10 years ago...

sable_032592 · #1 (**permalink**) 11-07-2009, 08:26 PM

on this date, 10 years ago, i was DKA, a coma for 3 days... it wasn't caused by anything i had done or hadn't done, but was mostly due to misinformation on the part of a doctor and weight loss clinic...

it's 10 years later and there's no signs of damage to any organs or anything else physically... but i can't help but sit here and think back on the past 10 years... nothing has changed, not only medically for me, but also emtionally or personally...

i've had boyfriends since then, been to may places and seen many things, but the end result is, right now, i feel the same way now as i did back then... with one exception, i'm severly despressed about it...

i know there are things i could do help myself out of this, but i've tried them and they don't seem to help much... i get even more depressed about i try something to cheer myself up...

i don't know if this is a cry for help or not, i just feel so lost right now... i can't help but wonder what i was spared from dying 10 years aog for if this is all there is...

sorry if i bummed anyone out with this... i guess i just had to let something out...

i doubt i'll do anything stupid, so no need to panic...

ReadMyLips · #2 (**permalink**) 11-07-2009, 08:54 PM

Sable,
Have you considered seeing a doctor about your depression? I am on Cymbalta and it has done wonders for me!

Dougster · #3 (**permalink**) 11-07-2009, 09:20 PM

Thank you for sharing your feelings. It would appear that you are in good company from what I can tell here by reading the many posts. I am in the "Ok, this is another challenge" phase right now." Depression should not be taken lightly, I agree with Becky, perhaps it might be good to speak to someone about this. Tell me, how are you socializing these days? Getting out amongst friends and family?

I am sure you will laugh, but, in the past when I felt in a "funk", I followed an old roomate's advice, "Dress up and head out!", even if it's window shopping at a mall. Sometimes a change of view is all that is needed. One really nice thing about being out is, there is a chance to actually meet people and have a great conversation, perhaps make a new friend.

Just one thing, I lived near South Coast Plaza, and Fashion Island in Orange County, CA, so I had to learn to leave my credit cards at home! Talk about depression, wait till the bills come in if you don't just "window" shop!

(Wicked Nordstrom's Cardholder Grin)

Be well and happy!

A comfortably numb,
Dougster

yannah · #4 (**permalink**) 11-08-2009, 05:19 AM

sable,

I am sorry honey, I know you are always trying to remain calm and optimistic. Sometimes things do get the btter of us and we just feel wiped out.

I cannot say I know how you feel as I am sure I do not. but I really beleive in reading your posts over time, that you really do need some help through this.

and I do not blame you.

I went through a long period of barely being able to get out of bed and function. People would say "just get up!" "take a walk" "cheer up!" and this kind of thing. and I knew I should be I couldn't.

sometimes things just pile up and out chemistry gets all out of wack. I tried to find a crisis hot line number for you from your area and it looks like this is it.

ST. PAUL Crisis Line 780-645-5195 or 1-800-263-3045

we do care about you here. please feel free to talk some more.

You really have been through some stressful stuff but there is alot of good going on. I hope you can find someone to talk to and don't let these feeling go on to long!

I worry about ya sister.

davef · #5 (**permalink**) 11-08-2009, 10:20 AM

Sable,

Do seek some help, there is no reason to live feeling as you do. Having D is not easy and I reckon it gets to us all from time to time. But if you are finding that you are feeling down and depressed for a prolonged period then you should get some professional help.

It's good that you have been able to come here and share your feelin gs, try take the next step and seek professional help.

Granny Shanny · #6 (**permalink**) 11-08-2009, 10:34 AM

It isn't something you can fix by yourself, although getting moving can help. But you need outside help and it's available. Please ask your doc, sable . . . it's just too painful for you to be enduring this for so long.

sable_032592 · #7 (**permalink**) 11-08-2009, 02:18 PM

hey everyone... as you can see i didn't do anything stupid...

as for my "funk", i don't know what happened but from what i can tell and the help i got from my neighbor, who is a pharmacist, she asked me what i had been eating and drinking in the past few days, since this depression got worse, she knows i'm on effexor xr...

i hadn't been drinking enough water and i had eaten some dehydrated fruit bars... i had also thrown up a few times in the past two days, she thinks my electrolytes were low and my body was was trying to get water from my insides, since the brain is a lot of water, i guess it went there...

i also know that my anti-depressant meds aren't working the way they used to, so that's another issue, but i feel better today...

i must thank all of you for giving me a place to vent and let go... i really needed it...

davef · #8 (**permalink**) 11-08-2009, 02:36 PM

Good to hear you are feeling better today.

You know you can always come here to vent. Please do speak to who ever prescribes your anti-depressant meds, if you find they are not working as they should or used to, don't suffer.

dbaratta · #9 (**permalink**) 11-08-2009, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sable_032592

hey everyone... as you can see i didn't do anything stupid...

as for my "funk", i don't know what happened but from what i can tell and the help i got from my neighbor, who is a pharmacist, she asked me what i had been eating and drinking in the past few days, since this depression got worse, she knows i'm on effexor xr...

i hadn't been drinking enough water and i had eaten some dehydrated fruit bars... i had also thrown up a few times in the past two days, she thinks my electrolytes were low and my body was was trying to get water from my insides, since the brain is a lot of water, i guess it went there...

i also know that my anti-depressant meds aren't working the way they used to, so that's another issue, but i feel better today...

i must thank all of you for giving me a place to vent and let go... i really needed it...

Diet has EVERYTHING to do with how you feel emotionally and physically. Do some research on which foods actually help you feel better emotionally. I know Bananas are one, and a good one!!!

sable_032592 · #10 (**permalink**) 11-08-2009, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dbaratta

Diet has EVERYTHING to do with how you feel emotionally and physically. Do some research on which foods actually help you feel better emotionally. I know Bananas are one, and a good one!!!

i love bananas but the last time i had one, i broke out in hives, so i'm waiting until after i see the allergy doctor...

kgm0612 · #11 (**permalink**) 11-09-2009, 08:40 AM

Hang in there Sable. It's a known fact that Diabetes & Depression go hand in hand in a lot of people.

Karen

lorilei · #12 (**permalink**) 11-09-2009, 12:10 PM

aww Sable, by sharing your personal about how roughly you entered this d world you have had a big impact on me about a year ago..

I was so terrified of going back on insulin after my less than ideal venture when preganant that i was more willing to cut out every carb and every social function for as long as i could, despite the rising numbers and feeling just crappy...but I can still visualize the story that you shared about your DKA coma ...it became one of the driving reasons that i finally went back on insulin before i crashed big and hard...and i have to say that i think i just narrowly avoided that nightmare...

so i am very happy for your 10 yr D-anniversary and all the hard work and sharing you put forth here..

plattb1 · #13 (**permalink**) 11-09-2009, 12:59 PM

Sable, take care of yourself! Sometimes, that in itself seems a challenge, I know, but you will feel so much better if you can do it. Put your own needs front & center - if that means get professional help, don't let it bother you to ask for it. We all need that at times & any of us can be at that point at any time. Keep us posted on how you're doing.

sable_032592 · #14 (**permalink**) 11-09-2009, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lorilei

aww Sable, by sharing your personal about how roughly you entered this d world you have had a big impact on me about a year ago..

I was so terrified of going back on insulin after my less than ideal venture when preganant that i was more willing to cut out every carb and every social function for as long as i could, despite the rising numbers and feeling just crappy...but I can still visualize the story that you shared about your DKA coma ...it became one of the driving reasons that i finally went back on insulin before i crashed big and hard...and i have to say that i think i just narrowly avoided that nightmare...

so i am very happy for your 10 yr D-anniversary and all the hard work and sharing you put forth here..

i'm not too sure what to say to that... i didn't know anyone had gotten anything from my experience... i'm glad i was able to help someone else with what happened to me...

my family even suggested that i try be a consellor or some type of helper... i never thought about it before because i didn't think i had anything to offer... i'm not saying it's something i'd do, but still, it's nice to know that i can help at least one person... so thank you, this really helps too...

i'm really glad that i didn't die 10 years ago, i fell into my coma on my niece's 8th birthday... what a bad thing for her to remember... i know, i was born the same day my grandfather died...

ok, enough rambling on... i'm ok now, it can only get better...