[Subby]

Hey bluesky, people seem to have some good things to say here (yourself included). I just wanted to point out that it seems common to feel you have to be "up to certain standards" (whether higher - or lower) for doctors - this seems especially the case with diabetics for whom their coping with the condition is intimately entwined with who they are and what they do with themselves through daily life.

Having said that, I wanted to say I know exactly what you mean when you hint at a slight (if, affable) adversarial tone, a defensiveness, with the endo, that occurs when justifying or revealing your own approach, or your own mistakes, warts and all. This should NOT be the case, try and remind yourself of that. It shows the situation as maybe being a bit too compromising and vulnerable... and I've been there with my endos many times. One sign of a good endo is when you see them reminding themselves "I don't live with this blasted thing... there is a limit I can criticise this patient's approach". And even the endo's who are excellent at maintaining the correct respect of a diabetic's philosophy, WILL have bad days when they go to far. I'm trying to say, this is not all your "bad". More, a kind of personality clash, brought on by a number of dynamics including an often innapropriate dr-patient relationship, considering the complexities and responsiblities of the condition, then perceptions on either side, compounded by a brief meeting that is supposed to "achieve" somthing.

As someone above pointed out, due to the brevity in which he has contact with your condition, the doctor simply cannot grapple with the realities of living with your condition. There is no way he can decide the best way for you to "assimilate" the ideas of living with/controlling/being alongside/being in relationship with/being at peace with your diabetes. This is different for all: for those of a more straightforward bent it is probably an easy answer of "you do this and that and get on with life". For those who find diabetes rearing it's head physically and psychologically with regularlity, and those who do think a lot about the world and themselves and how things work and how many options there are out there and how to chose your own path - doctors can hopefully respect and fit in with that, but they should never make you feel foolish for neither sticking your guns and going your own path, nor anything the blasted thing springs on you at any time.

Gees sorry for the wandery post. My real point is, putting aside personal feelings for a moment - did you achieve anything therapeautically with your doc apart from a bit of negative vibes hit? Maybe you guys had it great but it's a bit stale now, or maybe he is a bit sick of being "understanding" (understandable!) and prone to antagonism? If you stand back and assess this visit (not the previous ones), would you be satisfied to see it happen again in the future?