cheryl
01-16-2007, 07:44 AM
I just joined the forum last week just decided to share a little bit about myself. I was diagnoised at age 12 back in 1991, never really hit me what i had just gave my self my shots and went on my merry way. I always ate when i was supposed to but you couldn't get me to test my blood sugar regularly if you paid me too. **** I was a teenager i had more important things to worry about than this...so i thought. Having diabetes though kept me a bit thinner than i would of been if I wasn't I was on the road of bulemia and just can't imagine what else. I hated the way i looked but loved food. Having diabetes i knew I couldn't go ape **** crazy on food and never did. I knew when friends and peer pressure trying to try hard core drugs and what not i wouldn't go near it because i was scared of having the D and what i might do. Note my Dad was into cocaine for a while and alcholic so it ran in the family. I thought atleast I was blessed with D so I would not end up fat or dead or whatever. But the constant ignoring was not good either. I ended up pregnant at 18 with the worst A1C by this point I was drinking like a fish. Needless to say i did have a miscarriage and the doc's warned me not to get pregnant unless i prepared for it first. Yes like I listened. Well I did kind of but because of a broken contraceptive maybe 5 months later I was pregnant again. I ignored it. Because of those doc's telling an 18 yr old this will definately happen again, I acted like nothing was wrong boy i was stupid can you say that twice.......but this time i did check my sugars and tried really hard to get them down for the 10 weeks that i did it on my own. Well I finally fessed up to my Mom I was prego again and went to doc's and my child looked fine all bloodwork came back awesome. Bad thing i was living at home and single......but I can have kids i was exstatic at least I knew that I could. Luke was a healthy boy. No problems I did awesome. I was so rough though. So in denial about things went back to the old not checkin habits after he was born, didn't care anymore after hitting 176 pounds and high blood pressure and my heart skipping beats, I decided to lose some weight and get back on the ball i was only 20 for God's sake......Well got preganant again and this was crazy I hid my pregnancy from my Mom till i was 8 months but I was going to doc's and taking care of myself atleast this time I had a boyfriend. CALL me hoochey mama or what......well anyway, Cristian was fine too......great pregnancy also......then i stayed with this guy forever it was alright i started to ignore my D again but i was thinner now instead of heavier.......then I got pregnant again and yet again got back on the ball and I had another boy Joshua this time I was pretty good after I had him i tested a lot more and tried a little harder to do the right things. Then i got on Lantus oh god I loved some Lantus, I felt free as a bird, maybe a little too free, and then back to the old not paying attention again but atleast I was going to dr's more and testing much more than i used too, but still not like I should. Well i ended up gettinga divorce and such then. I met the man of my dreams he had kids too. I grew up alot and I was a lot happier. but you know what that meant diabetes took a back seat because he was all on my mind lol....well anyway we got married and guess what I got pregnant again yet again not planned yet again a really really really good pregnancy and yet again another boy Jacob in 2005 well then of course I was good but then back slid again mind you I had no clue about carb counting was just wingin this again but tested a lot.......Well in July I got my tubes tied and boy were my sugar rought I was in 300's-400's and could not figure out why I was drinking cokes between meals well duh....and all this and that.....when it hit 567 in August and I lost my job of 7 years because of all this I hit an all time low.....I was depressed moody and down right evil to my husband, I hated my life and my blood sugars then i got paranoia from getting low I thought it would go to low and I would die...I purposely would eat if it even thought of hitting 120 cause I was shaking like a hypo. My body was not used to this. I got on the ball in Oct. I found this other forum and learned carb countin and the constant testing and correcting all by myself.....I feel so much better but I know I am not invincible, even though nothing bad has happened to me yet.....i fear it will now I feel miserable if it goes past 140 i get mad and all and I am not scared of hypo's anymore and boy was a getting a load of them as I started to get body back down to normal range, I know have decided the Lantus in not working for me some days i need more or less and it is crazy so I am now awaiting a pump......I just want everyone out there to know don't do what I did u may not be as lucky as me and I have no clue right now if I am that lucky so far just a broken vessel in eye which the dr said might not be even D related and some numbness in toes if sugars get high other than that i have the best blood pressure and kidney and liver function.....don't know if that'll be the case though since I was out of control for so many years......but I am living know day by day.........just keeping a postive attitude about it all......
Cheryl
Cheryl