Been a rough last few days

[bdelatte]

Its been a rough last few days for me. High numbers sitting between 160-225 for three days straight. Ive changed my site two times now and doesnt seem to help. havent eaten anything different and I usually have tight good control. Been under a ton of stress with my husband's family and ex wife so assuming the stress is doing it. When is it a good time to remove yourself from a situation when you health starts to get affected b/c of other people's drama? I don't want my sugars to be out of whack consistently like this b/c I have a psycotic Mother in law and husbands ex wife to deal with my entire life. what a disaster. sorry for this post, had to vent. so annoyed and starting to get angry b/c my health is being affected

[Jan74br]

I'm so sorry. I struggle with psycho in-laws and a psycho mother, and I call the rise in my BG the "family effect". If my mother calls, I go 50 points up immediately, ugh.

I have started hanging up and saying "I cannot deal with emergencies right now. It is bad for my blood sugar", though.

[Hammer]

My daughter is in a similar situation with her husband's ex-wife and daughter. The stress was getting to be too much for her, so she went to a therapist who told her that she needed to remove herself from the situation. To do that she needs to see to it that she is not around when the ex-wife or daughter are present, which is typically less than one day. My daughter just leaves the house to visit friends or relatives during that time, and comes home when the person is gone. Since my daughter has so many things she can do outside of her home, it's no problem for her to leave for the day.

[jbmacomber]

My daughter is in a similar situation with her husband's ex-wife and daughter. The stress was getting to be too much for her, so she went to a therapist who told her that she needed to remove herself from the situation. To do that she needs to see to it that she is not around when the ex-wife or daughter are present, which is typically less than one day. My daughter just leaves the house to visit friends or relatives during that time, and comes home when the person is gone. Since my daughter has so many things she can do outside of her home, it's no problem for her to leave for the day.

Seems like great advice. Mine can spike dramatically with stress. I'd say whenever you are affected by other's to the point it is affecting your health it is good to remove yourself if you can.

[TeddySue]

When possible, leave... OH! I needed to hear those words. For years I've just accepted the stress and suffered the consequences. There are people who trigger RAGE in me for "known" reasons. It's my fault if I ALLOW them to stress me... my fault. Thank you all for shaking some sense into me. It makes NO sense to allow this into my life when I know what it will do. It's to the point that I think, constantly, that I'm the psycho!
Because of the trauma I am not able to abide things that I see others involved in: HAPPY people who want to celebrate EVERY woman's birthday (in the church) with a huge party and cake and ice cream and everything imaginable that a diabetic must refrain from in order to stay alive. My life can never be like other people's lives. I must stay far away from the things that trigger me. That's why I'm a recluse.
TS

[Hammer]

I should have added....don't be afraid to let these people who stress you out know why you won't spend time with them. In other words, if they ask a relative why you are never around when they come over, have the relative tell them that you don't wish to be around them since they cause you too much stress and you don't have time in your life for unnecessary stress.

I have a friend who is so negative about everything that he just emotionally drains you when you talk to him. I made up a term to describe people like him.....I call him an emotional vampire. You can't argue with him because he refuses to listen. He'll go on and on about how the world is such a bad place because of this or that, yet when you respond by pointing out all of the good things that exist, he brushes them off as if they were abnormalities. I realized that it was a waste of time trying to argue with him, so now, I just agree with him and let him rant and rave until he's tired and hangs up. I never call him because I know what will happen, so I just wait until he calls me, which isn't that often.

[Jan74br]

Your friend sounds like my sister-in-law, Hammer. She once called to complain about winning $30k in a raffle with a $20 ticket. I timed it, she spent 40m complaining about how terrible it was that she'd won the money cause she had to pay taxes on it. That is the day I realized that there was literally nothing that could make her happy, not even free money.

[TeddySue]

Of course, I'm different...

I am triggered by the HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY people who smile constantly and have a "perky" personality. This is why I don't answer the phone when the "happy people" call. It's all about them and I just listen, if I'm trapped in a face to face conversation with them. This place, DF, is the only place I can vent where if people think I'm crazy then I don't know it because I can't see their faces. I do tend to read a lot into facial expressions.
BDELATTE: Sorry to high-jack your thread! YIKES! But I think this made for a GREAT topic. THANKS!
TS

[bdelatte]

I should have added....don't be afraid to let these people who stress you out know why you won't spend time with them. In other words, if they ask a relative why you are never around when they come over, have the relative tell them that you don't wish to be around them since they cause you too much stress and you don't have time in your life for unnecessary stress.

Oh trust me she knows why I dont come around. This has been an ongoing problem since my husband asked me to marry him. Shes a very controlling mother in law who looks at it as i am stealing her boy from her. shes nuts. She tried to get people to stop our wedding etc. I did at one point completely take myself out of his family for about 5 months b/c she had turned the entire family against me with obsurd lies . I decided about a month ago to give her another chance b/c she stopped by on mothers day and seemed to be somewhat normal. I knew it was really only to get her son back in her life but i figured id try to at least give her one more chance. Well it backfired. people that dont even know me hate me b/c of this woman as well as the lies she has told people are so psychotic it almost makes me laugh. Anyway, i notice anytime shes in my life my sugars are high. I hate to be one of those people that uses their diabetes as an excuse b/c i never have and never will but at this point im thinking its a pretty good one to compltely cut her and others out of my life b/c all they're doing is mentallyhurting and stressing me to the point of having uncontrolled sugars. I've worked so dang hard past year to get my A1c down to a 6.0 that I am not going to let others screw me up.

[FeistyRedhead]

Hammer.... Your friend sounds exactly like my mother! Emotional Vampire. I'm going to remember that. My sibs and I call my mom 'Darth Vadar' because she tries to suck the life force right out of you. She's an angry bitter hateful woman who thrives on making people miserable. Just the sound of her voice makes me cringe. Thank goodness she lives about 1,500 miles away. lol

[FeistyRedhead]

Every woman wants her mother-in-law to adore her. Unfortunately that's not always the case. My ex-MIL hated me. She acted the same way your MIL does. My ex-MIL acted like I stole her precious baby boy from her. Well, guess what, she got him back after I divorced him. lol In the ten years we were married I think I only visited the in-laws a handful of times. Not even once a year. It's not written in cement that we are required to spend time, get along with, hang out with, visit our in-laws. I guess it's expected, but no where is it written. The old bag hated me and I couldn't stand her for acting like I was the enemy. Needless to say I removed myself from the situation and let her precious baby boy visit with her when ever he wanted. It worked much better that way.

[Hammer]

I'm sure that we all have examples of what these people do to create such negativity. Here is just one from this friend I mentioned. We were at work one night and we were watching TV in our shop when an advertisement came on that advertised the new movie (at that time) "102 Dalmatians". As we watched the ad, this guy started into a tirade about how this movie was causing many kids to bug their parents to get them a new Dalmatian puppy, and when the parents did, the family would only keep the puppy for a few months, then turn them in to the animal shelter because they didn't want them anymore. (I don't know where he got this information, but he believed it.)

I said to him that if this was true, what did he expect the movie industry to do? It wasn't their fault if kids wanted a Dalmatian puppy. He said that since they made millions off of the movie, then they should donate some of that money to the dogs that were at the animal shelters to help save them and find them new homes. ( I didn't see how the movie and the abandoned dogs were tied together, but he ranted about it for 30 minutes, then stormed off. Oh, by the way, the other workers always referred to him as "Psycho".)

People like him try to find the negative aspect of everything. If 1,000 doctors say that something is okay for you, but 1 doctor says it's bad for you, he will quote the one doctor that says it's bad for you.

One thing that I've noticed about him.....nothing is ever his fault. He is always the victim. No matter what happens to him that is bad, it's always because of something someone else did to him. He'd complain that the company was out to get him. He'd say that the company never appreciated a good worker....someone who was always on time and always did their work. He WAS always on time, but every time his boss gave him a job, he'd complain the whole night about it, and god forbid if his boss gave him a second job that night.

People like him seem to have this view that they are perfect and everyone else isn't, so the rest of the world is out to get them in one way or another. They will never see that THEY are the problem, not the rest of the world.

[Moonpie]

Yep, take a break from the crazy witch. You do not need to mention why. Just do it.

[Penny]

Because I have a MIL just like the one the rest of you have I do understand....but I cannot escape mine. She has made things up and accused me of things I could not possibly have done for 46 years, she did not want to help her son, basically abandoned him when he needed help the most. We barely saw her for 20 years, then she wanted to step back in his life (without me) and have him take care of her. He was an only child an could not think of a way out of it. And because I don't drive, I could not just leave when she was around. I have found that when things are going really bad and I am feeling at my lowest, I try real hard to do at least one thing for myself that makes me feel good. It doesn't have to be much, a lunch with an old friend, a bunch of flowers, an hour sitting alone to read a good book. It doesn't make the problem go away, but somehow helps me deal with it a little easier. I had my A1C down below 6 for the first time, and my MIL moved in, now I struggle everyday to keep it around 6. I just need to find more little things to help me through the days that do not include the wrong foods.

[Caravaggio]

...
I have a friend who is so negative about everything that he just emotionally drains you when you talk to him. I made up a term to describe people like him.....I call him an emotional vampire. You can't argue with him because he refuses to listen. He'll go on and on about how the world is such a bad place because of this or that, yet when you respond by pointing out all of the good things that exist, he brushes them off as if they were abnormalities. I realized that it was a waste of time trying to argue with him, so now, I just agree with him and let him rant and rave until he's tired and hangs up. I never call him because I know what will happen, so I just wait until he calls me, which isn't that often.

I know someone like that. Nothing is ever good or positive for her. I called her the black hole of negativity. I had to stay away from her.