any suggestions.

[giggs]

i, I need some advice.
My bf has type 1 and I have done everything in my power to understand diabetes, and to help change everything in our diet so that it will help him. I go out of my way and make every effort to make and buy food that will help him keep his sugar down and allow him to be able to eat more of that meal. Im trying to support him in everyway that I can and I these somewhat minor changes are a big step.
Yet Im frustrated. His mother doesn't make these changed for him nor does she bother to learn why it would be important. His dad is prediabetic and his little brother has gout (an old mans condition at age 23) and I would think she would welcome the changes that could be made. Yet she seems to belittle all the effort I make by saying "i just feed him whatever I make and hes fine" "don't worry about making other things for him". yet it seems when hes at her house hes either really high or on the low side. He doesn't see them much since they are 3 hours away, yet this nonchalant way of thinking is frustrating and it really hurts my feelings. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

[xMenace]

You'll never change her. You have to arm him. But please don't expect perfect sugars. It will never happen, and it will drive you crazy. Learn to deal with her meals the best you can; there will be many other challenging events.

I've been living with my mother's occaisionnal cooking my whole life. She really cares, and she's tried to change many times, but she just has to lay out a feast whenever company comes. Must be a generational thing. I've learned to say "no thank you." Usually I say it three times a visit.

He also has to have sharp carb counting skills - mashed potatos, squash with brown sugar, homemade bread, gravy with flour - mothers are insidious.

I recommend you help arm him the best you can, trust him, learn from each experience, and enjoy her company and attention while you still can.:tee:

[giggs]

and she's tried to change many times, but she just has to lay out a feast whenever company comes. Must be a generational thing. tee:

This is so true, Every time we go to see her she cooks and buys as if we are 10 people. And we are only 2, at times its very frustrating. But your right. he should know what to count and how to count it. And we should enjoy her as much as possible.

[Chris Graham]

Gout is not an old person's disease. Its genetic. My husband (32) has ocassional flare ups and they are very painful.

As far as your bf's mother goes...he needs to eat as best as he can with what she made, and cover it with the proper insulin count. It can be hard to cover home cook meals. Could you offer to bring a low-carb side dish?

[aeromarv]

My in-laws are just about the same way. Its not that they don't care, but they don't know much about diabetes and no one in their family (besides me and my wife's great-grandfather) has it. Honestly though, it's the diabetic's responsibility to take care of him/her self. When I eat way too much and run almost 300, I don't blame the all u can eat where I went for lunch, I blame myself for eating way too much and not counting my carbs correctly.

A previous post is right, you'll never change his mother. But if she cooks for 10 when you are only 2 people, nothing says you or he has to eat like you are 10 people!

The reality is with diabetes, the blood sugars will never be perfect. Since going on the pump, I haven't been any higher than 160, which is great for me. Except for the one lunch buffet where I obviously underestimated and was 270 a few hours later!

I don't know your BF's insulin regiment either, but it sounds like learning to count the carbs and bolus for what he's eating would help his control in this situation.

With today's treatment methodologies, a diabetic can truly eat just about anything they want. As long as we can account for what we are eating and balance it out with the correct bolus. In fact, with good basal control, we can even skip meals now with not many worries of lows!

If you look around, one of the published side effects of going to a bolus & basal regiment is weight gain. This is simply because we start to eat the less healthy foods just because we now can. And I can attest that its true!

[Stuboy]

If your boyfriend is on MDI, then it is really down to him to count for the food he's going to eat.

It's should be a matter of making everyone who cooks for you change the way they do things, ok, a little appreciation or consideration for the diabetic would be nice, but at the end of the day, it's really up to him to learn how to compensate for these situations...

It would be the same as when you go out for a meal, the chefs aren't going to change the way they prepare their dishes for the odd diabetic here and there... they will cook the meal as they always do. But you try to compensate for that by doing your best to estimate what's in the food and how much insulin to take for that. It's a challenge, but he'll get it in the end.

BTW, dont get me wrong, I think it's absolutly fantastic that you are doing everything you can to help him, by doing so you'll help yourself as well. It's always good to have someone who you know cares and will always be considerate for the condition. Dont change the way you are... but if I were you, i wouldn't try and change the way other people do things.