Diabetic Personality?

[REDLAN]

Hi everyone - my first thread I've started (",)

The last 3 days have been absolutely **** - caused by stress at work - I don't want to go into details because it would involve the use of a large number of swear words, suffice to say it's been pretty tough

I know diabetes and stress do not mix - I'm having a bit of problem keeping the BGs down - however I'm wondering whether in fact that people with type 1 have a stronger reaction to stress.

I'm wondering whether this leads to certain kinds of personality traits.

The reason I say this is because, I personally have a morbid fear of confrontations. I will do anything rather than confront someone. It can get so bad that I've actually had panic attacks.

I always thought that it was just me, but then a couple of years ago I met a colleague with type 1, and she also would do anything to avoid confrontation. In fact one time she drove while having a hypo rather then tell our manager that she couldn't drive. We used to talk about how alike we were, sometimes we even joked about it.

So what I'm thinking is that the reason I avoid confrontation is because confrontations are stressful, however with diabetes my adrenalin response is more extreme and takes longer to subside. The experience is very uncomfortable, so I "learn" to avoid confrontations because they are so stressful. And irony of ironies I now get stressed about getting stressed by a confrontation!

And having read through some of the forum responses about how people are saying that they avoid telling work about their diabetes, and they hide away when they're having a hypo. I'm wondering whether one of the reasons is that they dislike confrontation.

Obviously a case study of just 2 people is not proof of anything except that we were alike in one respect, but I wondered if others have a similar experience? Or just as importantly does this not affect you at all.

[Stuboy]

not sure about stress, but i get easily aggrevated when my bg is high...

[Simon]

Diabetes is a stressfukl business to start with so I find now that it takes less to push me over the edge as it were. Well meaning folk often have a way of adding to the stress by asking stupid questions like "Are you allowed that?" so some people avoid telling others to avoid that.

[notme]

I honestly don't believe that avoiding confrontation has much to do with diabetes. Am I being confrontational????

Everyone has two responses to stress, fright and flight. I think perhaps you and your friend fall into the flyer category. I don't think that is such a bad thing unless you find that you are avoiding situations that NEED attention. Honestly, I don't think anyone likes confrontation. It is uncomfortable and sometimes downright painful.

Diabetes can be stressful sometimes, but it doesn't run my life.

Hang in there!!!!

[DeusXM]

I'm the exact opposite. I thrive on confrontation to the point that most of the time it destroys me. Unfortunately I take the view that by having diabetes, if there is a god he's forsaken me a long time ago, and if there isn't, the world will always try to grind you down. Therefore the only option left is to try and take out everyone else with you.

I know it's not a smart view, I'm also aware that it's highly narcissistic. But that's who I am. Just because I am who I am doesn't mean I'm happy with that person; it just means I can't break free of being that person.

[laura_fairy_22]

there is one girl who is D and shes always late for lessons - i think attention seeking - trying to get people to feel sorry for her...
but shes also VERY VERY rude. dont know if thats just her or D getting on top of her, as I know she has poo control & is a drug user.

[princesslinda]

I don't think there is necessarily a "diabetic personality," but I think many of us are alike in that we are "controllers," maybe because that's how we have to be to live with this disease.

If you look at all of us who post on this forum, there's no true "diabetic personality" that surfaces, other than the personality that compels us to reach out from within our selves and and offer advice, compassion and friendship to one another....and that goes for you, too Deus...like it or not, you're a NICE guy!

[KCP]

I hate to say it deus, but thats so sad. Not sad nasty, but actually sad because as you said it is very narcisstic and kinda depressing knowing that people who feel the same way you do actually do feel this way. My best friend is exactly the same. Granted we're not as close as we used to be. You can only take so much Narcissm. (im not trying to be nasty! promise!!!!)

As for the confrontation; as someone said earleir: Fight or flight.
It is however, a highly known fact that the incidence of depression is higher in type one diabetics.. Food for thought?

[DeusXM]

You can only take so much Narcissm. (im not trying to be nasty! promise!!!!)

I know. Try living with it.

It is however, a highly known fact that the incidence of depression is higher in type one diabetics.. Food for thought?

Been munching on that particular food for some time now. For me it's a case of Lantus side-effects. Works as a mood amplifier, so when I'm good I'm on cloud 9, when I'm bad I'm a vicious little so-and-so. Promise ya when I'm back from Bangkok in 2 weeks I'll be a totally different person on here and realise even more than I do now that everything I've posted in this thread is simply an extension of that personality defect.

[Mick]

I DO believe that there are personality traits which (especially) childhood-onset diabetes encourages--or, more like it, demands: Perfectionism, obsessive-compulsiveness, need to be in control, etc. Especially for those of us who were diagnosed as small children back in the 1950s and 60s, certain personality traits became virtual survival tactics for us. I became a neat-freak, hoping to stay so organized I would never forget if I had or had not taken my shot--this was in the days before all the logging we do now. I became a clean-freak also, hoping to avoid infections, and a control-freak as well--control of food, of exercise and of... well, of everything, which seemed to keep me calm and feeling I had some chance at long-term survival. My avoidance of most confrontation (yep, I have that too...!) is not, I am certain, due to my diabetes, but to my birth-order--which is one of THE biggest predictors for certain personality traits. Middle children (such as myself) tend to be peace-makers. Oldest children tend to be confident, independent and strong leaders. Youngest children are often charming, people-oriented, stubborn, affectionate and attention-seeking, often born entertainers, with feelings of entitlement. Of course, these are generalizations, and parental personalities and parenting styles will have much to do with things as well.

Deus--I'm so sorry for your belief that, as you put it, "if there is a god he's forsaken me a long time ago." I had the exact opposite reaction to my diagnosis and near-death from diabetes over 40 years ago. I was raised atheist, with no faith or notion of god anywhere in the family, but upon my awakening from my 3-day coma, I felt the overwhelming presence of the Divine within--in my "soul" if you will, which was awakened and filled with Light during the coma. God (or whatever...) entered into my inner self and has not left--and that has caused me to be eternally optimistic, joyous, grateful and compassionate. It's nothing I can even vaguely explain rationally--I only know that, before diabetes (prior to age 12), I had no notion of soul, spirit, god or the divine--and after, I seemed to live in this bright radiance of calm peace and reassurance. It has sure helped to deal with stress, by the way!!

Michael

[blue_eyed_devil]

nope, i'm confrontational to the baddest. however stress does make me moody and causes my bgs to go crazy... i also have depression... but this is not weird as it runs very strongly in my family, it also screws with my diabetes management.

[tanyatype1]

I DO believe that there are personality traits which (especially) childhood-onset diabetes encourages--or, more like it, demands: Perfectionism, obsessive-compulsiveness, need to be in control, etc. Especially for those of us who were diagnosed as small children back in the 1950s and 60s, certain personality traits became virtual survival tactics for us. I became a neat-freak, hoping to stay so organized I would never forget if I had or had not taken my shot--this was in the days before all the logging we do now. I became a clean-freak also, hoping to avoid infections, and a control-freak as well--control of food, of exercise and of... well, of everything, which seemed to keep me calm and feeling I had some chance at long-term survival. My avoidance of most confrontation (yep, I have that too...!) is not, I am certain, due to my diabetes, but to my birth-order--which is one of THE biggest predictors for certain personality traits. Middle children (such as myself) tend to be peace-makers. Oldest children tend to be confident, independent and strong leaders. Youngest children are often charming, people-oriented, stubborn, affectionate and attention-seeking, often born entertainers, with feelings of entitlement. Of course, these are generalizations, and parental personalities and parenting styles will have much to do with things as well.

Deus--I'm so sorry for your belief that, as you put it, "if there is a god he's forsaken me a long time ago." I had the exact opposite reaction to my diagnosis and near-death from diabetes over 40 years ago. I was raised atheist, with no faith or notion of god anywhere in the family, but upon my awakening from my 3-day coma, I felt the overwhelming presence of the Divine within--in my "soul" if you will, which was awakened and filled with Light during the coma. God (or whatever...) entered into my inner self and has not left--and that has caused me to be eternally optimistic, joyous, grateful and compassionate. It's nothing I can even vaguely explain rationally--I only know that, before diabetes (prior to age 12), I had no notion of soul, spirit, god or the divine--and after, I seemed to live in this bright radiance of calm peace and reassurance. It has sure helped to deal with stress, by the way!!

Michael

Wow, Mick, that's awesome! I'm Christian, but I don't attend church anymore. (will again in the future) I think that your story is inspiring. Thanks for sharing it. I saw in you profile that you are a teacher - I think you'd be a fantastic teacher! (Enjoyed many of your posts.) Oh great, now I'm suddenly worried about my grammar and spelling! hahaha! Oh, by the way, I'm the youngest of 5.:)

[tanyatype1]

I'm the exact opposite. I thrive on confrontation to the point that most of the time it destroys me. Unfortunately I take the view that by having diabetes, if there is a god he's forsaken me a long time ago, and if there isn't, the world will always try to grind you down. Therefore the only option left is to try and take out everyone else with you.

I know it's not a smart view, I'm also aware that it's highly narcissistic. But that's who I am. Just because I am who I am doesn't mean I'm happy with that person; it just means I can't break free of being that person.

Hey Deus - Don't worry, I'm not feeling sorry for you, but I did feel sad when I read your post! You do have a lot going for you and remember that people are forever changing. The person that you are today, isn't necessarily the person that you'll always be. If you're not happy with who you are, you can take steps to change that right? And remember that nobody's perfect!

[Lethander]

I'm a crass sort myself, when it gets high, the world becomes my enemy, the telephone is my greatest foe though seems the mere ringing of it drives me over the edge. I hermit myself up and get edgy about even leavin ghte house, wether it be for food ro fun or any other reason, I too get a sort of panic attackor maybe even edging onto paranoia.....Major PITA!

And on Narcissm I Think C3PO summed it up well when he was walking thru the desert with R2 and stated "We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life. "

As Far as Compusiveness and control.. I have none of that, I have been in a few positions in the past where i have been in charge or management, I have not an thread of desire to control or command any longer.. creates too much stress I am far happier being a follower or off on my own out in no man's land

[Penny]

I have been accused of being non-confrontational, but it is not true. I have just learned to pick my battles. A few people have finally figured that out, and are not happy with me. I guess they figured they could treat me anyway they wanted, and I would still be there for them. I think Diabetes may have helped me learn to stand up for myself a little more. After my 2 "near death experiences", probably brought on my diabetes, I figured out maybe I needed to pick a few more battles than I used to. :) So maybe Diabetes has influenced my personality. I am generally the same person I used to be, just do not put up with all the "****" (for want of a bettter word) people try to dish out anymore.

[kidvid]

if there is a god he's forsaken me a long time ago, and if there isn't, the world will always try to grind you down.

Stress can be handled. I don't know goes into your constitution to help in this regard, but I must have it.

My brother passed away due to raging alcoholism about 12:30 AM on Halloween day. I spent Halloween night at his house trying to console his widow as she walked about his house wailing for a glass of vodka, and my brother, in that order.

At the funeral, as we were waiting for services to begin, my other brother sidled up next to me and asked "Do you believe in any of this stuff?" meaning the religious voodoo about to commence. I replied, "It's all just chemistry."
We had a few other choice comments about how staunch belief in one's religion was really freakin helping in Iraq as troops ordered in by our Born Again leader fought and died railing against Islam...but that's a topic for another board.

I think perhaps you can develop coping strategies to deal with stress. And maybe one of them is facing reality - there is no guy in white robes floating about in the clouds sending little people with wings down to earth to remind you to test, count the freakin carbs, and dose correctly.

IMHO

Joe

[princesslinda]

I really think think that there would have been no way I could have handled my diagnosis after watching all my mom went through, had it not been for the prayers and support of my friends and family. I'm not a regular church attender, but I do feel strongly that spirituality plays such an important part in dealing with stress/depression/disease and the general hassles of life. That being said, we all must find our own way of dealing with whatever life deals us. The spiritual aspect works best for me.

[Keezheekoni]

I'm a passive aggressive, I think... I don't think that I like confrontation, but I really do. If I don't get service that I'm paying for and think that I deserve, then I'll definitely be confrontational about it. Especially if I'm at a restaurant and they don't have their nutritional information available to customers (like the law says they have to...). I gave the manager at Denny's, the other night, ****. I made him get onto the internet and get the information for me for some of their new items. He was pissed, my food was cold...was it worth it, yes! You know why? Because I would have *way* over-bolused for what I ordered...ugh.

Did my diabetes make me this way? I don't know...it may have, when it comes to counting carbs and being on top of my health. For most other things, I do pick my battles.

[erich]

On confrontation,
One of my top rules in life both personal and in the work place, was given to me by my Psychotherapy professor:

The only time you confront someone is if you want to become closer to them.

[Penny]

I gave the manager at Denny's, the other night, ****. I made him get onto the internet and get the information for me for some of their new items. He was pissed, my food was cold...was it worth it, yes! [QUOTE=Rikki;181891]

That is one thing I will not do! :shot: I have too many restaurant employees tell me what they do when someone gives them a hard time. :vollkomme If my food is not right, or service bad, I might say something, but try to be nice enough about it that they insist on fixing it. One time I asked 2 times to have the salad dressing "on the side", then I just exaggerated my efforts to take some of the stuff off. The waitress saw, and was so apologetic, she took the salad away and brought it right, even though I protested that it wasn't necessary. But, at one time, I would have just ate the salad the way they brought it the first time. :bird:

[Keezheekoni]

I gave the manager at Denny's, the other night, ****. I made him get onto the internet and get the information for me for some of their new items. He was pissed, my food was cold...was it worth it, yes!

That is one thing I will not do! :shot: I have too many restaurant employees tell me what they do when someone gives them a hard time. :vollkomme If my food is not right, or service bad, I might say something, but try to be nice enough about it that they insist on fixing it. One time I asked 2 times to have the salad dressing "on the side", then I just exaggerated my efforts to take some of the stuff off. The waitress saw, and was so apologetic, she took the salad away and brought it right, even though I protested that it wasn't necessary. But, at one time, I would have just ate the salad the way they brought it the first time. :bird:

Ah, but you see, I order first, wait for the food to be served, then ask for the nutritional info...that's only if I don't already have it. Usually I do, so I don't need it from them. Plus, this particular Denny's knows me pretty well...it was just a new manager that night.

[tanyatype1]

I think that I'm a very nice person and I like to treat others, the way that I would like to be treated, but...... completely different story if someone turns aggressive towards me(or family or friends) or backs me into a corner. Then, look out!!:angel::evil:

[TenderVittleS]

Well to me diabetes is confrontational everyday. You have to confront the disease to take control of it, the better you have control of your diabetes other things are a lot easier to deal with. As long as the two parties agree at the end is what matters or agree to disagree. I hope you never have to go to court!

[Mister Q]

Have a long term situation like diabetes to cope with is going to make anyone angry sooner or later, throw into the mix medications with see-sawing BG levels and the lids bound to either - come off totally or fall in on you comletely.

I get quite bad tempered when high and have a sense of impending doom when low.

[karen]

That is so me Mister Q, bad tempered when high and sense of impending doom when low, also very emotional and tearful.

Wonder what life would be like to not have to deal with personalities that come out that we really have no control over.

Ahhhh the fluctuations of bgs!!!

[Jackets]

My mother mentions occasionally a pilot she knew who was negative on a daily basis "because he had to be. His profession required it because he is responsible for the lives of hundreds everyday."

My brother said something to the tone of "You're closer to truth more than others because you have a condition where death is right around the corner if you're not careful."

We're required to be responsible more than most. I feel like lately I've defeated my "bad" diabetic personality. I thought at age 23 my personality would be written in stone (23 is still young, I know). All my life I've heard "people don't change" and believed it. But people DO change; it's the reason we have free will. I'm happy now because of changes I've made in my life and with the people that I love.

[right2fight]

I believe for sure that diabetes has had a big impact on shaping just who my 13 year old son is today. He is smart, witty, and loves a good debate. We struggled for almost 6 years in the education department and although we haven't won the war, we have certainly won some of the battles and this situation, while going through it, seemed to be pure ****, has shaped a little kid into a strong young man who is not afraid to stand up for what he believes is right. So we have been able to see the good in the bad. Thank God!

[burroak]

As Doc Holliday told Wyatt, " There isn't a good life. There is just life. Go live it."

[Ailsa]

I personally have a morbid fear of confrontations. I will do anything rather than confront someone. It can get so bad that I've actually had panic attacks.

So what I'm thinking is that the reason I avoid confrontation is because confrontations are stressful, however with diabetes my adrenalin response is more extreme and takes longer to subside. The experience is very uncomfortable, so I "learn" to avoid confrontations because they are so stressful. And irony of ironies I now get stressed about getting stressed by a confrontation!


Maybe you could learn some techniques to deal with confrontation. Couselling or a good book on assertiveness training might help.

If you do not confront issues, they will keep recurring & make your stress worse. Especially if they are things that bug you.There are ways to deal with confrontation without being aggressive. Once you've done it a few times it gets easier & you will find your stress reduces, & things that are bugging you stop occurring.
If you don't tell someone that you dont want to do something/ don't like something how can they know? They can't read your mind.

[REDLAN]

yeah thanks - the problem is that phobias are just that, phobias - they aren't rational, and rationally trying to decide that you shouldn't be panicking because your fear is irrational doesn't work.

I have techniques for dealing with people in a situations that could be confrontational - basically I don't consider it to be a confrontation - generally if you ask someone politely and reasonably to sort out your problem, then 9 times out of 10 they will and you can get to thank them afterwards, which makes them feel good about what could have been a tense situation, and so it isn't a confrontation. Generally I'm pretty skilled at ensuring that situations do not end up in a confrontation - it's one of my main work skills.

trouble is phobia's have a nasty habit of resurfacing when I feel stressed, and then in a situation I would have been happy dealing with, suddenly becomes confrontational, and then I get irrational, and want to run away and hide instead of doing what I know will sort it out, and then I get stressed because I can't deal with the situation.

Fortunately I've fixed stuff - I spoke to my boss on friday - I just made myself say what I needed to say - he was fine with it, especially as I had thought through what I needed to do, and he even gave me some office time to ensure I could get everything sorted, which was pretty cool.

[Aftiel]

/agree Mick -

I think Diabetes may "enhance" traits we already have (depending on our BG level at the time.)

But I have seen no study that concludes diabetes "causes" a trait.

Like "she would have been a nice person, but diabetes made her be mean." - don't think so.

Although if I am in a bad mood already AND my BG goes high - my bad mood intensifies.

- Aftiel