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jenet
06-02-2006, 04:36 PM
Hmmm... the forum is gently reminding me I haven't posted in a while, and suggesting I do so. My first thought was that there are a bunch of great and knowledgeable people already answering questions and helping others figure things out, and I don't see much value in my making more "me too" posts. Anything I could share, has already been posted more eloquently by the long-term pillars of this community. So, do I have any questions to post... not really. I've been living with this for 11+ years, I've got a well stocked library on diabetes, I've read through the archives here, I've got a good basic understanding of diabetes (not the detailed internal biological process level though) and what's involved in managing it.

I think I'm just really struggling with depression and frustration right now. Funny how those two seem to feed into each other. The more frustrated I get about not managing this better, the more depressed I get that maybe I never will. I was glad to start pumping in February, and that did solve one problem. I'm not having the monster lows I used to sleep through with Lantus almost every night around 1:00 AM (found by CGMS) with massive highs by 5:00 AM. Being able to have a variable basal rate has eliminated the horrible rebound headaches on wake-up. I definitely need less basal insulin at night than during the day.

However, as any number of people have wisely pointed out, a pump is not a magic wand. My latest A1C (8.8 three weeks ago) is better than what it was (9.4), but not even close to what it should be. I'm glad I got the Animas because increasing my overnight basal by .05 too much causes the lows again, but it seems like my insulin needs change from week to week, and sometimes from day to day.

My endo gave me some new daytime basal settings at the last visit, and for the first two weeks, I was still running high. Then the last few days, I have been low, low, and low again. The first week I was out-of-state for a family funeral (hubby's cousin, annual check-ups for sheriff's dept, healthy, active - heart attack @ 52). So then the next week, my inlaws came to visit. More stress - they didn't ask if this would be a good week (it wasn't), they just said we're coming up. Then this week, my monthly period started. (Sorry if that's TMI for all you guys.)

Wednesday, out of nowhere, I'm having lows (48, 43, etc.). Lows again Thursday and today. Same food, same sleep, same activity level - just less stress maybe? Stress seems to really drive my numbers up, but it seems there is something really stressful going on in my life, more often than not. Six deaths in the family in the last 10 months, including helping with hospice care for my step-mom, an unsettling office move, a job where the political realities shape the "correct" actions to take in resolving problems and your PC has to be on its last legs before it gets replaced. My endo and my CDE tell me I need to quit being so stressed and to take more insulin. I think this latest round of adjustments has put me back where I was on MDI, too much insulin and being unaware of lows. The only way to catch them is to test every half hour, which I just can't seem to remember to do. I get busy, and testing between meals goes out the window.

The only thing I can figure is to go low carb to minimize the effect of eating as a major factor that's possibly obscuring results of basal changes. Today, I went out and bought a carload of low-carb groceries. I am rereading my low-carb books (South Beach, Dr. B, etc.) for guidance on what to avoid (almost anything white - bread, potatos, rice; peas; corn).

Well, this was probably way too long, but it was hard to stop once I got started, so thanks for letting me vent.

j

Will
06-02-2006, 06:11 PM
I feel you

valc3
06-02-2006, 06:20 PM
It doesn't matter how often you post, you are a member of this family. We're here for you. Vent all you want.

gettingby
06-02-2006, 06:26 PM
I'm sorry that you have had to go through all of this. Feel free to vent/share anytime you want. If you just need someone to listen, PM me. I'm good at listening and I can give you references that will attest to this if needed. LOL.
Hang in there.

Carwy
06-02-2006, 07:14 PM
I'm good at listening and I can give you references that will attest to this if needed. LOL.
Hang in there.

Waiting. :hmmmm::flute:

am1977
06-02-2006, 09:22 PM
J-

We'rel here for you! Of course you can vent here :argh:- I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. God knows, I have :o.

I'm currently having my own problems with control and, yes, it's driving me crazy :banghead:, but I know that others here can relate and understand my experience and that does help :top:.

I hope that things improve for you!

Take care :flowers:

gettingby
06-02-2006, 09:33 PM
Waiting. :hmmmm::flute:
DON'T EVEN GO THERE !!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL.:D

jenet
06-03-2006, 12:58 PM
Sometimes I feel dumber than dirt when my BGs are bouncing off the ceiling, floors and walls. :hmmmm: It makes me crazy. I'm an intelligent adult - why is this so da*n hard to deal with?

Thanks for all the reassurance that I'm not alone, and for understanding that it's not always that simple. :)
j

kgm0612
06-05-2006, 07:44 AM
Hang in there, Jenet, and take things one day at a time!

Karen

Penny
06-05-2006, 08:36 AM
Sometimes I feel dumber than dirt when my BGs are bouncing off the ceiling, floors and walls. :hmmmm: It makes me crazy. I'm an intelligent adult - why is this so da*n hard to deal with?

Thanks for all the reassurance that I'm not alone, and for understanding that it's not always that simple. :)
j
Hi Jenet, I know this feeling. I used to think at my age, I should be able to figure anything out. Found out there are 20 something year olds on this forum that know more than I do. And I am happy to have their help.
I also thought my "me toos" weren't necessary, but after realizing how good I felt when someone recognized me or commented on something I said, other people would like it too. It feels good to be part of this family, and we like to hear from everyone. It's not much, but we could help you through all this stuff you are dealing with, I know the forum has helped me many times when I felt down.

sydneya
06-05-2006, 10:47 AM
Sometimes I feel dumber than dirt when my BGs are bouncing off the ceiling, floors and walls. :hmmmm: It makes me crazy. I'm an intelligent adult - why is this so da*n hard to deal with?

Thanks for all the reassurance that I'm not alone, and for understanding that it's not always that simple. :)
j

Our blood sugars going crazy certainly doesn't make us dumber than dirt. It's the disease that's dumber than dirt. Just when I think I've got it figured out I hit a different stage or something. It's da*n hard to control and deal with.

You've made it through many a challenge, you will make it through this one too. I do know what you mean: "It makes me cazy." Me, too.

Join us for a good vent any time. We need to hear others, as well as post our own. This forum keeps me away from the psycho ward.

Gangrel
06-05-2006, 10:52 AM
Sometimes I feel dumber than dirt when my BGs are bouncing off the ceiling, floors and walls. :hmmmm: It makes me crazy. I'm an intelligent adult - why is this so da*n hard to deal with?

Thanks for all the reassurance that I'm not alone, and for understanding that it's not always that simple. :)
j

I find the big D to be as complicated or as simple as you want. I've been blessed with pretty good control I assume, because I've never really had a long term period of wacky control. Just short stints.

I just try to deal with it and move on...... maybe my tiny little brain just can't figure out why I'm running so high one day vs,. another, but then again, maybe it helps me to forget and just move on. ;) Kinda like when I hit a bad golf shot.... just move onto the next one.... (which is usually bad too, but that's another story for another forum. ;) )

I do think depression is increased by diabetes, thru a bit of chicken and the egg syndrome. We get depressed because diabetes can have an effect on the seritonin levels in the brain..... which can then effect our sugar levels... which makes us more frustrated and depressed...... and on and on and on.

It's never easy. I've lived thru periods of my life where I just felt like ****, and periods where everything seemed pointless.... but you just have to keep on keepin' on as the song goes........

jrcskb
06-05-2006, 12:46 PM
I think you have summarized what I (and many others) also experience. I feel like a pin-ball on certain days...but others I am fine (with a pump, exercise, low-carb, etc.). The body does things that you cannot account for on some days/time periods. I myself have "worse" control than in the past on a pump, but I am working on it. Keep up the work, and never apologize for venting!

jenet
06-05-2006, 01:58 PM
Just a quick note to say I'm feeling better. The encouragement and support from you all helped me stick to my lower carb approach - not officially Very Low Carb, just lower than what it was. ;) My numbers are more stable and closer to target. I just have to remember - one day at a time, one meal at a time. :)

cheers,
j

Georgia
06-06-2006, 04:29 AM
Hey jenet, I am sorry to hear you have been going through a rough time, we have all been there. It sounds to me like you are on the right path and, like you are doing, just take one day at a time. You will get there! :)