Ok so I know I'm new to this but just to rehash some of the regulars memories maybe I need to rant (I'm sure you've heard this **** before).
First the Brick wall! Why does it seem when you have the most control you're the most vulnerable?? I think I've been doing well with my BGs only to find this week has been living ****. Well not for me feeling wise, because I generally feel great in the high 100s to low 200s (I know its not good). I proud myself as of late of being able to keep myself below the 130s. So this week I thought I'd try the things I used to do a whole 4 months ago
. Go shoot pool almost every night at the bar with friends old old friends. Yes it involves some drinks. While I don't think that has anything to do with the levels the other temptations do. Like free pizza and not eating when I should. I usually eat at 6 or 7 and when I stray from that bad things happen. So my brick wall comes up and I find myself in the mid 200s to high 100s all week. This to me more than anything is a failure. I know everyone hits them I just want to know if others have the disappointment in themselves as I seem to do. Most likely my other problem is the denial factor when you're doing so well you seem to think that I can't have this its sooo easy to be in control of this only to hit said brick I mean steal reinforced wall.
My Rant is about technology and its inability to do anything in some medical fields. Why is it more important (sorry if offend anyone) to have more hair on your head and maybe bigger parts of the body than
sticking yourself over 10 times a day just to find out if you live. Even more maybe, my friend who has lived with HIV/AIDS for almost 20 years and his only drug left is a drug that makes him "lose" time. Ohh by the way his is a piano player, so thats not an option. I'm a nerd at heart and this is the most frustrating part of this stinking disease sometimes. Ok I'm tired and I've worn your ear out.. and I gotta take another shot.. Have a good weekend and have a drink for everyone.. I know I know this is only my second post
Sorry if I offended anyone.. I didn't mean too..
But most of all, My thanks!! to my Wife, my friends, and my co-workers who are sooooo supportive of sooo much and just want to know what they can do.. Thanks..
Till the next brick wall!
