A bit worried

[sugarfree76]

Hi, guys and girls!!!
It has been a while.
In late August, my father passed away. He was 59 (would have been 60 in Nov)
I just hit 30 (dxed in 88) He was a type 1 as well. He had a boatload of problems.
I often stop and think, ''what lies ahead for us?''
Are there people out there who want to develop a cure...or is diabetes just seen as a money making machine?!!?

I don't want diabetes to be the reason why I die. I am now alone. I don't have a wife or even a gf. Is it bad of me to think that a woman would not see me as a good mate because I am diabetic.

I apologize for the rant. I just get worried sometimes.
thanks, Mike

[sweetcheeks]

no, there are plenty of people with mates, there are some idiot people out there that would get scared off, but if they are the ones that scare easily then you didnt need them anyway IMO

but you never know, you might fine a woman with people in her family with diabetes so it shouldnt scare them as easily as well.... just depends on the mate, if they love you for who you are not your disease then it shouldnt matter

[tanyatype1]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad -59 is waaaaaay to young. How was your dad's blood sugar control, in all honesty?

If a woman doesn't see you as a good mate because of your diabetes, then I wouldn't want HER as a mate! We're only human, and diseases can strike anyone at anytime. Diabetes doesn't define you as a person. Good luck in your search for love - you'll find Miss Right.:love:

[sugarfree76]

How was your dad's blood sugar control, in all honesty?

:

He didn't exactly take care of himself. He smoked for quit a long time. Had multiple heart attacks, amputations of toes, eye sight shot...etc

My blood pressure is up. I consulted with my doc and we decided that I should be on ACE inhibitor, which I stopped because I developed a bad cough.
Thanks for the condolences. I miss him terribly.

[lgvincent]

You have every justification for being worried. I'm sure there are many diabetics who don't have complications but there are quite a few that do. I only personally know three other diabetics. Of them, all three have had problems with their eyes, two have had heart problems, one has had heart surgery (and she's younger than I), two have had kidney transplants, and one has lost both legs. I've tried very hard to keep my blood sugar in line but I've got the protein in the kidneys and I have neuropathy. I'll bet I have heart disease, too.

[sugarfree76]

You have every justification for being worried. I'm sure there are many diabetics who don't have complications but there are quite a few that do. I only personally know three other diabetics. Of them, all three have had problems with their eyes, two have had heart problems, one has had heart surgery (and she's younger than I), two have had kidney transplants, and one has lost both legs. I've tried very hard to keep my blood sugar in line but I've got the protein in the kidneys and I have neuropathy. I'll bet I have heart disease, too.

I'll say a prayer for you.
I'm so dizzy with emotion right now....
grrr...:dontknow:
I almost friggin wanna cry

[tanyatype1]

I just started an ace inhibitor a couple months ago and so far no cough, but my doctor said that if I did develop a cough that they had different one's that we could try that don't have a cough as a side effect. Hmmmm. I can totally empathize with you - both my folks are gone too and I miss them very much. Life can definately be hard some days. But there are always good times to come.

[sugarfree76]

I just started an ace inhibitor a couple months ago and so far no cough, but my doctor said that if I did develop a cough that they had different one's that we could try that don't have a cough as a side effect. Hmmmm. I can totally empathize with you - both my folks are gone too and I miss them very much. Life can definately be hard some days. But there are always good times to come.

same here...both of them are gone.
I have a brother and sister, but both are married and with their own kids.

Life is fragile...and I just get so unsure of the future. Sorry to sound like a whiningyouknowwhat...

[BriOnH]

Hi, guys and girls!!!
It has been a while.
In late August, my father passed away. He was 59 (would have been 60 in Nov)
I just hit 30 (dxed in 88) He was a type 1 as well. He had a boatload of problems.
I often stop and think, ''what lies ahead for us?''
Are there people out there who want to develop a cure...or is diabetes just seen as a money making machine?!!?

I don't want diabetes to be the reason why I die. I am now alone. I don't have a wife or even a gf. Is it bad of me to think that a woman would not see me as a good mate because I am diabetic.

I apologize for the rant. I just get worried sometimes.
thanks, Mike
What did he pass from if I may ask? Diabetic complications?

There are both. People who want cures and people that just want us as cash cows. Even the cash cows want better therapies for us though as it will rake in more money. Cell therapy I believe will be here.

Depends on the girl, but diabetes has never been an issue for anyone I have dated.

I have many friends in real life with diabetes and they are ALL doing great. all with diabetes > 25 years. Kinda makes me a bit jealous as they show NO signs of wear and tear at all and none are on ace inhibitors. Only one is on a pump.

Worrying about the future is easy to do. Try to take as best care as you can in the here and now and the future should be bright.

Terribly sorry for the loss of your father.

[blue_eyed_devil]

not silly, I felt the same way about getting a guy... but did in the end!

I think most people have felt that way, I know I don't want it too kill me either... I'm a bit weird thought, cause I actually don't want a cure, I want to prove I can do it... I do understand why people do want one though...!

and I'm sorry to head about your father, hope you're doing ok :)

Keep thinking positive though, we all have the negitive thoughts at times, I guess that's part of the d.

[am1977]

Hey Mike...

Sorry to hear about your Dad... :( Losing someone is always tough.

I wanted to just comment about what you said about how your Diabetes might affect future relationships. I think you have to remember that you are MORE than just a Diabetic... you have interests, thoughts, beliefs, etc... Hopefully whoever you meet will see that and will care about all those things, not just that you have a chronic health condition

Yes, Diabetes doesn't make anything easier, but I don't think we should let it or think that it limits us in any part of our lives.

Hang in there.

[grace girl]

So sorry to hear about you're dad....I know that's hard.
I was already married when I was dx'ed with D, but at the time of dx I really felt like all of this would make me a burden on my husband and my kids....it was something I struggled with for quite some time, until I finally realized that I was the only one struggling with it....they all love me regardless of D.
You have to realize that having D isn't a reason not to do all the things you would do anyway, including finding a mate. As was said before, someone who truly loves you won't let that stop them! I seen people with far worse medical conditions and much less hope for a long life marry and enjoy life to the fullest. Never let D stop you from living life to the fullest...if anything, use as an excuse to do just that!

[Tricia452008]

Hi, guys and girls!!!
It has been a while.
In late August, my father passed away. He was 59 (would have been 60 in Nov)
I just hit 30 (dxed in 88) He was a type 1 as well. He had a boatload of problems.
I often stop and think, ''what lies ahead for us?''
Are there people out there who want to develop a cure...or is diabetes just seen as a money making machine?!!?

I don't want diabetes to be the reason why I die. I am now alone. I don't have a wife or even a gf. Is it bad of me to think that a woman would not see me as a good mate because I am diabetic.

I apologize for the rant. I just get worried sometimes.
thanks, Mike

I am sorry about your dad....and a woman should not see your as a bad mate just because your a diabetic....my fiance has not history of diabetes in his family and i had to educate him on everything...and now he even give me shots! he thinks nothing is wrong with me and i love that attitude...people should not care....

[Stuboy]

Sorry to hear about your Dad. Without causing upset or offense, i feel i should say that you should look at how your Dad was and make sure you look after yourself, it's probably the closest experience you can have of what can and will happen if you dont look after your diabetes, my grandad was the same...

On the girlfriend front... dont worry, there are PLENTY of people out there who are intelligent and caring enough to know that they wont "catch" diabetes and wont see it as an obsticle. It shouldn't be. Try not to LET IT get in the way of any potential relationship. I think if you take it in your stride when it comes to dating, a potential partner will be less hesitant to give it a go. Does that make any sense? lol

[Mick]

Sorry about your dad--he was barely older than me, wow... I've been type 1 for 41 years, in good control and good health--diabetes itself seems not to kill us, it's poorly controlled diabetes that does. As for girlfriends--It's not impossible to develop a lasting relationship as a diabetic male. I've been married for 33 years to my high school sweetheart. She never gave it a thought, we'd been friends since the time I was dx'ed at age 13. Her parents, however, were entirely another matter. They felt I was very poor marriage material, and they were totally against her marrying me. They threatened her, bribed her and then cut her off to try and split us up. We ended up eloping at age 22, to heck with parents, and they finally came aboard years later. We showed them, however, by my staying not only alive, but healthy, being a good provider, good husband and good father. I've outlived them now, and our own kids are grown. I think many of us diabetic men can be somewhat extra-sensitive about a lot of things, including our "prospects", but keep being positive and just look at the good around you--although the thorns adorn the rose first, they ultimately give way to the blossom.

Michael

[tanyatype1]

Sorry about your dad--he was barely older than me, wow... I've been type 1 for 41 years, in good control and good health--diabetes itself seems not to kill us, it's poorly controlled diabetes that does. As for girlfriends--It's not impossible to develop a lasting relationship as a diabetic male. I've been married for 33 years to my high school sweetheart. She never gave it a thought, we'd been friends since the time I was dx'ed at age 13. Her parents, however, were entirely another matter. They felt I was very poor marriage material, and they were totally against her marrying me. They threatened her, bribed her and then cut her off to try and split us up. We ended up eloping at age 22, to heck with parents, and they finally came aboard years later. We showed them, however, by my staying not only alive, but healthy, being a good provider, good husband and good father. I've outlived them now, and our own kids are grown. I think many of us diabetic men can be somewhat extra-sensitive about a lot of things, including our "prospects", but keep being positive and just look at the good around you--although the thorns adorn the rose first, they ultimately give way to the blossom.

Michael

I love this! So romantic and happy-ever-afterish! Awesome.

[DeusXM]

I don't want diabetes to be the reason why I die. I am now alone. I don't have a wife or even a gf. Is it bad of me to think that a woman would not see me as a good mate because I am diabetic.

Chill there mate, just because you're thirty and don't have a significant other at the moment is no reason to start worrying that diabetes is impairing your ability to find one.

Having just had a little bit of clarity following an unpleasant romantic situation, allow me to offer the following advice:

Women won't care if you're diabetic or not - unless you care too much about it. If you worry all the time about having diabetes and have a bleak view of the future, then yes, women won't be interested in you. But that's nothing to do with having diabetes, that's just a by-product. Which means it's treatable and you can eliminate it.

What you have to do is minimise the impact diabetes has on your life. The best compliment you can ever get as a person with diabetes is when someone says 'God, I keep forgetting you're diabetic'. I get this a lot. The reason I get this a lot is because whilst obviously diabetes is a big deal, I do a major PR job which makes it look easier to the people around me. I do everything (and more, actually) that everyone else in my peer group does so when it comes down to it, the only real difference between me and anyone else is that I'm aware of my BG levels.

Therefore when it comes to dealing with women, it's not an issue. Whilst women will always be able to cut you down and hit you right where it hurts (because we're guys, that's why), they'll only do it if let them and give them the opportunity to do so. I know that sounds misogynistic (for the record, I'm not anti-women at all - far from it!) but it's just one of the basic rules that are there. If you like, look at it from a totally abstract, Darwinian point of view. I'm assuming you're doing this already, since you're worrying about diabetes in the context of relationships - presumably because it makes you 'lesser' genetic stock. If you don't let diabetes affect you, then no-one else can see that you're 'lesser'. Finding women is all about show - that's why when guys talk to women they'll expand their shoulders, walk with their legs wider apart, square up to other guys. It's all about showing off that you're the alpha, the genetic 'best', and the dirty little secret is that everyone unconsciously knows it's all just show. The real trick is making sure you've got something to offer once the show's over.

So take the bull by the horns. Square up to your diabetes and fight it. When you've won that fight (or, more precisely, made sure you're always keeping the upper hand), you'll feel much more confident and self-assured. If you think you're the best - no, better, know you're the best - you can then convince everyone else of that too. And then you'll find a woman who really does want to be with you because of 'who' you are, and won't be hung up at all on 'what' you are.

If all else fails, remember this.

You're not a diabetic; you're a person with diabetes. That means YOU come first, not your condition. Trust me, if you remember that, it'll help you more than you can imagine.

[sugarfree76]

^^^^ to everyone; thank you!
Although my father ultimately died of complications due to diabetes, he never once complained. Not once. He would always greet people with a smile and say ''happy day''. To him, every day truly was a happy day.

Bless you all!
I love this forum

Michael/Mike
8 )

[duck]

That's great about your dad; I'll have to learn to try and be more like him in that regard.

[am1977]

^^^^ to everyone; thank you!
Although my father ultimately died of complications due to diabetes, he never once complained. Not once. He would always greet people with a smile and say ''happy day''. To him, every day truly was a happy day.

Bless you all!
I love this forum

Michael/Mike
8 )

Your dad sounds like he really appreciated each day :top:... that's an awesome attitude and very inspiring :thumbsup:

Thanks for sharing that!:burnout:

[andypoo]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your father, I am lucky enough to still have my father and mother,although they are in fragile health,I cherish every moment I can have with them. I love this forum,too! You guys on here are truly exceptional men. I would be proud to have any one of you as a friend . Any girl who's got any sense can see this too. You younger single gals here, keep your eyes open for the single guys here,they would be a catch, for sure. I would be proud to have any one of these guys for a son. Although I have a wonderful son and soon to be son-in-law,I am still very proud of you men on here! Not to shun you girls at all,because you are obviously highly intelligent ,strong women,I would be proud to call you a daughter,sister,friend any day!

[MJM]

Hi Sugarfree, I too am sorry to hear about your father. I lost my own (not a diabetic) at the same age and my mother (not a diabetic) when I was 6. So I can see what you are going through. All we can do is try our best and do what's right as much as possible. I think if you can do that you will have less problems than someone who abuses his/her care. So you can't judge what's going to happen you in the future but you can do everything possible to reduce the risks of things bad happening by strictly adhering to good guidelines and taking an appropriate amount of exercise. Grab life by the scruff of the neck and make things happen. If you don't do that then who can you blame?. I wish you well my friend and hope things go your way.