never had a firm grasp of my blood sugars with the exception of the ocassional few good weeks I've had. I have so many questions or things I want to get off my chest that I don't even know where to start. My blood sugars are always way too high, ever since being introduced to low sugars I have had an almost paralyzing fear of my sugar dropping. Everytime I test and I feel like it may drop I subconciously take actions to avoid it, at this point I feel like I just do whatever it takes to stay away from being low. About a year ago I started getting anxiety, panic, stess attacks I guess I don't really know what to call them, like a dizzy light headed intense heart rate feeling and when I test my sugar its around 240. My doctor put me on Lexapro but after a few weeks I can't bring myself to keep taking it. I feel like I am way too dependant on medications to keep going. Even today I still haven't fully accepted my diabetes and I can admit then when I have to face it, it still makes me cry. I guess I don't really have any 1 question in this post right now, I am just hoping to hear from or meet people with diabetes so I can stop feeling alone in this sugary, carbohydrate driven world.