people who don't get that no means no

[Caroline SK]

A guy at the office today brought in some wonderful looking blueberry tarts that his wife baked. He was passing them around and offered me one. I said "no thank you" and continued what I was doing. One of the women present started going on and on that I should have 'just one' because they are soooo good yadda yadda. I said no thanks again. Then she says "you shouldn't pass them up- they are the real thing" So I said "so is diabetes, no thank you." and left it at that.
I don't think I need to tell the world that I have this disease. My eating habits don't affect them at all and I am not contagious or likely to fall into a diabetic emergency any time soon as long as I manage my diabetes. Whether it is from diabetes or simply a choice to eat healthy, no one should have to say 'no' to an offer of any food more than once. No means no.

/rant

[princesslinda]

I understand your frustration. I'm sure your co-workers were just trying to be nice, but it's hard enough sometimes to get that ONE "no" out, much less having to continue it...esp. if it's something you want really badly.

Today, we had a drug rep lunch...burgers, grilled chicken, hotdogs, baked beans, chips, potato salad...AND COBBLER, BLACKBERRY AND APPLE!

When I was getting my plate, everyone was going on about the cobbler....then I hear "Linda, don't look, you can't have this!" I didn't even get the chance to say no. I REALLY, REALLY wanted to grab cobbler in both hands and say "YUM...cobbler...me like cobbler, while everyone watched.

Not sure which is worse, having to say no....or having "no" said for you. I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

[barko]

Next time...just tell them you would love one of those blueberry tarts...but to be prepared, as they usually cause all diabetics to projectile-vomit. :D

[notme]

LOL barko. I am going to remember that one! :rofl: :puke:

[Jan B]

Good idea Barko, except I couldn't say that I might projectile vomit without laughing.

When offered food or carbs I don't want (from people who know me), I say, "I don't want to have to take a shot for it; no thanks", and they usually don't say anything else.

I'm there too-- not sure which is worse: 1) you can't have that, or 2) you really want it, come on and have one; they are so wonderful.

Eating Yummy Food is a very social -- everybody join in, kind of deal. (I'm preaching to myself, because I get tired of food being all about entertainment & excitement.)

Caroline, if I offered you a cookie, or whatever, and you said no, I would say ok. ;o)

And Linda, I would like to see you grab cobbler in both hands and say "YUM...cobbler...me like cobbler", with everyone watching! I'm still laughing at the thought of it!

[HiImDan]

Next time...just tell them you would love one of those blueberry tarts...but to be prepared, as they usually cause all diabetics to projectile-vomit. :D

http://bestsmileys.com/lol/4.gif

[volleyball]

I have no problem turning down stuff that is not great. But when it's something that hard to pass up, it shows up as you drool. So I take it, take a bite or just let it sit and give it to someone else later. being the gracious guest.

[bryan42]

Telling People We Have Diabetes, Just Doesnt "phase" Them!!

2503

[duck]

Many of us have been there, and what kills me is how the person who won't stop is typically offended when you have to "drop the hammer" to get them to stop. As in many awkward situations, if they had stopped at the first sign of resistance, there would have been no issue...but they keep on and keep on, and when you finally pull the Nuclear Option they act hurt and offended. And to make it worse, in cases like these, the "offender" isn't trying to be mean or a pain, they probably genuinely want you to enjoy something they enjoyed...It's a no-win situation, really.

Imagine if you had celiac sprue or something, and they were pushing a food with gluten?

[xMenace]

"No thank you, I'm in training" works too. http://cheerweb.net/images/emoticons/weight_lifting.gif

[MJB]

I don't hesitate to tell such people that I am diabetic.


It usually shuts them up immediately and I don't have to say no a second time. :D

[gettingby]

RANT ON !!

It's not situations like this that get me but another situation. I've been in our breakroom at work, trying to bring a low up. One employee saw me drinking juice (was easier to get to my juice than my tabs) and said "What do you think you are doing? Don't you know juice is bad for you?" I had to show her my meter just to prove that I was low and needed the juice. Those are the times that really irritate me. I should not have to explain myself or my actions to anyone !!!


Ok, rant off !!

[georgepds]

A guy at the office today brought in some wonderful looking blueberry tarts ... I said no thanks again. Then she says "you shouldn't pass them up- they are the real thing" So I said "so is diabetes, no thank you." and left it at that.

I don't think I need to tell the world that I have this disease.
/rant


Makes one long for the days of more formal relations. My idols in this matter are presidents Kennedy and Roosevelt who dealt with tremendous personal health problems (back injury and polio respectively) in a private and dignified manner during their term of office. If they can do it in that fishbowl, I can do it in my obscurity

--g

[dgrilli]

I will eat the blueberries natural ones not cooked. In fact I love them little purple things. I could eat a ton of them and just take an extended bolus. They very rarely ever spike my BG.

But the Pastery and all the refined bleached sugar yuk yuk!

I probably would have been thinking how would she like to have a cup of drano in my the back of my mind. All depends how cranky I was that day. I can get pretty moosy.

[MissDB]

I have no problem turning down stuff that is not great. But when it's something that hard to pass up, it shows up as you drool. So I take it, take a bite or just let it sit and give it to someone else later. being the gracious guest.

I would do the same thing and then adjust my next meal to compensate.

I am a teacher and the parents from the neighbourhood where I teach tend to get too involved, also word spreads quickly, so not too many on staff know that I am diabetic and I want to keep it that way.

[parrotletzoo]

Jerk at work: "you want <insert dessert here>?"
me: "no thankyou"
Jerk at work: "are you sure, they're awesome?"
me: "yes, i'm sure thank you"
Jerk at work: "gosh, you don't know what your missing"
me: "what are you trying to kill me???? I can't have it right now, and I'm sure I know what i'm missing, but I was trying to be polite. so tnanks"

usually shuts them up.

[gettingby]

I was in the midst of a really low low when a co-worker asked me "Should you be eating that?" My reply was not nice. I said "Should you be breathing the same air I am?" Not nice but she backed off quickly. :rofl:

[Alice]

I find the more "because I'm diabetic" discussion brought to the situation only makes future offerings even more awkward. Then, as said earlier...you get even more annoyed by the food police. I don't even think they are all that "well-meaning", more passive-annoying.

I've taken the horrible grocery store birthday cake slices from co-workers and just placed on my desk. No one really noticed whether I was eating or not.

Heck, sometimes those office birthdays were timed perfectly for one of my stressed-out low's! I've been touched by angels in that way...oddly enough!

I would love it if The Office (hit TV show) would add a diabetic to the cast of characters. We could definitely write the script for inappropriate office conversations!

[cruiser_ss396]

Not that people where you work or anyplace else need to know your business but I think it pretty important that at least some people know that we are diabetic. If something were to happen at work people could tell those that really do need to know and I am not talking about a diabetic type thing happening.

Where I work at people are pretty friendly and we have our share of diabetics around here which is odd. Some people where I work when they bring treats make a point to bring low carb or sugar free for the "too sweet crowd". We had a lunch a few months ago and sugar free drinks, diet drinks and unsweet ice tea were made available just for us along with splenda for the tea. We had quite few visitors in and it was brought up by our plant manager that the unless you really had to have the diet or sugar free drinks to please leave them for the people that have no choice!! Cakes, cookies and pies are always set out and marked if they are sugar free or no sugar added.

I really think it pays for people to know about my diabetes at work. I have people ask how, when, why and lots of other questions, some even try to follow a better diet because of it. I remember testing before lunch's and breaks allot and finally asked if it bothered people and everyone said no. I was one of the people that shared what I have with others and they respect that and I never get the you have to try this or can't have that from people at work.

We had one person have some heat exposure and the first thing was to get some liquids into her, thankfully her co-workers knew that only water would be the acceptable thing until medical help arrived and where we work that is about a 10-15 minute wait.

I am in no way defending the problems any of you have had with co-workers and the actions of some. It's inexcusable. :mad: I just thought I would tell you what goes on where I work.

Joe

[Diana]

Yes, its a very tricky situation. I'm type 1 and pump, so can technically eat whatever I like, but I worked in a place where every day someone would bring in cake or muffins or something - If I ate that stuff every day I would just get fat!

If you use the diabetes excuse once to get out of eating something sugary, you will never be left alone when quietly enjoying a chocolate bar or other goodie that you really want! So I tend to try to be busy when the cake comes out, or say something like "no thanks, just had a big breakfast/lunch, I'm not hungry", or similar.

Sometimes I use a version of volleyballs trick - I dont eat red meat, not for any particular reason other than I just dont like it. So to save having to explain it all to people at bbqs, I will just fill up my plate with salad and add one sausage or something, leave it on my plate till the end then pass it to my partner or just leave it. If I leave it and people ask I will just say "Yeah, all those salads were so good that I just couldnt fit it in.." Saves a lot of hassels.

One last note, I think a lot of the reason people can be so pushy about having to eat stuff brought in is that it makes them feel better to be eating junk if others are eating it with them. Especially in a predominantly female workplace.

[pjams]

I will eat the blueberries natural ones not cooked. In fact I love them little purple things. I could eat a ton of them and just take an extended bolus.

This reminds me of what Dr. Andrew Weill preaches. One should eat blueberries, fresh or frozen, every day. They are the best anti-oxidants one can find. I try to follow that by freezing a whole bunch when they are in season.

Another way one could handle a similar office situation is to say that one is allergic to certain thing, in this case, blueberries.

JayP

[georgepds]

....One should eat blueberries, fresh or frozen, every day. They are the best anti-oxidants one can find. I try to follow that by freezing a whole bunch when they are in season.


Not sure where you are from, but here in the northeast (US) we have frozen blueberries / blackberries / rasberries / strawberries in the supermarket.

The protein power guys ( I forget their names) list them as fruits with the highest ORCA (anti-oxcidant)

--G

[mike9876]

When I was at college a couple of years a woman was always offereing me something sweet I used to it has too much sugar in it, then one day she said what is it with you and sugar are you on a diet. I replyed no I am diabetic, could see she felt very small.

Another time in the pub a barmaid asked if I was trying to keep my figure in shape because I was drinking slimline tonic water and was joking about thinking it was funny I was watching my figure. I said I am diabetic. She looked really embarassed.

I don't know why it bothers other people what we diabetics eat and why we must be on a diet or something. I can say thats only happened twice now but I am sure it will happen again.

[slipperyelm]

I would ask any one who is thinking of sometimes saying that they are allergic to the food to please not overuse that excuse. My sibs and I all have (or had --I overcame my egg allergy in my mid twenties) food allergies and sometimes we are not taken seriously when it comes up. We sometimes get the same pleading to just eat some of this great food...the same pleading that that diabetics sometimes get. It has become somewhat common for people to appeal to " allergies" when declining food they do not want for whatever reason. This can make it harder on people who truly do have food allergies.

[Alice]

I think what confuses most people is when a Type I (boluses for carbs with insulin) turns down sweets at times...then is "caught" eating them at others. People simply don't want to hear that it's up to me as to what I want to dose insulin for...as many have said earlier, it's more of a weight issue with me. I can treat a Krispy Kreme much easier than a bowl of GrapeNuts. (Fat aside!)... It's just more info than most people are willing to hear. Information saturation beyond "I'm diabetic" gets tuned out.

[labob]

Maybe it's because I live in Los Angeles, where seemingly everyone is on one idiosyncratic diet or another (as far as I can tell, there are maybe 8,000 different ways to be a vegetarian), I don't feel the food police pressure so much. On the rare occasion when someone pushes, I do one of two things: either I say that I don't eat X (implies a choice and seems to be more effective than saying I "can't" eat X) or I just take it, don't eat it, and give it to someone who will.

But it does drive me crazy when I go to a catered lunch and there is not one single non-starchy vegetable in sight (such as the lunch that Princess Linda described above). Give me one non-starchy vegetable, and with portion control, I can make almost any other combination of foods work. But come on, chips and potato salad won't get me there (and that's way before we even get to the cobbler!). I have been known to walk out on lunches like that to head out for more healthy eating spots.

[Tabhill]

i would tell them how many units of insulin eating the cobbler would cost and remind them that their own bodies must produce the same amount and store the carbs as fat if they are not presently running a marathon to compensate for such an influx of carbs. (I would also eat the cobbler and be ****ed).