[GeishaGirl]

Be concerned, but please let her lead.

I have a WICKED temper, and I am VERY anti-authoritarian (in other words, someone tells me what to do, and sometimes even tries to direct me, and I stick out my chin and refuse) so my husband was very cautious about getting involved. (I was diagnosed at 26, after I was married.) After awhile (and my first severe hypo) I realized that I couldn't shut him out and, while I didn't want him dictating, I DID want him to understand and discuss my care and treatment with me.

So I gave him my copy of the book that helped me digest everything in the beginning -- Diabetes Demystified if you're interested, it's kinda of a For Dummies, but it's a great overview -- and now he can actually talk to me about my pump settings, basal rates, what constitutes hypos, and what to do when I have one. He's learning to use low-carb pasta and to (still cautiously) tell me that, maybe, just maybe, a bowl of ice cream isn't a good idea.

So, long story short -- get educated. Show her you want to help her. Ask questions if she won't get offended. "Why do you do that?" "How do you know how much insulin to take" etc.