I am scared....

[Michiko]

This is my first post and I am a little bit nervous right now.

I just got a blood test result a couple days ago. My Glucose level was 289. Out of range... It was even fasting blood test. The day finally came. I must be diabetic. My doctor left me a voicemail asking me to make a sooner-appointment. I originally had one in beginning of October. Now she tells me to come in on September 11th, the quickest appointment she could give me. I didn't get to speak to her directly, so I am not sure how it is going to be like at the appointment.

My mom and grandma has/had diabetes. They don't like talking about it. But my grandma became blind due to her diabetes. My mom almost lost her sights. She cannot see very well. On my dad's side, my grandfather is diabetic. I have some aunts and uncles are diabetic as well. So I knew that it was coming... but I didn't think it was so soon. I am still 31.

The day before the blood test, I went to Chinatown, and ate some chicken wings... and fish... I was so frustrated with my work. I was under a lot of pressure and stress. I didn't eat all day, I got yelled at my supervisor, so many things were due at work, I was going crazy. So I went to eat dinner at Chinatown. It was tasty.. I don't regret about eating out a day before the test. Because this is sort of my life style these days.

So now is the time to change!! I am a bit scared of going to see a doctor.. but I have to. Even I am a doctor hater... I will have to. I am also not eating regularly, working so many extra hours at work... I need to have some conversation with my bosses as well..

I always thought that I was lazy or pain-sensitive.. when I felt sick. So I forced myself to be strong, and go to work. I rarely called in sick. Now I look up the information about diabetes... I have had those symptoms.. I am feeling dizzy right now matter of the fact. I pushed myself... I don't know if I can do that any more if I want to take care of what is going on with me.

Since I got a big promotion a couple months ago. My boss might not like this very much.. but I have to find a way to communicate this with them... Maybe my doctor can write some notes?

Thanks for listening.

Michiko

[pdxdennisj]

Glad you found this site. Diabetes can be managed very well with medications. There is no reason to loose eyes or kidneys or anything else. Part of the drill will be learning how to take care of yourself. My mom went on dialisis because she never would take care of herself and the doctors finally took her off of it for the same reason. It was a needless thing. Cooperate with your Doc and learn some stuff here and get support...we are all in the same boat.

[parrotletzoo]

Diabetes takes some adjustment but it shouldn't effect your ability to do your job. Maybe you'll need to take breaks or lunch when your body needs to instead of when work needs to but your employer will also adjust to that. If you are in the US employers are required to make reasonable accomodations for people with disablities (no diabetes doesn't mean you are disabled but it is covered under the Americans with Disablities Act). As you learn more about diabetes you'll become more comfortable with it and it won't be so scary.

Complications can be avoided with good control. Read as much about Diabetes as you can before you go to the doctor so you you aren't intimidated by the information he is going to throw at you and you'll be able to better ask questions. As you read/learn about diabetes before you go to your appointment write down any questions you have and take your list to the doctor. Its easier to remember them if they are written down and if you are too afraid to ask them you can just hand over the paper to the doctor.

Ask questions here too. there are many people on the forum willing to answer questions. You'll get some good advice.

[Dawn]

Michiko - of course you are scared and nervous right now.

You are already on the right track by finding a group that could help with support and information. You are also already doing some research.

I was diagnosed Type 2 almost 2 years ago. I was completely scared and overwhelmed. I began to research like crazy and reach out for help. I cried for 6 weeks. I tested my blood many times a day to see what I could and couldn't eat. I changed what I ate. I began to exercise. My focus became my health and I couldn't have done it without support. So, again I applaud that you are here and that you are going to the doctor ASAP. Take what she says and research it. Find out what is best for you. I could only do one thing at a time duirng a time when everything seemed so big.

Today, I'm 100 pounds lighter and have good control of my blood sugar. I didn't realize then that I could be here.

Keep us posted and feel free to share or ask anything you need to. We've all been there.

Dawn

[Michiko]

I am already *so glad* that I found this forum. It is very scary. My mom's legs were almost amputated a couple years ago. I have seen my mom going through numbers of surgeries on her eyes... My grandma being blind... But as everyone says, I can control it if I pay attention. So that is what I am gonna try to do.

I work at non-profit social service agency. So it is very different work environment than some office work. I rarely get to take a break and work until so late. I go to work by 8:30 a.m. and before you know it, it is at 6 p.m. and realize that I haven't eaten anything all day... then work until 8 p.m. ... grab something quick and big meal (from outside)... then do some more work.

So big change I have to do is my eating habit. I also feel that I need to feel okay about calling in sick when I am not feeling well. But it is going to be tough for me...

I have some ideas now... what I need to do but I also have to listen to what my doctor needs to say as well...

So many things on my mind.... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggg


Oh... I am really really grateful for those of you who have replied to me so quickly.. Maybe you can imagine myself pressing "refresh" button like a mad woman :) So thanks!!!

[Trinifar]

Hi Michiko,

I was also recently diagnosed and had a similar reaction. I've found this site to be a wealth of information, great support, and lots of very positive outcomes in terms of people who have been living with diabetes for a long time, managing it well, and willing to share what they've learned. Lots of kindness too.

Learning about diabetes and what you can do about is one of best ways to deal with fear of the consequences. There's a lot more known about it now and much more support than in your mother's and grandmother's day.

Ask questions and let us know what's on your mind. Everyone is here to give and get help.

[shockme]

hi michiko and welcome to df! it can be scary... but you realize that you will have to make some changes and that's good! ask your dr. to do an a1c -it's a blood test-no need to fast. it tells how high your glucose has been for the past 2-3 months. let us know how the dr. visit goes! any questions or concerns-ask the dr.and ask us as well...take care,trish

[owlyn]

Hi!

Ditto to what everyone above has written. Above all, don't panic. there's plenty of time to get things straightened out. With the advances in medicine in the last 20 years, if you take care of your diabetes, there's no reason to experience any of the serious complications like going blind or facing amputation. The ironic thing is, it's not all that hard to do. Some people go into denial, or are just so scared, that they ignore it. that is the #1 worst thing you can do. So coming here was a good move. There's lots of help and support. It just takes some adjustment of your lifestyle. After a while, it becomes automatic. I view the whole thing as just a bit of an inconvenience. No big deal- just a little annoying at times.

Learn as much as you can. You will soon be at least as knowledgeable as your doctor. Once you know more than he does, it's time to get a new doctor :)

[xMenace]

Welcome,

This isn't our parents' world anymore. The only reason not to stay in control and good health is you. The treatments are there; all you have to do is follow them.

Diet (within reason)
Excercise
Weight loss
Test, test, test!

And most importantly, keep coming here for education and support!

[slipperyelm]

Hi, Michiko. :) Glad you came here.

If possible, I would advise not telling your supervisors and workmates about your diabetes just yet. What you would tell them this week or next week might be quite different than what you would want to say one month from now or later down the road. Right now you might give them requests about scheduling, breaks, and meals that might need to be different as you make adjustments. It would be rough if they re-worked a schedule for the month based on your requests and then one week later you needed to change your requests. If the workplace is tough and unforgiving, you might not want them to think that "first she says one thing, then she says another."

You are likely to change things a couple of times as you adjust your meals, your activity level, your medicines, and of course your blood glucose levels. Even your goals, expectations and hopes for yourself will likely be in a process of change. Certainly what you know and understand is going to change and be built upon. So I just recommend that at first you try to just keep it quiet about your diabetes.

There are a lot of things a type 2 diabetic can do to get healthy. Your doctor will probably tell you some of the ways, but if you read on this forum before you go in, you will already probably know more than your doctor is likely to tell you. If your doctor offers a referral to a dietician, a nutritionist, or a diabetes educator, take up the offer. If she offers you a class to go to, take the class! You can get a good start in understanding diabetes and how to test your blood glucose, your meds, etc from those sources. But, in my expereince you will learn a lot more from books, and this forum than from the paid professionals. Plus, to tell the truth, I think the paid professionals tend to have lower expectations and standards for type 2 diabetics than they ought to have. Hang out here with us where we have higher expectations of ourselves! :D

My own story: I was diagnosed 14 years ago. My blood glucose was 352 and A1c 13.2. Today with meds, exercise, weight loss, a couple of helpful supplements, and low-carb eating my two blood glucose checks were 95 and 87. A1C is now 5.4. I have been able to get better and better control over the years, instead of getting worse. Isn't that cool?

But I couldn't have done it without some info! I have high hopes that can happen for you, too....Just wait till you find out how good it feels to get your BG down! Every time I made a solid improvement I would find myself saying, " I did not know how much better I could feel." When my diabetes was diagnosed, I was undeniably doing very poorly, but after each improvement I had the idea that that would be as good as it gets---until I made another improvement.

I'm going to send you a private message on this board, Michiko. Please look for the link in the column to your right, or at the top of the page.

[Michiko]

Welcome,

This isn't our parents' world anymore. The only reason not to stay in control and good health is you. The treatments are there; all you have to do is follow them.

Diet (within reason)
Excercise
Weight loss
Test, test, test!

And most importantly, keep coming here for education and support!

I agree with you. How I can fight and get better is with my hands... That is true... Not blaming family... It is up to me..

It is up to me.

[gettingby]

Hi Michiko and Welcome.:)
You are heading in the right direction and have come to the perfect place for advice and support. I'm 36 now and have been a type 1 for 23 years of my life. With the proper attitude and willingness to change, you can accomplish anything. Hang in there and we will be here with support. :)

[spinnb8]

michiko, welcome,
its good that you are looking to be proactive about your diabetes, sometimes its tough.
i understand about not getting many breaks through the day, i teach college, and somedays its tough to schedule in a real lunch. i have found the solution for me is to always have a few snack bars in my office, the ones i like are "raw revolution" "la raw bar" and "nutt ball" i found them at my local health food store, and they have no refined sugar, soy, wheat, hydrogenated oils or any bad stuff.
and they taste awesome. they are a good boost to get you through the day.

enjoy and good luck. you found a good place for support.

[owlyn]

The ADA requires that your emplyer make reasonable accommodations for you. Altering your work schedule to allow for predictable meal times is certainly reasonable. BUT- as someone else has said, don't do anything at work right now. Wait a bit and see how you shake out. Once you know what you need to do regulalrly, you can explain the situation to your supervisor. Only if they give you a hard time should you play the ADA card. Odds are your supervisor has someone in the family with diabetes and will completely understand. It is a very common disease today.

[Michiko]

Thank you so much for all your replies. You guys are so kind and experienced. I am learning so much already.

I don't have any intension of telling my supervisors about diabetes itself. I think I just need to let them know that I am having some health issues and working on it. I mean they don't need to know. And I will definitely wait for a week or so, at least I need to talk to my doctor.

My concern is that I won't be able to work on changing my life style if I don't let my supervisor know. I have a lot of pressures from work and my life is technically mostly about work. I can take breaks any time I want... I should be taking breaks but I don't... because I want to get work done sooner instead of staying at work longer than I should. So that is the situation. Of course my boss will say to me to take a break, not to work too late. But the fact is that I am working way too much... and having too much responsibilities all in once. I also don't call in sick when I am feeling dizzy or extremely tired... I go to work. Then I go crazy with all the work, then I am not effective any more... maybe not a good leader either... I may snap a little... and I don't want to be like that.

When I turned 31 a month ago. I got really really depressed. Because I was feeling old and not so healthy. I think I knew there was something up with my body. I know 31 is very young, but I wasn't feeling as well as I used to. That is why I went to a doctor after long time. I am glad that I did... but being very tired and feeling like fainting so often... is not how I want to be. As some people suggested, I would wait a little bit longer. But it is not about scheduling... but about my work style..so I should have a conversation with my supervisor next week.. I cannot be under so much pressure regardless.. I haven't even called in sick for soooooooooooooooooo long... WHen I feel sick I look at my schedule.. then "ah. no" then I go to work, don't have time to eat, stay late, and eat a huge dinner... It hasn't been helping if I think of it now. It may have been making me worse....

SO much to think about.

Regardless I probably won't ever tell my boss about my condition... except.. *I have some health issues*

[princesslinda]

Hi Michiko: Getting the diagnosis of diabetes is certainly a life-changing experience...I was terrified. My mom died of renal failure at age 54 after having her leg amputated and almost going blind. She was a diabetic for many years, but didn't do a good job of controlling things. When I got my diagnosis, I realized I didn't want to follow the same health path as my mom did, so I had to learn all I could about diabetes and how I needed to treat it. I read a lot, started a lower carb diet and an exercise program. I've just had my 1 year anniversary with diabetes, and I'm much healthier now that i've been in many years. I'll probably live longer because of diabetes, since it forces me to take better care of myself.

Firstly, you're not alone. All of us have had that scary diagnosis, felt just like you're feeling. You just have to remember that you can live a healthy and happy life with diabetes. Stay positive. It does get easier as time goes by.

Hope you have a monitor...if not, get one and test A LOT. Testing 2 hrs after your first bite of food will show you how different foods affect your blood sugars and help you in making smarter food choices. Also, any exercise you can get will help as well.

As for telling your boss....i'd get used to the idea of diabetes first, learn how to take care of it and feel that you're in control...THEN if you feel the need, share it with him/her along with the fact that you're under good control. There are probably others in your office with diabetes...I work with 5 other diabetics myself.

Hang in there...read a lot and ask lots of questions. You'll be fine!