Food Junky FJ

[intrust16]

Hello Everyone,
My first post.

I'am Marc aka intrust16.
45, M, 5'11", 288lbs, Diagnosed T2 in 2000.
Metformin 850g 3/day, no other drugs prescribed to control blood sugar.
Hyzaar, Zocor and Altace taking care of Cholesterol High blood pressure
Synthroid .250mg for tyroidal gland issues.
NOT in control of my food to the best I wished.
I don't take my sugar level readings. I avoid them.
Don't have a family doctor appointed but every 4-5 months I see an endocrinologist who tries her best with me but I feel so ashamed to tell her I have not progressed.

Symptoms...
1½ year ago, I started getting everyday pain on legs/feet.
It's been 2 month now and I have some pressure points (rapid but short) in the brain area taking the form of very short headache spasms around my head temporal lobe, back of the head near cerebellum, and near the ears usually where man wear side burns. I try to contract my lower jaw and it helps momentarily. I have experienced short acute pains in the arms and chest area but not to a point of regularity to be associated with certain disease. I get frequent extra systol (heart irregular beating, every form) wich I heard almost everyone has supposedly?!

Dieting... Nutrition
It's been a constant battle for me. I keep looking for food that will provide pleasure almost totally ignoring my health condition. After six years I still go for high sugar food content associated with fast foods and desert. I look for buffets where there is the "No End to Food intake But stomach pain" concept or "all you can eat". I have NOT evolved throught out my experience as a diabetes person.

Exercising...
I love doing tennis and I used to go to a group exercise class with mostly elderly citizens I found most time very friendly but I got out of it. I have trouble getting activity 1-2 times a week. I stay home instead.

Financial situation...
I'am very poor... The money I earn goes into food the majority of times. I have a low self esteem and I'am also scared to die suddenly at work. I know I have this huge potential but I seemed not to be able to find my place in this world.

Psychosociological impact...
I feel impaired. I have short moments of happyness when I don't feel any pain or concerns but I'am getting a little depressed every day. I try to compensate by buying goodies and feeling my stomach with instant pleasure foods. Yes the vicious circle.
I'am scared of sudden death. I go at bed at night praying that I wake up the next morning. I have anxiety with what I feel is going on inside my brain that is new to me. I can not seem to adapt easily to my body changes. I have isolated myself overtime from people that I love in fear of being judge and I don't like myself.

Right now at present time, I feel I'am on death row. I'am no longer planning ahead my life. I live it 24 hours at a time dealing with what will be my pain and my battle food for today.

I feel I have failed my life up until now. I would like to try and make it better before I leave this beautiful earth. So I would like to dedicate what's left of it helping others and researchers. I would feel better knowing that my life served some kind of purpose.

That is my testimony,

I'am Marc aka intrust16 and I'am a Food Junky FJ.

[scara]

Hey there,

Hang in there...

You mention that you have been, "totally ignoring your health condition". Well by posting here you are at least taking a step in the right direction. You seem to be very aware of your issues and I didn't hear a lot of excuses.... so it sounds like you are on the cusp of trying to get things together....??

I imagine you know most of what you ~~should~~ be doing, so now it's just down to getting it done and sadly no one can do it for you. BUT this forum can really help with advice and encouragement.

So, keep posting, start testing and take control of this thing. Every step and every bit of effort counts.

[am1977]

I'm sorry that you are having such a difficult time... :(. I know, dealing with this disease, or life in general, can be tough. Ok, that's a HUGE understatement. Please do not feel like you are alone feeling that way-you'd probably be surprised at how many have similar feelings.

From your post, you sound a little depressed. I know it's hard to know that from reading just one thing about you, but that's the impression I got. Have you ever thought about seeing a counselor or therapist? It might be a good thing for you. Sometimes examing the underlying issues can help you deal with the different things in your life, such as diabetes. It sounds like you ae somewhat in denial about the disease and until you come to terms with this, it's going to be hard to gain full control over it.

I hope I'm not fully off base about this. I'm just going on what I took away from your post. I'd also suggest visiting here often and posting. I think it's really helpful to share experiences, vent, or just chit chat with others who go through similar things :wink:.

Hang in there..

[kgm0612]

HI & Welcome Marc. Hang in there! Glad you found us. You'll receive encouragement and support from the great people on this board, so post often.

Karen

[KickStart101]

Hello Everyone,
My first post.
I'am Marc aka intrust16.
45, M, 5'11", 288lbs, Diagnosed T2 in 2000.
Metformin 850g 3/day, no other drugs prescribed to control blood sugar.
Hyzaar, Zocor and Altace taking care of Cholesterol High blood pressure
Synthroid .250mg for tyroidal gland issues.
NOT in control of my food to the best I wished.
I don't take my sugar level readings. I avoid them.
Don't have a family doctor appointed but every 4-5 months I see an endocrinologist who tries her best with me but I feel so ashamed to tell her I have not progressed.
Symptoms...
1½ year ago, I started getting everyday pain on legs/feet.
It's been 2 month now and I have some pressure points (rapid but short) in the brain area taking the form of very short headache spasms around my head temporal lobe, back of the head near cerebellum, and near the ears usually where man wear side burns. I try to contract my lower jaw and it helps momentarily. I have experienced short acute pains in the arms and chest area but not to a point of regularity to be associated with certain disease. I get frequent extra systol (heart irregular beating, every form) wich I heard almost everyone has supposedly?!
Dieting... Nutrition
It's been a constant battle for me. I keep looking for food that will provide pleasure almost totally ignoring my health condition. After six years I still go for high sugar food content associated with fast foods and desert. I look for buffets where there is the "No End to Food intake But stomach pain" concept or "all you can eat". I have NOT evolved throught out my experience as a diabetes person.
Exercising...
I love doing tennis and I used to go to a group exercise class with mostly elderly citizens I found most time very friendly but I got out of it. I have trouble getting activity 1-2 times a week. I stay home instead.
Financial situation...
I'am very poor... The money I earn goes into food the majority of times. I have a low self esteem and I'am also scared to die suddenly at work. I know I have this huge potential but I seemed not to be able to find my place in this world.
Psychosociological impact...
I feel impaired. I have short moments of happyness when I don't feel any pain or concerns but I'am getting a little depressed every day. I try to compensate by buying goodies and feeling my stomach with instant pleasure foods. Yes the vicious circle.
I'am scared of sudden death. I go at bed at night praying that I wake up the next morning. I have anxiety with what I feel is going on inside my brain that is new to me. I can not seem to adapt easily to my body changes. I have isolated myself overtime from people that I love in fear of being judge and I don't like myself.
Right now at present time, I feel I'am on death row. I'am no longer planning ahead my life. I live it 24 hours at a time dealing with what will be my pain and my battle food for today.
I feel I have failed my life up until now. I would like to try and make it better before I leave this beautiful earth. So I would like to dedicate what's left of it helping others and researchers. I would feel better knowing that my life served some kind of purpose.
That is my testimony,
I'am Marc aka intrust16 and I'am a Food Junky FJ.

Hi Marc. It's Good to meet You. I'm Carlie. I'm sorry to hear that
you are feeling so down about yourself. Most people have been
down there at one point or another in their lives, including myself.
I sure know it's not a good place to be, you just lose interest in
almost everything, life looks dreary and hopeless. But there is
always hope. I'm not a FJ but it sure sounds like a hard burden to
carry.

I must say that you have done an excellent job on your description.
I wouldn't have thought of putting all that useful information. You
must have done some work of precision in your time and or are a
meticulous Person. Great stuff.

It's Good that you are seeing your Endo every 4-5 months. Being
ashamed of saying or not saying or doing something is a burden also,
which hangs over us and makes us feel worse, day by day. You must
know that your Endo would be pleased with you to tell her the truth
and I'm sure that she would be happy to help you if you told her that
you are depressed and can't stop overeating the improper foods and
haven't been testing, etc. She may be able to help you out with strips
for testing, but you have to ask. There is always hope. I'm sure she
would be Happy to refer you to the right people who can help you. Do
you have a Social Worker to talk to?

We hope to hear from you soon to hear how you are getting along and
just to chat. Take Care. ;)

[Floss]

Hi there and welcome along.

Sorry to hear that you're feeling so down at the moment. I guess it can be a viscious circle - it's depressing having the big D and having the big D can make you depressed.

As the others have said, you have already taken the first step to change by joining this forum. It's a great place and I'm sure you'll find it a help and support.

Would it be possible to talk to your doctor, diabetic nurse or similar health professional? I'm sure they'll be able to help you start to sort things out :)

Good luck and hang in there - there are lots of good folks here to help :)