Dealing with stress

[DeusXM]

Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with stress and help me relax a bit more?

Lately I've been feeling seriously stressed out about, well, everything in my life and it's starting to make me feel really rotten. I just feel so tense all the time and the only time my heart rate is probably ever normal is the first minute or so after I wake up and my brain hasn't had time to start working.

I'm not really having any problems sleeping, it's just that during the day everything seems to be much more stressful than it needs to be. If anyone could share how they destress themselves that would be really appreciated.

[valc3]

The thing I've found that works for me, is physical activity. I work out 3-5 times a week and walk or ride(weather permitting)every day. This has helped level out the "out of control feeling" that stress brings on. It really helps me clear my mind and relax. The "over the top" stress moments are much easier to manage and are fewer.

Good luck to you.

[Ricros]

I play video games. With lots of explosions and shooting. Makes me feel better to blow up some innocent pixels. Or I go for a long walk if I can.

[2high]

I find it helps to chat to a friend, someone you can have a real rant to, and who wont take it personally if it sometimes seems like you are mad at them.

Otherwise writing is my great escape... I often write something... a letter, poem, story, essay (yep! I have been known to wrote essays when I dont have to!), then burn it...

Mind you, I always regret burning it afterwards, but its pretty theraputic...

Classical music... something to match your mood... that helps me...

And, as a last resort, if I am REALLY stressed, a run. mp3 player on, turned up loud, and run.

[Mister Q]

Modern life seems to be full of stress one way and another as we are all under increasing time related deadlines in most aspect of our lives.

Stress can be an downward spiral, you get put under pressure and get stressed and then you are stressed about being stressed.

Its also important to realise that stress will not go away overnight, it takes time to build up and so also takes time to go away, don't be afraid to seek help because there are sympahtetic doctors out there.

There is no one cure all for everyone, most of my battle was won by realising what was causing me problems and learning to cope with them and to a certain extent ignore some of them. Also I have learned to push back and not take on too much by letting others 'put on me' - its true what they say those who want something doing will ask a busy person! Tell them you will do it but can't until next tomorrow/next week etc its amazing how many never come back and ask again.

When I get stressed I take time out, walk away from the source of stress (usually work related!!) and go and do something else for a while, I find insignificant meaningless things help me re-focus.

Talking to others can be a great help and its weird because you often find yourself pouring it all out to the most unlikely people, a problem shared is a problem halved I guess.

For me regular excercise is a real stress buster, currently I am laid up post operative and unable to even think about any of the usual excercises I normally do and its making me a little blue.

[am1977]

Join the club! I know what you mean... it's been rough for me lately too. All I can tell you is that you aren't alone... many feel that way.

I find working out helps me deal with some of my stress too... And also venting here help as well! You'd be surprised at how much venting can help :wink:. I always feel better once I got some of it off my chest..

Hope things improve for you soon :)

[princesslinda]

I think we all have times when life becomes "just too much." For me, when this happens, I just need something to help me escape from all the **** that's caused the stress in the first place...maybe you could take a "mental health day" from work and just "veg." If you're in the mood to hang with friends, go for it...if not, find a good murder/suspense novel and lose yourself in it..or watch a stupid TV show, just for fun. So many times, we get so busy with day to day life that we forget to just enjoy ourselves...find something you really like to do and take time to do it. Main thing is to realize that "this too will pass." Though stress sometimes feels like it's going to be constant, things WILL get better. Just be gentle with yourself until it does.

[mzizgayle]

I also go thru stress regarding this alien that has invaded my body...try the above suggestions or you can do as I do at times - stand in front of a mirror and making stupid faces, mentally aiming them to the 'alien' LOL...no seriously I have been caught doing this, my husband thinks I am a total idiot, but then the look on his face seeing my face just hits me so funny, laughter is a great stress reliever ....try not to allow stress to 'rent your mind for free'

[belyro]

For me it depends. Some days just having some "down-time" helps - watching a movie, reading a book, etc. Other times getting exercise is a good stress reliever. One thing that really helps me is yoga. Are you "man enough" to try yoga? ;)

[clee]

Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with stress and help me relax a bit more?

Lately I've been feeling seriously stressed out about, well, everything in my life and it's starting to make me feel really rotten. I just feel so tense all the time and the only time my heart rate is probably ever normal is the first minute or so after I wake up and my brain hasn't had time to start working.

I'm not really having any problems sleeping, it's just that during the day everything seems to be much more stressful than it needs to be. If anyone could share how they destress themselves that would be really appreciated.

HAVE A CHOCOLATE PARTY!!! WORKS FOR ME!!! LOL

:five:

[moorejames]

Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with stress and help me relax a bit more?



I started taking tai chi to help me learn to relax. I also like to go get a massage at least once a quarter.

It's amazing how much tension you can carry in your body. To the point where you need to learn to relax some, just so you can realize how tense you really STILL are. (if that makes sense).

[Oradev]

Exercise always works for me! You can pump some iron or just run for a half hour or so.

[RUFC_MD]

Alcohol....

[jen_slc]

For me it depends. Some days just having some "down-time" helps - watching a movie, reading a book, etc. Other times getting exercise is a good stress reliever. One thing that really helps me is yoga. Are you "man enough" to try yoga? ;)Me too. Everything during the day for me is go go go go go and no time to stop and smell the flowers, so I still struggle with stress during the daytime. But come evening time or weekend, it's all about the down time, whether it is 100% me-time (reading, movie, doing absolutely nothing but daydreaming) or physical activity (kickboxing is awesome for the super high stress days and yoga is great for the less stressful days... otherwise I cannot concentrate).

[Erin]

I guess it depends on what types of things are stressing you out. For me it is usually work, so I find it helpful to set limits. I say to myself "I am leaving work at 5" and I leave. I also set limits on the amount of home time and mental energy that I can spend on work... Just setting aside a few hours that are "off limits" helps a lot. And yeah, a beer or a glass of wine is usually involved in the unwinding. :)

[Keezheekoni]

Deus, I've noticed that in your posts you can be a little um...edgy. Is this how you are in real life? If so, your own attitude could be stressing you out. I know that if my kids are being obnoxious that normally I can just let it roll off my back, but there are times where they get me really angry and I want to lash out with words at them. When it's like that, I do feel stressed and can't relax at all. Maybe take a step back, look at your life, figure out who you want to be and what kind of person you want to be, and make a list of ways you can become that person.

Then again, maybe I'm off base and you already know what and who you are and you like yourself just fine... I don't know.

The things I do to relax are probably things that you're not interested in at all. Crocheting is a good way to relax. Of course, if you're really peeved at someone, that needle can become a lethal object... Take yourself out to a movie, get a massage, enjoy time out with friends doing something with them you've never done before. There are lots of things that you can do that are stress reducers. Maybe find a hobby?

[HollyB]

Yoga for me. I kinda hate exercise, but yoga is like taking a happy pill. I come out calm, de-knotted, and lovin' the world. For a while.

[Mich]

I mostly get stressed when I have a lot to accomplish. I find that making a list for the day and keeping a calendar help me to manage my schedule.

If a person is stressing me, I avoid them if possible. If not, I think of a response to give them that inwardly has another translation. A friend taught me this, he calmly said "that's nice" to anyone who was trying to get under his skin. Inwardly, he was meaning...well, it's not fit to print here. At least it brings a smile to your face.;)

Deep breaths, fast walking, stretching. Listening to music. Reading. All are my own form of Yoga. They do help me get through a stressful day.

Good luck in finding your own de-stressing path, Deus. Mich

[BriOnH]

Exercise, pills and sex.

I'd leave the pills out if I could function normally without them. Hopefully someday.

[DonnieD]

I had a real crisis in my life, which allowed me to put all the smaller things in perspective ... I am a different person now ...

Not that everyone can experience a life crisis on demand, but when you are stressing over the small stuff (and most of it IS small stuff) put yourself in the shoes of someone less fortunate ... someone with cancer, or someone who has lost a child, or someone going through a divorce.

I always ask myself "what are real important things in life" ... and the answer is almost never what I am stressing over.

[issysmommy]

I have to tell you that stress seems to be as fluctuating as my BGs for me. It seems to always be there, but how I deal with it is what helps or hurts me on the inside.

I have tried a bunch of things in the past...smoking, trying to fix others (especially my husband and step-kids), trying to organize or control something, overeating, obsessing on what I am eating, avoiding dealing with D, obsessing with dealing with D, exercise, yoga (my latest personal favorite), treadmill, weights...the list goes on.

However, the most lasting overall result I have found is the comfort in a personal relationship with the Lord. In fact, I find it offensive for someone to call what I have with the Lord religion...it is really a relationship (stronger than my marriage, my love for my daughter, anything I have had in my life). I don't believe in a specific denomination or doctrine, I just spend time daily growing in my relationship with God. I am able to grow most in that relationship by learning more about God and His Son through the Bible, connecting with other believers, and praying to God to share my heart with him.

I am very careful to not offend others with my relationship with Christ (for some reason Christianity seems to offend more people than Buddhism or any other "religion"), but I have found a huge amount of freedom in knowing that God loves me more than anything I can imagine.

Hope that helps...and I commend your openness in struggling with your stress. I think we really underestimate the effect stress has on our D.

[xMenace]

I play video games. With lots of explosions and shooting. Makes me feel better to blow up some innocent pixels. Or I go for a long walk if I can.

Halo Heavy Weapons! Right on!

Try smiling a lot too.

[KCP]

Can I just say for the person who suggested alcohol; it is actually a depressant so you may want to stay away from that..

[Chris Graham]

I'll cast another vote for yoga. I always leave class feeling so relaxed. It really helped me through some stressful times in my life. My classes were usually 50/50 men and women. I used to do hot yoga all the time, but haven't tried since being dx for a combo of reasons. They keep those rooms at 102 F so watch for low BGs with that practice.

[Jill-O]

My job can at times be pretty stressful. I'm a financial advisor / money manager for affluent / high net worth individuals and own my own practice with my father. I'm the OSJ which basically means I'm in charge of the operation in the eyes of the NASD. Just a lot of accountabilty all around plus there is an added stress factor when you work with family.

What I do to relax and just really put myself at peace isn't something many people can do (or would even want to), but I go and spend time either working with (grooming, driving, training) my miniature horses or even just HUG one of them. Just looking out my bedroom window at them milling around their paddocks centers me and makes me feel really happy and lucky.

So, my advice is to find that something special to you in your life and reflect on it and enjoy it. It works for me.

[Stuboy]

I find talking to someone i know and trust, or even someone i've never met (online preahps) about everything that is stressing me out. Often they can make you realise it's not that bad and it's all just being blown out of proportion. (often the case with me)

It might sound a little femanine (SORRY!! lol, i am NOT sexist but...) sometimes it also helps to clean up a little!! It makes things feel less cluttered (which can sometimes feel stressfull cuz everything is in the way all the time)

so in conclusion... a good chat and a cleaning session... i feel like a pansy now, THANKS! lol

[REDLAN]

my pennies worth on dealing with stress

yoga, relaxation, exercise and of course alcohol are all avoidance techniques - you don't actually deal with the stress directly.

interestingly if you ever listen to employers, then this their take on stress at work. Not to make the job less stressful, but to use avoidance techniques - after all there is nothing they can do to make the job less stressful, oh no that would be too much, but they can offer a relaxation class.

I'm not going to start a long rant about work related stress, I mention it because of the Health & Safety Executive (HSE) view on stress. Their view that you can reduce work related stress by dealing with those stressors applies equally to other environments as well. Their view is also that stress is an employers responsibility, but I digress...

identify your stressors, they can usually be identified as follows

1) Demands - too many demands, impossible deadlines etc cause stress.
2) Control - lack of control over events causes stress.
3) Relationships - the quality of the relationships you have with other people affect your experience of stress - bullying, harassment, are big causes of stress.
4) Role - lack of purpose or direction affect stress.
5) Change - dealing with change is stressful - made worse by the sense of uncertainty.

Deal with the stressors, and the stress goes away...

I think however people soldier on dealing with situations that are very stressful, because they are unable to admit that they are unable to cope, and usually dealing with a stressful situation means telling someone that you can't cope - this is often a very hard thing to do.

I have had to have time off work before due to stress, and have blown up at my wife because I was stressed. The hardest part is getting across is what you need not to be stressed - I really hate confrontations, and I especially hate admitting my weaknesses - but sometimes you just have to sort the situation out...

... and once it's dealt with then you can relax.

[HollyB]

I totally get what you're saying. Yoga works for me because overall the stress in my life is not excessive and it just reminds me to let unecessary fretting go, enjoy the moment and refocus myself. But many people are in fact subjected to unreasonable and harmful levels of stress, and the expectation seems to be that if they only "managed" it properly they would be fine. There is a ceiling to how much stress people can deal with and stay emotionally and physically healthy.

So back to Deus, maybe step one is figuring out: do you need to learn some ways to deal with normal stress better, or do you need to find ways to actually reduce the stress in your life? Or maybe both...