Frustration

[June91]

My HbA1C is 6.9 and I am not in the best of moods. It's a decent number, but I've tried SO HARD and now it doesn't seem like it was worth all the trouble.

I have an irrational fear of hypos and find it very hard to keep panic under control if I'm under 6 (117) and out of the house. I try to be a decent mother to my child and I do go to work every day although there's a lot of psychological pain involved on a regular basis.

I feel so angry with myself, with diabetes, with everyone and everything at the moment and I will admit that I sometimes get so jealous of low a1c's a lot of people seem to have (how despicable, but how human).

But I believe this too, will pass, and I will soon enjoy a lighthearted banter and share wonderful experiences with all of you at DF - the only ones who understand.

[princesslinda]

June:
So sorry you didn't see the results you wanted....esp since you've worked so hard at it. These set backs are hard to overcome sometimes...but you're not alone. Everyone here, T1 or T2, can point to a particular time when things just plain sucked and they didn't want to do this anymore. It's okay to feel disappointed, frustrated, angry, jealous...all normal. So, have yourself a time of pity..it's allowed. Then, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and live another day. ( be sure and save this post, so someone can forward it to me when i'm having one of my "episodes.":idea: ) Being human is such a pain sometimes, isn't it?

I'm not trying to minimize your situation in the least, just wanting you to see that this day will pass...and a better one will come. Just hang in there.

Linda (AKA: Princesspollyanna)

[KritterMom]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I totally understand it though. It's extremely hard to be a single mom, and then have to try and live life with Diabetes, and everything else that comes along. Been there and done that, so I understand. I also know that guilt that comes along with having to leave your child with a babysitter, or child care, while you go and try to make a living. I know how frustrating it is to have an A1C that is not as low as it should be, considering that you've tried soooo hard.
Hang in there and just do your best. You don't have to be perfect. I just keep trying to have a better number next time. We're with ya! Hang in there!

[kgm0612]

June............Many of us have been in your shoes before, so don't beat yourself up. I know it's frustrating, but you have to keep pushing on!

I don't know what it's like to have a fear of being below a certain number, and you didn't say what you snack on when you're out of the house and go below 117......but I carry a package of Starburst fruit chews with me and will eat one or two while I'm out running errands to hold me over until I get home.

Karen

[orpy]

June,

I am always jealous of other's A1Cs...it's only human to be, especially if you work so hard. I totally can relate...I feel totally guilty about feeling envious of people's numbers, especially when it's of Type 1 folks...(I'm not Type 1; yet). I always think, well, at least I've had a chunk of my life where I didn't have to monitor and inject, etc. while a lot of Type 1 folks have had to live with restrictions their entire lives. Just try not to be hard on yourself; I know that's not easy. I'm so glad that I found this forum; there are so many strong and smart people here. I have learned a lot from all of you.

[am1977]

First, I think your A1c is pretty good ~ so I hope you recognize that :proud:.

Second, I can understand your fear- it's something I think most of us can relate to. But, saying that, I think if you want to change things, it's well within your power. Yes, it means testing more and being prepared at all times (having some source of carbohydrate w/ you), but you can bring your A1c down if you are willind to do those things.

Good luck :)

[issysmommy]

Wow...I commend your honesty here (and your apology in another posting). It sounds like you are not afraid to DEAL with stuff. Some people prefer to say "No, I love having Diabetes, and everything is and always has been great." I have that attitude some days, but there have been a lot of days in my lifetime where I have not been happy about Diabetes. I am so glad we can come here and vent. I have been able to really work through a lot of this stuff on this forum.

As far as the hypo fear, I understand...I think I test more just becuase of that...

Hang in there...and keep sharing.

[June91]

I can't thank you all enough for your support.

I am feeling better - it's snowing here today and I am getting ready to go and play in the park with my daughter. Life is good :)

[statdeac]

As far as the hypo fear, I understand...I think I test more just becuase of that...Hang in there...and keep sharing.This is my approach, too. It has helped me avoid many hypos, which I fear quite rationally. :)

Hang in there and enjoy the snow!

[Dewey]

Hang in there June. It's completely understandable to be frustrated, especially when you work hard for something, and don't see the results you had intended on. That said, please never lose hope. The road may seem rocky at times, but remember that all you can do is try your best. Don't be too hard on yourself and remember, we're here to help. Lots of (((((hugs))))) to you!

[gettingby]

June, I know it's frustrating. I, too, get jealous of all of the low A1C's I see on here. We just have to keep trying to get our numbers down. I hope things get better for you and remember that you have friends here that you can turn to in times like this.

[Mich]

Hi June,

I am so glad you are part of the family here. You are expressing feelings we all have. It is impossible not to be discouraged with the unexplained high or the low you forgot to anticipate.

I would suggest you try just a little at a time to lower your blood sugar. Maybe focus on an average of 100 for a while. Make sure you have glucose tabs or sweeties or starburst in your nightstand, car, workplace and purse. That will allow you to fix a low quickly just in case. If you feel low, test quickly, pop a tab or three and muddle through for the 15 minutes it takes to feel up to par. You sure can't stop in the middle of parenting to fix your blood sugar, I remember well. Eventually :itsme: your family will tell you when you are a grouch!

Test before you drive until you know how a 100 glucose will sit with you.

For me, I don't feel really low until about 50 or 60, it depends on what I am doing. If I am engrossed or busy with something, it can sneak up on me. Sometimes I feel low and I'm not--I find it good to test. This was especially true when I was blessed with hot flashes. My husband is used to me sitting out for a few minutes in the middle of a project while I gag down some glucose tabs, then I'm up and at it again. For normal functioning, I find a 70 or so to be good--I have my basal (pump) well adjusted, but any physical work requires planning ahead with a balanced snack. Of course we are all different.

Hang in there. It's easier to whittle an A1c down a bit at a time and keep track of exactly how you do it. The crummy part is that it is hard work and you have to keep at it. In the long run I think it is worth the effort.

A big hug to you.
Mich