End of Life

[csaved38]

How can you exercise when you don't feel like it. How can you just take meds and say well it will make you feel better later. Wasn't it at the beginning you didnt even know you had diabetes until they tested you and then soon after taking the meds you felt bad. Ever remember going to the doctor and saying. DOC, this is happening and he turns to you and he says. oh that is normal. well to you it isn't normal because you never had it in your life and he says it is normal. what if your blood sugar is normal for you ? what if being high has nothing to do with it and the meds is the ones who mess up your body so much that kills the organs in your body and then that is when you have trouble. what if ? the pills are making your blood sugar go high and low all the time that it just messes you up and you go into diabetic coma. or whatever.. HELP ME HERE.. what life does one have dealing with this disease.. I am asking begging for an answer. I feel like life is over. have to worry about what I eat. meds I take. the rest of my life. someone said it is better then having your body parts have to be taken off. are they 100% sure that if I don't take my meds that I will end up bad.......

[duck]

Sandy, how long ago were you diagnosed?

Listen to me: It can and will get better. Imagine this as a battle, and only now have you started to fight back. It may take a little while, but you can get back to a semblance of normalcy in your life.

Your current meds may not be right for you. Unfortunately for some, there is a curve at the beginning of treatment where different meds have to be tried out. Maybe Metformin isn't for you. Maybe you need another kind. Maybe eventually you can use diet alone to treat, maybe you'll need insulin. There are people here who are doing each of these things and doing it well enough to live a normal life. You can too.

[labob]

When I was diagnosed, my random glucose reading was over 1,000 mg/dl and my A1c was 13.4 (which means that my average glucose level for the previous 3 months was approximately 400 mg/dl). So no, it wasn't my experience that I felt worse after diagnosis or that I somehow felt that my life was over.

Let me tell you what it feels like to have glucose levels that high: I was exhausted all of the time. That was hard, because I work 10-14 hours a day. My life had been reduced to getting up, going to work, coming home, going to sleep, with no time or energy for anything else. Staying awake in the afternoons was a struggle. I was thirsty and needed to urinate all of the time (my memory is that in those final few weeks, I was hunting down a restroom every 45 minutes and peeing torrents). I had no semblance of a normal life because I was either nodding off or running to a toilet.

Being diagnosed was hard -- of course there was a sense of loss -- but the treatment that followed was also a great relief. The "loss" part for me was not that I suddenly could not eat foods that I love -- I actually eat more now than I did before, and it's of better quality -- but rather that I suddenly had to become very conscious of everything that I ate. I could no longer be an innocent eater. I have to make a judgment about everything that I eat now: how many carbs does this have? is this portion too large/too small? how will it interact with the other foods that I'm going to have? should I eat this type/quantity of food in light of my most recent glucose reading? These are complicated questions and decisions considering that before I was diagnosed, I was mainly concerned with whether I was in the mood for X or Y. The calculation is much more involved now, and for someone who is always on the run and never thought much about food, it's sometimes a pain.

But my gosh, the benefits of keeping your glucose levels under control. My energy level has improved a thousandfold. It's rare that I suffer a mid-afternoon sleep attack. I don't have to scope out the restrooms whenever I enter a new building. Keeping my glucose levels under control isn't some theoretical exercise that I hope will help me in the future -- it's helping me right now, and my life is dramatically better for it.

Duck is right -- it might take a while to get there. My glucose readings for the month or so after diagnosis were kind of awful (though not as bad as when I presented) -- it took a few weeks for them to settle down into an acceptable range. But with a lot of concentration and a willingness to experiment, they did come down, and I know that if I can keep this up, my life will be better for it. So much so that even if I knew that I were going to be hit by a bus next week, I'd still take my meds and keep watch over the foods I eat. My life is so much better for it on a day-to-day basis that it almost doesn't matter to me that it will probably help keep me alive for longer. (However, if I knew I were going to be hit by a bus next week, I'd probably pick up smoking again. I still kind of miss that.)

[Cyborg]

It's not the end of your life, but the end of a chapter in your life. Think of it as a new beginning and a new opportunity. It's possible to live happy, complication-free, long lives with this disease, but you need to take control. Good luck. :)

[gettingby]

Having diabetes is not the end of your life. Like Cyborg said, it's just the beginning of a new chapter in your life.
I have had diabetes for almost 22 years. It does get better and it does get easier. With our help and support you can get through this and you will get control over it. Don't let it control you.
Take care.

[Belinda]

Having diabetes is not the end of the world....don't let it control you but you control it. Educate yourself and help your doctor by telling him/her how things work for you.....you and you alone are the one that controls the diabetes.

[grace girl]

Having diabetes is not the end of the world....don't let it control you but you control it. Educate yourself and help your doctor by telling him/her how things work for you.....you and you alone are the one that controls the diabetes.

I agree with this completly. Also, I don't think it's uncommon to go through what's almost a grieving period at some point after diagnosis. It's such a major blow at the time. In my experience, I had to just grit my teeth and take control of it myself, and not let it control me. Hang in there. It does get better.

[DonnieD]

Hi csaved38,

I have no idea what it's like for you, there is a large part of the disease that is unique to the individual.

For me, being diagnosed early (at age 49) was like Ebenezer Scrooge being shown the future .... basically, if I didn't make changes, the likelihood is that I'd be affected adversly in the future. The choice was/is still mine.

Things could be alot worse .... In the past month, I know 2 coworkers, approximately my age, that have suffered a stroke and a brain tumor. I'm glad that I'm not in their shoes .... but we all get a different hand dealt to us.


We are adults, responsible for our own lives. It's a cost/benefit choice. Are you willing to "pay" now, with diet/excercise/medication, to increase probability of better quality of life, in the future. For me it is a relatively easy choice, but it's also something that I have to work at every day.

Good Luck to you ...

[Penny]

Csaved38, you are reminding me of a situation with a good friend of mine. She has severe migraines and some pretty bad arthritis. For a few days every few months, she becomes extremely depressed, and starts emailing me, saying life isn't worth living if she has to go through all that. I get very upset worrying about her frame of mind. I keep reminding her of what she has to live for, not the least of which is my friendship :dancing: and how much she would be missed if she wasn't around anymore. When she is feeling good, she is upset that she has made everyone worry so much about her. I had been bugging her for a long time to get some sort of help with the depression as I was afraid she would do something when she was so upset about "spending the rest of her life this way".
She finally got an antidepressant, and a little counseling, and it has been a long time since I had to worry about what she would do.
I am not saying this is what is causing you to feel so dejected about having diabetes, but I think depression is a pretty common thing with Diabetes. I think you could use some help handling your feeling about all this. It is not a bad thing to need help, or to ask. Please don't let this disease cause you anymore harm, it sounds like you have a family that needs you.

[Roy Gardiner]

How can you exercise when you don't feel like it. How can you just take meds and say well it will make you feel better later. Wasn't it at the beginning you didnt even know you had diabetes until they tested you and then soon after taking the meds you felt bad. Ever remember going to the doctor and saying. DOC, this is happening and he turns to you and he says. oh that is normal. well to you it isn't normal because you never had it in your life and he says it is normal. what if your blood sugar is normal for you ? what if being high has nothing to do with it and the meds is the ones who mess up your body so much that kills the organs in your body and then that is when you have trouble. what if ? the pills are making your blood sugar go high and low all the time that it just messes you up and you go into diabetic coma. or whatever.. HELP ME HERE.. what life does one have dealing with this disease.. I am asking begging for an answer. I feel like life is over. have to worry about what I eat. meds I take. the rest of my life. someone said it is better then having your body parts have to be taken off. are they 100% sure that if I don't take my meds that I will end up bad....... Wow. I could have written that.

I am on holiday, with my family whom I love, on Cape Cod where the weather is warm, not hot, nice and sunny. Yesterday I had a 'what's it all about?' day of being miserable. All day. My 2nd such day since being diagnosed 2 months ago. The words in your post ring bells deafeningly loudly!

IN MY OWN CASE (and no criticism of csaved38 or anyone else) this is simple self-indulgence. Being a crybaby in the face of serious but controllable problems. And indeed not that serious when others, as has been said, have cancers and similar life-terminating not just life-threatening illnesses.

It may help you (as it has helped me, we aren't alone!) to know that others become depressed, too.

[Stewpot]

Csaved38,

Its not the end of life but it is a challenge that's for sure.
Look on it as learning to drive, you've a whole new set of rules to learn and a bunch of unfamiliar controls to master and that's daunting. This may seem trite, but its not a bad analogue. Once you get the hang of it you just get in and drive. One day at a time to start.

I can promise you that the most difficult aspect will be deciding what set of rules to follow since there are at least two mainstream views on how to beat this - so you have a choice but if one doesn't work for you try another!

You need a good medic, you need some luck there. The rest is really down to you. Everything is possible and there is a lot of good advice and help from people who have been there on forums like this that will help you to take control.

You may find some meds don't agree with you but there are alternative your doctor will help you find what is right - and if you say what you are having problems with there will be people here that have been through the same and will tell you how they dealt with it.

One final thing - nobody dies of diabetes, only of complications which are entirely avoidable with proper management. I enjoy my diet now just as much as before dx. Its different (and more healthy) thats all.

Good luck in overcoming your obvious distress, once you have done that the rest you will find much easier.

Best wishes

:egg:

[darksheep]

Okay, it's not fair, but as my mother used to say, whoever told you live was gonna be fair?

When I was dx'd I was not upset. I really, really thought, hmmm...I can DO something about this.

Not like cancer or altzheimers. Those diseases you have no control over.

This I have some control over. I buy quality foods. No processed foods. No low fat junk. Eating processed "low fat", high carb food is what got me here in the first place. I eat fresh foods, organic, I try to buy from the local farmers market...the money I used to spend on fast food, prepackaged junk, I just buy smaller amounts of quality fresh food.

I enjoy life. Why are we here? To eat? To mark time?

Nope. I think we are here for a reason, and each of us needs to discover what it is. Maybe we (the diabetic team) are here to help others. Help others become healthy and stay healthy.

Anyhow, try to think outside your small box and focus on others. You may be surprised how much that helps you!

I'm climbing off my soapbox now!:ridinghor

[Tim_Roy]

A few things, first, try and lose the fatalism.

Secondly, while your body can and often WILL start to feel normal at whatever level of sugar you're at (then feel weird in the opposite way once you're "normal") that tends to wear off with time. High blood sugars are NOT NORMAL. And they WILL harm your body, rather severely. Eventually it'll kill you if you don't get your **** together and deal with it.

The most dangerous thing about type 2 diabetes is that people can and often do undertreat it. That kind of thing cost me my Uncle Al. Luckily my Dad (who was diagnosed a couple years back) seems to have learned from his older brother's experience and takes better care of his type 2 than I probably do my type 1.

Yeah, definitely talk to your doctor about trying different meds and/or dosages. There's TONS of meds for type 2 diabetes. If one isn't making you feel good, by all means try something different.

[lesley]

I think the main thing that really got me to admit what I had and deal with it, has been a long trip to get to where I wanted to be, was the prospect of having eye damage!! Every time I think that I can't be bothered any more, I think about that and get up and go again. I think you do have depressive periods with diabetes but you need to realise that the sun will shine again, and it is you (with the help of a good doctor, etc) who are responsible for controlling your diabetes.

I found that initially, getting the exercise was really difficult to do. Now I make sure that I do this at least four times a week, generally do a minimum of five days and I find that not only is it easier because it is now a habit, but it makes a major difference to my BG readings and I feel so much better, and have so much more energy.

This disease is no fun, and you do have some hard times ahead whilst you get it controlled, but you can do it, and you will feel much better for it!

You will find lots of support on this great forum.

HTH

[kgm0612]

Diabetes is a daily challenge. Some days are much better than others. What works one day does not necessarily work the next. You just need to hang in there and try your best.

Karen