A small goodbye

[Injecto]

I didn’t want to just not show up anymore as there are several of you who show you caring regularly. I figured I owed you a small explanation why I will not be around in the next little while (plus, one person on this board has told me that I should leave, at least for a while).

8 months ago when I was diagnosed with diabetes I was scared for my life. I was scared for the hardships I would have to endure to keep in control and eventually lead to complications and ultimately my death. I was saddened to think I would not see my children grow up, get married, see my grandchildren, and most of all I was heartbroken that I would eventually leave my wife alone in our old age. I wasn’t going to be there for her, grow old together etc…

Finally, after 8 months of anxiety and depression, I was starting to feel some control of my anxiety, not being so scared of the future (and dare I say hopeful). I’ve been easing up on my control and frequent testing, feeling more confident.

The irony, is that after all of this, and finally feeling hopeful, I’ve now lost my wife. She can no longer take any of this. My biggest fear in life, and what concerned me the most in my diagnosis, has now come to fruition. I will now lose my wife and kids. 8 months and 1 week ago I would have NEVER expected this. This was nowhere near the table, far far far from any thoughts in my mind. I’m at a loss for words.

This site has been a “health” blessing. I’ve learned more from this site alone than from any doctor, educator, or other diabetes info source. I thank all of you who make this the most incredible diabetes source of help. Unfortunately, my needs now are far beyond the scope of this site, and I’ve achieved, at this point in time, the ultimate in control that a diabetic can (thanks again to so many of you).

Perhaps I will pop back in if I have some control issues, and maybe a note like this is a little over the top, whatever. It’s who I am and what has become of me (and if you don’t like it, just imagine how I feel). Over these many months I’ve gone through so much more than I can handle.

Thanks again.

[caswellhb]

Goodness, I am so sorry you are going through all this. How awful for you and your family.
It is a shame that you have chosen now to leave us as there are some wonderful, supportive people here.
Don't be a complete stranger.

Heather.

[gettingby]

Injecto, I'm sorry that you are going through all of this. I am also sorry that you feel you must leave. Just because one person thinks it, does not mean that we all do.:mad: We will always be here to help if you need it. Please don't go but if you feel you must, I wish you all of the luck in the world. Take care and please, do come back.

[valc3]

Injecto, I'm sorry to hear you are going through bad times. I hope you reconsider leaving, as gettingby said above, not everyone thinks you should leave. We are here for you. Take care of yourself.

[Penny]

I agree with the others, we do not want you to leave. Maybe we can help you get through this, I am sure there are many who have been through this same situation who could offer you some help. If you feel you have to go, remember where we are, we will be waiting here for you.

[notme]

Diabetes brought us together, but friendship keeps us together. Please don't leave. Hopefully, your friends can help.

[Who?]

Perhaps whoever suggested that you leave would be happier on a different forum.

Stick around, share what you want to, and just lurk the rest of the time.

[grace girl]

Perhaps whoever suggested that you leave would be happier on a different forum.

That, right there. I personally have learned a great deal from all of your questions and discussions, and I'd hate to see you leave.
I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. I hope you'll reconsider not coming around too much. Though this forum is about D, it's really about the people who are dealing with it. All of us have a life aside from D, some good, some not so good. But we can all help each other with anything simply because of that one common thing that bonds us all together.
I'll be praying for you and your family.

[gettingby]

Diabetes brought us together, but friendship keeps us together. Please don't leave. Hopefully, your friends can help.
Word, Nancy !!!!!

Perhaps whoever suggested that you leave would be happier on a different forum.
Was thinking the same thing myself but didn't want to offend anyone.

That, right there. I personally have learned a great deal from all of your questions and discussions, and I'd hate to see you leave.
I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. I hope you'll reconsider not coming around too much. Though this forum is about D, it's really about the people who are dealing with it. All of us have a life aside from D, some good, some not so good. But we can all help each other with anything simply because of that one common thing that bonds us all together.
I'll be praying for you and your family.
Well said grace girl!! Well said !!

[Dewey]

Injecto, I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. I don't know who said you should leave, but they were totally wrong. You've contributed a great deal here & offered alot of help in your posts, and I'd personally hate to see you go, or have you feeling like you did/do not want to be here. If you could please PM me, perhaps I or one of the other mods can help? Please don't let one person's comments make you feel compelled to leave.

Though I may not always say it, there are often times I'm in full agreement with the things you say, and you've Always been very tactful about things. Please don't go, and please PM me if I can be of help. Thanks!

[mzteacher]

dear injecto....i am so very sorry for what you are going through....i am fairly new to this forum...but have done much "back" reading...i too have enjoyed what you have written.....my guess is just as there are many here who have helped you with you diabetes there are many here who have experienced a broken heart....princess linda always suggest a book for us newly diagnosed...i would like to suggest you read "how to survive the loss of a love" it is a long time favorite and any bookstore will know the authors....it is not a how to book it is written by three authors one of which is a poet.....it is a book you pick up and read parts and will find you can connect with.....there is also a workbook you can get if you think it would help on amazon.....i have given many of these books to friends over the years....it can help with any kind of loss...job, friendship ...i may even find it helps with this loss of the health i thought i had......good luck to you and your family....my son once told his dad "one phone call every sunday night and you would have been a hero" i am sure you can get through this difficult time and come out their hero....
best of luck to you...

[LauRa Lu]

No no no please don't leave.

We're all here to listen and help for diabetic and non-diabetic issues.

Don't leave you've got some good friends here who want to listen and understand.
((hug))

[bryan42]

:( Im so sorry Injecto for what your going thru, but take comfort in this, God has a plan for you, and one day you will know why things come to pass. Dont EVER apologize for sharing whats on your mind, we are all only human and need each other more than some people want to admit.
I didnt know you all that well, although you and I have spoken a couple of times, but your leaving is like a missing piece of the puzzle, oh sure we can fininsh the puzzle without you, but there will always be that void that your leaving leaves behind. :( God Bless you..Bryan

[soso]

Hi Injecto
though I can appreciate you are in so much pain and might need to be alone right now, reserve the thought that you don't need to leave, just take some time off to yourself and maybe soon enough you will want to come back.. maybe you will want to talk about your family matters and maybe you would prefer not to...I am sure nobody would want to press you on that...
sounds to me like you will be very missed ( I have also always enjoyed your posts and found them very thought provoking and honest)

I hope you can have a happy ending to your problems and send my sympathies in bucketloads, we all go though these sadnesses and if we can be there for you to lean on, we will
take care
ss

[HollyB]

Hey,

I, too, am so sorry to hear about your family troubles. To say this is a tough year for you is an understatement. Don't be a stranger -- and I hope you will do everything you can to keep on seeing your kids. They need you -- and they will give you a reason to stick with things. All my best wishes...

[Keezheekoni]

I hope that your family life gets sorted out, though at this time it's when you need the support of your friends the most. Trust me, I've been through two divorces. They aren't easy. :( I wouldn't have made it without my friends (and most of them were online friends!)

Hugs to you!

[BriOnH]

That reads like a breakup letter in more ways then one.

I am sorry your marriage is more then on the rocks. I am sure that is extremely diffcult to endure. I would be crushed as well.

While diabetes is the main theme of this wonderful site, it is not the only thing that can be discussed. Before being diabetic, we are people. People go through many similar situations; I think you are wrong that you need to leave to get help. As a matter of fact with all of the good friends you have made here, that have exchanged wonderful life lessons, that I am sure extend past diabetes, it would seem that would in fact be more detremental.

I don't know who told you, you should leave the forums for a while, and I don't know both sides of the story, but from what I can tell that person is either a deuche or just wrong.

[shockme]

please don't leave!injecto-i'm a fairly new member here,but i always enjoyed your posts alot!i am so sorry about your family problems.and whoever told you that you needed to leave was wrong,imho!we're here to help each other,as people-not just diabetics.take care,trish

[Funnygrl]

Injecto, I wish you didn't feel you had to leave, but your family comes first. If you feel leaving here temporarily will help that situation, more power to you, and I wish you the best of luck with resolving that issue.

If you feel there's any way you can stay and still resolve the issues, please stay :D

[camjen1]

I don't think anyone said that he should leave because they feel he doesn't belong on the forum I think it was meant as leave the forum and take some time to yourself type of deal. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

With that being said Injecto I hope you get things straightened out and please don't worry about us here. We'll still be here when you get back. :)

[shabbie6247]

injecto, please pop back often. our prayers and love are with you on this difficult path.

(((HUGS)))

[Goldrun]

Hi Injecto....everyone's already said the things that pop in my mind....so, take care, and I hope things take a turn for the better with your family!

Please stay on...as everyone said, your posts are well done and bring up great issues and your viewpoints are well taken!
take care

[blacklightmike]

Ya can't hear it enough, brother... we're here for you, and wish you strength through this crisis. I hope things go as smoothly as they can during this trying time, and I also hope you remember that we're always here to listen, on and off (blacklightmike@comcast.net) the boards. You're in my thoughts and prayers, Injecto.

[GhostRydr]

I'm sorry to hear this, and not having been here long don't have a lot of history with many folks.

Hang in there, and come here for support as always.

Best to you,

[Emm]

Picture me with a little tear in my eye and wobbling chin
I'm down on my knees wrapping my arms around your legs
And I'm screaming: DON'T GO!!!!

You probably don't realise how much you're appreciated around here - We're typical human beings and don't say it enough. But please, injecto - you're treasured! We love you! Your wisdom, your brilliant posts, your kind words... please stay!

[andypoo]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON"T GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! You are NEEDED HERE! Please Don't Go Away! Listen, me and my husband have "broken up" Millions of times,its just anger and hurt talking. She can't leave you Injecto. Maybe you two just need a little time apart,that's all. A little time apart never hurt anybody. Just don't go nuts over it,I know it can feel so devastaing ,I think as diabetics go most of us can be very, very emotional. You've got to take hold of yourself and get strong and take care of yourself,I know we can be hard on everyone around us,but if it's depression or anger,whatever it is that caused this breakup can be helped. Go to a support group ,well ....we are a support group,aren't we. Just stay please we can all talk to you. Or maybe you need a break from us for a while,just don't say good-bye,it'll get better,I promise. You'll be in my prayers and so will your wife and kids. Just don't do anything CRAZY!I want to know how you are doing, I mean it! I want you to POST once in a while,at least

[cheryl]

I understand why you feel the way you do. I am not going to say everything that I started to write at the beginning, but I understand more then you know where you are coming from.....with all of it, even the spouse leaving part, it has happened to me three times in the past two months.....

I hope you check in here and there. I hope things get worked out for you.....

I wish i could say more but I don't really want too, cause my writing sucks LOL

Cheryl

[tanyatype1]

Oh Injecto, I'm sooooo sorry to hear that you're going through such a terrible time. I'll definately miss you and wish that you weren't leaving. Hopefully you'll change you're mind. You're not alone brother. We care about you. Like others have said, support is support - wherever it comes from. I wish that we could help you through this. I'll be thinkin' of ya - (((hugs)))

[June91]

I believe that since gaining control of his diabetes grew beyond realistic and into an obsession which ultimately took a toll on the most important relationship in his life, as well as leaving him feeling anxious and depressed, Injecto is right to take a break or minimize time he spends on DF if he feels it in any way contributes to the situation.

I don't want to see him go any more than anyone here, but I am sure Injecto knows what's best for him and hope we can all support his decision.

Having said that, I certainly consider myself lucky to have found this place and would find it difficult to leave my supportive, knowledgeable, tolerant, kind, funny and dependable Dysfunctional Family. :love:

[princesslinda]

Injecto: I was so saddened to read your post....I'm sad for you and the situation you are facing with your marriage, and I'm saddened that you won't be posting for awhile..I've always enjoyed your posts and the eloquent ways you've expressed what many of us feel/think. I think we were diagnosed around the same time and the forum provided a great outlet for our fears.

That being said, you have to do what's best for you and your family at this point. Hang in there and don't give up without a fight. You and your wife and family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully, things will work out the way you want them to and this will be something that will make you both stronger.

Take care,
Linda

[June91]

On second thought, check out how hot this thread is. People screaming and chanting: STAY IN-JEC-TO!!! STAY IN-JEC-TO!!! :D

[Cyborg]

Injecto, best wishes getting through this. Don't believe your wife's excuse of your diabetes being the cause. Good luck...

[Gangrel]

Injecto, best wishes getting through this. Don't believe your wife's excuse of your diabetes being the cause. Good luck...

I don't think his wife is blaming his diabetes at all, or at least that's not what i got from his message??

I remember ages ago when there was lots of discussion about anxiety and diabetes that Injecto mentioned having problems even BEFORE getting diabetes, but that diabetes was making it harder to deal with..... That is the same story that many others had talked about on here as well.

I don't know any more then what's in this thread, but I can say a few things.....

The problem ISN'T diabetes..... it's learning how to deal with anxiety. Speaking as not an anxiety sufferer, but from the "other side", I know how much of a struggle it is for people who suffer with anxiety disorders. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE realize it is ALSO a struggle for those around them, no matter HOW much you love them.

Not everyone can be "the rock" for someone to lean on, and you know what? At times, even those of us who ARE good "rocks" can crack and have moments of doubt, of wishes, of wanting to run away and escape it all.

I am not going to attempt a guess to say this is the issue, or what's happened or not, but if it is, it takes work on BOTH sides. I think a break to take pause, and find yourself is necessary sometimes.

I severly hope that both Injecto and his wife get the help and the answers they need....... and if by him never coming here again it helps him deal with his anxiety and whatever other problems there are, that is a price I would be willing to pay to help a family stay a family.

[andypoo]

Gangrel said it right.............................

[belyro]

I just wanted to let you guys know that I have passed the posts in this thread along to Injecto via email, to read if he wants to. It's great support for him, and if he's able to read it I'm sure he'll appreciate it. Still, please don't be offended if he does not respond and/or does not come back for a while. He's doing what he feels he needs to do...and he knows what he needs more than we know what he needs.

If anyone has any messages they'd like to pass along to him, you can PM me and I'll email them to him.

[jvetter18]

If anyone was caught by surprise by this, like me, and didn't have time to do the digging, i think that this post by Injecto sheds some light on things:

Gangrel, you are right. Personality has a HUGE impact on the way you think and act. I'm working on becoming more relaxed, but it's now taking my two times as much work since the diagnosis of D gave me a huge kick in the groin and laid me down on the floor big time. Don't worry about straying from the topic, that's the nature of a conversation and you brought up serves as a great model to strive to live up to. I can only hope that one day I will be just like that.

Problem is I am and always have been a "forward thinker", planning my future, delaying current pleasures for bigger and greater rewards later in life. Of course, health was just assumed (and necessary) and now my outlook is pretty grim. I can't let that go. I just can't accept that my ticket may be up when I'm 50, or 60, or 70 for that matter. But that's 39 years away now and I no longer see a light at the end of the tunnel. Long complicated story short, I was supposed to be some hot shot accountant, and perhaps become a controller one day for some small company, and finally get the house I wanted, on a property I liked, give my girls and wife what they deserve, and finally get my boat and cottage up north where I can get away from it all. We live a pretty basic boring life, in a very small house. We don't go to the movies, we don't go to restaurants, we've put off big trips and vacations, big purchases etc.. all so that we can afford the schooling until I finally "made it". The formula was simple. Live small now (to save), and live BIG later. But, at diagnosis it all came crashing down HARD and FAST. I just quit my classes and the program. I can't handle it anymore, and I figured, what's the point? I just wasn't meant to have what I've been working towards all these years. It's as if "someone" was giving me a sign to "stop it", and now I've listened (There have been MANY hurdles, and each one got harder, this was just the straw that broke the camel's back).

Maybe that's not the way it "really" is, and maybe it is. I don't know, but right now one thing is clear, that is exactly how it all feels to me.

I know, it all sounds depressing (and it is). I'm not meaning to get all down, and I don't want to stir people up in any negative way as that is NOT my intention. In some weird way I don't always feel completely upset about it. I get by, day by day, some worse than others. This forum helps, in more ways than many of you can imagine, or perhaps you can. The DF and its memebers are a blessing.

(Now I've just let many of you into a very personal side of my life, which is kind of scary to let out in public, not sure if I should have, but I needed to get it out for some reason).


i sincerely hope that he can work everything out. i always liked his posts. Seems as though they need to work out some deeper issues than just the time he spends on this forum.

[Gangrel]

i sincerely hope that he can work everything out. i always liked his posts. Seems as though they need to work out some deeper issues than just the time he spends on this forum.

The issue is NOT with the time he spends on the forum. He has never mentioned that in any posts AT ALL.

I would have to believe he is taking a break from ALL computer/fun/TV watching/baseball watching activities to focus on fixing his relationship.

Him taking a break is NOTHING more then that, from what I can see.

[trailrunner]

Injecto, Who gives a #$%^ what other people think ! However it's your choice. Good luck. I truly wish you the best. Please don't be a stranger. I hope everything works it's way out. Luv Ya.

[Who?]

Injecto;

How you are at 50, 60 or 70 depends heavily on how you deal with your diabetes now.

[Cyborg]

Gangrel, I don't agree... Depression and anxiety are major side effects of diabetes. Granted there may have been marital "issues" before the big D, but it surely seems like another spouse or significant other trying to get out of a relationship by blaming diabetes...

[mg_2204]

I wish I could find the right words or come up with something very clever that would make things better. But know that I really felt your pain.

I love this place. It's great. I couldn't do without it. You've mentioned the forums helping you a lot... so how about coming under another name then? For a little while. Until you feel better inside.

There is nothing wrong with you. Diabetes is only a part of your life, it's not your entire life. Diabetes doesn't define who you are, nor does it define your worth.

Don't forget that some people have a really hard time dealing with health issues, even when it's not them having the problems...! My husband has a really hard time with the fact I have diabetes. He hates it when I test in public. He'd rather I keep my diabetes behind closed doors. Am I less of a person because of that stupid disease called diabetes? No.

Wishing you the very best with all my heart.

[belyro]

Out of respect to Injecto, can we please make an effort not to speculate what's going on outside of what he's posted. We don't know the whole story and it's really not our business.

I know firsthand that this thread was started by Injecto primarily as an explanation for why he may be gone for a little while - or a long while - or for good.....not for others to start getting upset at him or his wife or anyone else on his behalf. Let's respect that.

[hannahanne]

Injecto,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. Life is always stressful, and when diabetes is piled on top of everthing the stress can be too much to bear at times.

8 months ago when I was diagnosed with diabetes I was scared for my life. I was scared for the hardships I would have to endure to keep in control and eventually lead to complications and ultimately my death. I was saddened to think I would not see my children grow up, get married, see my grandchildren, and most of all I was heartbroken that I would eventually leave my wife alone in our old age. I wasn’t going to be there for her, grow old together etc…


The one thing that I hope will make you able to get to a better place is the fact that while diabetes cannot be cured it can be controlled. And when you control diabetes your longevity becomes close to the average person, and so many of the things that you were worried about will not happen.

You're going through a very, very difficult time now. I've just come out of a long, long period of severe stress. Stress always makes it harder to control your diabetes, but this is the time you need to be most aware of working to maintain control.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[KickStart101]

Sorry to hear that Very sad news Injecto.
I sure pray that things will work out for you
and that you are safe.

[jvetter18]

The issue is NOT with the time he spends on the forum. He has never mentioned that in any posts AT ALL.

I would have to believe he is taking a break from ALL computer/fun/TV watching/baseball watching activities to focus on fixing his relationship.

Him taking a break is NOTHING more then that, from what I can see.

You're probably right, and maybe i connected too many dots, but it was out of love....you know what they say about assuming...

I think the issue is (at least for me), is that we so want to help. Almost too much. And when a member posts a thread that is a clear cry for help, or an admission that something is clearly going terribly for him/her then it's only human nature not to reach out and ask what's wrong.

Hopefully he'll get it worked out. He can always use us as a sounding board.

[Gangrel]

And love is what makes this board so great, in my opinon. I just didn't want all the speculation to get out of control, which is why we should stick to what he's said from his first post.

And in any event, we really shouldn't do that..... if he wants to say facts, he can, otherwise we all should do nothing but be here for them and non-judgemental.

[cherokee_psh]

Now above any other time you may need the support you have found here. Don't turn your back on us especially if we can help in some small way.

I know we all are passionate on different issues and sometimes this passion, sadly, can erupt into conflict. Take conflicts in context, like our bg readings....number of supportive responses vs. number of conflicts. I bet that percentage of conflicts would be quite low.

[andypoo]

Really,I don't think anyone meant to"speculate". I take whatever Injecto said as exactly what he posted No more ,no less. I don't want to know anymore than what's already been said,he didn't even have to say anything at all,but that's not how he is,he has great respect for all on this forum,and in return we all respect him. I want nothing but the best for everyone on here,and that includes him. We all just felt the urge to help,we didn't commit a crime by "feeling" for the guy. I wouldn't have expected anything other than a response from everyone on this forum. The End.

[Cyborg]

Hey Injecto... If you happen to read this thread, many of us have been in similar situations. Some of us, including myself, have gone through divorces (and gotten full child custody). If there is anything any of us can do to help through these rough times, please feel free to PM us.

[JETPILOT]

Diabetes is not a death sentence people! Get yourself together and meet some hot chicks and be happier than you ever dreamed.

JET

[BriOnH]

B*tch..... kick her in the ovaries! :mad:

Diabetes is not a death sentence people! Get yourself together and meet some hot chicks and be happier than you ever dreamed.

JET

haha amen to that jp.

Do you fly Jets? My grandfather used to, and I have a friend that keeps telling me he is going to teach me to fly.

[jerryn]

Maybe it's not too late. First of all you had yourself buried in the ground, that's must have upset you wife. We all have cards dealt to us, deal with it. As long as your numbers are good there is less of a chance of complications. Being diagnosed with diabetes does not mean your will eventually lose a limb, loose kidney function, go blind. If you don't keep your numbers near a normal range.. then yeak your run a risk.

The best thing you can do righ now is get your act together. Don't loose contact with your wife, just talk about the stuff that won her heart in the first place. Talk to her about your kids, let her know how you feel. And most of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself! That's probably what did you in. She probably felt it was bad for the kids.

So you have to check your glucose on a regular basis, sure you can't drink liquor anymore, no more sweets. You gotta
excercise more. BIG DEAL! I'm 44 years old now and when I was 23 years old I lost my best male friend (my wife is my best friend)... He had knee cancer. All I remeber is he had the same skateboard injury to the knee often, eventually he had cancer, went through the loss of his leg but that didn't keep him down. He went on to study carpentry and got a great job, met an awesome woman. My wife and I used to have them at our place and we'd hang out and stuff. It was good times. Later my wife and I moved 68 miles south east to be closer to her parents and my parents. I stayed in contact with my friend, went to his wedding, they always wanted to
play with our son. We would visit them and they would come by like every other month. I'm talking really good friends.
Well one day he was asking me if I would like any of his tools or if I would like his car since he was "gettin another one" Well I knew something was up and I outright asked him. He thought his cancer was coming back. Well... a visit to the docs proved that it wasn't comming back but deep in his mind
he believed it was. So much that he took a gun and shot himself in the mouth. This happened almost 20 years ago and it still bugs me.
People deal with a lot worse than diabetes every day. Get over it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Excercise, get strong.
Don't loose contact with your wife. Talk to her on the phone.
Don't wine... be strong. Talk about the good times.
If it's meant to be you will win her back.

[blue_eyed_devil]

injecto.

i'm not going to lie, i don't particularly like that way you appear to have spent that last eight months feeling sorry for yourself, but why leave here now? aren't there people here you get on with? i may not be one of them, but i love you as a challange.

i want to add - diabetes is not a death sentence. i have a friend with cf. his cf IS going to kill him, with no exception. i often nurse patients diagnosed with terminal cancer, which IS going to kill them. when i think about these people i realise how lucky we are.

by the way injecto, who asked you to leave? (i'll look back though the other four pages, but i don't think it's said)

[kgm0612]

I'm just getting back from vacation and I'm trying to catch up on the posts.

Injecto.........(((HUGS))) Wishing you the best during this difficult period in your life.

Karen