out of control

[love2sing]

Both my sister and I are type one diabetics. She was diagnosed a couple of years before I was. We are only 14 months apart. I am on a pump and in tight control, and well she is completely opposite of me. It is frusterating because even with a low a1c and my pump I have been hospitalized twice with DKA, and she has been once (although she should be probably right now.

Anyway she will occasionally take lantus at night, but I watch her eat every meal without testing or doing insulin. She has has an eating disorder since she was diagnosed and she believes that taking the insulin will make her fat. I am so afraid she will not wake up one morning. She is married and her husband wont even take the time to learn about the disease.

She maybe tests her blood once a month. She called me about a month ago because she was throwing up non stop and needed help taking care of her step daughter. I made her test and her meter read "high danger call doctor"!! After a big fight she let me give her some insulin, but refused to go to the hospital. My boyfriend got her keytone strips and they were the highest they could be basically turning the strip black. She ended up calling me a know it all and we got in a fight. So after my mom got there I ended up leaving.

It makes me so sad. I am watching my sister, someone who is so close to me kill herself. I wish she would let me in because I know exactly what she is going though. How do I deal with this??? How do I talk to her? I need to do something because I am afraid she wont wake up one day, but I dont know how to get throught to her without sounding preachy. Do I just let her go? She is so hard to talk to.

I am sorry for going on and on, but I am so scared and I know how important it is to take care of this.

[notme]

I am so sorry you are dealing not only with your diabetes, but trying to take care of your sister's as well.

Sadly, you can only take care of yourself. Your sister will not do well until she WANTS to take care of her diabetes. I know this must be so hard for you to watch.

All you can do is be a roll model for your sister. If she sees you doing well, not gaining weight and staying healthy, perhaps she will be inspired. That is all you can do.

Welcome to the forums. Maybe your sister will come and read here. Give her the web addy and let her look around herself.

Good luck and Welcome!

[am1977]

My goodness, that's a tough situation... I'm sorry that you are going through this- it must be extremely difficult.

As much as it's probably tough to hear, I think Nancy is right. There's really nothing you can do to make your sister take care of herself and her diabetes. She has got to want to take control and manage it for things to change and, right now, it doesn't seem like that is what she wants.

I wish I could give you concrete advice on what to say and do to help your sister, but until she hits bottom and comes to grips with her reality, most likely nothing will change.

In the meantime, I would continue to talk to her about it. Try not to nag or push her, but be encouraging and ask if there's any way you can help her get back on track.

Good luck, I hope things turn around for her!

[Melody]

Unfortunately, I have to agree here with others. :( You can't make your sister work on controlling her diabetes until she's ready to do so... and it's tough watching a loved one not deal with their diabetes. Just try to be hopeful that she will start taking care of herself.

I had to deal with things similarly with my parents. They're both diabetic too and for the longest time, my mother was rollercoasting up and down. :(

Off topic here, I'm guessing based on your login name you like to sing? What do you like to sing? I just passed my audition to join the Bay Area Showcase Chorus.

Mel

[labob]

My guess is that you won't be able to force (or even convince) your sister to take control of her diabetes -- you're too close. But I would bet that if you could get your sister to join this forum, there are lots and lots of really wonderful, inspiring, and supportive people who would be more than willing to try to help your sister get on the road to taking control. Do you think it's possible to get her to visit this site, even if she doesn't join? Sometimes it is easier to take advice from a stranger, as perverse as that might seem.

[NoelD]

A wise man once said: "You can lead a horse to water..... but you can't make him drink"

[cheryl]

oh this is a rough one poor thing, i feel for you. Ok if she has a disorder she needs help period......she is not doing good at all. Insulin does not make you fat at all.....she is thinking the high sugars keeps her thin well you can tell her what good is it if she is blind and can't see one day......then who cares what you look like because you can't see you anymore.......I hate it but it comes to the terms of like those get togethers i forgot what those are called but when everyone oh yea an intervention and all and tell her she needs help that is all you can do......and then just hope she does get all of family to go in on it with you and if you guys do it once it is done....and she doesn't do anything just wait....it sucks but you cannot force anyone to do anything.....
So sorry about this i know it sucks

Cheryl

[Dan Gato]

Welcome to the Forums.
I think that family members rarely listen to other relatives.
Why don't you get some of your good common friends do some intervention.
or maybe another diabetic who has had serious complications, such as losing the vision, amputee or heart condition. that may make her reconsider.

[kgm0612]

My younger brother has been a type 1 diabetic for almost 20 years. I was dx'd a type 1 four years ago. My brother was in denial up until 7 years ago when he was in a serious accident because of a low blood sugar. He went from MDI's to pumping and has improved, but he also has the start of several complications associated with this disease.

When I was dx'd, I joined a diabetes forum for support and learned a lot from all the long-term diabetics. I knew then that Diabetes was NOT going to control me........that I was going to control it. Some days are easier than others.

I totally understand your frustration and concerns. As hard as it is to keep quiet or walk away, sometimes that's what we have to do.

Karen

[Dan Gato]

Kgm, could you please elaborate on what kinds of complications your brother has had. thanks

[Jenn L]

Maby you should let your sister read your thread, we all care here, but she is the only one who can change, you can't do it for her. And if she does read it, I have a question for her, it is DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?? Don't let Diabetes control your life, control your Diabetes. You can do it, and this is a great place to get the support you need. Don't give up!! It can always get better. Let us know how you are!

[carman68]

I would recommend that you sister seek out help either on the outside such as another person whom is Diabetic or a professional. I know what you are going through and sometimes it is hard for a family member to help when they are feeling this way. I also agree with the others that have replied and hope for the best. Maybe if she saw another Diabetic with an amputated limb she would reconsider or talk to others on the Diabetic Forum. I wish you the best of luck and hope she will be able to take care of her diabetes!

carman68

Type 1 since January 1999
Minimed 715 Paradigm Insulin Pump for 11 months
HB1AC-8.3