[GeishaGirl]

I got yelled at on a weight loss board about this topic, so I guess I want to see what other diabetics have to say.

I have (just a few days ago) truly broken through the wall of denial that kept me from "being good." I'm simultaniously trying to eat better (following GlycemicImpact plan) and mourn the foods that are now "off-limits" on a daily basis (specifically, ramen noodles and Reeses Pieces). I'm both horribly sad and horribly lonely right now.

My endo is useless for nutrition, and I'm wary of nutritionists, so I was trying to work on my own. I finally gave in and joined eDiets, letting them (and their hookup with the GlycemicImpact people) simply make meal plans for me. My problem previously is that my husband is USELESS in helping me. I'd say "I really want some ice cream" and he'd say "Sure, pick me up a Snickers while you're out?"

*grins* A) I was only expressing a desire, not an intent and B) I never offered to go out! HIS desire for snacks superceded the fact that I SHOULDN'T be having them. Besides that, it's almost impossible to make weekly menus with him. Granted, he's the cook AND he's Italian, so almost EVERYTHING involves pasta or mashed potatoes. Plus he's a really good cook, so it's hard to turn away anything he cooks

Normally, I'd say let him eat what I wants, so long as I get what I need (I'm not allowed to cook. The last time I cooked, I destroyed a pan and the smell didn't leave the house for almost a week). But we're trying desparately to pay off debt and save for a house, so living on two separate menus seems silly and wasteful.

Am I wrong in thinking that, for now, he should try to follow the plan with me for major meals (usually dinner, we eat separate breakfasts and lunches anyway)? I was called totally selfish and controlling -- I didn't think I was, but now I'm so confused. I don't know if I'm being unfair to my husband or he's being unfair to me!

I don't want to take away his snacks (even though I think HE'S going to wind up T2 if he keeps up like this!) but I feel like I'm in this very tenuous place where I could go either way -- either commit to being really healthy, or commit to destruction.

I will say, for now, that things ARE improving, bit by bit. I had a bit of a breakdown a few days ago -- horrible depression, and crying, and screaming..... I'm a drum-tight person, emotionally, so I think it scared him

[princesslinda]

Amanda...<<<HUGS>>> We ALL can relate to how difficult it is to eat the way we should...and how its doubly hard to eat right when someone else eats "forbidden foods" in front of us.

My advice, try and make sure there are always things you can have readily available in your fridge, so that when he wants a snack, you can eat something also. When hubby has a candy bar, i'll have a couple pieces of Dove Dark Chocolate that I keep in the freezer. We both eat the s/f puddings and jellos.

I LOVE pasta myself...and have found I can have the Dreamfield's brand w/o bad effect on my bloodsugars. My hubby (not diabetic) can't tell the difference, so its the only past we have. I just don't eat the garlic bread...though its still on the table for him.

When first diagnosed, we had nothing in the house that I couldn't eat...and we both ate like I ate. Hubby lost around 50 lbs just by giving up the things we used to eat. You're still new in trying to control things, so these first few weeks will be very difficult for you. He is adjusting to the new you, just as you are.

In a perfect world, he'd eat a diabetic diet and you'd both live happily ever-after, and there'd be no temptations at home...on the other hand, however, he's not diabetic...so why should he have to give up all his favorite foods just because you can't have them?

If he's doing the cooking, request that he make sure you have a salad each night along with whatever veggies you enjoy. Try the Dreamfields pasta...then both of you have some jello sugar free chocolate/cheesecake layered pudding for dessert. Suggest that he have candy bars and the like while he's not around you, as it would help you stick with your healthier lifestyle.

Hang in there! Things will get easier. And you will at times be able to have a little of the things you enjoyed prior to diagnosis...you just have to plan for them and watch your portion size.

[Penny]

Hi Amanda. My husband does most of the cooking in our house. To tell the truth, I am a much better cook, but he likes doing it, and I did it all for so many years, I don't mind letting him. He is also part Italian, and likes pasta several times a week and he is also part Irish and loves his potatoes. We struggled for awhile, but finally figured out he would cook the things he and the rest of the family loves, and I would eat want I am allowed from it and add the things the rest of them will not eat. If he makes spaghetti, I eat meatballs with a little of the sauce. If he makes baked potatoes, I eat a baked sweet potato. Sometimes it is hard to pass things up, but I manage to most of the time and don't feel too deprived. When I do, I give in and have a few bites of the rigatoni or parsley potatoes....as long as I keep it small and not often, I don't have too much of a problem.

[princesslinda]

Where do you ladies find these men who do most of the cooking???? Hubby can fix a few things, but doesn't enjoy it...I enjoy it, but don't have a lot of time..I do a lot of cooking on Sunday for the rest of the week....less temptation to eat "junk" if there something good in the fridge.

[GeishaGirl]

Nope, my guy actually said yesterday "You know, cooking in the kitchen is the only time and place I ever really feel comfortable."

And he was making us taaaaacos I figure when the only carbs are taco shells, it can't be all bad, right? He added rice to his, I didn't. Easy enough

Tomorrow is Cheeseburger and Salad night. I'm going to skip the bun. We're trying

[Penny]

Originally Posted by princesslinda

Where do you ladies find these men who do most of the cooking???? Hubby can fix a few things, but doesn't enjoy it...I enjoy it, but don't have a lot of time..I do a lot of cooking on Sunday for the rest of the week....less temptation to eat "junk" if there something good in the fridge.

Linda, we have been married for going onto 43 years. During most of that time, Hubby never did anything except go to work. I did all child care (7 kids, 5 he brought with him), housework, laundry, cooking and even yard work. When he retired, he was bored, started cooking a meal once in awhile. After my second heart attack and then the cancer, he annouced he was going to do "everything" for me from now on. Of course, it didn't quite reach that point, but he does the cooking, helps with the housework and laundry. Of course there is not near as much to do now, but I still appreciate what he does.

[princesslinda]

When you're having tacos, have yours on a low-carb tortilla (you can get these at walmart). I make fajitas this way too, just having one huge fajita on tortilla, then having just the fixins! I tolerate refried beans well too. Its one of those times when you'd want to check and see how your blood sugar responds though.

As for burgers, they are indeed easy to do bunless..and I also like the Nature's Own Double Fiber burger and hot dog buns.

Also, there are some really good peanut butter cookies under the recipe forum....made with peanut butter, splenda, egg, vanilla....you'll probably both like these.

[Penny]

Originally Posted by GeishaGirl

Nope, my guy actually said yesterday "You know, cooking in the kitchen is the only time and place I ever really feel comfortable."

And he was making us taaaaacos I figure when the only carbs are taco shells, it can't be all bad, right? He added rice to his, I didn't. Easy enough

Tomorrow is Cheeseburger and Salad night. I'm going to skip the bun. We're trying

Amanda, I hate skipping the bun on cheeseburger night. I found some low carb buns that I really like, but the rest of the family will not try because they say "low carb". I keep them in the freezer and take one out at a time and wrap it in a paper towel to thaw and heat it.

[GeishaGirl]

So far, the regular taco shells are doing well. My sugars have been high but consistent today. I think my problems all involve bedtime and waking up, which is doctor-territory more than correct-with-food territory. So, anyway, I had them again for lunch and here's how it went:

12:30 - sugar is 178, I eat 2 tacos (16g carbs)
1:30 - sugar is 194
2:30 - sugar is 173
4:30 - sugar is 130 (4-6 is my low time).

So, while I'm running high today, tacos at least kept me consistent. If I can get my base numbers low, tacos are fine

[sprzepiora]

I am so sick of arguing with my wife about meals I just come home from work and make my own dinner. Sometimes I can eat some of the stuff she makes, and no, we really don't have the money either, but you make do with what you have. I eat a lot of chicken breasts, Aldi's has them pretty cheap.

[Scrabblechick]

ALDI!! My favorite store! I love that place. LOL.

Anyway, geisha, taco shells don't seem to trigger a high for me, either, as long as I don't eat four of them. LOL. Also, I get a cheeseburger fairly often. I eat one bite, bun and all, then take the meat off the bun and eat it with a fork.

Talk to him about making sure that whatever he cooks can either a) have the carbs "removed" by removing the side dish or b) using something like Dreamfield's pasta if he wants to make a casserole. For instance, he could make lasagna. Dreamfield's does lasagna noodles, and you could eat that without fear. Cheese, meat, tomato sauce:all lower in carbs. No worries. Mac and cheese? Use Dreamfield's elbows and you're A-OK.

Also, ask him to put his sugary treats in a place where you don't go and won't see them. For me, it's out of sight, out of mind.

Stock up on good, s/f treats for yourself. The Slim-A-Bear people make a good, sugar-free ice cream sandwich and ice cream bar. Breyer's has a low-carb ice cream that's tasty, too.

The Green Giant and Bird's Eye people also have single serve veggie dishes you can pop into the microwave. These are goof-proof and are a good way to get a green veggie in for your meal.

I know about what happens to meal planning when money is tight. Say he makes chicken breasts for supper. If he marinates them in barbecue sauce, just ask him to put one aside for you that isn't marinated. Same package of chicken breasts. You just get the one without the sauce. Stir fry works the same way. Get your portion out before the sauce is added.

It's a balancing act and I sooo understand mourning the loss of some things you used to eat.

Once he sees how much better you're feeling when your BG is under control, he will be even more eager to help you.

Good luck! We're all pulling for you!

[volleyball]

In reality, it doesn't cost much more to have separate meals. Only a little extra electricity or gas and some wrap for the leftovers.

But it is a good argument to say that you NEED to eat this way. He can make your stuff and his or he can try eating your way. That should allow you guys to get a bigger house because you can save more. You can even try it for a couple of days a week.
But he is not obligated to eat your way because of your needs. Tell him you respect that but would like his strong help as much as possible. Saying that if you eat better, you will be healthier longer and be able to enjoy things in the future instead of being sidelined by diabetes

[cyberus]

Originally Posted by GeishaGirl

So far, the regular taco shells are doing well. My sugars have been high but consistent today. I think my problems all involve bedtime and waking up, which is doctor-territory more than correct-with-food territory. So, anyway, I had them again for lunch and here's how it went:

12:30 - sugar is 178, I eat 2 tacos (16g carbs)
1:30 - sugar is 194
2:30 - sugar is 173
4:30 - sugar is 130 (4-6 is my low time).

So, while I'm running high today, tacos at least kept me consistent. If I can get my base numbers low, tacos are fine

Taco shells seem to be a brand by brand thing, both in carb count per shell and the impact on BG.
I found a brand at a regional store (see "Taco freaks" post in carb and calories if interested) that has only 6.5g per corn tortilla, next best was 11 PER and 2 of them don't hit as hard as 1 of the 11g ones .. must be a difference in the manufacturing or local corn (shrug)