Do they really understand or are they just nodding in agreement??

[karen]

......do you feel that any non-diabetic really knows or understands what it is like to be a diabetic with all that is involved, including the feelings of fluctuating bgs, or the unfairness of high bgs, when you did everythng right, etc. etc. etc.

I mean someone in the know like a endo, internist, CDE, or even close friend, significant other, or a parent? Do they really understand or feel our pain?

Just wondering,

Karen

[Emm]

Simple answer.. NO!

Endo knows a lot, and has a decent grip on it, but can't get the personal side of things if you know what I mean.
My doctor knows very little.
My family don't get it at all, tho they do try... Even my father, who is a diabetic himself, doesn't understand my way of doing things.
The only person who truly understands is my diabetic friend!
It takes a diabetic to understand.

[KCP]

Can i just say that that is so true! there really is no one else like a diabetic friend!
You can explain the condition until you are blue in the face, no one really understands it at all!!
My hubby still doesnt get that i can eat chocolate every now and then if i want consistantly good bg's.. But oh well.. :party:

[2high]

No no no...

I have a good friend who is D, and we have this chat fairly frequently... usually coz we have been *****ing abt a non-D saying *something* innapropriate!!! Her latest request is a licence for punching non-d's!!

[grace girl]

I don't think so, even the one's who really try.

I would give anything for an endo who was also diabetic....

[notme]

I don't think anyone can understand completely anyones frustration with ANY illness unless they have been there. I know it seems unfair that some of us constantly struggle with diabetes. I know I have my fair share of issues.

I am sure someone who is paraplegic or blind or has to endure chemotherapy, wishes people would understand what they endure daily.

[xMenace]

I believe my endo does. I try to talk a lot about D management, and he's always right on top of things. But I did catch him off guard with basal profiling. My GP talks a nice story, but his 6.9 A1C target doesn't do much for his credibility. I think my DE does, but I'm way ahead of her, so I don't go there much.

Non-D's are hopeless cases. Even D's I know are quite ignorant. I'm really glad all of you are here learning with me:banghead:

[jen_slc]

I would give anything for an endo who was also diabetic....I am SO SO thankful that my current endo is diabetic. Besides everyone on here, he's the only real tangible person in my life, albeit only every 3 months, who understands how finicky good control really can be. (I've been very lucky in my life to have had 2 diabetic endos). :love: My family tries to understand but I have to remind them that sometimes it's **** hard and I have the right to complain every once in a while!!!

[Emm]

Oh yehhh a Diabetic team would be great - everyone from the doc to the educator to the endo. Beaut :)

When I last saw my endo, his nurse took me out for some blood tests. She supposedly knew all about diabetes because she had to do injections and testing for a month. Hmm... It's great that they have to do that, but they don't really have to worry about their results, or what they eat, and it's all over so soon!

Hey KCP *waves* It's Emmie here from the everybody site :)

[JediSkipdogg]

Most just nod in agreement. Do you understand cancer fully when someone explains it? Do you understand what a hernia is? How about Myelodysplastic Syndrome? I doubt it and depending on how interested to learn, you may just shake your head and nod as well.

[Penny]

My doctor isn't diabetic, but he is very understanding, he doesn't act like he knows everything, and really listens to me. My husband on the other hand.....sometimes!!!! Today past lunchtime, I was hungry since I had not eaten anything because of bloodwork today. I made a salad, romaine, spinach, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, a little onion. I added low carb dressing, and a little shredded cheese, and since I was so hungry, sprinkled on bacon bits. Hubby said "No wonder you can't get your numbers down." I read the label to him...no carbs, no cholesterol, he said "That and the cheese can't be good for you." I tried to explain that the tomatoes were worse for my diabetes than the cheese and bacon bits. After all this time, he still doesn't get it most of the time. And the man who just had open heart surgery, still has 2 eggs every morning!

[KCP]

**KCP waves back!**:hello: Fancy meeting you here EMM!

[karen]

Most just nod in agreement. Do you understand cancer fully when someone explains it? Do you understand what a hernia is? How about Myelodysplastic Syndrome? I doubt it and depending on how interested to learn, you may just shake your head and nod as well.
Jedi,

I understand what you are trying to point out to me, but people that truly have been around diabetes alot, such as an endo, CDE, etc. and deal with this disease constantly, I don't even believe they understand the emotional connection to how it feels to go low, how much anxiety is connected with a simple walk around the block and hoping you don't drop, etc. etc. etc. My question was not about other diseases and how much worse it could be, but if people involved with this disease truly have a good understanding of what we go through or if it is all a numbers game to them.

[blue_eyed_devil]

No, I don't believe they do.

I actually believe that most medical professionals don't especially. They understand the mechanics sure, but how can they know what it feels like? I know for a fact my endo doesn't understand... He believes we should all be super thin whippits with perfect bgs, or he mock you...

Back on topic... It's like trying to explain childbirth to a man or a man trying to explain being kicked in the groin...

[Stuboy]

I dont think the majority of people really do understand. But those CLOSEST to us have a much better idea... esp. if you can feel like soul mates. Certainly I think Laura understands what hypo's feel like... she's had her fair share of those herself in the last 18 months or so.

I wonder if there are any diabetic diabetes nurses/specialists out there... they truely would understand!

[2high]

I dont think the majority of people really do understand. But those CLOSEST to us have a much better idea... esp. if you can feel like soul mates. Certainly I think Laura understands what hypo's feel like... she's had her fair share of those herself in the last 18 months or so.

I wonder if there are any diabetic diabetes nurses/specialists out there... they truely would understand!

My old DE was a t1. She was brilliant.

Sadly, she passed away a while ago from a severe nypo. But she really was a brilliant DE. Understanding, honest, and brutal if she had to be, but always the first one in with the support you needed.

RIP Liz...

[Georgia]

Nobody understands more than my D friend - we have great laughs about it sometimes :) The next nearest person is my dear hubby :king:

[princesslinda]

Speaking as someone who lived with a diabetic mother for 31 years and who was just diagnosed myself 8-31-06, I answer a resounding NO!!!!!!! Until you live 24 hrs a day having to think about everything you eat or drink, how much exercise you get, how many times you need to stick yourself, remembering to take your medication(s) at the proper time, keeping your stress levels down and you mood positive, you know nothing about diabetes.

When I was diagnosed, I thought about how my mom abused her body knowing she had diabetes and how I wouldn't be that way, never understanding how difficult life can be at times until it was ME who had to live it.

I'm not saying life sucks after diabetes.....diabetes just takes so much time...and i'm only T2, I can't imagine how much time all you T1's out there spend on things. However, I think diabetes makes you appreciate life more, as we have to actively LIVE every day.

[JediSkipdogg]

I'm not saying life sucks after diabetes.....diabetes just takes so much time...and i'm only T2, I can't imagine how much time all you T1's out there spend on things. However, I think diabetes makes you appreciate life more, as we have to actively LIVE every day.

I think age of diagnosis is the key factor there. I was diagnosed at 11 months old, therefore I have lived with it. Diabetes to me is as simple as walking or tying a shoe. It all comes natural.

But I know when I was in elementary school a friend of mine then was diagnosed with T1 and I had to greatly help him with it. He struggled so hard at first. I can't even imagine being diagnosed at a later age.

[ProudNanaof5]

I am a very lucky diabetic for my endo listens to me and if I should see something on this forum that might work better for me, I just tell her what I am trying. She never tells me not to do something. She has learned from me that someone can split their lantus dose and she has reccommended that to others now. She is one in a million just as this forum is one in a million. I must say that a non-diabetic just can't get the true picture. They mght try but unless they experience it for themselves it just can't happen. But I guess that is the way of anything. Just as notme noted..unless you endure what another is feeling you just can't get those same feelings. I get so frustrated with my famiy sometimes...Even tho they are with me most of the time, they just don't understand me or this %#*^ Disease. How each and every day is different. Nothing is constant with diabetes. :banghead: I'll get off my soapbox now...

[orpy]

I don't think that anyone who doesn't have it can truly relate (except for perhaps a parent of a child with diabetes, parents have a knack for taking on their own child's pain).

The other day my boyfriend (I hate that term because I'm 51 for goodness sakes!) tried to tell me that he knew what it was like because he lives with me. I told him, no, he just doesn't. I know this because he still says stuff to me like, "is the brown rice okay" or "I bought you whole wheat ravioli." Although these are kind gestures, it kind of frustrates me. There are times he's blamed my diabetes when I've disagreed with him (totally frustrating).

I don't really feel that the caretakers truly understand the frustration of diabetes. On being initially diagnosed, I was so scared and uneducated at that point that I just started basically starving myself and exercising every time I ate anything. As a result, I lost too much weight and ended up at 114 lbs. My endo basically implied that I was anorexic and recommended an eating-disorder therapist. I couldn't believe it! This was not an eating-disorder but rather a scared patient who didn't know what to do! (Ironically, that was the lowest I ever got my A1C; this was with diet and exercise only).

And although my primary physician is great, she is always saying, you're fine, even though my A1C isn't low enough really...I think that because I am thin she thinks I'm okay; this is far from the truth.

Anyway, a book that is really interesting and is written by a Type 1 diabetic who also has a Type 1 child, is called "Cheating Distiny, Living with Diabetes: America's Biggest Epidemic" by James Hirsch...I'm finding this to be fascinating. It's a mixture of his personal life and actual diabetes history and information. It's the first book that I've read that truly addresses the diabetic's dilemma. There are even parts where he tries to explain his pump to a policeman...

Here's a link to it at Amazon: Amazon.com: Cheating Destiny: Living With Diabetes, America's Biggest Epidemic: Books: James S. Hirsch (http://www.amazon.com/Cheating-Destiny-Diabetes-Americas-Epidemic/dp/0618514619/sr=8-1/qid=1168350496/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-3987560-0669612?ie=UTF8&s=books)
Keep in mind, this isn't for diabetes information about treating diabetes. It just made me realize that we have a long way to go in treating diabetes.

[kgm0612]

I think non-diabetics can sympathize with what we tell them we go through, but to actually understand.....NO! Other than my online diabetic friends, my younger brother fully understands because he's been a type 1 for 20 years.

But in all fairness.........how much do we really understand about other diseases that our friends or family have? My older sister has Crohn's......she takes 18 pills a day and has many more "bad" days than good. I have no clue as to what she's going through......I can only "sympathize" with her.

Karen

[Scratch]

Only those with some sort of chronic condition that intrudes on their thinking most all of the time can empathize. Anyone who is for the most part healthy can't really grasp it, what it's like to have that constant nagging presence, but as others have already mentioned in here, I think it's important to remember that it's very hard for any person, including us, to grasp what it is going on inside of any other person.

Mostly all I hope for is that the few times when I vent about something diabetes-related to another person about some frustration or anger I feel, that they say something like, "That's okay to feel that." I'm not using it as an excuse like I should feel angry or frustrated all the time, but there are going to be flashes of that from the change that happened to me and I never asked for getting near 22 years ago now.

At times I'm amazed I'm still alive, and very very very happy that I am alive. Then there are the moments of blackness, of suffocation, too. Let me have those as well.

[Injecto]

Nope, they don't. 'Nuff said.

[v3xtr0n]

I think that the reason most non-Diabetics dont really know or understand what it is like to be a Diabetic is becuase in my experience they tend to think that being Diabetic simply means that you can't eat sugar (which we all know is simply not true).

If only they realised that poorly controll Diabetes can lead to many different complications such as neuropathy, cardiovascular problems, amputations, loss of sight and the list goes on!!!

My parents dont fully get it especially when I try to explain that a potato can have varying carb counts depending on whether it is mashed, boiled or baked!

A couple of close mates understand my Diabetes (which keeps me in check when I nearly go off the rails with my diet), as they have another close friend who is Type 1 (I'm Type 2) and has had quite a few hypos recently including a couple of trips in an ambulance.

[princesslinda]

Seems we all agree that "no one understands a diabetic like another diabetic." I LOVE that quote!

Something i've noticed though is that whenever anyone hears you have diabetes, they feel really free to comment on everything they've ever "heard" or "saw" regarding diabetes. If someone tells me they have cancer, or Crohn's, or some other disease, I don't start off by telling them how to manage it. Seems like people think we of the "diabetic persuasion" don't have enough sense/diligence or whatever to manage it and we need help.

Just one, i'd like to tell someone I have diabetes and have them simply say "gosh i'm sorry, that must be challenging to manage," instead of all the other comments about the importance of weight loss or exercise or not eating sugar. I mean really, would you ask someone with lung cancer if they smoked? Oh well...guess my sensitive bone is showing today.

[Penny]

I did have cancer, and did get a few comments from people who "knew somebody who had that", like all cancers were the same. I guess I forgot about that as my diabetes will never go away, but so far the cancer has not reappeared.

[belyro]

You know, my hubby comes pretty close to "getting it". I mean, clearly he can't totally understand it without actually having it, but he really does get a lot of it.

I think the reason for that is that he really truly tries to get it. He's interested because it is such a big part of my life, but also because he's a big problem-solver, and he sees my diabetes management (or lack thereof when I'm having trouble) as a problem to solve. He really absorbs what I tell him, or what he reads, or what the doctor says, and often even brings up good points to me that I hadn't though of.

I think if he did all this but didn't live with me and see everything I go through with it (we talk about it a lot, so he's right on top of what's going on), he wouldn't get it. Likewise, if he lived with me and saw everything I went through but didn't make the effort to remember/understand, he wouldn't get it either.

That said, he and I both know that, unless you have it, you can never fully understand it.

[Tattoo azz]

All non D's can do is be there with support,like i can be with my mum who has MS.I can never understand what it's like,just be there on the end of the phone when she rings (she lives in Italy).Belyro you have a remarkable man in your hubby

[belyro]

Belyro you have a remarkable man in your hubby

I know. :love: *glow*

[HJCollins]

Hi, I totally agree. I am the only one in my familly with the disease and I dont know anybody else with the disease. My parents and boyfried are great, they do try their best but I get so frustrated cos I dont think that they really understand what its like living the disease which makes me feel alone and that I have to cope with it on my own!

[am1977]

Hi, I totally agree. I am the only one in my familly with the disease and I dont know anybody else with the disease. My parents and boyfried are great, they do try their best but I get so frustrated cos I dont think that they really understand what its like living the disease which makes me feel alone and that I have to cope with it on my own!

That sounds familiar... :whistling . Yeah, that is how I feel about my own family too. They try their best to support me and, yet, I still feel like they don't do/know enough or just don't understand.

It's frustrating :argh:, but, then again, how can they completely understand if they don't have the disease and deal with every aspect... I don't think it's possible.

[Eri's mom]

I'll admit that I don't understand how Eri is feeling at times when her bg's are so high, like as in HI...
I know when I was in the high 200's I felt odd, but it can't be like anything she feels when she's that high. Especially that 898 reading she had in the hospital and they couldn't believe she was NOT in DKA...I can't imagine how she felt.
I can understand the lows...but not in how she must feel w/ such big fluctuations.

[mg_2204]

......do you feel that any non-diabetic really knows or understands what it is like to be a diabetic with all that is involved, including the feelings of fluctuating bgs, or the unfairness of high bgs, when you did everythng right, etc. etc. etc.

I mean someone in the know like a endo, internist, CDE, or even close friend, significant other, or a parent? Do they really understand or feel our pain?

Just wondering,

Karen

My guess is ... no.

As it is impossible for me to know what it`s like for someone to have cancer. I haven`t gone through it nor experienced it myself. I can try to be understanding and imagine what it`s like but would I be able to truly understand what it`s like? No.

What I truly dislike (and hate at times) are the stupid people and their stupid comments. It`s not because they don`t have diabetes themselves. It`s because they suffer a far greater disease thant most of us : stupidity. I`d rather have diabetes if you ask me :)

[sweetcheeks]

Ok, I have a really really great hubby, he does try and understands most things about carb counting, and what my levels need to be, he knows that if im under 70 that i need help if i cant do it myself and he knows exactly what to do, however the only thing he cant get a gripp on is

that 15 grams of carbs = 1 carb choice lol (this was when i was trying to do the exchange list)

he says no 15 = 15 not 1

my mom is frankly sick of hearing me talk about my diabetes, so i dont call her as much now since she told me that about a week or two ago, she doesnt understand what i can eat either, she keeps wanting to feed me spagetti (she knows i love it) but ive had to scream at her before I CANT EAT IT MOM!

so no there is no NON D in the world who can understand fully