Giving up

[carolyn]

I am so down. All I seem to do these days is argue with my husband, and cry. I am finding life as a type 1, so difficult. The more I stress the harder it is to keep numbers, anywhere near right. I just feel like giving up and not even bothering with all of the insulin anymore. I am finding life just too hard. Take care. Carolyn

[WoNdErFuL MoMmY]

I get that way from week to week literally do but then I think if i give up then who will take care of my baby and then i will lose the baby im pregnant with now then my husband will leave me, i think of all those things along with losing my life. no matter how bad it is with your personal life or health wise, don't ever give up, think of all the people that have cancer or aids or other very deadly diseases, think of how you would feel if you were one of those people then you'de get back on track and never give up again. i watched my father die in front of my eyes on my 24th birthday at 9:12am and let me tell you, when i wanna give up, i think of his death and him taking his last breath and think of my wonderful son and husband. just dont ever give up, life is really great if you treat it right.

Melissa

[princesslinda]

Carolyn, so sorry to hear you're going through a rough time right now. Hopefully, things will start looking up for you soon. This is the perfect time for you to be on the forum, as there are so many people here either going through what you're going through, having been through what you're going through or getting ready to go through what you're going through. Hang in there and be strong. Know your forum family is here for you.

[shockme]

oh carolyn-i'm so sorry you're going thru a rough spot! living as a diabetic is hard and we've all probably felt like quitting. start over fresh tomorrow...(((((hugs))))) trish

[octoberlily]

Carolyn, i honestly know where your coming from, as at moment i feel just the same, really down diabetes not to good and not been able to go to work cos of it, been on incompacity for 6months and trying so hard to manage the little money i'm on and worrying how i'm going to buy my food. It's so hard and the loneliness is awful as i have no family, my youngest 20 has his own life, and i won't worry him, my eldest 24 is living in Canada now, so i tend to bottle it all up. So please don't think your on your own and don't give up, talk to your family, and your medical team if poss, but please try and keep your chin up.

Julie

Type 1 diagnosed 6.12.74
Novarapid 4+ daily with meals Glarzine bedtime
awaiting funding for pump

[lgvincent]

Diabetes is a difficult disease to deal with. I know I gave up multiple times the first few years I had it but I finally realized that I couldn't just deny the disease. It will take some time. Just keep working at it. In time it will become easier to deal with.

[solox316]

Hi Carolyn,

As you can see, we have all had our moments of feeling very down, with diabetes or whatever else it may be. We know how you're feeling and are here for you :)

[Kubilee]

I have just been diagnosed since May and I think I have tried to give up like 3-4 times now. It is ever so frustrating for me sometimes and I wonder why even bother, then one of my kids will come to me and give me a hug or tell me they love me and that's all the motivation I need.

As for your husband and you arguing all the time. Hmmm... maybe it is time to sit him down and have a heart to heart and get to the bottom of what is causing this conflict and come to some sort of resolution? Communication is uber important in any relationship. Maybe he has something on his mind, I don't know what you are arguing about and won't ask, maybe he is worried about you and doesn't know how to help you so it gets misdirectedas anger, it happens to the best of us.

No matter what though, do NOT give up, for your own health and wellbeing, don't give up, you have worked too hard and you don't want to start all over. And we are always here for you. ;)

[kgm0612]

(((HUG))) Hang in there Carolyn, we've all been there at one time or another. We're all here for you, so don't give up.

Karen

[peej07]

I've been a T1 for 28yrs and it's been a struglgle both mentally and physically but you can never give up. You need to get the most out of life every day. It's hard but the long term benifits are worth it. I have found so much help and support on this forum. Good luck and stay possitive.

[rachk]

Hi Carolyn,

Sorry you're having a rough time. I feel for you as I'm going through a lot of stress right now as well. At lunch time today my blood sugar had jumped to 271! Not normal, but I know it's because I was really upset this morning. I've felt very alone lately and since my husband works long hours I've started coming here to help distract me from obsessing about my fears. It reminds me that others have rough times too. It helps to know I'm not the only one going through a bad time. I hope things get better for you!

Rach

[barko]

Carolyn...

I agree... its often tempting to just give up on what often seems like a stupid journey, full of stupid struggles and uncontrollable up and downs. I cuss at diabetes on a regular basis and I did give up for like 2 years - ignored it all. We all really relate to your current emotions, because we all get there.

Take a walk, breathe deeply, look at the stars...take some time to clear your head. If you are like many of us, we are running too hard and fast to take care of the spirit side of life and we get storm-tossed and out-of-focus, then everything is magnified.

My dad once told me something that stuck with me:

We often look at our problems like fingers on our hand - we look at them all at once. But...turn that hand sideways and you see one finger (problem) at a time. It somehow helps me to think of this.

Blessings to you....hang in there!!

It will get better.

[bryan42]

Hello Carolyn....Stay Strong! we all go thru this occasionally, ok sometimes more frequent than we would like :( but you will get thru this....

[Injecto]

I am so down. All I seem to do these days is argue with my husband, and cry. I am finding life as a type 1, so difficult. The more I stress the harder it is to keep numbers, anywhere near right. I just feel like giving up and not even bothering with all of the insulin anymore. I am finding life just too hard. Take care. Carolyn


I feel for you. Just replace husband with wife and it's been the same situation in my life. I've even got to the point at times when I did stop taking insulin...lasted a few days.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

I'd like to tell you it get's better, but the hardest part is that we each have to come up with our own way/method in life to accomplish that. And even when you do, it may not be perfect, which is hard to accept.

[notme]

I hope you understand that we all go through really tough times with diabetes and trying to cope with family life. It does get better. I noticed when I was first diagnosed the mental lows were pretty dramatic. Hang in there Carolyn (and Injecto), we are all here to listen and we certainly understand. This is the most difficult part of diabetes. :(

[Erin]

Oh Carolyn,

Those times are so hard. I get down on myself too, but I try to remember the stern talking to I got from my endo the first time I was giving up. This is what he said:

Stop thinking about right numbers and wrong numbers. Stop thinking about good numbers and bad numbers. There are no good or bad or right or wrong blood sugar levels. There are high numbers and there are low numbers. You have diabetes. You will have high numbers and low numbers. The individual number is not important. What is important is what you DO with it. If you take insulin when you have a high number, or eat when you have a low number, YOU are taking care of yourself. You are going to feel bad enough dealing with the high or the low, you don't need to beat yourself up about it as well. Take your insulin, test your blood sugar, eat your food, and feel proud that you are taking care of yourself.

I think if you give yourself a mental break you will feel happier and will be able to improve your relationships. Say to yourself "I will NOT judge myself or feel guilty because of my blood sugar for the next two weeks" Giving yourself permision to not really care what your numbers are may make actually testing them and taking insulin a bit easier.

Good luck!

[CindyO]

Carolyn,
Please don't give up! Talk to your doctor immediately! My episodes of wanting to give up have gone away since my doctor started me on an antidepressant. The medication controls the seratonin in my brain and puts me in greater control of my moods, just as the insulin controls my blood sugar levels. Please call your doctor right away.

[carolyn]

Thanks for being there. Carolyn

[princesslinda]

Carolyn, I hope you continue posting on the forum. You never know who'll be helped and encouraged by your posts. As you can see from the response, you've got a lot of "forum-friends" to lean on. Better days are ahead for you.

[SteveM]

Stop thinking about right numbers and wrong numbers. Stop thinking about good numbers and bad numbers. There are no good or bad or right or wrong blood sugar levels. There are high numbers and there are low numbers. You have diabetes. You will have high numbers and low numbers. The individual number is not important. What is important is what you DO with it. If you take insulin when you have a high number, or eat when you have a low number, YOU are taking care of yourself. You are going to feel bad enough dealing with the high or the low, you don't need to beat yourself up about it as well. Take your insulin, test your blood sugar, eat your food, and feel proud that you are taking care of yourself.

... "I will NOT judge myself or feel guilty because of my blood sugar for the next two weeks" Giving yourself permision to not really care what your numbers are may make actually testing them and taking insulin a bit easier.

This is golden advice.

What you would be doing is changing your thinking, which has helped me break down the wall of negativity, which is very thick. I experience intense manic spells if I let my destructive thinking take over, and even the simplest tasks are impossible in that state. Step outside the box, and live in the solution not the problem. I've always deeply hated that advice until it helped me feel better. Yell as loud as you can I CAN DO THIS !!!! THIS ISN'T GOING TO BEAT ME, I'M GOING TO BEAT IT !!!!!!! GET ANGRY AT THE CONDITION.

I can't offer any relationship advice, but if you think it could be helpful, express to your loved one that you don't want anything to get in the way of your relationship because it is very important to you and tell him you love him. Just keep in mind that he might not understand how you feel, because he can't feel what you feel.

I hope this is helpful. CHIN UP, KICK THE DIABETES, you are capable.