Would like to learn more

Cielo · #1 (**permalink**) 02-18-2005, 01:55 PM

Hello, I have a sister who has diabetes and would like to know more about living with it. I have asked her to walk me thru all that she has had to learn and live with and it is overwhelming. I can only imagine what she goes thru. I would like to be able to support her and be there for her. What do you recommend, do you have any suggestions? What is the best way for me to be there for her. She often says that nobody understands but her and that we would all kill ourselves after a day in her shoes. Please help me understand. I really want to.

duck · #2 (**permalink**) 02-18-2005, 02:47 PM

There are 10 million diabetics in the USA alone, and as far as I know the vast majority of us are not killing ourselves, even though we are in her shoes everyday, day in, day out.

My advice? Tell her to join here. We're supportive, we've been through it all, and we issue tough love when necessary.

How can you help her? Read up on the disease. I remember when I was diagnosed my mother was the hardest person to cope with my illness--I don't know if it's because she is Korean and it's a cultural thing or what, but she was in denial. Then one of her friends told her that there were indeed books written in Korean about diabetes, and she picked up a few. That made my life better, though a couple times I had to suffer through some bean-paste soup that one of the books said helped to regulate sugar!

And ask her what she wants from you as far as support. My wife NEVER says to me "should you be eating that?" She lets me babble for hours about my disease, my concerns, etc. She lets me spend an exobitant amount of time here on this forum.

Tell her to be honest, ask her what annoys her about this disease, about other people and this disease, etc. And this is one of those diseases that having a "support group" makes things better--When I have diabetic friends around it makes things easier.

good luck!

MegaGirl42 · #3 (**permalink**) 02-18-2005, 05:08 PM

Hello Cielo,
I agree with Duck! You need to ask her what she wants from you and read what you can about this disease. I know in my case I wanted support from my family and friends. But they were not giving me the support I wanted. They would ask me stupid questions, make stupid comments and that would just make me mad. But I know they love me and care about me and that is want is most important to me. I think you should tell your sister that you love her and that you are there for her whenever she needs you. I also think Duck has a good idea that this is a great site for her to join. It would be good for the both of you. This site might be able to break the ice between you to and be able to open the communations. This is a wonderful site. There are tons of people here who can help and support you and your sister. We here at this site are open to listen to any questions and ever vent. Im really happy and proud that you are trying to help and support your sister. I wish my family were as concerned about me as you seam to be with your sister. Good luck!

am1977 · #4 (**permalink**) 02-18-2005, 05:31 PM

I'm with Duck and Mega, I think you have to ask her to be very specific in describing how she wants you to support her. Let's face it, no one will truly experience her experience with the disease, not even other people with diabetes. Each person's experience is unique to him or herself. (though, yes, people with diabetes can understand more fully and more closely).

Anyway, in my honest opinion, what I think would help her most is for her to know that you are there for her and that she has someone to lean on if she needs it. Also, educating yourself about diabetes. I have always believed knowledge is power. Plus, I think she would really appreciate you taking the initiative to learn something about what she goes through. I think it would really show how much you do care. (it's something I wish my family would do more)

I hope this helps. I think it's great that you want to learn more...this is a great site for that. I know we will try to help you with any questions you have

Good luck!

Cielo · #5 (**permalink**) 02-18-2005, 05:51 PM

Here goes a question. Does having diabetes cause moodiness/depression? I've seen a lot of that in her.

lgvincent · #6 (**permalink**) 02-18-2005, 07:24 PM

It looks to me like many diabetics suffer from depression. I became aware of mine about 3 years after I developed diabetes and it has grown more intense all along.

Moodiness can be caused by many factors but I know I become kind of short-tempered when my blood sugar is high and I act strangly when my blood sugar is low.

duck · #7 (**permalink**) 02-18-2005, 07:36 PM

Moody? Me? Nooooooo...

Just kidding...BUT I was much more moody before I went on the pump. As a matter of fact, my then-girlfriend now-wife watched a "pump propoganda" video with me from Minimed, and one guy who was pumping said his family was glad he began pumping because he became less moody...

My hunny looks at me and says "This thing can make you LESS moody? How long before you can start this thing?" She was VERY opposed to it prior...

Think about it this way: If your blood glucose level changed from "normal" at 70 to "high" at 300 in mere minutes, don't you think that would affect your mood? If any other bodily condition changed that fast, it would affect things, right? So that's another reason to get blood glucose levels under control.

But no pressure, work on what you need to work on, these things come in time, hopefully.

HeatherP · #8 (**permalink**) 02-19-2005, 09:29 AM

Welcome Cielo. All the advice before me is great. Your sister is very lucky to have someone else who is so eager to help in any way possible. As far as the moodiness goes, how long has she had Diabetes? Meaning, is she just now going through the trama of dx, or if she's had it for a while maybe she's going thru "burnout".

If you see her doing things that she's not supposed to be doing, I'd recommend you not lecture her - that'd be the fastest way to tick me off. Obviously some things are more dangerous than others and one should act accordingly, but if it's just a piece of cake or something try to take it in stride.

This is a great place for support and info. I'd encourage you to have her check us out. No matter how much you love her, you will never really know how it is to be saddled with this disease. Diabetes affects not only our physical selves, but our mental selves as well. It's not healthy to wallow in self pity, but everyone has the right to feel sorry for themselves once in a while

.

You'll find we're a friendly bunch with lots of knowledge to share, so I hope that you AND your sister will visit often and make some new friends!

HeatherP