Hey all, I hope this is the right place to post
If it's not, let me know and I'll move it (or the mods can, I suppose :P)
Let me start by saying that I don't have diabetes, and that posting here feels very much like when I tried to jump into the Deaf community after learning American Sign Language. You can learn the language (a1c? bolus? pump? endo???), the quirky humor, and do everything in your power to understand your friends and the people you love... but it's still the friend, the loved one going through it. I've been told way too often "you'll never understand" for it not to click.
I've tried writing the next part about ten times, but can't quite put what I'm feeling correctly into words (and it's still not right, heh). My girlfriend is a type I diabetic. For a long time, when it felt like she was trying to hide her diabetes from me, I would ignorantly cook the most ridiculous meals for her - everything was breaded, pasta, ramen, pizza... when we ate out too, I just didn't know any better. But here's the important part - she almost never spoke up about it. She'd hint to me extremely indirectly, but if I don't know what I'm doing is hurting her, how can I know to stop???
Let me quickly say that she's an extremely private person - in fact if she checks this board and sees that I've posted, she'll probably beat me over the head with a frying pan or flower vase, hah. That's most likely why she never said much about it and I freely admit that I should've done some research on my own sooner.
Recently I faced a decision of throwing myself into our relationship or letting it continue on with myself less than wholly committed. I decided the former, of course
Otherwise I wouldn't be posting here. So now that you understand my background (the typical type 3? I dunno...), I'm going to ask some simple questions that I could've asked without the back story, and some that need it (I feel).
1. (Not background related) I've tried googling for diabetic recipes, but everything is either way too complex or doesn't sound tasty at all :/ Can you all recommend some *simple, tasty* recipes (think college student...) that are tried and true?
2. (Yes background) Do any of you have similar experiences from the other side of the looking glass? I want to make sure that I'm not fumbling about in the dark, I really do love her and want to make everything work, but her lows and highs really test me and strain our relationship sometimes. I dunno what I'm really looking for here, but I always appreciate advice
3. (Not really background) Are there any major faux pas that I should know? For anyone curious about Deaf culture, some major ones would be offering to interpret in a professional situation if you know maybe 50 signs, or shouting with GAPING LIPS at someone who would rather you just speak normally (if they're even trained in reading lips!) I don't know if I should remind her to bolus or not, ask her what her level is when she tests or not... and believe me, I've tried talking with her first about it, otherwise I wouldn't ask here
I know it's probably very subjective, but I'd appreciate other perspectives (and *why* you feel that way!)
So yeah... sorry my post was so long
I really hope this isn't making a fool out of me or her, but I really don't know who to ask about it other than her. Worst case, you guys tell me I'm barking up the wrong tree and I peace out - nothing ventured nothing gained.
Thanks in advance for reading this huge post, and putting up all (if any) of your replies; I'm really looking forward to reading them!!!
- Evan
