[sugarfoot]

I would usually lurk first but I'm pretty desperate for some help here, so I'm jumping in with both feet and a big splash.

My mom has diabetes. She is 77 and was first diagnosed in her 40's. A couple of years ago her endocrinologist told her that she really felt like she was a type 1 instead of 2 as originally thought.

I have never totally understood about diabetes. My mom is a retired nurse and has always been able to take care of her situation without any thought from me. But for the past two years she's been out of control basically. The doctor calls her a brittle diabetic. She has diabetic retinopathy now.

She has been looking after my dad, who recently died. That took a lot out of her physically and emotionally. She's very independent and I STRESS independent. Would accept no help with him, and he wouldn't hear of it. He was not sick, just aging and apt to fall.

I have just found out that she is afraid to go to sleep at night. She will stay up all night and sleep during the day. She's scared because Dad had to call the paramedics three times, twice at night, once after she had just gotten up. I didn't find out until well after it happened. We have lived four hours from each other until recently. We moved her closer to us. Now she tells me about being scared to sleep.

She stayed with us while her house was being finished here and she was doing great with her numbers. Now that she has moved in by herself she's back to staying up all night.

The incident that prompted me to hunt this forum was this morning. I called she didn't answer. I went to her house and she was asleep. I woke her up. She didn't want to get up, said she didn't go to sleep until four in the morning. Her grandchildren are here visiting and so she made herself get up. Her sugar was 54. She was stumbly and quickly grabbed some candy. But then she started crying and told me she thought she had a stroke because she wasn't making any sense and couldn't think.

She's had this for years and I would think she would know it was because her sugar was so low and she was so tired. I was scared because I don't know stroke from anything and was trusting her judgment but I felt like it was from the low sugar.

I know I've rambled. I'm worried. I hope you can guide me to be able to help her. I'm going to go crazy myself if I don't get some help with what's happening with her. I don't want to hover over her, just help her. She's perfectly cognizant and able to take care of herself. She's just scared and I don't know how to help.

Thank you all so much.

[xMenace]

Welcome Sugar.

Try contacting your local Diabetic Educator - typically a nurse. Sounds like she's lost all confidence in her control. A big refresher is in order and maybe a change to a pump. Tell her this long timer has been very impressed with what a pump can do and with what having an onlinline resource such as this place can do. Don't be afraid to open up and help her along.

[Mama Belle]

[quote=sugarfoot;185103]
She's had this for years and I would think she would know it was because her sugar was so low and she was so tired. I was scared because I don't know stroke from anything and was trusting her judgment but I felt like it was from the low sugar.[quote]

Remember, when people are out of it from a low, reason doesn't enter the picture. They can be totally unable to think clearly about anything, which is why it is good that she has someone like you to help make sure she is okay. I definitely agree that you should talk to a diabetes educator with your mom to maybe find a way to honor her independence while making her also feel safe.

[Penny]

Sounds to me like your Mom has been through a lot of stressful situations lately. This would cause problems for younger, non diabetic people. I consider myself really independent, don't like people helping me at all, and I still sometimes get blindsided by a low. I got worse at it while I was dealing with a sick husband and some other stress in my family. It got better as things settled down. It wouldn't hurt to get Mom to talk to her doctor about how things are going. It's not easy getting older and being sick, she may just need more time.

[sugarfoot]

Thank you so much for your responses with your help and encouragement.

How do I go about finding a diabetic educator? Her endocrinologist is where she used to live and we haven't gotten a new one here yet. She's only been here a couple of months and that was finishing her house and moving.

She really lost faith in her endo because her situation stayed so bad and she's lost so much of her eyesight. But I always felt the stress of taking care of Dad was getting to her. If you knew how many times we went around about getting some help just so that she could get some peace every now and then. Her health has now gone downhill because of not taking care of herself the way she should have, although I know it was only because she was feeling helpless about it. She takes Humulog and Lantus and she takes it like she's supposed to, counts carbs, the whole bit. But it's my understanding that stress can cause problems and I know that's happened.

As I said when she stayed with us for that month her numbers were so extraordinary she was amazed. She was on a regular get up and eat right and then go to bed decent times. Now she's back to doing what she was doing because she's scared to sleep.

As I said, she's a retired nurse and is pretty cynical when it comes to what she feels can be done about her situation. I do feel like she thinks it's hopeless. I would love for her to go to a diabetic educator and I've spoken to her about the pump. She thinks she's too old for that. Sometimes there's no talking to her about it because she gets so upset I back away from speaking about it.

I would like to speak to an educator myself first and see if I can find ways to help her accept the help.

Again, I thank you so much for your help.

[cheryl]

Hi and Welcome,

First off How did the endo come to the conclusion that she was more type 1 then type 2, Type 2's can still take insulin, type 1's have antibodies which attacks cells and or no insulin function at all in pancreas. Type 2's can build a resistance to there own insulin so much they require insulin or, that there pancreas has declined making it's own insulin so much that they do eventually require insulin. Do you have any clue what kind of medication she is using for her diabetes, seems like maybe you should go to the next endo appointment with her so you can have a clear understanding of what is actually going on from a doctors point of view, and then he can explain the blood work and tests he has done. If your mother is on insulin of NPH, I can see why she is going hypo at night and all, this makes sense, How many shots a day is she on.....And the hypo incident we can come very unclear of what is going on the lower we get.....54 might not be really dangerous yet but the older we get like for instance my grandmother feels like passing out at anything lower than a 60, for me it is under 35, I assume as I get older the number will be higher eventually. I am so sorry that you are going thru this and a diabetes educator will help you and her tremedously......good luck

Cheryl

[sugarfoot]

I don't understand the NPH.

I know she takes the long acting insulin twice a day. She takes the other as needed for the carbs she eats. When she was here with us, she was most of the time only taking the long acting at night because her sugar was so good when she went to bed and she knew the other would bring it too low even though she had eaten what she had eaten for supper.

I don't really understand why the doctor decided she was type 1 except that she can't seem to get it under control no matter how good she eats or takes her meds. She even records the time of day and what the level is for the doctor.

I do plan on going to the new endo with her. Up there she wouldn't even tell me when her appointments were. She again, is very independent. Now that she is feeling dependent she is getting pretty upset. She has accepted that she is needing some help, but it's coming slow with her.

She is so scared she gonna go low at night that she's scared to sleep. She will actually eat candy right before she goes to bed just to make sure it doesn't drop. And she's sleepy all the time. She says she could just sleep all the time but she just won't let herself. Even when her sugar is normal or not high.

Maybe it is an age thing because the 50's is when she gets really out of it. I've never seen her that shaky before. Usually if I saw it low it was in the eighties and she says that's too low really for her, but not enough to make her shaky or anything.

If she wakes at night sweating, she'll realize and get up and take something. But apparently the couple of times my dad had to call the EMTs he couldn't even wake her up. I even go with candy and glucose tablets in my purse just in case she's with me and something happens.

She doesn't test as much as the doctor wants her to because although the doctor wrote a script for the strips, the insurance says there's no way they're paying for that many. I think it's ten times a day if I'm not mistaken. I've offered to buy them and bought them anyway, but she just gets upset when I do that, that I'm trying to run her life. And we have a great relationship and there's no way I'm trying to do that.

She doesn't have a death wish, she's just feeling helpless and hopeless.

How do I go about finding a diabetic educator?

[Dan Gato]

Sugarfoot, Welcome !

You should be commended for what you're doing for her. I admire you.
Don't give up. keep posting here, you'll get some advice from experienced people.

How about getting friends to keep visiting her. or get her to participate in a local support group. you may want to go with her, if your time allows.

Or you may contract somebody, a nurse, to make house calls & report back to you.

[cheryl]

NPH is actually the name of that insulin long acting but she could be on anything long acting it is just I know that the one I metioned peaks and make you low and is harder to get sugars stable with it.....I was just wondering what she is on because I know from switching from NPH to Lantus I did so much better.....just a thought I hope all goes well. I also would call the local hospitals and ask if they have diabetes classes and all.....

[xMenace]

Your family doctor hor her endo would know, call the diabetes association, call the hospital, call another diabetic, check the phone book.

There's no pat answer with health care so varied. Where do u live?

[sugarfoot]

She is on Humulog and Lantus. I don't know how much she takes.


I will call the hospital tomorrow and see if they can guide me to a diabetic educator or maybe some classes. I guess I should have thought of that myself, but I just didn't.