My friends blame me for my diabetes.

[Spbeyond]

Geez. So I hear from a freind that a couple of my other freinds blame me for my recent type one diagnosis. They are convinced I am the cause. What the **** I have told them how it really is and they ignore that. I dont know what I should do about them but they are really ticking me off. I dont know what I did to tick them off but they are saying mean things about me to my other freinds. GRRR I dont know what to do about that.

[xMenace]

A hockey stick upside the head works for me:fight:

[ant hill]

Geez. So I hear from a freind that a couple of my other freinds blame me for my recent type one diagnosis. They are convinced I am the cause. What the **** I have told them how it really is and they ignore that. I dont know what I should do about them.

Hello Spbeyond, I have a sister who believes that i am not looking after myself and blames me too. I find that there's the lack of information in these people. So i would arm yourself with the hard facts and get them to understand the disease and how hard it is to get good control.
Look for your local institution who knows diabetes and get them to look at their web site or print them out for them.
knowledge is power!!!

[coconut]

Educate them, hope that it breaks through their thick skulls and try not to take it personally. If it continues - get new friends.

[HiImDan]

First thing I heard after diagnosis was "you're so stupid, being a junk food junkie". I've had employers say "you must be braindead", "no offense, but arn't you a little old for this sugar stuff"? I've had a cop laugh at me when she found out I had it for (at the time) 25 yars and say "you just don't want to control it"! with that disgusting smug look on her face. Bottom line, people are ignorant fools. I remember 1 Cor 14:38 and leave 'em to their ignorant bliss.

[coconut]

First thing I heard after diagnosis was "you're so stupid, being a junk food junkie". I've had employers say "you must be braindead", "no offense, but arn't you a little old for this sugar stuff"? I've had a cop laugh at me when she found out I had it for (at the time) 25 yars and say "you just don't want to control it"! with that disgusting smug look on her face. Bottom line, people are ignorant fools. I remember 1 Cor 14:38 and leave 'em to their ignorant bliss.

O M G

Stuff like that just makes me dislike people.
:mad:

[notme]

I wouldn't do a thing. If they are friends, they will talk to you and you can tell them about diabetes. If they aren't friends, then what the heck do you care anyhow. Find some new friends buddy. These guys don't sound worth the effort.

[ant hill]

I wouldn't do a thing. If they are friends, they will talk to you and you can tell them about diabetes. If they aren't friends, then what the heck do you care anyhow. Find some new friends buddy. These guys don't sound worth the effort.

You know, That would be my plan "B" if they continue to ignore the real facts. The real friend would understand. ;)

[iDream]

I tell my friends straight up, they get it, I make sure they do. Many not familiar get T1 and T2 confused, actually, a lot of the non-diabetic population does.

[Misty145]

:( Unfortunately it is usually when you have a life altering reality thrust upon you that you really find out who your friends are. I would give them knowledge regarding diabetes once. You have no control over how they use the info you give them. If it doesn't help them understand what you're dealing with then forget them and move on...life is too short to stress over the small stuff. Right?

[wiseguy]

Dump those idiots and find yourself some friends with at least average intelligence.

[HiImDan]

Dump those idiots and find yourself some friends with at least average intelligence.


Amen.....,

[mg_2204]

Sometimes people take the 'blaming approach' so they detach themselves of whatever is going on in your life. Speaks volume about the kind of people they are... They don't deserve the name friend.

[coconut]

I tell my friends straight up, they get it, I make sure they do. Many not familiar get T1 and T2 confused, actually, a lot of the non-diabetic population does.

No offense, but your comment is equally as ignorant.

[Cyborg]

You have to remember that most diabetics are type 2, and the leading cause of type 2 diabetes is bad diet and being overweight. It's a stereotype, but it does exist in the general population. Type 1 diabetics just get blended in...

[coconut]

You have to remember that most diabetics are type 2, and the leading cause of type 2 diabetes is bad diet and being overweight. It's a stereotype, but it does exist in the general population. Type 1 diabetics just get blended in...

True but there are all sort of exceptions - some are right here under your nose.

I think most people ignorant about all sorts of things especially when it's something that they know little about or something that would require some sort of change.

What I have noticed is the lack of respect all types seem to get with respect to what they have to deal with on a daily basis. ;)

I never knew there was such animosity between the 1 and 2's (1.5's must feel left out) until I came here - I get it, I understand why and admitted I have issues with people that don't do what is best for them and them complain about the state of their health but it seems wrong to fuel the fire on a daily basis.

I think a in perfect world the type 1 could inspire the type 2 that doesn't take their "sentence" serious enough but that could only happen if the 1's didn't blame the 2's for not being born with it.

Do type 1.5's breathe a sig of relief when they find out that they're not a 2 but a 1? Dunno - sounds crazy though - yeah I'm not a 2 - but I'm still with a new liftestyle ahead of me.

Uh yah, I've rambled on enough.

Didn't mean to offend - if I did I do apologize, i'm having a hard time with it all too.

[shockme]

explain it to them ONCE. if they continue to be a****,then dump 'em! true friends accept a person for who they are-faults,diseases and all! trish

[Cyborg]

I never knew there was such animosity between the 1 and 2's (1.5's must feel left out) until I came here - I get it, I understand why and admitted I have issues with people that don't do what is best for them and them complain about the state of their health but it seems wrong to fuel the fire on a daily basis.

I think a in perfect world the type 1 could inspire the type 2 that doesn't take their "sentence" serious enough but that could only happen if the 1's didn't blame the 2's for not being born with it.



I've never really noticed any animosity here on the forum between the types. The treatments are very similar and the advice usually applies to all types.



Do type 1.5's breathe a sig of relief when they find out that they're not a 2 but a 1? Dunno - sounds crazy though - yeah I'm not a 2 - but I'm still with a new lifestyle ahead of me.

I was initially diagnosed as type 2, then found out a few years later that I was actually type 1 LADA (1.5). I was actually disappointed because I learned I had a pancreas that was incapable of producing insulin and that I would be bound for life to injections. The pump has made that part much easier, but I can't control my diabetes without the insulin, no matter how well I eat, how much I exercise or how much weight I lose...

[gettingby]

You have to remember that most diabetics are type 2, and the leading cause of type 2 diabetes is bad diet and being overweight. It's a stereotype, but it does exist in the general population. Type 1 diabetics just get blended in...
I have to agree here.
When I was diagnosed, I lost a couple of so called "friends" because they couldn't grasp the concept that it wasn't contagious.
I have to say though that my best friend stood by me the entire time. She was by my side and was always there for me until she was killed over 10 years ago. She cried with me, got mad along with me at stupid comments people made, and actually got into a fight with someone over their disregard for me and my health. That's a true friend and even though I have friends now who support me and understand, I still miss her daily. :(

[xMenace]

You have to remember that most diabetics are type 2, and the leading cause of type 2 diabetes is bad diet and being overweight. It's a stereotype, but it does exist in the general population. Type 1 diabetics just get blended in...

The leading cause is a failing pancreas. These factors exacerbate things, but eventually, given enough time, everyone would be diabetic. Most type 2's who lose the weight and improve the diet prolong the advancement, but advancement almost always eventually happens.
---
I guess I'm fortunate not to have friends like this, or at least ones that would say this to my face.

[coconut]

I've never really noticed any animosity here on the forum between the types....

It's on this thread.

It's not just here - it's on many forums that I've found on "my search" for answers.

It's how life is - which side of "us" and "them" and the many who remain netural by choice or I guess a good heart.

[coconut]

I have to agree here.
When I was diagnosed, I lost a couple of so called "friends" because they couldn't grasp the concept that it wasn't contagious.


I'm not sure that has to do with type 2's (agreeing with cyborgs comment) but to think that it's "contagious" - shows many things about "the friends" - young, ignorant or doesn't read and that's just really scary.

[shabbie6247]

True but there are all sort of exceptions - some are right here under your nose.

I think most people ignorant about all sorts of things especially when it's something that they know little about or something that would require some sort of change.

What I have noticed is the lack of respect all types seem to get with respect to what they have to deal with on a daily basis. ;)

I never knew there was such animosity between the 1 and 2's (1.5's must feel left out) until I came here - I get it, I understand why and admitted I have issues with people that don't do what is best for them and them complain about the state of their health but it seems wrong to fuel the fire on a daily basis.

I think a in perfect world the type 1 could inspire the type 2 that doesn't take their "sentence" serious enough but that could only happen if the 1's didn't blame the 2's for not being born with it.

Do type 1.5's breathe a sig of relief when they find out that they're not a 2 but a 1? Dunno - sounds crazy though - yeah I'm not a 2 - but I'm still with a new liftestyle ahead of me.

Uh yah, I've rambled on enough.

Didn't mean to offend - if I did I do apologize, i'm having a hard time with it all too.

i'm not aware of any such animosity between types here. yes they are very different diseases but i feel that we all rub along very nicely.
and both(all) types have pro's and cons over the others.

personally i'm just so happy to feel well again that it really doesnt matter to me what type i am.

[cgsmichelle]

Educate them, hope that it breaks through their thick skulls and try not to take it personally. If it continues - get new friends.


I agree totally. Life is short....surround yourself with the positive. The old rule.... "Treat others the way you wish to be treated". Your friends need new standards of living.

[grace girl]

I agree totally. Life is short....surround yourself with the positive. The old rule.... "Treat others the way you wish to be treated". Your friends need new standards of living.

I agree totally. And there is that one great point of wisdom that must never be forgotten...you can't fix stupid.

[jerryn]

Cyborg... I just found out from my new endo that my undiagnosed thyroid problem got me predisposed to diabetes.
My goal is to get the numbers down and when the Dr. finally advises me to what supplements can help with the thyroid I will go with that. Right now I'm getting used to the increased dosage of Bayetta and Metformin. Numbers are normal for the first time ever.
130s at wake up and 105 before lunch and supper.
So not all are from being overweight... I wonder how many people are overweight from thyroid disease and not bad diet?

[Cyborg]

I agree... I've often wondered if thyroid testing is regularly done during my 3 month endo visits. I suppose I'd better ask during my next appointment. I take several medications, so I'm not against medication when it's needed.

[WoNdErFuL MoMmY]

Geez. So I hear from a freind that a couple of my other freinds blame me for my recent type one diagnosis. They are convinced I am the cause. What the **** I have told them how it really is and they ignore that. I dont know what I should do about them but they are really ticking me off. I dont know what I did to tick them off but they are saying mean things about me to my other freinds. GRRR I dont know what to do about that.

Honestly, violence isnt gonna solve anything but make it worse. id just never talk to them again and ignore what ever they say behind your back. and i know that may seam like im saying for you to a pu**y but thats not at all the case ive had some pretty mean ppl like that in my past where they wouldnt wanna hang out with me because they were so stupid they thought it was catchy by just hanging out with me. that was when i was first diognosed whic was 21 yrs ago. but dude honestly dont let it get you nuts because the air they breath everyday is wasted on pieces of shi**ts like them. they dont disurve to be alive.

[Dewey]

Geez. So I hear from a freind that a couple of my other freinds blame me for my recent type one diagnosis. They are convinced I am the cause. What the **** I have told them how it really is and they ignore that. I dont know what I should do about them but they are really ticking me off. I dont know what I did to tick them off but they are saying mean things about me to my other freinds. GRRR I dont know what to do about that.
As others here have mentioned, I'd say drop them & find true friends. Life's too short for the added stress that people sometimes cause. I imagine it's not only hurtful to you, but it's ignorant & childish of them to blame you for anything related to your Diabetes. There are so many factors that go into Diabetes, regardless of the type, that it's ludicrous for anyone to generalize.

Other underlying conditions can force the hand of fate, causing more issues along the way (including, in some cases, Diabetes).

I know it's easy to say, but please hang in there. There are friends out there (& here :)) who truly do care & who aren't going to judge or blame you. (((Hugs)))

[cgsmichelle]

I wonder how many people are overweight from thyroid disease and not bad diet?


I think more than we realize. However I think its often a combination of thyroid disease and poor eating habits. I know I eat a very healthy diet. After taking the diabete class I realized that my portions were to large. Even a healthy diet needs portion control. I am an example of this completely.

[jerryn]

Spbeyond, Don't worry man. It sounds like they are ignorant about the disease. Maybe you can educate them. Type I is autoimmune most of the time. For some reason the immune system attacks the pancreas islet. Type II is caused by a metabolic syndrome. Sometimes it's due to bad diet, other times the thyroid causes the imbalance. It's not your fault. We are all dealt a hand of cards in life. Some of us get a Royal Flush, other have to fold. I'm just lucky I've got my 3 Aces and I'm going to make the best of what I've been dealt with.

[glashalful]

No offense, but your comment is equally as ignorant.

I don't get this comment at all. In my experience, I find it to be absolutely true that most people don't understand diabetes at all, let alone that there are different types.

And it would appear from many of the comments in this thread that I have been very lucky in not being exposed to cruel comments from insensitive people. Not once has anyone been anything other than kind and caring about my diabetes. Perhaps I look at things with rose-colored glasses (look at my online name, after all) but I prefer it that way.

Just my humble opinion.

Elizabeth

[artwoman]

First off (and this doesn;t mean I am condoning the friends actions) but often when people hear of something like a diagnosis of type 1 they get scared. It is proof that anything can happen at any time. If they can blame you for the diagnosis, then you see they can think they are "safe" It happens among groups of friends when one of the couples gets divorced, has a car acident.

Perhaps you can answer by saying that "no, type 1 diabetes is not contagious, but recent research shows that obesity is. That friends influence friends to gain weight" Being that you are type 1, at least they can be jealous of your (most likely) fitness.

[princesslinda]

Spbeyond, sad that your friends can't be there for you when you need it most.

I would think that a friend would support you when you are faced with a life-changing situation REGARDLESS of whether or not he/she thought you brought it on yourself. If a smoker gets lung cancer, would his friends be crass enough to say "too bad, you shouldn't have smoked all those years?" I'd hope not.

Your friends should be there for you, no matter what, offering unquestionable support...any who aren't shouldn't be considered friends, but merely acquaintances.

I'd tell them kindly but firmly that if they couldn't support you through this time of adjustment then you don't consider them true friends. Then, go and find some real friends. You deserve nothing less.

[desperado]

Geez. So I hear from a freind that a couple of my other freinds blame me for my recent type one diagnosis. They are convinced I am the cause. What the **** I have told them how it really is and they ignore that. I dont know what I should do about them but they are really ticking me off. I dont know what I did to tick them off but they are saying mean things about me to my other freinds. GRRR I dont know what to do about that.


I am sorry that is happening to you! But you can't change stupid. However you can chose your friends . PLease don't let afew esp[ecially at your age make you feel this way. Let them go and make new friends. I wish you the very best!:)

[mg_2204]

You have to remember that most diabetics are type 2, and the leading cause of type 2 diabetes is bad diet and being overweight.

No one deserves to suffer from this stupid disease, full stop. I heard so many times (not on the forum though!) that those who have a bad diet and are overweight asked for it... I think it's just awful to even think that.

My mother died of lung cancer, she smoked 3 packs a day, I could say she digged her own grave but that's not how I saw it. She had cancer, she needed help, she was my mother, and I was there until the very end. It would have only added to her suffering and misery had I said 'You brought it upon yourself by smoking, you wouldn't be here had you quit!!!' ...

I don't think there is another disease on this planet that comes with stereotypes.

[coconut]

I don't get this comment at all. In my experience, I find it to be absolutely true that most people don't understand diabetes at all, let alone that there are different types.

And it would appear from many of the comments in this thread that I have been very lucky in not being exposed to cruel comments from insensitive people. Not once has anyone been anything other than kind and caring about my diabetes. Perhaps I look at things with rose-colored glasses (look at my online name, after all) but I prefer it that way.

Just my humble opinion.

Elizabeth


You totally misunderstood the comment or rather took it to be directed the general public's lack of understand and not the poster I was directing it to.

I don't have the energy to debate this type 1 vs. type 2 anymore and frankly it doesn't belong on this thread so I will simply leave it at that.

[soso]

I have a couple of people in my life who make it clear that they think I am over reacting to my disease...one actually asked me if 'a doctor had told me I had diabetes'... I am not sure why they think my doctor would prescribe me insulin, or if they are at last starting to understand the situation.. lord knows I have explained it to them more than once....
They always say how well I look, so maybe that's the problem.. I should bleed all over them..lol...
I don't think people mean to be bad or hurtful...it's like if someone else is hobbly round on a bit of a sprain.. it is hard to keep the sympathy up for more than a few days.. then we want them to keep up with our pace a little better...but if we sprain something...man! it hurts! a lot!
This is human nature....
ss

[wiseguy]

You have to remember that most diabetics are type 2, and the leading cause of type 2 diabetes is bad diet and being overweight.I have yet to be convinced that type 2 diabetes is caused by diet and/or obesity. I believe that it is a genetic disease that is aggravated and accelerated by diet and obesity.

[Wildbill]

Diet and body fat are contributors, but NOT causes of diabetes. Ya'all oughta know better.

I am T1 onset at age 47. That was hard to get people to understand. My brother-in-law's father lived as a T1 for about 70 years. My brother-in-law still believes that I caused my diabetes by eating too much sugar. My doc says it was a virus that wiped out my beta cells.

Diet and body fat play a role, but they aren't the whole show for T2s. Probably genetics more than anything.

[Tim_Roy]

Not to add fuel (or fat!) but the people who most often blame me or say "What'd you do to get it SO BAD?" are type 2 diabetics. That always makes me wonder.

I suppose the difference is because I grew up with it, went to diabetes association meetings, diabetic camps, Joslin Clinic, decades of training. Perhaps their doctor just gave 'em a scrip for pillls and said "Cut down on the..."

Note, I don't think these couple of clueless individuals are necessarily representative of Type 2s.

[pumpman]

What ******* friends...you're stuck with a life of injections and blood testing and your "friends" insult you about it.

I've had a cop laugh at me when she found out I had it for (at the time) 25 yars and say "you just don't want to control it"! with that disgusting smug look on her face

OMG. Would me want to use this South Park line in her face:
"Well help yourself to a f***n science book cause your talking like a f***in retard!"
YouTube - South Park vs. Global Warming (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQcp9BqvpXA)
HAHA!

[SteveM]

ditch 'em. they live by opinion, and opinions are like a-s-s-holes, we all have 'em but don't have to share 'em.

you don't need the extra stress. That must really be makin you mad, I know it would me. Pretty stupid to think diabetes is the person's fault. Yeah, you picked your genes, so it's your fault. duh-errrrrrrrrrrrr

[Marie]

Hello,
first of all noone is allowed to blame you because of diabetics because it can happen to everyone. Do not worry because of this!
My boyfriend has diabetics type 1 and I always admire him because he always thinks about what he is eating in contrast to many friends we have who just eat and eat and eat without caring about anything!
It is really absolutly stupid from your friends to blame you!!!

[amyjo29]

You DID NOT cause yourself to have diabetes. This is a hereditary disease and if your going to get it well...there is nothing you can do to prevent it. Dump the friends and get new ones.