[KaelebsMomma]

Hi Everyone )

I'm Pam and am a newbie here and totally and completely terrified. Here's the deal....

About 2 years ago, my doctor ran some blood tests and decided that I was borderline diabetic. At that time, she gave me a script for Metformin 500MG. The thing is, I freaked and started really watching what I was eating. I'm very overweight, so you can imagine what happened when I changed my eating habits and cut out all sodas. I lost a little over 100 pounds. It probably helped that my fiance was at the time in Iraq. I went back to the doctor and my levels were fine and she said NO MORE MEDS!! Yay....

Well, in April my fiance came home and we got married!! Since he's been home my "diet" has been whatever I felt like eating. I haven't gained any of the weight back, but sadly I am still overweight and I know that I need to lose even more weight. I guess I'm just comfortable. I don't feel ugly, because I'm heavy. At any rate, my husband just took a position in the D.C. area and until we find and house and can move, he's there and I'm here, which puts me under a lot of stress. I'm a very emotional person.

So about a month ago, every once in a while, I would get a funny feeling. It would pass quickly, but I happened to mention it to my husband. We decided to just watch it and see what happened since it was so infrequent. Wouldn't you know that the moment he left, it started happening way too often. I would feel woozy, nauseated, weak and just plain BAD!! Since my husband has recently started with the new position, our insurance hasn't kicked in. I'm crossing my fingers that it wont take long. In the meantime, I've done something that I'm sure everyone would advise against. Taking matters into my own hands.

I had an old monitoring kit that I busted out. I checked my sugar and WHOA...it was through the roof. It was in the upper 200's. One evening, it even went over 300. I panicked, completely. My step-dad is a really bad diabetic so my parents have been helping me through this as well. I've started taking the Metformin and my sugars are coming back down. I can feel the difference about 30 minutes after I've taken the pill and I've only been taking them for about 4 days now. So this is all new to me. I'm scared to death. I don't want to be put on insulin, but even with the Metformin, my sugars are normally anywhere from 180's to the 230's.

It's sucks that this happened at Thanksgiving to top everything off. I didn't eat any sweets at all and barely touched the yummiest fruit salad. The thing is, I'm terrified to eat!! I went out and bought a few things, but even still I've read contradicting information on what is good and bad for a diabetic to eat. So...I'm confused. And I'm under a great deal of stress, which I believe isn't helping me. Tonight I had a massive breakdown. I was hungry. My house isn't diabetic friendly. I'd bought some plain yogurt, which is DISGUSTING. Cottage cheese, which I'm not sure if I should eat. Apples and bananas, again...ummmm SUGAR. Oatmeal which I added cinnamon, no sweetner to and it was gross, so I added a smashed up banana to that this morning. I bought carrots, but them read that those were bad for me. Broccoli....and I tried to eat that and about gagged. I'm not used to not dipping my broccoli, but was too afraid to. Maybe I'm over-reacting. The bottom line is that I'm not educated on this topic and I just want to maintain my levels somewhat until I can get to the doctor. Even then, I'm terrified that I may need insulin shots. I just went and got several books to read, but haven't had the time just yet to start reading them. I need ideas for good foods, snack foods. Honestly, when I first tested and saw the levels, I freaked. I was on the phone crying to my husband, worried that I would go into a coma and die. This is how uneducated that I am about diabetes!!!! Obviously, I over-reacted. I just worry about this because I have small children to take care of and I'm 34 years old. I mean, I know what went wrong....I'm fat. But...WHAT WENT WRONG?

Before my husband left, other than the every once in a while thing that started about a month ago, I had no problems. Heck, we would at times go through a gallon of orange juice a day. I'm a big OJ fan, which I am aware I can't have now. So I'm wondering if that just built up and finally my body decided enough was enough. I just can't figure out what happened all of a sudden. It's like a switch flipped. This isn't just a lifestyle change like you would experience for a diet. This is a totally different way of eating.

Anyway, I think I've whined enough. And I thank you if you have managed to read this far.... ;O) I found this site and thought it might help to have some support. So...any advice would be appreciated.

[Subby]

Hi. I think everything you say is understandable. You're going through a really rough trot and have the signs of a major condition upon you. I also think that the only way to deal with diabetes is face on. There are two things I think you need to get right now. First, you shouldn't do it yourself. You need support, husband support, family support, friend support, community support. You've got some right here, but also you need people helping you in your life with you in person, if you can.

Second, you need to see a doctor, the best you can find, now, not later.

Fear of insulin and self recrimination are things that haunt you, understandably. They need not and should not. I can't give you neat answers as to why not, that I think will be useful to you - maybe others can. I see them as complex questions you need to look into and test yourself, only truly understanding why these may not realistic feelings, will truly change your perceptions, and your feelings. I don't think that's hard, but I do think you need to be in the process of questioning those issues and fears, yourself.

I do think facing things and getting the right help will lead you to a much happier and healthier you, and not facing them or struggling to control in the dark, is less likely to do so.

[ramon]

Hello Pam and welcome. You did the right thing by coming here and I promise that there are people here that will walk you through this and your life will be quite content in your new lifestyle that you HAVE to accept. You can stuff your face and bring your BS levels way down and still lose a few lbs. First thing is to relax, its not the end of your world but a beginning of a new and healthy life. There are folks here who's blood sugar levels doubled yours and in a matter of weeks they are stable. Im just a jr here and I too was terrorfied when a nurse told me its just a matter of time before I have to go on dialysis. To **** with that. Let some of the senior members of the forum guide you through this dilemma and all will be ok. I promise you. Check with us every day and don't give up.

[Grunch]

Originally Posted by KaelebsMomma

I don't want to be put on insulin, but even with the Metformin, my sugars are normally anywhere from 180's to the 230's.

Insulin is not a bad thing. The needles are very small and thin, you might practically not feel them. It can help you bring the blood sugars down very quickly at the beginning and give you great control.

Originally Posted by KaelebsMomma

I've read contradicting information on what is good and bad for a diabetic to eat.

Basically, you have a problem processing glucose so you should try to eat things that don't have much carbohydrates. The more carbs a food has the worst impact it will have on your blood sugar. It's good to include fat and protein on a meal because that slows down the absorption of carbs.

[KaelebsMomma]

Thanks a lot for the reply Subby. Thankfully, I do have support. My family and friends are about 30 miles away and are constantly checking up on me and offering their support. My husband is also very supportive, just not near. Unfortunately, this is the situation at the time and it can't be controlled. I really wish he were here. He has a calming effect on me like no other.

As far as getting to a doctor, I know how important that is. I'm hoping that our insurance kicks in quickly. They said it normally only takes a couple of weeks and if that's the case, it should be any day now. My doctor is going to send me for complete lab work and honestly, another $500 for that just makes me crazy when I know coverage is on the way.

I know that I need to be positive and not worry so much about the insulin. Whatever happens, happens....especially if it keeps me healthy and alive. Right now, I know I'm not very healthy. But goodness, just pricking my finger takes an act of God! I hate it. I have to sit and convince myself for about 2 minutes before I'll actually press the button!! I know, I know...BIG BABY!! So taking shots would be incredibly hard for me and I don't want to! I just want to control it with meds and by eating properly!

Originally Posted by Subby

Hi. I think everything you say is understandable. You're going through a really rough trot and have the signs of a major condition upon you. I also think that the only way to deal with diabetes is face on. There are two things I think you need to get right now. First, you shouldn't do it yourself. You need support, husband support, family support, friend support, community support. You've got some right here, but also you need people helping you in your life with you in person, if you can.

Second, you need to see a doctor, the best you can find, now, not later.

Fear of insulin and self recrimination are things that haunt you, understandably. They need not and should not. I can't give you neat answers as to why not, that I think will be useful to you - maybe others can. I see them as complex questions you need to look into and test yourself, only truly understanding why these may not realistic feelings, will truly change your perceptions, and your feelings. I don't think that's hard, but I do think you need to be in the process of questioning those issues and fears, yourself.

I do think facing things and getting the right help will lead you to a much happier and healthier you, and not facing them or struggling to control in the dark, is less likely to do so.

[KaelebsMomma]

Thank you Ramon. I really appreciate your kindness. It is scary. And I know in the long run, I will be better off. I never even considered dialysis. It makes me a little light headed thinking about that. I know I need to calm down, but right now, it's just all so unknown for me and it seems like the beginning of the end... I should stop being all doom and gloom!

Originally Posted by ramon

Hello Pam and welcome. You did the right thing by coming here and I promise that there are people here that will walk you through this and your life will be quite content in your new lifestyle that you HAVE to accept. You can stuff your face and bring your BS levels way down and still lose a few lbs. First thing is to relax, its not the end of your world but a beginning of a new and healthy life. There are folks here who's blood sugar levels doubled yours and in a matter of weeks they are stable. Im just a jr here and I too was terrorfied when a nurse told me its just a matter of time before I have to go on dialysis. To **** with that. Let some of the senior members of the forum guide you through this dilemma and all will be ok. I promise you. Check with us every day and don't give up.

[Subby]

Hey KaelebsMomma, that's great about the support. To make it clear, I wasn't saying you don't have it: just what I think you need right now. So your friends know that you are facing what is probably a major diagnosis of diabetes? If they are friends worth their salt, that's a good thing.

I hope you get to see that doctor really soon, too.

Originally Posted by KaelebsMomma

But goodness, just pricking my finger takes an act of God! I hate it. I have to sit and convince myself for about 2 minutes before I'll actually press the button!! I know, I know...BIG BABY!! So taking shots would be incredibly hard for me and I don't want to! I just want to control it with meds and by eating properly!

It's an understandable wish, though as Grunch says taking insulin is usually far, far less of an issue for most people than they predicted. No one here can say for sure if insulin really is on the books for you at the moment. You won't know until you see the doc, get onto a treatment plan, see how it goes, etc. I don't mean to give false hope or infer that I know, but my guess is that the doc is likely to consider options before insulin, strongly. You should also get a say, when it comes to treatment alternatives, in my opinion.

[ramon]

There's a good chance you don't need shots and there are meters on the market that are virtually pain free and FREE. your #s are not so astronomical that you cant bring them down until the insurance kicks in. Don't panic, its ok. Read the forum and you will be surprised.

[KaelebsMomma]

Hi Grunch. Thanks for the reply. My step dad is diabetic. He's on insulin. He wasn't for a long time, but has recently started again. His sugar was lower then mine the other evening and he needed a shot. His have been hurting for whatever reason. It makes me woozy just thinking about it. I'm not sure that I could administer them myself without fainting! I'm actually getting all worked up just thinking about it. Maybe it's time for bed. Time to get this off my mind for a few hours and relax.

Originally Posted by Grunch

Insulin is not a bad thing. The needles are very small and thin, you might practically not feel them. It can help you bring the blood sugars down very quickly at the beginning and give you great control.



Basically, you have a problem processing glucose so you should try to eat things that don't have much carbohydrates. The more carbs a food has the worst impact it will have on your blood sugar. It's good to include fat and protein on a meal because that slows down the absorption of carbs.

[Subby]

Originally Posted by KaelebsMomma

Hi Grunch. Thanks for the reply. My step dad is diabetic. He's on insulin. He wasn't for a long time, but has recently started again. His sugar was lower then mine the other evening and he needed a shot. His have been hurting for whatever reason. It makes me woozy just thinking about it. I'm not sure that I could administer them myself without fainting! I'm actually getting all worked up just thinking about it. Maybe it's time for bed. Time to get this off my mind for a few hours and relax.

Maybe it will help to know, that meds, exercise and diet can make a huge difference, and act as legitimate tactics for lowering blood sugar, as many type 2s who post here will attest very well. The fact your father's BG was lower than yours when he took insulin, doesn't mean at all that you therefore will need insulin.

[ShottleBop]

Go to Blood Sugar 101 (google it), and click on "How to Get Your Blood Sugars Under Control". Read that.

You can also read the "diabetic diet" chapters of Dr. Richard Bernstein's book, The Diabetes Solution online. Go here (google: "bernstein diabetes solution readitonline). Read Chapters 9 and 10: there's a list of foods to avoid for the time being, and a list of foods hat can be eaten without raising your BGs unduly. You may decide, after you see a doctor, to manage your diabetes differently, but this will help you manage until you have a chance to see a doctor.

[KaelebsMomma]

Hi Subby. I'm sorry if I seemed like I took what you said the wrong way. I didn't mean to come across that way. I guess I'm just a bit on edge. ) Please forgive me. My family, husband and best friend are awesome and I know that they will stand behind me and do whatever they can to help me through this. My mom has put up with me instant messaging her 100's of times over now, just to ask her if I can eat this or that. It's just scary for me to be labeled a diabetic!! Before this happened, we were hoping for a baby, but that may be way too risky now.

And no false hope was taken from what you said. I know how much of a pain I can be and I know that I'll argue with the doctor to allow me to try something before going on insulin. My step dad actually said that he didn't think I'd need the insulin. His sugar stays close to mine and that is with taking insulin. Without it, his would be really high. I remember when he was really bad the last time he was on insulin, which was about 10 years ago, his went so high he was in the hospital and near comatose, so that has stayed with me.

Originally Posted by Subby

Hey KaelebsMomma, that's great about the support. To make it clear, I wasn't saying you don't have it: just what I think you need right now. So your friends know that you are facing what is probably a major diagnosis of diabetes? If they are friends worth their salt, that's a good thing.

I hope you get to see that doctor really soon, too.



It's an understandable wish, though as Grunch says taking insulin is usually far, far less of an issue for most people than they predicted. No one here can say for sure if insulin really is on the books for you at the moment. You won't know until you see the doc, get onto a treatment plan, see how it goes, etc. I don't mean to give false hope or infer that I know, but my guess is that the doc is likely to consider options before insulin, strongly. You should also get a say, when it comes to treatment alternatives, in my opinion.

[Reba55]

Hi Pam!
Welcome to DF! You have already began taking a good step by joining this forum! All of us are in the "same boat" , so to speak. Ask questions and you will get answers!

I agree with the others, that you need to see a doctor as soon as you can. If you know what insurance company that your husband will have, call them to see when you will be covered. If you don't know, call your husbands' employer. They could probably tell you when it kicks in too.

Please don't panic about insulin. For one, you may not even be put on insulin. I am type 2, and I am on meds but not insulin. Even if you are put on insulin, it's really not as bad as you think. There are many people in this forum that would be happy to tell you about their experience with insulin, I'm sure.
Also....I was also scared to death to prick my finger, as your fingertip is so sensitive. I was told that I could prick the pad of my palm instead of my finger if I wanted to. The bottom right of my left hand is where I test, and it's not bad at all.

Carbs are not the friend of a diabetic, but you don't have to give up ALL carbs. It's just best to eat very small portions, if you eat any at all. You mentioned oat meal. I cannot eat it without my numbers going into orbit. Instead, for breakfast, I eat 2-3 eggs and some bacon or sausage. It really does get better over time, I promise.

You will get support here! Welcome!

[Subby]

Originally Posted by KaelebsMomma

Hi Subby. I'm sorry if I seemed like I took what you said the wrong way. I didn't mean to come across that way. I guess I'm just a bit on edge. ) Please forgive me.

No need, no offense or thinking that you took it, at any time. I've just learn't to double check or explain what I mean, if I think there's a chance it didn't come across the right way or seemed to infer something else, when it comes to forums.

Before this happened, we were hoping for a baby, but that may be way too risky now.

I think with control that you can achieve, there is a huge likelyhood of being able to have a safe and happy pregnancy. Sorry to keep disagreeing with you, I know that can be a little irritating whatever the circumstances ... I really am aware things are overwhelming and uncertain right now. But there is room for so much hope that things really will be ok, in the "really, really ok" sense.

I know how much of a pain I can be and I know that I'll argue with the doctor to allow me to try something before going on insulin.

This is great news, taking charge of your own treatment (if educated and involved) is one of the best attributes a diabetic can have, I think.

[KaelebsMomma]

Thanks Ramon. I really am feeling better. I hate that there is a forum for diabetes and that everyone here has it, but it's nice to find people who understand and can offer suggestions.

Originally Posted by ramon

There's a good chance you don't need shots and there are meters on the market that are virtually pain free and FREE. your #s are not so astronomical that you cant bring them down until the insurance kicks in. Don't panic, its ok. Read the forum and you will be surprised.