How much am I worth?

[Injecto]

I sat down today and decided to calculate how much I spend on diabetic supplies needed to keep me alive. I broked down all costs into price per units (ie. Lancets are 200/box, at $16.07/box which makes them .08cents each). Then I added up how much/many I use in a month. I included Lancets, Insulin, Infusion sets, Resevoirs, and Test Strips. So, at the end of the day (or month in this case) it costs me $536.25 Canadian dollars to sustain my life. If I amortize the cost of the pump over it's 4 year warranty then I'm at a whopping $669.57/month. And that's not including other things like food/glucose pills/alcohol swabs/batteries etc....all of which I need to.
If (and it's a BIG if) costs were to stay the same and as some of you say I MIGHT live to see 70 years of age (I'm going to be 32 soon), AND if costs don't change, AND my needs do not increase, and no inflation, it will cost $244,530 to keep me alive until 70. And that's not yet amortizing the pump. That would cost then $305,064.

So, the question is am I really worth that kind of money? Is it really worth spending all that money on keeping a person alive? I'm not upset at the moment or anything, I'm just working these things out in my head and figuring what's it all for?

[valc3]

You are worth it. Your life is more precious than money.

[KritterMom]

Of course you're worth it! It's what we HAVE to do to stay alive. I just feel very, very fortunate to have decent insurance. I really do feel bad for those without insurance. It's expensive, but a necessary expense. What would your family do without you? Thats what I have to ask myself sometimes. You are worth every penny of it Injecto!:D

[HollyB]

Daunting, though, isn't it? On the other hand, people spend 300,000 on a house all the time. You must be worth at least as much as a house.

[xMenace]

You might want to factor in a bit of inflation.

[andypoo]

The way I figure it,is that we are all worth much more than that,we're priceless. The stuff we all have to do to stay alive is incredible,really. I feel sorry for those that don't have insurance ,it is highway robbery what they endure,it's a crime,what happens to them. But Injecto,absolutely without a shaow of a doubt you are truly worth much,much more,believe it!

[xMenace]

... I'm just working these things out in my head and figuring what's it all for?

I came to terms with this sort of question watching my daughter enter the world. And the nice scholarship letter that came tonight reinforces it nicely. :smartass:

[nneighbour]

Are you on Trillium? It's a program from the Ontario Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care. It doesn't cover everything, but it certainly does cut the cost of most drugs/testing supplies. I was paying at least $300/month on drugs, and now my average cost is $85/quarter. For some reason they like to keep this program a secret, but it's open to anyone with high drug costs and an OHIP card. http://www.forms.ssb.gov.on.ca/mbs/ssb/forms/ssbforms.nsf/AttachDocsPublish/014-S46850E-87~13/$File/trillium_bookE_.pdf

[cheryl]

Wow you were in deep thought, but I get what you are saying, we have to pay to keep us alive and people who are healthy just have to eat and do the norm we have to go this extra mile, fair no, but worth it yes, all our lives are very precious.

Cheryl

[sydneya]

I must agree with everyone else. You and all of us are worth every bit as much as you spend on medicine and supplies. In fact, much more. Keep spending. You are priceless. Who knows? Maybe you'll be instrumental in finding a cure for diabetes, or becoming President, or raising a child. There is something important that you will do for that $$$$ you spend.

[Funnygrl]

I've done this before, and it's truly sad when I throw in the cost of my diabetes supplies, my asthma meds, and my reflux meds. If I add in acne stuff it's even worse.

[mg_2204]

So, the question is am I really worth that kind of money?

My answer will be simple : YES! x 100000 :)

[gettingby]

Injecto, you and the rest of us are definitely worth it.
I got into one of these figuring things out moods and sat down to figure up how many insulin injections I've taken. Made my head hurt. LOL.

[ladytaz]

Yep, you're definitely worth it!! ;) I feel ya tho! I haven't any insurance, and am having a difficult time financially right now ... my monthy costs are anywhere between $300 and $400 a month -depending upon what kind of 'deal' I can get on test strips, as that is my greatest expenditure. That doesn't count doc visits and lab tests ... those aren't every month tho, thankfully!!.

[soso]

Injecto
I often sit figuring out how much it's all costing (self employed no drug plan) with 2 diabetics in the house...and having a little mither about how we will afford it after we retire....DH just laughs and sez, well, what about all the food you are going to have to buy for the rest of your life too.....
In Ontario, does the Province kick in for your pump, or do you have to just stump up for it yourself? I rang (so called) 'Fair Pharmacare' here in BC which I think looks like the equivilent to the Trillium program and they do not cover pumps, period.. and only cover the sets and tubing and no other requirements for the pump... Also the way it works for us is that we pay all our drug costs and after we pass a set limit for the year (which they base on income not what drugs you actually use) they kick in 70% and then after another set amount they pay it all...but it all starts over every Jan 1st..the other wrinkle is that a lot of drugs are not covered and they are the expensive ones usually..For example my Insulin is only partly covered and when the endo wanted me to try Actos or Avandia it was out of the question anyway cos it's $5 per dose and not covered...Our pharmacare kicked in mid way through December last year, but thanks to my lovely doc I was able to at least score a bunch of test strips and needles at a lower price....
ss

[Injecto]

I find it kind of funny, but not in a ha ha way. We live in these "developed" countries where "life" is valued above anything else. We are guaranteed by the government that we will be kept alive at all costs. However, here is the problem. ONLY if you are in a hospital. So, as a diabetic the government won't shell out the money to help PROPERLY manage diabetes and thus delay or even PREVENT future complications. So they'd rather you sit at home, not treat yourself ((which is the opposite of what they SAY they want people to do, hypocrites). They put all their marketing into promoting proper self management but don't help shell out the $$$$ needed to accomplish the feat. Again, action speaks louder than words). Only after you have the severe complications and end up in a hospital needing treatment do they finally decide to "help out". Of course at that point it's really just damage control. And after they send you out of the hospital, you're on your own again. They'd rather spend all their money after the fact (factoring in Doctor/Surgeon labour costs/salary, nurses, equipment, electricity, room, cleaning, etc....amounting to possibly over what would be valued as hundred of thousands of dollars) then give you the measly $600.00/month you need to survive. Prevention is the key but that seems to go completely un-noticed in practice.

[belyro]

I find it kind of funny, but not in a ha ha way. We live in these "developed" countries where "life" is valued above anything else. We are guaranteed by the government that we will be kept alive at all costs. However, here is the problem. ONLY if you are in a hospital. So, as a diabetic the government won't shell out the money to help PROPERLY manage diabetes and thus delay or even PREVENT future complications. So they'd rather you sit at home, not treat yourself ((which is the opposite of what they SAY they want people to do, hypocrites). They put all their marketing into promoting proper self management but don't help shell out the $$$$ needed to accomplish the feat. Again, action speaks louder than words). Only after you have the severe complications and end up in a hospital needing treatment do they finally decide to "help out". Of course at that point it's really just damage control. And after they send you out of the hospital, you're on your own again. They'd rather spend all their money after the fact (factoring in Doctor/Surgeon labour costs/salary, nurses, equipment, electricity, room, cleaning, etc....amounting to possibly over what would be valued as hundred of thousands of dollars) then give you the measly $600.00/month you need to survive. Prevention is the key but that seems to go completely un-noticed in practice.

Amen

(That's all I wanted to write, but it's making me write more. There, is that enough?)

[princesslinda]

Injecto, I looked at your post....looked at your profile with the sweet picture of you and the little one in the hammock and, you know what, I have your answer. You're PRICELESS!...and I don't even KNOW you;) . You're worth whatever it takes to ensure that you'll be around to enjoy retirement, bounce all those future grandkids on your knees, take your wife on that 40th anniv. cruise and in general bless everyone with the wisdom you've learned from growing older and managing this disease.

Guess one "deep thought" deserves another, no?

[mzizgayle]

YOU ARE WORTH EVERY PENNY PLUS SOME. Life is precious and don't you forget it.

[cheryl]

oh your in deep thought lol again wow.........Can I ask what prevention is the key.......lol..............I don't know how I would of prevented my diabetes quite honestly.......unless I am reading that wrong, prevention of complications ummm or the gov't and medical field finding ways or how to prevent diabetes either type's.........I know too many questions, I am goofy today...

Cheryl

ps never mind i reread that i understand what you were saying now.....

[Injecto]

Can I ask what prevention is the key.......lol..............I don't know how I would of prevented my diabetes quite honestly.......unless I am reading that wrong, prevention of complications ummm or the gov't and medical field finding ways or how to prevent diabetes either type's.........

Yeah, I meant prevention of the future complications.


I'm just thinking out loud now. (going to stop the telepathy LOL )

I suppose I'm still not at the point where I fully accept that life is precious, or more precisely my own. I always get drawn back into thinking that I'm a writeoff. I didn't make the cut in this life. Again, I'm not really all that depressed at the moment. I'm actually somewhat fine (although I could see the argument that if I'm thinking this way that I am not "fine" LOL). I'm just caught up in thinking about life (particularly mine) in general, and how some people have everything and others don't know matter how much they try (and I'm sure there is every other modification in between those extremes).

Look at it this way. Imagine you are all omnipotent and staring down at the planet Earth. For the most part you see that people make it through life well enough. Be default there must be some that don't, and that's an acceptable loss. Those are the write-offs. Same thing seems can be said of the health care of the world. Certain treatments of diseases are considered acceptable if they have a certain percentage of positive outcome (not perfect, just positive). In some cases a 50% positive rate is acceptable. In others, 90% is great. No matter what there will be those that fall out of the range and though it may not be happy for those, as a health care professional, they are satisfied with the high rate of success. It just sucks if you are the exception, because for you, it's a 100% failure.


BTW, I asked the senior financial analyst at our company to help me out with the correct formula to account for inflation. So, assuming an currently accepted industry guidline inflation rate of 2.5% and counting ONLY until I live to 70 years old (which will have been 38 years with the disease by then), the future value of my current payments is $508,816.11 CAD funds.

:)

[soso]

BTW, I asked the senior financial analyst at our company to help me out with the correct formula to account for inflation. So, assuming an currently accepted industry guidline inflation rate of 2.5% and counting ONLY until I live to 70 years old (which will have been 38 years with the disease by then), the future value of my current payments is $508,816.11 CAD funds.

:)

Ackk! That's my retirement plans scuppered then........ss

[NoelD]

I was thinking this same thing when I walked out of my Target pharmacy yesterday with refills. Is it worth $600+ a month? That's like a high-end car payment that I'd never be able to pay off....

[Gangrel]

Alright, time to get philosphical........ (whooo, me?)

There was a time in my life that I had similar thoughts as many here, not really diabetes related.... but still "is it worth going on? What's the point?" yadda yadda yadda.

Many dark thoughts entered into my brain, examining my worth, my levels of happiness, how it could be all so easy to not worry about any of it anymore.

Thankfully, instead of picking up a gun or razor, I picked up a pen instead, and it became a lightining rod to get rid of all these thoughts. Poetry became my outlet, and I'm glad it did.

You ask what we are worth? I will tell you what I know *I* am worth. I am worth a smile from my close friend's 3 year old daughter, as "Uncle" Aaron comes over and reads Dora the Explorer. (if i'm not around, I'd miss this smile)

I am worth the advice/talks/hugs/compassion I give to my friends when they need it, virtual or otherwise. (if i'm not around, who helps them?)

I am worth becoming a REAL uncle (well, step-uncle) and having the sweetest and biggest smile I've ever seen on my lap as I bounce her on my knee! (if i'm not around, there is no uncle)

I am worth a pebble. A pebble goes into the water, and makes small waves and rings. But if you notice, the rings extend outwards, getting larger and larger, touching more and more of the water.

Every small thing you do on a daily basis, affects someone, something, someHOW. If you decide that $600 isn't worth it, that's your perogative.

To me, the people i know, the friends I hug and e-hug(you know who you are) and the joy I (apparently) can bring 3 year old's is worth farrrr more then a measely $600 a month.

[Injecto]

Now, I'm not saying $600/month isn't worth it, but at the same time I question what the worth of that $600 is. It's only natural to wonder, I just need to know how to shut off that part of my that "wonders" a bit too much. But what a great place this is to let that "wonder" out and get other's perspectives 'ness pas? (I'm not even sure if that's how it's spelled :confused: :) )

I get a tremendous amount of joy watching my 13 month old laugh as I bounce her.

My heart melts when I see my 4 year old look up to me and smile when she's proud of spelling her name.

And I simply adore watching my 7 year old become more of a "big" girl with all her "big girl" ideas now.

But when everyone is asleep, or I'm alone in the car on my drive home from work it's hard not to let my mortal mind start to think about the darker side of life (Not the razor/gun/toaster in the bathtub dark side, but the "it's just not a perfect world out there dark side :) ).

I thank all of you for philosophizing with me....it helps dearly, if only you knew how much.

[ladytaz]

[QUOTE=Injecto;200912] it's just not a perfect world out there dark side :)
QUOTE]


Nope, it sure ain't and I don't think that's ever going to change, at least not in our lifetime. So all we can really do is make the best of what we've got! ;)

I do like you tho, in my alone times, I think about the more serious side of life. I think most of us do. Just human nature I suppose ;)

[ClaireZk]

I think maybe my perspective is different, because I was diagnosed as a child OR maybe its because I'm full of myself, but I have never asked "am I worth it?" Of course I am! I don't have a choice. Unfortunately, none of us do.

I agree that our medical/insurance system in the "civilized world" is messed up. But we are fortunate that we have medicine and proper care at our disposal, however expensive. I've been frustrated plenty of times, but I feel good knowing that if I'd been born 50 years ago, I wouldn't have survived some of the things modern medicine has gotten me through.

I guess what I'm saying is that its impossible to put a value on life. I always to tell myself that considering how bad things COULD be, I am lucky. Things could be a lot worse.

Sorry for the rant. I'm getting off my high horse now :o

[kel4han]

Ohhhh Injecto.....SIGH.....You are truely someone like me, that CAN wonder to much. I think it is a good thing, for the most part as far as keeping us REAL. I think alot of people go on their happy way all day without questioning anything in their lives. I wish sometimes, I could be that person just so my busy mind could rest! As I see my dad now dependant on dialysis, I cant help but wonder if this day to day struggle is "worth it" I think we just imagine a greater misery as an end result of this disease, and we think..... "OH #$@# !!! Just screw this then, why do I fight fight fight everyday if I may die slowly, suffering. You are not the only one that wonders, I am there with ya! I think alot of our wondering is the age of onset, our lives before are still fresh in our minds, whereas Juvenile onset just IS how that person lives. I feel really guilty, and sad that my 6 yr old will never remember life before her diagnosis. So carefree and "simple" But, then I see so many amazing, determined, strong people here, and realize she really will be stronger becuase of this, and I doubt she will never "wonder" what life is like being non-diabetic. Anyway...off topic there, but your intellect and insight to me, is fascinating. You put things into words that I cant explain to other people....I was trying to explain this same "wonder" to my husband the other day and I think I freaked him out, he is afraid I am going to overdose myself! My friends have thought I am crazy! LOL Maybe I will start forwarding your threads and posts to make MYSELF clear! :D

[June91]

I won't even go into how much every single person is worth...

What bugs me is that the cost could be a third of $600 and that someone is not simply making money (which is just fine), but raking in obscene amounts because we simply have no choice.

And it's even worse if you're not in the civilized world, trust me.

[blacklightmike]

My wife was filling my scrips for the first time after my last hospital stay, and it was for a bunch of new stuff, including syringes and insulin for the first time. She had to call me to ask a question, and afterward she was paying the bill, which was quite large.

She asked the pharmacist if I was worth it, and the pharmacist said, "he must be, you just told him you loved him on the phone."

Seriously, my Aetna copay will be double what it is now as of April 1. Ouch.

[andypoo]

[QUOTE=Gangrel;200893]Alright, time to get philosphical........ (whooo, me?)
Poetry became my outlet, and I'm glad it did.

You ask what we are worth? I will tell you what I know *I* am worth. I am worth a smile from my close friend's 3 year old daughter, as "Uncle" Aaron comes over and reads Dora the Explorer. (if i'm not around, I'd miss this smile)

I am worth the advice/talks/hugs/compassion I give to my friends when they need it, virtual or otherwise. (if i'm not around, who helps them?)

I am worth becoming a REAL uncle (well, step-uncle) and having the sweetest and biggest smile I've ever seen on my lap as I bounce her on my knee! (if i'm not around, there is no uncle)

I am worth a pebble. A pebble goes into the water, and makes small waves and rings. But if you notice, the rings extend outwards, getting larger and larger, touching more and more of the water.

Every small thing you do on a daily basis, affects someone, something, someHOW.

[QUOTE=Injecto;200912]
I get a tremendous amount of joy watching my 13 month old laugh as I bounce her.

My heart melts when I see my 4 year old look up to me and smile when she's proud of spelling her name.

And I simply adore watching my 7 year old become more of a "big" girl with all her "big girl" ideas now.

But when everyone is asleep, or I'm alone in the car on my drive home from work it's hard not to let my mortal mind start to think about the darker side of life (Not the razor/gun/toaster in the bathtub dark side, but the "it's just not a perfect world out there dark side :) ).




You guys are killing me here,When I read your posts, my heart just melted. You men don't get enough credit and I think your significant others are the luckiest girls in the world I have never in my life been touched more ,than I have since I joined this forum. Gangrel and Injecto, both of you guys, I hope God looks down on you and touches you in a way,that for you Injecto, your worries will just up and go away and something most wonderful happens for you to help you and keep you healthy and successful and happy. So that you can spend a long life with your children and wife and have the things you want in this life.
And Gangrel ,my gosh what can I say?. You found it already,you've got it! I hope God enables you to keep on blessing people with your gift of poetry and writing these thoughts and feelings on life and living, you are so inspirational to everyone around you. Your wife and kids are truly blessed to have you in their life. Both of you, I do not know you,really ,but I know enough to feel a love in my heart for two truly decent,compassionate human beings.

[Injecto]

Both of you, I do not know you,really ,but I know enough to feel a love in my heart for two truly decent,compassionate human beings.

Now you're making me blush....

:)

Thank you.

[Injecto]

Ohhhh Injecto.....SIGH.....You are truely someone like me, that CAN wonder to much. I think it is a good thing, for the most part as far as keeping us REAL. I think alot of people go on their happy way all day without questioning anything in their lives. I wish sometimes, I could be that person just so my busy mind could rest! As I see my dad now dependant on dialysis, I cant help but wonder if this day to day struggle is "worth it" I think we just imagine a greater misery as an end result of this disease, and we think..... "OH #$@# !!! Just screw this then, why do I fight fight fight everyday if I may die slowly, suffering. You are not the only one that wonders, I am there with ya! I think alot of our wondering is the age of onset, our lives before are still fresh in our minds, whereas Juvenile onset just IS how that person lives. I feel really guilty, and sad that my 6 yr old will never remember life before her diagnosis. So carefree and "simple" But, then I see so many amazing, determined, strong people here, and realize she really will be stronger becuase of this, and I doubt she will never "wonder" what life is like being non-diabetic. Anyway...off topic there, but your intellect and insight to me, is fascinating. You put things into words that I cant explain to other people....I was trying to explain this same "wonder" to my husband the other day and I think I freaked him out, he is afraid I am going to overdose myself! My friends have thought I am crazy! LOL Maybe I will start forwarding your threads and posts to make MYSELF clear! :D

Hey Kel4han,

I'm glad that you can "relate" to the way I express myself. Perhaps that is my "calling" in life, to provide others with clear meaning and intent in writing. LOL :)

By all means, if it helps, please let your husband read so that he may understand you better. God knows since dx I have issues with my wife (or she does with me, or both ways or ARGGGG!!!! :eek: ). Hopefully we get through this terrible moment in our lives, and even better, hopefully we do it together.