Wife of diabetic.

[catty]

Hi
Just wanted to say hi and let you know I am married to a man who has diabetes. Is there any partners of diabetics on here?? Some days (i am sure the diabetics here will boo hoo me here)it is hard work living with a diabetic (and yes I know it is hard living with diabetes I am saying this with a smile ;) ) .

I feel so helpless to help and understand it. I generally pick his hypos before he does (he has had it for 20 years and he doesn't have the symptoms as much any more).

One way is he is really cranky with us and we generally start having a fight so now I keep my mouth shut and go and get his tester and hand it to him. I normally get the response of 'i am not having a hypo .....' but he normally is. or another thing is in the night if his legs feel clamy he is normally having one and I wake him up.

If you have any ideas of how to be a better wife to help and assist then I would be grateful.

Food is always a prob... as 4 of us are gluten intolerant. Carbs always lack in our meals... :confused:

Thanks for listening...

[Harold]

Sounds like your doing a great job!

[sweetcheeks]

Food is always a prob... as 4 of us are gluten intolerant. Carbs always lack in our meals... :confused:


Thats actually a good thing :) If you eat too many carbs your BGL goes up....

But the bad thing is, he could have more hypos that way. Carbs help the hypos. But not eating so many helps keep the average BGL lower.

[kgm0612]

HI & Welcome Catty.

Wow......when I started reading your post, I actually thought you were my sister-in-law incognito.....LOL. My younger brother, also a type 1 for almost 20 years, is downright mean & rude to his wife when he is having a low because he has hypo unawareness. You are doing the right thing by keeping your mouth shut and not arguing with him. There's been many times when I've had to speak up and tell him to go test and have something to eat. He acts like an idiot!

Karen

[princesslinda]

Welcome Cat! As the child of a diabetic mother, as well as being a relatively newly diagnosed diabetic myself, I sympathize with anyone who has daily dealings with diabetes....it's all-consuming and frustrating at times for everyone involved. Fortunately for me, I'm not on a medication which causes me to have hypos. I do, however, worry and obsess about what might happen down the road and, if I didn't have this forum to "take the edge off," my husband would probably worry about me way more than he does.

I'd suggest that you get your husband on-board, let him meet other diabetics, many who are probably in his same situation. This will give him someone to vent to and learn from and might actually give you a much-needed break. It's great that you found the forum...it has truly been a lifesaver on my diabetic journey.

You hang in there...i'm know it's tough living each day with diabetes in someone you love. Yes, it's tough when you have diabetes, but it's even tougher watching someone you love have it and deal with it...I know, as I've been on both sides of this equation.

Take care,
Linda

[Gordonm]

Being a diabetic myself I cannot comment on what it is like to be the spouse. I do give my wife of 20 years a lot of credit. I don't know if I could have done it or would have wanted to take all of this on. I have had D for 33 years now and have been in great control and very few problems. I know I get short with her and the kids when I am low and she knows to leave me alone most of the time. She cooks very healthy food and I thank her for it. We both execise a lot together and this has helped. She has been very supportive and knows when not to push it. She wanted me on the pump years ago and I refused. She let off. I finally decided to get one and it has changed mylife. She will never understand the daily grind I/we as diabetics go through but she does her best and I appriciate it very much. Good luck and stay healthy.

[jeggeman31]

Just wanted to say hi and let you know I am married to a man who has diabetes. Some days (i am sure the diabetics here will boo hoo me here)it is hard work living with a diabetic .

HI & Welcome Catty.

Wow......when I started reading your post, I actually thought you were my sister-in-law

Karen I was thinking she was my wife. :D Because my wife says that all the time.


Catty welcome to the board. Introduce him to the board, and let him talk to others that are just like him.

[Christinety]

Hi Cathy,
I am the wife of a diabetic also. You are probably much more experienced than i am. My husband was just diagnosed in January. The biggest thing that I have learned so far is that as the spouse of a diabetic, we have to be there for support. But the truth is that this is our spouses disease and they need to be the ones to take charge of it. Because if we try to (or maybe it's just me ;)) then it just becomes us nagging about something else.
Welcome to the board!
christine

[xMenace]

One of the big reasons I went on a pump was my fluctuations were hard on my wife and kids - mid-night hypos, ambulance trips, passing out, etc.

I am soo much better controlled now. My wife is much happier, my kids are less scared of mid-night EMO invasions, and my A1C is pretty ****ed good.

Check out pump therapy.

[xMenace]

Hi
... I normally get the response of 'i am not having a hypo .....' but he normally is. or another thing is in the night if his legs feel clamy he is normally having one and I wake him up...

<<---that's me ;)

[notme]

Hi Catty and welcome to the forums. I am the person with diabetes in my family and my husband is always helpful. My children grew up with me having diabetes as my grandchildren are now. The sweetest moment in my life is when I was low and my granddaughter wanted to give up her ice cream cone to her gramma because "she needed food". My granddaughter was two.

I think sometimes spouses or family members have it as hard as the person with diabetes. I get cranky also sometimes or darn right obstinant about eating foods when low. Bless you all for being there!

[shockme]

welcome catty!sounds like you're doing a good job!i'm the diabetic in the family,so i can't personally relate,but i can sympathize.have your hubby join us!take care,trish

[Maddogg]

Hi
Just wanted to say hi and let you know I am married to a man who has diabetes. Is there any partners of diabetics on here?? Some days (i am sure the diabetics here will boo hoo me here)it is hard work living with a diabetic (and yes I know it is hard living with diabetes I am saying this with a smile ;) ) .

I feel so helpless to help and understand it. I generally pick his hypos before he does (he has had it for 20 years and he doesn't have the symptoms as much any more).

One way is he is really cranky with us and we generally start having a fight so now I keep my mouth shut and go and get his tester and hand it to him. I normally get the response of 'i am not having a hypo .....' but he normally is. or another thing is in the night if his legs feel clamy he is normally having one and I wake him up.

If you have any ideas of how to be a better wife to help and assist then I would be grateful.

Food is always a prob... as 4 of us are gluten intolerant. Carbs always lack in our meals... :confused:

Thanks for listening...

Sounds like you're doing a good job as a wife, seems like you're loking after your hubby's health and thats great!
My common law girlfriend can also usually tell that i'm having a hypo before I myself admit it, and it kinda bugs me when she says i'm low when i don't feel low, but at least I know she cares.
Only advice I can give you is show some patience with your man (especially when he's hypoglycemic) and show that you care about his life and well being, which you seem to be doing already...

Lots of great advice and help on this forum so Welcome to the site!

[It Ain't Over]

One of the big reasons I went on a pump was my fluctuations were hard on my wife and kids - mid-night hypos, ambulance trips, passing out, etc.

I am soo much better controlled now. My wife is much happier, my kids are less scared of mid-night EMO invasions, and my A1C is pretty ****ed good.

Check out pump therapy.

This is the truth. After a few late night calls and waking up to Firemen, I got the pump. Have had only one of those since. That has been over a long period of years. My wife says my personality has improved and she is no longer afraid of a hypo with me.

[ladytaz]

Hi Catty! Firstly, :five: to you for taking such an active and supporting role!! Alot of us don't exactly have that! My hubby's good, but he doesn't quite "get it". Not that he's got lots of time to learn about it, he's rarely home because of the work he does. But he is at least supportive as best he can be :) I also would suggest you get hubby to "come on board"!! It REALLY does help to have those "in the know" to talk about things with! :wink: Anyway, just wanted to say welcome to DF! You'll find lots of info and super great helpful, supportive and kind people here!

[Marie]

Hello Catty,
I absolutly know how you feel as I am the girlfriend of a diabetic type 1 and I very often suffer when he has his hypos and gets very difficult but as I know him meanwhile I know like you to keep my mouth shut. However I know that deep in his heart he is very grateful and most of the time he shows it by supporting me if I need something and thats the thing which is important in a relationship.
Generelly I am very glad that this forum exists as there are so many supportive and lovely people who always give me hope and give me a smile :)
P.S.: please all excuse my poor english, hopefully it is a little bit understandable what I want to say :)

[orsaugen]

Hi Catty:
As a Type 1 diabetic for 63 years I can sympathize with you and I fully understand and can appreciate understand your hardship. If you haven't already read it I warmly recommend the book Pumping Insulin by John Walsh and Ruth Roberts (paperback, $16.29 at Amazon.com). Whether your hubby uses a pump or not this book is chock-a-block full of good practical advice and has very insightful tips on how to deal with him if he should ever slip into a hypoglycemic episode when he is unable to give you any assistance and can come acrosss as downright obstreperous. Good luck!

[Opal]

Catty, I'm sure your husband is truely thankful to have you to be there and support him even if he doesn't say it out loud - I don't know what I'd do without my supportive partner! When I'm having a nasty hypo it makes all the difference to have him hold me or get me a drink to wash down the dextrose without me saying a word.