awww, thank you so much for all of your kindness, all of you.
Hammer, that's about the way it was here, and being the victim of child abuse myself, made us all the more willing to help this girl out. But we moved past all of MY abuse and our home was not run like that at all. NO one had to deal with the things I had to.
But she was, and like your situation, she lied and stole and all of it too. She'd always have to fight for enough food to keep her alive, so when she got here, she'd put so much food on her plate that sometimes, I'd have to make myself something else to have enough for her and then we'd find she was hording it...... and that never bothered me, we'd have a quiet little laugh later, just me and my husband. lol
These two kids are awesome parents now... but wow, they didn't start out like that. And I had to make decisions that were insanly tough to push them in that direction. NOW they both put her first, this isn't just me, they had to be the ones to follow thru, and I respect them both for doing it and now they put her first and foremost, but wow..... I had to play so many tough love roles and it was hard.
I made very sure she finished school, she did homeschool in my home and we watched the baby and then when she was done with that, we helped her get into a good online college and she is still doing that and doing well..... so I DO take great pride in some of it, whether the two of them hate me or not.... lol
The thing I did to her that really freaked her out and someday she WILL thank me, but she seen me as being too intrusive.... I KNOW all about Internet Love Affaisr and she was SO desperate to meet someone who would love her..... the person she somehow got mixed up with was on a Sex Offender list and wow. this was a challenge..... I tried to confront her about the dangers to no avail and I warned her that if this kept on, we'd deal with it in court, she didn't believe me, so I had to back it up....... ALL I did was mention it in court, this boy is on the sex offender lists for LIFE and it in his restrictions, he can't be around girls with female children or anything...... the judge freaked out and so did everyone in there, including her. And THAT is when I became this massive monster and she is STILL mad at me about it..... she shut me down when I tried to inform her of this so I sent her an email and told her if she didn't talk to me and listen to me about this, the next mention would be in court because the baby was in potential danger..... to no avail.
SO.... my goal was to just slap her VERY hard to snap her out of it.. I know and knew then she had a big heart and she loved that baby with everything she had, but in HER need to be and feel loved, she lost sight of it. So I slapped her very hard, right where it hurt.
When it came to court, we had to go to make a date for the actual hearing for custody and I threw that information out there and she was faced with the idea that she COULD lose her baby, and I had told them many times, "You keep that baby safe and FIRST in your lives and I will never interfere" and I lept my word. Right up until this happened.
She did as I knew she would, she snapped out of it and she put the baby back first in her life... and I'd do it over and over again and still would.
SHE will not even consider talking to me, tells people I am a horrible mom and my own kids hate me..... which I know better, but still it hurt hearing it, who wouldn't be hurt by it? lol
My son still lives with me and he gets his baby every other weekend and goes over to see her 2-3 times a week, and these two kids have worked out a way to live with the fact they have a baby together..... and they FINALLY have put her first in their lives, and they are doing great. I can live with her hating me..... and I can live with her not talking to me and saying nasty things about me, she has her baby first now and that's what my goal was. I told the judge that day I didn't want to take her baby away, I wanted her to THINK about her for a change and not herself, and it worked.... and I'll eat anything bad she has to say about me now...
Call me intrusive, that's fine, but I'd do it all over again.... it's how I play, if I can't get your attention in a nice way, I'll get it by using whatever means possible if I see you or someone I love in danger.
