Slipping Up

[jjames]

Okay, so my last A1C was 6.9 - which I was rather excited about bringing it down from 13.4 over the course of a year. I was very deligent in checking my sugars, and watching what I ate, and all that. Recently (maybe started about a month or so after my last A1C check) I started slipping up in testing, and watching what I eat. I don't know what it was that kept me in check during the past year or so - but whatever it was has seem to gone away. I tried to blame it on my work, and that I was out of town for quite a while for it (which I don't exhibit the best eating habits then), but I really can't say if that's it.

It's been quite a while since I've tested more than once in a day, but I am still taking my insulin. I'm sort of gauging how much insulin I'm needing by the way I feel. Anyway, I know I'm messing up again - but my question to everyone is: what stops you from slipping up? And I don't want to hear the answers that are along the lines of "I dont wanna lose my eye-sight", or "I wanna keep all my toes and my feet", or "I love my kidneys" blah blah blah, because I'm not sure if that's a REAL reason not to slip up. For me it isn't - I've come to accept that given my circumstances that I will probably die by the time I'm 55, and at best will last until 60 (though I'll probably be miserable. Thank God Kevorkian is out of the slammer!)

But if you must answer with "because I want to be healthy", go ahead - I can't stop you. But what drives you in checking your BGs everyday, and watching what you eat?

Oh yeah - I may be getting a pump finally - so I'm kind of excited that it MAY help. :D

[Keezheekoni]

Jay, one of the requirements for getting my pump was to test 8 times a day or more. At one point they had me testing hourly...it was ridiculous. However, that did get me into the habit of testing at *least* upon waking, before and 2 hours after every meal...

Now, the good thing about a pump too is that you can set it to alarm you at 2 hours post-meal, and mine won't shut up until I do the test (because I refuse to cancel the alarm until I actually test). If it's beeping at me every 15 seconds, it does get annoying.

So really, I guess I'm going to say that the annoying beeps make me test and stay in control... Oh, one other thing, I'm scared of hypos and loathe highs, so testing before meals makes sure that I'm dosing myself correctly.

I could care less if it makes me feel better...the only thing I have going for me, healthwise, right now is my diabetes. Everything else is falling apart, but I have good control! :rofl:

[princesslinda]

Hi Jay....I'm T2, on oral meds only, so I can't relate to having to give myself multiple injections...but I do test 4-5 times a day, so I guess I can relate to some of what you're saying (though I have to admit the thought of multiple testing AND multiple shots for me would be a lot to deal with).

Let me share with you my motivation for testing....When I was 7, my mom was diagnosed with diabetes. Back then, there was no way to test blood at home...she had one of the urine kits that you put the tablet in and watched it foam and change colors. She didn't use it often. She also didn't watch what she ate at all, just lived her life. Fast-forward to my mom at age 47....she had a non-healing ulcer on her toe which became gangrenous...after numerous debridements and multiple hospitalizations for IV antibiotics, she had to have her foot amputated...had poor circulation, so this didn't heal and she lost her leg to just above the knee....fast forward to age 51...she had retinopathy to the degree that she could no longer drive (even with her prosthesis) or read....on to age 53...she developed renal failure, dying at age 54, 1 week after her kidneys shut down.

Would testing have stopped all her problems...probably not, but NOT testing allowed her to pretend everything was okay. After her amputation, she did start on insulin, got a meter, but still didn't check it, just "guestimating" her doses...by then it was too late, the damage was done.

I know that "I love my feet/kidneys/eyes" sounds all dramatic, but it is a factor for me....actual death doesn't scare me very much...it's just what might happen BEFORE death that bothers me. I breathed a sigh of relief when my mom finally died, as it meant she wouldn't have to deal with all her problems after that.

I hope you find your motivation soon.

All the best,
Linda

[notme]

I will be honest jjames. I was negligent in my care for years. I couldn't gain much control with NPH and REG and I felt like a failure when I went to the doctor, so I just didn't go. My A1c was always awful and the doctor told me I needed to do better. I would try for a couple of weeks and after massive lows or numbers through the roof I pretty much gave up and did what I pleased. My pcp told me about a new insulin called Humalog and said I should try it with Lantus. I did and my control was a bit better. One night while my husband and I discussed my diabetes and our future, he broke down and cried. He said he had been thinking about what life would be like without me. He said he felt like he was going to be alone early and he didn't want that, but had no control to change it. I had never seen my husband cry before. THAT, was enough to change my mind about my self care. I felt selfish and realized that someone cared besides me about my health and it sure as heck was the health care professionals that I went to see. I will always try now. I will never disappoint or scare my husband like that again if I can help it.

I am now on the pump and I give it what I can to make sure that I stay healthy. I slip sometimes. Posts like this one wake me up.

[johgn]

I feel MUCH better when my sugars are under control, plain and simple for me.

[xMenace]

I found just wearing the pump did it.

[shabbie6247]

I feel MUCH better when my sugars are under control, plain and simple for me.

i second that!

[thomasb]

Well i just celebrated 6 months with diabetes, so i am new at it. But anyway:

First of all i am a type 1(personality) slightly obsessive compulsive person. I tend to obsess over things, and keeping in control is one of them.
However thats barely an advantage since there are other areas of my life that suffers from that. But it helps my sugars.
I grew up with a dad that ignored his diabetes, and had some mean hypos scaring the **** out of me. I didn't understand that then, but i do now. So i am very careful to avoid hypos and highs as well, on the behalf of my loved ones, i feel i owe them that. As do I to stay healthy as long as possible.
Lastly, i am young and have a whole lot of things i want to do still.

Atleast this is how i feel now. This all might change of course.

[Penny]

I can remeber being 24 and thinking 60 was sooo old.....heck, I thought 40 was old! But wait until you are 60, and you won't feel the same way! There is so much I still want to do and see, children I want to see grow up, and I just don't feel ready to give Mr. Kevorkian any business for a long time. They will have to take me out kicking and screaming. I hate not feeling well enough to ride a bike with the kids, or walking in the mall with a granddaughter. I want to be able to enjoy our vacations and all they days in between. That's what makes me test, take my shots and watch what I eat, etc. But I admit at your age, I didn't. I just didn't take it very seriously, I thought nothing bad could happen to me, until it did. I wish I had this forum when I was your age, it would have saved me much pain. I knew what might happen if I did not take care of myself, but I was sure it wouldn't happen to me....I was wrong. Do you have someone you would like to spend your life with? My family is my single most motivation for me to stay well!

[VinceF]

I felt the same way for much of my life. I have paid for my mistakes. After 40 years of D I regret some of my behavior. Now when I look into my daughters eyes I wish I could take some of them back.

[gettingby]

Jay, we all slip up from time to time but we just get right back to doing what we need to do. My motivation : My 16yr old daughter and my wonderful, caring friends here. That's motivation enough for me.

[Peggy]

I'm kinda like Penny. My motivation to get my diabetes under control was that I don't want my granddaughter to have to go to my funeral. I have helped her thru too many funerals of beloved family members to add to her pain by making her have to go to mine, too. This got me thru the first year. My A1c's are excellent along with everything else. Unfortunately I have slipped and have been eating stuff I shouldn't, but as long as I maintain my regimen of oral meds and insulin my #'s are still good! I have gained back weight that I'd lost amd that's not good so now I'm looking for new motivation to really get back to it. I've been trying to look at each new day as a new chance to make better choices and not beat myself up about the poor choices of the past.

[tanyatype1]

Hey J - Testing for me has just become a total habit, like brushing my teeth or putting on lip gloss! :) My pump's beeping is also a reminder that I won't/can't ignore, and I guess I'm also a bit compulsive in wanting to do my best at everything I do - including taking care of my D. I want to know where my blood sugars are at all times, so my curiosity makes me check too. Good luck gettin' things back on track!

[June91]

1) I feel like **** when I'm high and even worse when I'm low.

2) 24 hours in the day are not nearly enough for all the things I want and need to do. Not knowing my readings and therefore correcting with either insulin or food would cost me more time than the 15 minutes I spend on testing daily.

And the pump helped ENORMOUSLY.

[ant hill]

Okay, so my last A1C was 6.9 - which I was rather excited about bringing it down from 13.4 over the course of a year.



All i can say is keep up the good work and test test test!!! And get to know more about the food that you eat and the new revolution is the low Glicmic Index foods that keeps you on a even keel over your BG levels. Gee i love my breakfast porridge and honey and that's the thinking now days. It's so important to have food that has a slow release of energy though out the day and stops you from snacking too. ;)

[DeusXM]

Seeing what happens to people who don't control diabetes works out enough for me. It's all very well people telling you that you'll go blind/lose a leg/end up impotent or whatever if you don't control your diabetes. It's quite another to see someone with a leg missing or stuck on an oxygen tank.

To be honest though, I find the best motivation isn't to do it for yourself - it's to do it for someone else. Got kids? Got someone special in your life? What would it do to them if you didn't look after yourself? Sometimes that thought is all you need to carry on.

[dbc]

Would testing have stopped all her problems...probably not, but NOT testing allowed her to pretend everything was okay.


Ditto!! it's too easy to ignore the disease by not testing. I've never "felt bad" due to highs or lows yet. Testing is the only way I know I've got a health issue to deal with.


it's just what might happen BEFORE death that bothers me.


I watched a brother-in-law die by degrees due to T1. It scared me into being motivated to do the right things when I was diagnosed. That, and, as others have said, doing it right for the sake of other important people in my life.

That said, I'm not perfect, I occasionally break the rules I have set up for myself.

[caswellhb]

My motivation is that I just want to enjoy my life! My family and friends get more of my attention when I am well and we are able to get so much more from each other.
I think we all go through these phases at some point but the sooner we are able to get back on track, the sooner we start to look forward to a healthy, enjoyable future.

Heather.

[Gary_W]

If you see a 12 year old kid breaking into your car and you know he's going to drive it away and wreck it, do you let him do it because one day the car will break down eventually anyway? Or do you try and stop him?

If someone mugs you and steals your wallet, do you say 'you missed my watch. Oh, and I've got an iPod on my belt' as he walks away?

If you see someone bleeding to death in the road, do you leave them to it? After all, they'll die one day so what's the point?

If the answer to any of the above comes back as a 'no', ask yourself why you have already conceded defeat in respect of diabetes?

Get a grip of yourself and take responsibility. It is worth it for the improved quality of life in the 'here and now'. The future will still bring what it will, but at least you may be able to look yourself in the eye and say you did your best. As opposed to not being able to look yourself in the eye due to them not working.

I know I'll die one day. I'm OK with that (what choice do you have?). When it comes down to it, I don't fear death (though hoping it is a long, long way away :) ). What I don't much fancy one that is drawn out and painful where I have to entirely rely upon other people; if you are not entirely selfish, do spare a thought for how those that love you would feel about seeing you this way, especially if they beleive you've brought a lot of it on yourself.

Gary

[princesslinda]

Well-said Gary! Anyone, T1 or T2 can relate to your words. Thanks!