[sand-not-oil]

Dear all,
I'm fed up (depressed seems like a really harsh word).

I was trying to get pregnant for 8 months , then they say you are now diabetic. A great day, NOT!

My doc tells me to get my levels under 7 then I'll be allowed to try again.

I do, within 6 months. We try & nothing happens.

Nearly 1 year later, I'm late, but tests keep saying no. Confused???

I see doc, he says tests are sometimes wrong in early stages, I get up hope & tell hubby.

9 days late and now we're convinced I'm preggers.

10 days and blood flows, pi***d off, depressed, miserable, annnoyed, questioning????

Is it to do with the diabetes, was I preggers and my body decided to reject 'cos of BG's (slightly higher than normal out of the blue) or is it nothing to do with diabetes at all?

But most of all i'm pi***d off that I even have to think about all this ****. I don't want to be diabetic I just want to be NORMAL, and to have babies, eat, sleep & drink like everyone else. It just gets me down that we waited until the time was right to have babies, and now it looks like the time that was right was when I was younger and healthier.

Yes this is going to sound pathetic, but I'm probably not the only one here who has asked these questions - WHY ME???? WHY NOW???

I know i'm feeling sorry for myself, but sometimes this gets a bit too much to cope with, and in my none internet life I am the person who is always together, and people think I never get down.

I DO get down, and today I needed to let go of a bit of it, and I hope you don't mind that I did it here.
Thanks for listening
Sand-not-oil

[DeusXM]

Don't feel bad about venting, it's cathartic and hopefully will make you feel better.

Diabetes is a REALLY bum deal and it's not fair and it's not right. You're by no means the only one who ends up thinking 'why me?' so you don't need to feel alone. You don't sound pathetic in the slightest. You sound like the rest of us. You sound like a human being.

I'm absolutely no authority on pregnancy, but I doubt that elevated bg could cause a termination. Don't feel bad. This is NOT your fault and I'm sure that you will be able to have a baby. Keep trying, at least that can be quite a fun part , and remember, there's still lots of options available to you to help you get pregnant.

Take care. You're going to be just fine, and we're all here for you.

[mg_2204]

... I've had 3 diabetic pregnancies. Being diabetic never prevented me from getting pregnant although for our 2nd child it took a long time (over a year, had a miscarriage --- and *not* related to diabetes I must point out). I remember how frustrated and angry I was. I did everything; monitoring my temp, followed stupid diets, etc. My doc prescribed something to make me ovulate and it worked! Had the prescription slip in my wallet... and bingo!!! Some say you just have to forget about getting pregnant... and then it works. Come to think of it, it happened to at least 2 of my friends. And one had been trying for 5 years. Don't despair!

Marie

[sand-not-oil]

Thanks Deus glad to know others have bad days and think this diabetic malarky is a bum deal, and yes it did feel good to vent.

And mg_2204 where did you get this 'magic prescription' from, I just tried the magic 'book the smear test' formula, and as mentioned earlier it wasn't that successful so maybe I should go to Hogwarts Special clinic too.

Oh bugger.....another down side to this not being preggers...... I'll actually have to go get that pesky smear test after all!

Thanks again

[HeatherP]

I'm sorry you're having such problems. I'm not into kids myself, so I can't relate to your fustration in that arena, but I do wonder "why me?". It's just not fair, but then, nobody said life is fair.

Feel free to vent anytime,
HeatherP

[Mick]

"Why Me" is NEVER the question you should ask--do not go there, okay, it leads you nowhere. When I was diagnosed, in 1965, aged 12, I whined to my mother, "It's not fair!" She answered me (words of wisdom I value to this day), "Nobody ever said Life was going to be fair honey." Indeed... When my wife and I could not concieve, my darling said it was not fair. I repeated to her my mother's wisdom, and we went and adopted a beautiful daughter, who turned 21 recently, and is a spitfire and a wonder. We adopted a 4 year old orphaned boy 10 years ago--My son begins high school in the fall... 5 years ago, when I had a heart attack and required triple by-pass, my wife wondered, "Why me?", but I thanked my lucky stars that it hadn't killed me right then and there, and that I got a second (well, third, really...) chance at life. 3 months ago, my wife of 30 years was diagnosed with rare and deadly cancer. She did (briefly) wonder "why her" and complain it was not fair. She underwent 9 hours of surgery to remove parts of her intestines, stomach, pancreas, gallbladder... Now weeks of chemo and radiation... I face it all with this attitude--our lives are a gift. Open every day with gratitude and wonder, live it with joy and in light, give more than you receive, and NEVER ask "Why me?" Just say, "Thank you" and live that day as best you can, with love and devotion. I have enjoyed 39 years of diabetes that way, 23 years of infertility that way, and 5 years of heart disease that way--yes, ENJOYED all those conditions, and the consequences that have flowed from them--my awareness of how precious my life is, how wonderful my children are, how impossibly fragile we are. Strength to win comes from belief in your ability to triumph. Go hither into this night and light it with your faith, with your joy, and with your heart. Turn the dispair of your darkness into joy thru the light of your faith in yourself.

Quit yer *****in', buck up, and do what needs to be done to become the person you need to be.

Michael
The eternal optimist, in spite of all evidence to the contrary...

[Timeless]

Mick

I to, underwent a 12 hour whipple surgery about 7 months ago. I know from experience how difficult this surgery can be. I thank god that the grapefruit size tumor in my pancreas head was benign. I wish your wife and your family the best of luck and patience with dealing with this situation. The reason for my newly dx'd diabetes is a result of my whipple. What little pancreas tail I had left had been severly damaged by chronic pantreatitis and from the scar tissue that bulit up after the surgery.

There is a wonderful support group - forum for pancreatic cancer at John Hopkins web site. Here is the link - http://162.129.103.56/N/n.web?EP=N&URL=/MCGI/SEND1^WEBUTLTY(199,8)/1637031274

This is a wonderful forum for sufferers and family members of pancreatic cancer. I had many, many questions during my recovery and there was an abundant supply of people there willing to help.


Timeless

[mg_2204]

... After taking my temp for 6 months, and then studying the graphic with my doc, he was under the impression I was ovulating quite late during my cycle... and perhaps sometimes I didn't. He prescribed something (if I recall, they were 5 pills, to be taken straight after my period) to make me ovulate. So there I was, WANTING to have my period... but it never came -- Quite effective I should say.

And for our 3rd child, even with contraception, I became pregnant. Our daughter was only 8 months old. I give up! I'll never understand Mother Nature.

I have a niece that has been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now. They are going to a fertility clinic now. Turns out she doesn't ovulate every month. I don't know what will be the next step for them.

Don't say smear test! Makes me shiver...

Marie

[Deager]

Michael,

I always learn from your posts. Your attitude is the best I've seen here and you truly offer words of wisdom.

I, too, wish you and your family the best during this trying time. I'm going to print your last post and put it on our corkboard so that whenever we think we have it bad, we can get comfort from your words.

Thank you so much.

Diane

[HeatherP]

Best wishes to your family and your wife, Mick.