Diabetics AS parents

[June91]

I don't know about you, but I have issues now that I never thought I'd have to deal with during the first 12 years of "diabetic internship". I was told that having a baby within the next few years after I was dx'd (I was 19) would probably be the only chance I get! And it was fine with me, because I never wanted kids, not even much later in life.

I admit I never thought seriously enough about the added responsibility of raising a child, when keeping myself healthy was and still is a full-time job. And then SHE happened out of the blue when I was 31, and miracle of miracles, everything went fine even though I spent the nine months of pregnancy and gave birth in a country with no trained endocrinologist. (You heard right, an entire country!)

No regrets, don't get me wrong, it's just that I guess that we tend to be more realistic about our own mortality (or anyway the fact that the body is a fragile piece of equipment). I now keep thinking things like will I eventually become a burden to her, will I get to see her get married, will I get to be a grandma...

So does anybody else feel even more overwhelmed as a diabetic as opposed to a "regular" parent? I forgot to mention I'm also divorced and have no moral, financial or any kind of support from my ex.

[Keezheekoni]

I'm a mom of five and actually never really thought about my kids' futures in having to care for me. I guess because I've seen most of my family members who were/are diabetics be just fine when they got older...

I really believe that if I keep myself healthy and do the "right" thing for me, then I will be around for my kids for a long time. I do have a supportive family structure though, and I don't know how I'd be feeling if my husband decided to leave. :dontknow:

[Cinnabon]

I am right where U are right now and Im enjoying my daughter to the fullest. had her at 19 and would have loved to have had 1 more, but I have a lot more than Diabetes now. I do feel exactly like u at times, but she always tells me that My strength and courage makes me , her "HERO"!
Look up my latest posts about my recent problem with my sight.
Enjoy your child...
I feel like Diabetes will not stop me, on its own, yet my retinopathy, might. Other things that have occured, might also.

[Lex4153]

My doc told me to have kids no later than my early twenties . . . I think that's complete ****. I'm 22 and I'm nowhere near ready.

[Infosec]

June91 - You mentioned mortality. I never gave that much thought until I was diagnosed a few weeks ago, it hit me very hard!!!!!! I am not a parent, my wife and I do however have two dogs that are so spoiled they think they are kids. As of now, we don't plan to have kids...

I have a lot of respect for you single parents! I have a lot of days I feel overwhelmed and I am not even a parent!

Cinnabon - it is very clear that your daughter loves you very much, and by the way, you are a hero to a lot of people here!

[gettingby]

June91, I had my daughter at the age of 19. It was about 6 years after being diagnosed.
We all worry and fear our own mortality. Just take care of yourself and you can live almost as long as a non diabetic (if not longer). Don't worry about whether you will some day be a burden on her. Enjoy the time you have together and let what happens in the future, happen.

[am1977]

I am having a hard time with what your doctor told you :eviltongu. I think that plenty of Diabetics have children past their twenties and, ultimately, are okay in the long run... I am 28 and would like to have a child one day, but I know that right now would not be the right time for me. I think not only do you have to be physically ready to have and bring up a child, but I think you also have to reach a mental readiness as well. Otherwise, I think it's not the best situation on you or the child.

It's true that no one really knows what is in store for them in the future, but that's what makes enjoying and living each day fully so important. I know it sounds corny, but we really do need to make the most of each day we are given. Those fears you have seem pretty normal, but don't let them interfere with the time you do have with your daughter and loved ones. And, don't forget, with technology and new treatments and medical care becoming available every day, I think we will be seeing diabetics live longer, healthier, and happier lives... It's extremely possible that you will see your daughter go through all those life moments that you want to be there for if you continue to take care of yourself as best as possible.

Take care :ciao:

[Cinnabon]

I forgot to mention, I was told I was sterile by an Endo!!!!
13 years later, I DONT THINK SO!!!! LOL

[Fred&CharlesFan]

Worry not about tomorrow; today has enough challenges of it's own.
I am a father of two. I do not know if I will be hit by a car on my commute to work in 2 hrs, or if my end will come due to a failing heart after holding my daughter's son's son. I am OK with that; it is not in my hands.
What is in my hands is: -looking after my health; can't be a good parent and be hypoglycemic all the time!!
And teaching them to be excellent citizens in the world. Teach them about this condition, and they will delight to be able to help you; my son is the family's official pump extra-supplies bag carrier!
The added responsibilities of being a "diabetic" parent, I think, is not in the equation. The only thing I don't do with my children is participate WITH THEM in the ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT-PANCAKES-AND-MAPLE-SYRUP Fireman's fundraiser.
Love your children; they are blessings.

[June91]

My doc told me to have kids no later than my early twenties . . . I think that's complete ****. I'm 22 and I'm nowhere near ready.


Here's one reason why I know that is utter **** - she was born 12 years after I was dx'd and I wasn't even on the pump...

1583

:wavey:

[Cinnabon]

Beautiful !!!! You added just the right amount of Sugar!! LOL
She truly is beautiful....

I have a few "teen headaches" on my hands..

[June91]

Hey Cinnabon, you sneaky thing... You did your homework :- on time and now you've got yourself a friend that you can send to her room if she's too cheeky - how clever is that :congrats:

[Georgia]

Awww, they are both beautiful girls :)

[Keezheekoni]

So, we all had a daughter when we were 19? My first daughter is now 14, I guess you can tell how old I am now. LOL Here's my teen headache!
1586

[Mich]

I was 28 and 33 when my daughters were born. The first pregnancy was before I had a blood sugar meter, I had to go on guesswork. I had been diabetic for 16 years at that time. For the second daughter, I had a meter. Both pregnancies were surprises but went well--about the same as my friends who were non-diabetic and pregnant at the time. I kept my sugar as level and normal as possible. I took vitamins and avoided caffeine, catboxes and solvents...bla bla bla. Both girls were big babies, but are normal sized adults. Neither has diabetes.

After my second daughter, I had a big dose of worry about how long I would last--would I get to see her graduate, get married, etc. Just for reference, my non-diabetic friend was going through the same fears about her new baby. It all settled down when my hormones became normal. She's 25 now and my older daughter is 30. (I'm laughing at the "teenager"comments--thank goodness I'm past THAT!)

With today's methods of controlling diabetes, there is no reason to not expect a healthy pregnancy and long life. I encourage all of you who are hesitant to get that sugar leveled out and go for it unless there are other compelling reasons why you should not.

Mich

[Lynne1]

I had my first at 39 and my second at 41. Keeping your bgs in check is the most important thing for a healthy pregnancy!

[Mick]

Although I'm not a woman, and of course didn't give birth to my children, I've been diabetic for 41 years, since the age of 13, and a dad for 23 years. I worried a lot before adopting our kids, how long into their adulthood I might survive. We went ahead anyway--adopting the first one, an infant, in 1983, when I was 31 and had been diabetic for 17 years, and the second, a 4-year old, in 1994, when I was 42 and had been diabetic for 28 years. Five years after that, I had a heart attack, and the issue of my mortality came into rather clear focus--my daughter was only 16, and my son only 9. But I recovered, and my daughter graduated high school and then college. I'm teaching my son to drive this summer. My wife survived a serious battle with cancer 2 years ago, so I'm not about to die off and hope my wife survives--she's in remission for now, but we both fight day-by-day and take nothing for granted. I could die from diabetic complications, or live a long and healthy life, or get hit by a truck on the street tomorrow. Live the best you can today, and, as Ram Dass said, "Be Here Now." Our kids are the best reason we have for taking good care of ourselves, and for living a joyous life.

[camjen1]

Ok I guess I'm the odd ball and have to say I had my first at 17 years of age. Yikes I know!!

I had to grow up fast and on top of that I was diagnosed with diabetes soon after my son was born. Now 9 years later I'm by myself with 3 kids and diabetes just adds to the burden. I have to get my kids ready, get them off to school, help with homework, do my own homework, go to my classes and work almost fulltime. I never find the time to take care of myself and that is what really is depressing. BTW since we are showing off our kids, here's my youngest. She is the only one that is willing to pose for pictures so why not take advantage of it.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/camjen1/ebay5214-1.jpg

[Penny]

I worry about having complications and not having anyone to help take care of me. After having my first child at 19, I raised a large family. Now at almost 60, I am still taking care of people. I worry about not seeing my granddaughter safely raised, about having someone to look out for my grown daughter, that I take care of now. But even knowing all this, I would do it all over again. My children have brought me some heartache, but also more joy than I could put into words. My grandchildren were like the icing on the cake, I sure wouldn't have wanted to miss that. Even if I don't make it to see things taken care of, it is worth the time I had.

[Keezheekoni]

Sandi,

You're not an oddball. :) I had my firstborn 30 days after I turned 17. I was a good girl gone bad. :D But, I did graduate high school the year I got pregnant with him and went to college later. I have 5 kids, one who is 16, one who is 14, one who is 7, one who is 4 and one who is 2... actually the 7, 4 and 2 year-olds will be 8, 5 and 3 in the next month and a half. :)

Let's see if I can find a pic of all of them together...
1588
Left to right: My husband in the blue shirt, Shayna (the 4 year-old), Kaycee (the 7 year-old), PJ (the 2 year-old, on top of Chris), Chris (the 16 year-old) and Tania (the 14 year-old). :D I'm taking the picture, so you can't see me! LOL

[KickStart101]

Wow, what a bunch of Beautiful Kids you Guys/Gals have.
Even the 2 little one's whose faces are a bit blurry. You's
must all be so Proud of them and thrilled that you can share
them with the World. :proud: :congrats:

I was dxd. at age 3, had my Baby Boy(didn't know what an Endo
was 'til I was el preggo)at age 23 and my Baby Girl at age 27(got
fixed at the same time). Didn't get a meter 'til my Daughter was
3 yrs. Had to do the best I could with the Chemstrips while pregnant.

My Son had a fever seizure(I thought he was a Diabetic)at age
18 mths. Thankfully he isn't.

My Daughter started having seizures at 3 mths. old. Scared the
beejeebers outta me. Again I thought, Diabetes. NOT. Fever
seizures again. She had them, once a month. At age 3, we
couldn't get her fever down so we rushed her to the hospital.
They had to overdose her(their words)on 3 different drugs,
Phenobarbital, Diazipan(sp) and Lorizopan(sp), I think they were.
She was in that seizure for 1 hr. 50 mins. I remember when we went
to pick her up at CHEO. She was so little and cute and kind of stumbling
(I didn't know, she was still doped up)and she smiled at me and said, "Hi Mommy" like she was drunk. I thought, "OMG, she's retarded". Sorry, that was my thought.

They had done tons of tests on her and it turned out she was an Epileptic.
That was a surprise!! We have a couple of Folks with that condition in the Family, but hadn't considered that one. Anyways, she was put on a barbituate(Phenobarbital)until age 7, when the Dr. said, she can't learn much
while on that drug(thanks for telling us), so she put her on Tegretal and some
other drug. She Happily outgrew Epilepsy when she was 12 yrs. Then she got bad hives(:() so I had to paint most of her body with a paint brush and calamine lotion every night since the Hives covered most of her body. Her
Hives are much better now. I was told, none of this had anything to do with me being a Diabetic.

Anyways, so far they are fine(kow). Our Son Graduated from High School(won 2 awards in Chess tournaments)and College, volunteered for a few yrs. at the Shephards of Good Hope(while in High School)has been working for yrs.(a Happy tax payer)and recently got married. Our Daughter Graduated from High School,(won 4 medals in wrestling)(one award for Kindness yrs. ago),
has raised good amounts of money doing activities for charities including CDA, worked for 1 1/2 yrs., finished her first yr. of College and will be returning in the Fall. We wouldn't have missed a moment of their lives for anything, they've grown up to be caring, loving and responsible(usually)Adults.

Whether you have Kids is up to you, of course. If you are meant to have
Kids it will happen and you will experience the "feeling", if it is your choice
when the time is right. Best of Luck to you(and anyone else) whatever your choice may be.:)

[June91]

Thanks for the wise words, everyone!

My daughter got a little stopwatch toy from McDonald's the other day (plastic rectangle with screen, you get the idea, lol) and clipped it under her dress, proudly proclaiming that she's got a pump of her own now. My mom looked a bit unsure whether to cry or laugh, but I was rolling on the floor :biggrin:

[mark-TN]

Here is, Jake, our little bundle of trouble, I mean joy! :laugh:

http://216.77.188.54/coDataImages/p/Groups/193/193267/folders/246791/Thumbnails/1945509sc2006j1.jpg (http://216.77.188.54/coDataImages/p/Groups/193/193267/folders/246791/1945509sc2006j1.jpg)Click to Enlarge.
http://216.77.188.54/coDataImages/p/Groups/193/193267/folders/246791/Thumbnails/1945510sc2006jdeck1.jpg (http://216.77.188.54/coDataImages/p/Groups/193/193267/folders/246791/1945510sc2006jdeck1.jpg)Click to Enlarge.
http://216.77.188.54/coDataImages/p/Groups/193/193267/folders/246791/Thumbnails/1945511sc2006jglass.jpg (http://216.77.188.54/coDataImages/p/Groups/193/193267/folders/246791/1945511sc2006jglass.jpg)Click to Enlarge.


Mark

[christie]

i'm not sure if my input is what this thread is about but heres my 2 cents.i had my son when i was 27,after being told also that a baby was not possible and if it was slightly possible it was'nt advised.i had lost a baby prior to my son,which was really difficult.and my daughter was born when i was 30.so i being like some of the others are alone in raising my kids.do i worry about the future sure,i also feel guilty about having my son help me through the bad low times,but i know i'm a great mom,my kids are happy,healthy and over loved by a mom who just happens to be sick. and i hope i'm here to see grandkids.

[gettingby]

do i worry about the future sure,i also feel guilty about having my son help me through the bad low times,but i know i'm a great mom,my kids are happy,healthy and over loved by a mom who just happens to be sick. and i hope i'm here to see grandkids.
Christie, I think we all feel guilty about having to sometimes receive help from our kids. I do, too. The thing is that my daughter is almost 16 and she wouldn't have it any other way. As long as your kids are happy and healthy, that's all that matters.