Best/Worst day ever

[MercyfulSabbat]

I was in Hollywood today, having one of the best days of my life with my brothers. When we came home, I noticed a bunch of ice cream had been eaten, I go outside and tell my mom, "You really have to stop mom, the doctor already warned you, you may get diabetes" she responds, "I already have it, I was told a week ago" shocked, and in a rage I walk away and slam the **** out of the door. I've been in my room trying to make something of this... I've never cried this much in my life, I am 17 and I've had 4 of my closest friends die, and much of my family die, but none of those deaths have affected me like this. I sound selfish but I am so scared right now, my mom has been trying to talk to me, but I haven't answered the door. she went to bed an hour ago, and I went in the kitchen and threw away all the junk food in the house.

My family (both sides) suffers diabetes severely, it really tortured my grandpa, he suffered 5 major heart attacks, and (I kid you not) 21 strokes, it took his leg too. My mom went through so much dealing with him, and helping him, it consumed her life until the day he passed, I don't want that to happen to her.

I'm sorry for sharing this, I'm just confused right now, and needed to get it off my chess

[SueM]

Hiya 1st of all take a nice big deep breath.
Diabetes doesn't kill.
Stupidity does.
Nagging won't help your Mum like everyone else all she will do is resent you interferring.
She is the one who has to learn to control her diabetes.
As you are 17 and diabetes runs in the familly start looking after yourself so you can keep it at bay and this way it will help your Mum start to eat healthy now and that way your Mum won't feel so alone.
Eating junk food is fine as a treat, you can eat what you like as long as it is in moderation.
Change everything a little at a time this way it is no so over welming. IE start with breakfast then next week move on to lunch and so on.
Best wishes
Sue

[rachk]

I agree - nagging or getting angry at her won't help. You need to let her know that you're scared and really need her to take care of herself - for her sake and yours. Diabetes doesn't have to be a terrible, horrible thing as long as you take care of it. Offer to help in whatever way you can, even if it's just support and encouragement.

Sorry you're having to deal with this! You've come to a good place though. Lots of nice people here to offer support.

[MercyfulSabbat]

Thank you, I didn't think I was nagging I was just confused; scared is all. I talked to her, hugged her for a minute, and when I saw her the troubles really faded... The things my grandfather went through really traumatized me, and I would hate to see her like that.

Thank you for your advice and comfort.

Edit: The way I acted worked out for the best I suppose, her words, "After I saw you like that, I really decided I am going to take care of myself, I never knew you, or anyone cared for me so much."

[painthorse]

Relax and take a moment. This is much less a problem than many other diseases. This is also probably not something she caused as it runs in the family(she may not have helped much either!). Now it's time to work on control - for you both. But you cannot force your ideals/interests down her throat, so to speak. Ask questions, read as much as you can and support each other. Information is power!

[princesslinda]

Sounds like your mom is very new to her diagnosis. Even if your family has a history of it, it's still a HUGE shock when you yourself are diagnosed. My mother was diabetic, my grandfather and grandmother, but I was still unprepared for my diagnosis. I think everyone goes through stages when first diagnosed: anger, denial, fear, sadness...finally acceptance comes, but this may take some people longer than others.

I would suggest that instead of trying to get your mom to behave a certain way for her health (which is not a bad thing, but no one likes to be hassled about their health/diet/exercise/food) maybe you could invite her to walk with you in the evenings or to do an exercise video with you. Think back to how you feel when she tries to tell you what you should do...you don't like it, even if you know it's for your own good...she's the same way, only moreso because right now she's scared. It is very hard to make all the changes she needs to make, and only she can do it, you can't do it for her.

I'd also encourage you to make sure you eat healthy and keep your weight down, as you, too, may be at risk for diabetes.

Your mom is lucky to have such a caring daughter.

[LancetChick]

Is your mom type 1 and on insulin? If so, she doesn't necessarily need to cut out junk food and go on a diet the rest of her life. Heck, I've had type 1 for 21 years, and quit the "diabetic diet" thing after the first year. My digestion works very well with insulin, and I'm able to eat sugary foods and keep my blood sugar in the non-diabetic range, but some people just can't do that. You really need to experiment, test a lot and document your results to see what you can get away with. For type 2's, unfortunately, diet plays a much bigger role. By the way, ice cream is one of the easier junk foods to get away with eating because the fat content makes it take longer to digest, avoiding the very sharp blood sugar spike of, say, Sweet Tarts or regular sodas. (I confess I do avoid regular sodas, but I've never liked them, so no biggie). Diabetics who have limbs removed and who die before their time because of severe complications are either uneducated or passive in their management of the disease or sticking their head in the sand or all three. We may be far from a cure, but we still have enough educational resources and technology that anyone who wants to manage their disease and avoid debilitating complications may do so. Some people feel that it's a **** shoot, and that complications can arise in anyone, but I strongly disagree, having reversed complications myself by achieving better blood sugar control. Anyway, I hope your mom gets on a plan that allows her to live normally while maintaining her health.

[rachk]

Thank you, I didn't think I was nagging I was just confused; scared is all. I talked to her, hugged her for a minute, and when I saw her the troubles really faded... The things my grandfather went through really traumatized me, and I would hate to see her like that.

Thank you for your advice and comfort.

Edit: The way I acted worked out for the best I suppose, her words, "After I saw you like that, I really decided I am going to take care of myself, I never knew you, or anyone cared for me so much."

Yeah, when we're scared often times it comes out as anger and apparently in your case it worked for the best! Sounds like it gave her a good wake-up call. Glad you've talked to her and great to know she's willing to take care of herself. Let us know if you have any questions about anything.

[ladytaz]

Hi MercyfulSabbat, welcome to DF! Well, I'm glad to hear that y'all "made up" and your mom has said she'll take better care of herself!

Why don't you suggest to her that she come here to the forums and join too!! She'll get LOADS of moral support, from those who are in the same shoes as her. As well as LOADS of helpful information in the ways of controlling Diabetes!!

Diabetes doesn't have to be a death sentence, or a life filled with complications like your Grandpa had! When it is properly controlled, one can lead a very good, healthy and long life! :)

[shockme]

hi mercyful and welcome to df! glad your mom's decided to take care of herself. maybe she could come here,too...take care,trish