Just saw this. Hope you are feeling better.
We all have days, nights, even weeks of feeling like it's all too overwhelming.
Loss of loved ones is a terrible price we pay for the privilege of knowing we only have a finite amount of time to spend with the people we care so much about.
Diabetes is just one piece of who you are -- it doesn't define you. It doesn't make your life any less valuable to share with others.
Your diabetes is something you can control. You can make sure it doesn't lessen the quantity or quality of your life!
The "monsters under the bed" are really all the OTHER things... OTHER people's diabetes.... hurricanes.... car accidents.....
But you aren't helpless against those either. Just wake up each morning and LOVE the people in your life and LOVE your own life. It's in your power to embrace each day so you can lord it over those monsters each evening and say "nanny nanny boo boo. you can't take away a single moment of the happiness I already had today"
I'm sorry sweetie - hang in there - you aren't alone.