[Gary_W]

For most folks outside this club that you don't want to join, injections seem like the worst part of the deal. Other than that, most people just think that you have to leave sugar out of your tea and go careful on the cakes.

For that reason, Joe Public tends to view injections as meaning serious.

As 85-90% of people with diabetes have T2 which is MOSTLY diet and meds controlled, the public think this one isn't as bad. This mindset is reinforced because if T2 'gets worse' they go on insulin, therefore anyone on insulin in the first place must have it really bad. This is backed up further due to everyone knowing at least one T2 that doesn't change their lifestyle in any way due to diabetes. They will get away with this behaviour for years before it bites them, but bite it will. A T1 cannot really do this. The immediate seriousness for a T1 ignoring the condition is all too real, again giving the illusion that it is more serious.

I'm seeing a colleague next week over in Ireland. He's known me for years and is well aware that I have to inject before dinner. I called him the other day and, during the conversation, I told him that I was now half man and half machine as I had an insulin pump. 'Oh my word is it that bad now?' came his response. It's the second such comment I've had since pumping and it's not even been 3 weeks yet. I just laughed and explained. Heck, if I could be blissfully ignorant of this disease I would be to. He's a lovely bloke and will be happy for me once he understands the benefits.

With that in mind, I'd like to propose the Layman's terms of diabetes:

1. Pre-diabetes - A bit like being pre-menstrual but involves less cakes.

2. Syndrome X - A form of metabolic disorder that involves people in tight trousers deciding if you've got it or you haven't.

3. Type 2 - Fairy diabetes. Nothing to worry about whatsoever as it's not serious in any way shape or form. Can eat absolutely anything (unless it's birthday cake, and then you can make a scene about them not having any in front of the crowd)

4. Type 1 - Deadly serious diabetes (otherwise known as DSD). Involves lots of needles so it must be terrible. Nothing else about the condition is a problem. Cannot eat birthday cake in the same manner as a T2 (see Fairy Diabetes, above), but anything else goes.

5. Type 1.5 - A diabetic bisexual, partial to both bread AND cakes.

6. LADA - A very bad Eastern European car that has to go easy on the bread

7. Mody - Someone that samples other bits of diabetes and then puts them to heavy basslines and old blues records. Afraid of croissonts.

8. Pumper - Terminally ill, could croak in front of your eyes. Can eat anything as they'll be dead by morning so where's the harm?


Next time my pump alarm goes off and someone looks at it with suspician, I will calmly explain that it means I have 10 minutes to live and need to find someone to have sex with so I can go out with a bang....


Gary