Kind of bummed today

[cheryl]

I am still a little new on here, and all but not new to the Diabetes, I have cut my diet into a bare minimal, I am starving sometimes, I hate it......yes yes blah blah if your type 1 dose insulin yada yada yada, but sometimes if I indulge and all I cannot get it right and the insulin sensitivity goes down boggling to the mind but I cannot eat white bread if I do for more than a day i am high and have to fix my insulin ratio's crazy but it is so..........I am just upset cause my friend was here and bought me some NYC bagels they have been calling my name in the freezer where I put them cause I don't want them to go bad. Last week on Sunday I ate a bagel and i spiked to a 178 thought ok tomorrow I guess, I'll need an extra unit....cause i was so guesstimating this was from a bakery and had no clue how to count it.....anyway the next day with an extra unit 287, the next day i cut the bagel in half and dosed the same with a half a apple and peanut butter 267 wtf.........ok next day just ate half the bagel with the same units 281 ok I was pissed off by this point and threw them in the freezer now i just screwed up my HA1C, cause if i do spike i fix and then don't again but everyday for four days spiked so high i corrected it came back down but now I am gonna have a bad A1C, I go to a new endo on Friday and now I am pissed, he is gonna think I am a liar, because i have been working so hard since October to keep my sugars low low low ...........and I have failed and going to die a horrilbe somewhat death, because i screwed up royally, I mean i was just trying to figure out what a good units were for these things so I can eat them occasionally and I have come to realize, I should only eat it once and fix the small spike and leave it alone for a week.............it's bs, because i hear all these people dose right you can eat what you want I think it is bull you know what unless you want to raise basal settings and take a **** load of insulin which I don't want to do, Oh well.............I feel better......but I havent been to a doctor since July my a1c was 8.7 then I was still awful then, well I lost insurance cause i lost my job had to wait till my hubby's picked up decided i didn't like my endo called for a new one had to go to gp to get him to send the new one documentation then the new endo's never called and then finally i called in November and got an appointment for Jan. 26th............so now I have screwed up royally up the but.........I hate this disease i honestly hate it, I swear the pump better be better, cause i eat so plain and ordinary well I do still like my soda with a meal but i have the most awesome sugars with it...........ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh............sorry had to vent I am just mad at the world, I guess i shouldn't beat myself up I have been under no doc's care since June, I have done this all by myself and up until last week my meter was avg. 103, now since that last week stint it was 148 back down to 134 so maybe, my A1C will still be ok hoping for the best....

Cheryl

[Injecto]

I'm going to tell you something. I hate this disease too. And I have many bad days, but reading your post comforted me. You are not alone in your struggle. I have read about kindred spirits lately, and we are all kindred spirits (many who share the same experiences even if we haven't met). You need to vent, so please do, and don't applogize. It's very natural, and it's 10X better than bottling it all inside. You are not alone, and you are doing what you need to do. Just one thing, if you need to use more insulin for a specific food, then use it. My mother had said to me "who on earth knows how much insulin our own healthy pancreas' secrete with what we eat?" It could very well be that your pancreas secretes 15 units for a bagel, so you should be unhappy to use more, because that is what your "healthy" body would have done in the same situation. The only difference is that YOU are going to inject it, so don't feel bad,..... feel empowered.

[orpy]

I'm not Type 1 (yet) but I feel your pain...keep on talking to everybody here. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it really helps to talk here. It is so frustrating to feel so out of control...there are days that I just feel like crying; the days where I eat hardly anything because if I do, I'll feel like a failure when I see a high number.

Anyway, hang in there.

[Injecto]

so you should be unhappy to use more, because


Dumb typo, I meant to say "you shouldn't be unhappy to use more......" :stupido:

[Belinda]

If after 2-2 1/2 hours after you are high then why not take a correction dose of insulin???? am I missing something here?

[cheryl]

Yes I was figuring that 9 units will do the trick with the bagel but that first day if I would of took like 9 units I would of gotten a hypo yuck a bad one, I am on this strict meal plan because I have had a little elevated cholesterol didn't like it, I feel the years and years of neglect will come back to haunt me....I have excellent blood pressure though which I guess is a positive, I check it everytime I go to the supermarket or drug store.........I didn't exercise last week which probably didn't help, so I have to get back into that again.........It is hard isn't it, some people can do so well, but are they really good at what they are doing, or just not venting at all, i never complained because I never really cared till about August or if I was pregnant..........oy the life.......now I feel consumed a bit overwhelmed at times, paranoid when i go out to eat everything...........I am working so hard to get a good reading all the time period, I am awaiting a pump because I feel this will be the only way to keep my goals a positive one, since I can control the basal settings instead of relying on a 24 hr shot.........which I cannot control once it is in me......Ok enough about me, I feel a bit better since Friday I have been back down with the highest number at 130 and the lowest 42 so I am doing a lot better again........just I want good sugars especially right before my appointment friday and I am praying to God my cholesterol has come down......i quit red meat I eat heart healthy margarine now no hydrogenated oils or msg, and nothing with more that 40mg of cholesterol per serving if I even eat something with cholesterol in it, I don't want to be on pills yet I am only 28, so I am trying my hardest to only be on insulin period that is it,,,,,i have high goals I know but I am trying to balance all this out.........Thank you two for reading and listening I joined the forum hadn't had too many responses thought oh well ain't gettin much attention here.........oh yea the downfall am a bit of a drama queen hehehehe

Thank you I do feel a lot better....

Cheryl

[cheryl]

If after 2-2 1/2 hours after you are high then why not take a correction dose of insulin???? am I missing something here?



I did I am just trying to not even see a 200 period i did get it back down to atleast the 130's by lunch when i ate the bagels I am just on this high goal for myself............

Cheryl

[Aftiel]

Wait - you mean to tell me you all have days that are not consistent?

That's crazy talk - I can eat whatever and my sugar is always consistent every day.

*cough*

- Aftiel

[cheryl]

Wait - you mean to tell me you all have days that are not consistent?

That's crazy talk - I can eat whatever and my sugar is always consistent every day.

*cough*

- Aftiel



Am I being that hard on myself:vollkomme you made me smile

Cheryl

[LancetChick]

Bagels are notoriously carby. I lump them into the same category as Chinese food.

[MJM]

I am still a little new on here, and all but not new to the Diabetes, I have cut my diet into a bare minimal, I am starving sometimes, I hate it......yes yes blah blah if your type 1 dose insulin yada yada yada, but sometimes if I indulge and all I cannot get it right and the insulin sensitivity goes down boggling to the mind but I cannot eat white bread if I do for more than a day i am high and have to fix my insulin ratio's crazy but it is so..........I am just upset cause my friend was here and bought me some NYC bagels they have been calling my name in the freezer where I put them cause I don't want them to go bad. Last week on Sunday I ate a bagel and i spiked to a 178 thought ok tomorrow I guess, I'll need an extra unit....cause i was so guesstimating this was from a bakery and had no clue how to count it.....anyway the next day with an extra unit 287, the next day i cut the bagel in half and dosed the same with a half a apple and peanut butter 267 wtf.........ok next day just ate half the bagel with the same units 281 ok I was pissed off by this point and threw them in the freezer now i just screwed up my HA1C, cause if i do spike i fix and then don't again but everyday for four days spiked so high i corrected it came back down but now I am gonna have a bad A1C, I go to a new endo on Friday and now I am pissed, he is gonna think I am a liar, because i have been working so hard since October to keep my sugars low low low ...........and I have failed and going to die a horrilbe somewhat death, because i screwed up royally, I mean i was just trying to figure out what a good units were for these things so I can eat them occasionally and I have come to realize, I should only eat it once and fix the small spike and leave it alone for a week.............it's bs, because i hear all these people dose right you can eat what you want I think it is bull you know what unless you want to raise basal settings and take a **** load of insulin which I don't want to do, Oh well.............I feel better......but I havent been to a doctor since July my a1c was 8.7 then I was still awful then, well I lost insurance cause i lost my job had to wait till my hubby's picked up decided i didn't like my endo called for a new one had to go to gp to get him to send the new one documentation then the new endo's never called and then finally i called in November and got an appointment for Jan. 26th............so now I have screwed up royally up the but.........I hate this disease i honestly hate it, I swear the pump better be better, cause i eat so plain and ordinary well I do still like my soda with a meal but i have the most awesome sugars with it...........ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh............sorry had to vent I am just mad at the world, I guess i shouldn't beat myself up I have been under no doc's care since June, I have done this all by myself and up until last week my meter was avg. 103, now since that last week stint it was 148 back down to 134 so maybe, my A1C will still be ok hoping for the best....

Cheryl

Cheryl, I understand your anger as I'm sure everyone with diabetes does. We all feel this at times. It can be so frustrating. I'm 48 years a diabetic now and have had the same problems as you down the years. I don't think you'll ever get it "perfect" but if you get it even reasonably right it will help. It's generally only where people don't follow rules and let blood sugars go way out of control over a long period of time that problems tend to surface rather quickly. Looking at your readings I think you are doing a marvellous job for someone new on the scene. I've been on a pump for the past 2.5yrs and it has really helped me. I think a time will come when every diabetic will be put on a pump, at least I hope it will. At the moment it's the best way of controlling blood sugars, giving people more control over insulin requirements and greatly improving HbA1cs for almost everyone who is on a pump. As regards your diet: Your body needs certain nutrients which are mostly got from food. You need to get these on a daily basis in order for your body to function properly. Now every one is different, so how much you should eat, would probably be best assessed by your dietition. The type of food is also important, as is exercise. Discuss all these aspects with your diabetic team and keep reading here and you will get it sorted. I say you will get it sorted because I think you have the determination and strength to do it. The most anyone can do is their best and if you do that be proud of yourself. Wish you well in your endeavours.

[cheryl]

Oh I am sorry if there is confusing I have been diabetic for a while almost 16 yrs but only recently actually cared about it. I do eat I really sometimes I just want more food.....I eat oatmeal apple with peanutbutter for breakfast a sandwhich on whole wheat bread either turkey or tofu with whatever veggie i want and for dinner usually 3 course whatever......that is what I eat sometimes I feel hungrier then others and sometimes I eat more fruit then veggies or vice versa.............dinner varies alot lunch and breakfast are usually the same sorry I do eat just not a lot but I do, I just feel starved less calories and carbs since I have been counting want the pump and get basal settings almost near perfect before I do more again.....just am happy right now sugars are well............Thanks for your words I do feel better I guess I am just freaked this is the first endo appointment that I am actually going to that I give a flyin flip about.........

Cheryl

[cheryl]

Bagels are notoriously carby. I lump them into the same category as Chinese food.

i am so agreeing with you I am leaving them to once a week till there all gone and when i actually trek out to nyc again and enjoy the food the good food..........

cheryl

[Gary_W]

Hi Cheryl,

I feel your pain.

It wasn't until I stumbled across the Glycemic Index a few years back that I understood why some of my favourite things just didn't act as they should. I know most people think us Brits eat nothing but bacon and eggs for breakfast before throwing another corgie on the fire to keep the manor warm whilst we're off shooting grouse for lunch.

However, I love Kellogs Corn Flakes. Like most Brits :wink: Due to the power of suggestion, I would be unable to resist some right now if I had any in the house. Which is why I don't have any in the house.

When I was first diagnosed 11 years back it was an entirely acceptable thing to eat (according to the nutritionist I saw at the time), yet they used to habitually make me ill. Raging high unless you injected enough to kill a horse, followed by a crashing low a couple of hours later. Once I learned about GI, it made sense as they are up there with glucose drinks. Bagels are not far behind. Not that it will make you feel better, but bagels do me in as well and I also really like them. Lots of carbs wedged into a small space that absorb at a rate similar to rice with sweet and sour sauce. Amongst the worst GI and GL of any bakery product.

I just eat them once in a while and accept that I'll be high. IMO, it really is not making yourself that upset over provided you do the right thing the rest of the time.

If you like them savoury, you could make some really chunky home made humous and pile that onto the bagels; in theory, it should slow the release down a bit. Obviously you'll have to count the carbs in the humous as well, but it might help that post-bagel spike (or PBS as I shall now call it :smile: )

Sorry if I'm preaching to the converted about GI and GL. A factor worth considering if you haven't.

Gary

[Emm]

Wait - you mean to tell me you all have days that are not consistent?

That's crazy talk - I can eat whatever and my sugar is always consistent every day.

*cough*

- Aftiel

Watch that cough! Your nose has grown so long you wont be able to put your hand over your mouth!

The only time I can get consistency is when I eat very low carb (sticking to carbs from veggies only) and the same stuff at the same time every day. Even that doesn't really work, because there are so many other factors that come into it. So basically, we're never going to have a smooth ride of perfect blood sugars... though it doesn't hurt to try :)

Cheryl I so understand how you feel! I get SO frustrated sometimes. I'm sending you wishes for a perfect BG day so you can start fresh!!

[REDLAN]

there are only a very small minority of people that can eat and inject and get it right pretty much every time, for the rest if us no day is ever the same...

I get exactly the same problem you describe, and no it ain't easy, and yes it is frustrating when you do stuff that worked last week, sends you totally out of whack this week.

I guess I've learnt not to let any of this stuff get to me - I try and distance myself from the testing and injecting - I look on it the same I would when fixing my bike - it's just a task to be done...

...and my best friend is the correction dose - gets you quickly back on track when it all goes bagel/chinese/too many beers shaped (",)

when I was a kid the barber, used to do this trick where he would balance a mirror on the end of his foot - I was really impressed. Diabetes is like this balancing act you gotta keep moving your foot to keep the mirror up...

on a more scientific point - there are good reasons for the variability of diabetes (I was reading a paper that compared inhaled insulins to injected ones)

1) variation of absorption - insulin take up from the site can vary between individuals and within the individual - factors such as skin temperature, depth of injection, and blood supply can alter absorption rates.

2) variation of action - the action of insulin can vary between individuals and also with an individual at different times - it isn't clear why this is always the case.

the paper noted that variation of action was actually more significant than variation of absorption.

As I recall I think that there was a 25% variation of absorption and about a 35% variation in action for an individual.

So no it isn't that you're doing a bad job, it's just that it's actually quite a skill to master - practice makes you better - I hesitate to say perfect coz my nose might grow...

once when I was bored I wondered just how much sugar was contained in the average persons blood stream - it's a whole level teaspoon - or about 5 grams

the difference between being in the range and outside it a level teaspoon....

...makes me feel soooo much better thinking about it like that when I get it wrong.

[Cyborg]

Do you accurately count carbs and protein? When was the last time you did your basal testing? Have you tested your I:C ratio for different parts of the day? Did you know that starving yourself can actually cause your bg to rise?

Good luck, I know it can be tough...

[cheryl]

Omg, I didn't even see these posts.....Well, I am way off on my Lantus which is probably some of the problem.....I already knew that, but anyway......when everyone says they have a problem with soda, I think wtf.....I can do fine if I dose for soda and a meal.......absolutely fine......that I find more strange about myself......soda is fine, bagels are not. Spaghetti is fine, rice is not. Pizza I do fine to yep fine go figure. But I don't eat all this other stuff everyday....like I tried with the bagel. I should of only ate it once.....I don't starve myself. Sometimes I just want to snack and never know how to dose for it, without getting some tail end of the humalog.....oh well......I am gonna learn soon enough......

Thanks for all the great replies...........

Cheryl