family & friends pester, nag you?

[slipperyelm]

Do your family & friends ever pester or nag you about your self-care, diet, excercise, doctors appointments, or any other aspects of your diabetes?

I'm fortunate that none of my family or friends have ever nagged or pestered me. They all know a fair amount about diabetes, and actually, I think that helps curtail their own would-be anxiety and helps them to understand that I'm usually doing the best I can at any given point.

[princesslinda]

I have a strong family history of diabetes and have a couple in my immediate family, one on insulin, one on a couple of oral meds, so the family knows quite a lot about diabetes. However, I get nagged quite a bit. My family thinks I worry about my diabetes too much. I'm told not to be so "anal" about what i'll eat...."you don't expect to live you entire life without ever having cake/cookies/bread (fill in whatever they are having at the time) again, do you? Or "I only test every few days, why are you checking your blood sugar so much?" Or "_________eats bread every day AND has ice cream, why can't you?"

I get really frustrated....and concerned, after all, they really are eating this stuff and I can't. Does this mean my diabetes is worse than theirs?..or is it just that i'm checking my levels and actually know what's going on?

Also, co-workers often say..."have just a bite...what will it hurt?" So yes, I get nagged, just not in the "traditional" sense of the word.

[ladytaz]

Luckily not by my family as we're FULL of diabetics, and have learned that we all react differently to different foods. But I have had friends nag or question me, and I just properly educate them and that usually shuts them up real quick! LOL It is somewhat annoying and sometimes pisses me off, moreso the when they talk about how "they" remember or "they" are on this low carb diet or that one .... In those cases, I let them know that I'm not counting carbs because I WANT to for weight loss reasons, I do it because I HAVE to, my LIFE/HEALTH depends upon it!! Usually shuts them up real quick, yet again! LOL If they have more questions (some have/do) I'm more than willing to answer them and help them better understand! :) The more WE educate them (cuz you can't rely on the media and even the medical community sometimes), the better it will be all around! ;)

[Stuboy]

friends and family no.... collegues... all the time!!

[PepsiLvr]

What ticks me off is people who know "someone else" who has diabetes and they care to know more about that person's diabetes than yours and they try to apply how the other person manages their diabetes to how you should manage yours. Further, they apply the problems the other person has to the problems you are are "supposedly" going to have.

My GF's mom who is a T2 and eats all the time, coughs all the time and gets sick easily. As a result My GF says things when I skip a meal like "I thought you had to eat every 2 hours" even though I told her 1000 times that's not the case. Or when I get a cold she says "oh, you're just like my mom. You're going to be coughing all the time now" People just need to realize that people manage their diabetes differently and it's harder for some than others. I consider myself "lucky" in that my BS is pretty well managed with little effort on my part. I can easily skip 1 or 2 meals and stay stable all day long. It's the **** pizza and pasta that throw me off. :)

[kgm0612]

No pestering...........tons of support!

Karen

[mindylee]

No Nagging, I haven't told a lot of people. But some of the people I have told don't understand. If I eat something thats not so good for me it's because I've already done something else, like cut carbs at lunch so I can have a bigger snack or something. They see me eating a treat and think it's OK so the next thing I know there's a new treat from them on my desk that I so totally cannot have. I always say thank you, but I need to control all food that I choose.

[Binne]

All the time...if I go high and feel bad, my grandmother calls me a pig and cries gluttony.

seethe

I read a book recently where the author suggests turning to the member of the self-appointed "diabetes police" and saying "Funny - you don't look like my mother".

[mg_2204]

My husband still doesn't understand anything about diabetes. I've given up trying to educate him. Just the other day we both went for our annual eye test and he didn't know why I had to do a field test on top of the reg eye test and also why the pressure in my eyes was a concern. Because I have diabetes and glaucoma! Oh. Still he thinks the optometrist went overboard with me. I don't need all that extra care, no more than he does.

For him diabetes = no sugar. That's it. Doesn't involve anything else, and not even complications. Well if it was that easy I would be happy. When I try to have a discussion about diabetes and its complications he looks at me as if I'm making it up. :banghead: So I've given up. As long as I know what's in store for me if I don't take good care of myself...

A few people close to me go overboard. If I say I'm tired 'Oh! It's your sugar!' ... If I say I have a headache 'Oh! It's your sugar!' ... If I say I have a tooth ache 'Oh! It's your sugar!' ... If I say I've had a rough week at work 'Oh! Your sugars are more important than work!' ... So I now shut up and smile. I don't even dare talk about anything. If I dare say we had snow today, it might be my SUGARS are at stake.............

[princesslinda]

Marie:
Bless your heart! I know that must be so frustrating to hear everything being blamed on your sugars! I went through that for years being overweight...I always said I could go to the doctor with my eyelashes falling out and it would be in some way related to being overweight...now I have TWO reasons for everything that happens to me. It would be funny if it weren't so aggravating.

What you should start doing is this: Whenever you do something that your husband or friends don't agree with...blame it on your sugars. "No, i'm not cooking tonight dear, my diabetes is making me tired," or "Not tonight dear...my diabetes is acting up" or make that catty remark you've always wanted to make, followed by "gosh, I'm sorry, must be my diabetes acting up again!" That would show them.

[mg_2204]

PrincessLinda, I like your idea :D

[cheryl]

no nagging here, but I think the lack of nagging from my family as when I was diagnoised after a few months kind of made me feel like I was invincible......Yea, right.....but now that I am back on track if anyone even annoyed me I'd get mad......

Cheryl

[Penny]

For a long time, I had family, especially my husband thinking if I was sick it was because I ate something that made my sugars mess up. My husband wouldn't even try to learn anything about it, just gave me snide remarks, when he thought I was doing something wrong. Then I died from a heart attack, and no one knew if I would live when they brought me back. That changed the way he looked at things. He made some effort to educate his self and the family. Since he just went through the heart surgery, he has even more understanding of what I go through. I even use Princess Linda's method once in awhile...."I can't do this or that today, because of my Diabetes." Not often, I feel too guilty, but once in a while, I deserve a little break.:biggrin:

[BriOnH]

They all nag me to fix their things all the time, especially computers. I work all day and I get so mad when they call expecting me to do day projects to fix their things on my days off. That may sound selfish but I truely do hate it.

No one nags me about my health. Unless they are in a similar situation as I or are extremely intelligent or a professional I will put people in their place in 5 sentences or less politely.

[am1977]

No, they don't really nag me or get on my back about things. Sometimes I wish that they would...

Ok, thats not what I mean, I just mean that I wish they would take my conditiona little more seriously. Being dx'ed as an adult, my parents and sisters have never really got tot see what it's like to live with Diabetes or how much it takes out of you.

Thank goodness i have this forum for support... Yes, I still get depressed at times with being given his fate, but at least I have this forum and others who can relate to me and my experiences. :thumbsup:

[parrotletzoo]

Mine do ONCE and then they get the lecture and don't do it again. My siblings groan when someone asks me "can you eat that??" because they know whats coming... lol

[blue_eyed_devil]

family - all the time. but not in a nasty way... although the guilt trips get a bit old... my partner knows not to cause i'll just get angry, he knows i can do it on my own (does that sound arrogant?!?).

friends - yup. but more in a curious way. they know very clear boundaries though because if they start to tell me what to do etc i'm likley to tell them where to go.

why do i seem like such an angry little person?!?

i just resent being told what to do or being questioned by someone who has no idea what it's like to be a diabetic. simple as that.

[sweetcheeks]

my mom and my cousin says i worry too much, i test too much etc etc etc... i just ignore them... (my cuzn is diabetic also, but still goes by oldschool diabetes education, she only counts sugar grams not whole carbs)

my grandmother, uncle and my aunts understands, as they are diabetics also who are in good control...


now recently... this past week, my husbands grandfather passed away, we had to travel out of town with very little money to go very far (i ate out as often as i could, so i could control what i ate) however, i just didnt have the money to do it every meal.

i talked to my husbands aunt prior to this week about how good im doing about controlling my foods/excercise etc, she's a cook at a hospital, so she understands about the foods etc..

i took a piece of red devil cake with cream cheese icing, she says should you really be eating that, i just laughed and said well its ok just a small piece (i hadnt had a piece of red devil cake since i was a kid)

then a few hours later, my husbands grandmother (also diabetic) says well i'll eat whatever i want, ill die with a full belly
she doesnt check her sugars but once or so month only if she feels really really horrible, and she doesnt watch the diet at all not one bit... i have no idea how her control is....

but it bothers me that she set and lectured my husband about his diabetes and complained that her eyes were bad etc etc... because of it, then says that to me later on