[cuddlebug]

i am also 29 going on 30 and wondered the same quiestion. I asked my dr. who told me to speak to my gyno. He told me that my sugar levels at the time of conception have a big effect on the baby. If im in control i have a normal good chance of a normal pregnancy but if im not in control at the time of conception it is likely to cause problems. So if you want children its best to get under control and plan it.

[anmi]

Hi all, thanks to each of you for replies...

I will write here all the answers... too laisy to quote them all

First thing, thanks for encourages and explanations... but the first conclusion, after reading all these posts is that I will hate more this stupid diabetes because causes so much problems ...
It is not enough that I have to carry him all day long after me, it has to ruin everybody's life and plans?!?!?! ....offffff....

I will not back of now, just that I am feeling too frustrated right now that even if we take very good care of it, it still implies risks...

I could not ever ever not fill guilty if something wrong will happen to my baby...
I am sure that I will overreact and even if he/she will got a flue, I will blame it on this stupid diabetes ...

I am sure that there is a chance that he could be as healthy as other children... but how can I know this from the beginning?
It's a big serious decision... I have to think one hundred times before...

[Alice]

What's to say he won't have any number of "other" problems down the road...kids are kids and they don't come with guarantees.

(coming from a non-mom here...but grew up with 6 siblings...I know a little something about variations!)

Let's just say the little child develops diabetes. So what? (Not sounding harsh here...) He will still be a great child...maybe smarter than his playmates in many ways. He may grow up and become a research doctor that finds "The Cure". Diabetes is not the worst thing that could happen to a child. Trust me on that one...

He may be a non-diabetic who robs a bank later...who knows...LOL! I know two very healthy lawyers that just got out of federal prison...diabetes is the last thing I'd worry about! Ok, now that I've cheered everyone up about their children...LOL!

[Jan B]

Anmi,

My heart is with you and I'm glad you are taking this seriously. I PM'd you about my personal experience.

I want to add: I was not in great control before getting pregnant; however I tried to be in good control throughout pregnancy. I also had an abusive husband & a minimal support system.

I just read that TODAY (my experience was 24 years ago), a Type 1 mother with good control of her disease has ALMOST the SAME likelihood of having a healthy child as a non-diabetic.

[anmi]

Originally Posted by Alice

Let's just say the little child develops diabetes. So what? (Not sounding harsh here...)

I have a niece, 2 years old... How could I ever tell her, no, you are not allowed to eat this now? Could you? I saw in the hospital how difficult is to teach a 5 years boy to be a grown up man... It is horror from my point of view... it is difficult for us, what about they...

It's not just like that... 'so what?' You cannot just don't offer him the most beautiful part of his/her life... childhood!!! How could you offer him a happy childhood by learning him how to count carbs and take 4 injections/day??????

I am sorry but for me it is not at all cheering up...

[anmi]

Originally Posted by Jan B

Anmi,

My heart is with you and I'm glad you are taking this seriously. I PM'd you about my personal experience.

I want to add: I was not in great control before getting pregnant; however I tried to be in good control throughout pregnancy. I also had an abusive husband & a minimal support system.

I just read that TODAY (my experience was 24 years ago), a Type 1 mother with good control of her disease has ALMOST the SAME likelihood of having a healthy child as a non-diabetic.

Jan, thank you very very much for the replies and PM. Don't worry, it's not your experience that scared me the most... it's just this fact, that I have to have extra worries and extra thoughts and ... you know all the stuff.

I am very very sorry about what you are saying... the husband, the system and overall this diabetes... you should be a hero, not a men

All my love and support with you also

[Alice]

I don't take your decision-making lightly...really I don't. But you are worrying about something that may never happen. Kids are very resilient...the fear comes from parents...not the kids. (I was very young when diagnosed..age 7)

At that time, I understood everything. I remember little books about exchanges and it was a little game my mother and I played.

Also, very young children are put on pumps with great success. In the U.S., kids are encouraged to pump to make life easier...yes, it's still hard work...but that doesn't have to interfere with childhood.

Your child, if ever diagnosed, would be fine. Your feelings about it, though may never change. How that fear is directed toward a child, is another question you have to ask yourself.

But right now, this is all "what if"...right?

I have childhood friends who have died from cancer, cystic fibrosis (that's not much fun...) and from car accidents. There just aren't "perfect" people...I have another friend who was born without thumbs who grew up to be a very famous editor...does he spend time thinking about it? No, it doesn't cross his mind...it's all in the attitude.

[Alice]

P.S....the word "not allowed" was never used in context with diabetes...I still hate it when adults say they ate something that "isn't allowed"...

In regards to other rules..."not allowed" was heard frequently in my house!

[RLK]

I've been watching this thread with some interest, as I am 28 and DH and I have been married for several years now, but no kids (human ones anyway- plenty of furry ones! ). We're still very much undecided on the issue of having a family.

Anmi, if you really want kids, then I think that you should do everything in your power to manage your diabetes and have a healthy pregnancy. But the question of wanting children should be the most important question IMO, not the question of will they or won't they have diabetes. Children don't come with warranties....they come as they are, and they are loved in spite of those things that make them special, even diabetes.

I wish you all the best in making your decision!

[deansreef]

i am a type 1 diabetic and the father of 2 school age children- Does me being a type 1 increase my children odds of diabetes?

[caswellhb]

Hmmmm, this thread is scaring me to death.

Heather.

[Jan B]

HEATHER,

NO -- please don't be scared. NO -- you have a huge support system and YOU and your babies will be fine. Believe ok? Sending you hugs, love and all the best. You've got a great doctor too and you are doing all you can. It's normal for your BGs to be a little wierd.

[Jan B]

Originally Posted by RLK

But the question of wanting children should be the most important question IMO, not the question of will they or won't they have diabetes. Children don't come with warranties....they come as they are, and they are loved in spite of those things that make them special, even diabetes.

This is TRUE and a very important point.

[anmi]

Common people... I didn't open this thread to convince myself IF I WANT or NOT a baby or to scare others ... heather stop it ... this is not for you to read

Of course, the simple fact that I want a baby or not is MY OWN VERY IMPORTANT decision which will never be discussed in this or another forum ... My point was exactly regarding the risks implied... Of course, I wasn't thinking about a baby with a stamp on his head "HEALTHY", good to be born by me )))))

Alice, you are right, I should be happy cause I don't have cancer or wasn't killed in a car accident or anything else more horrible and thanks God I only have diabetes ... I am sure things could be worst, I am sure there are all over the world children with much more problems them me. But as I said before, I have to think one hundred times before taking this important decision, especially because I know myself and I will overreact at the smallest problem the baby would have and I will blame it on me and on this diabetes.

The true and real point is that I myself didn't have a very happy childhood (I will not get into the details) and is the biggest regret of my life... I hated the fact that I have to act like grown up people, to understand problems and so on ... This is exactly what I don't want for my baby.

On the other hand, as I said in another thread, maybe you didn't read it, I am leaving at the end of the world , in Romania, here the new technologies arrive when they became deprecated ))) ... meaning it's not very easy to get a pump, neither for me, neither for kids. We have a very stupid and 'unhealthy' health system...

[anmi]

Originally Posted by RLK

I've been watching this thread with some interest, as I am 28 and DH and I have been married for several years now, but no kids (human ones anyway- plenty of furry ones! ).

I also have hairy and 4 legs kids in my house )) ... they are the love of my life ))... for the moment

all the best to you too