I'm having trouble.

[grace girl]

I've got a problem going here, and I don't know quite what to do about it. About three or four weeks ago I went through ten days solid of pms and I couldn't get my numbers under control for anything. I was just constanly high. All that has passed now, yet I am doing stupid things daily that are keeping me high. I'm taking all of my insulin, I'm still counting those carbs and shooting accordingly, but then an hour later I'll just go eat whatever and I just plain don't care. I've seen more 300's in the past month than ever before....and I just don't seem to care.
It's not denial, I'm pretty sure I already did that long ago. I don't feel frustrated about dealing with d, nothing is bothering me....I've analyzed myself to peices trying to figure out what is up with me, and I've got no clue.
I know I need to stop this, I know I need to get my act together, and I wake up every day telling myself I'm going to do it right today....and I don't. And I don't understand my own behavior...you'd have to know me well to understand that, but I'm probably one of the most motivated people you'll ever know. I always stay on top of EVERYTHING... It's just the way I am...I believe you should give 100% to anything you do, and I do. Except here in this one area........

If anyone has some advice, I'm open to it, just please no dramatics about complications. Fear has never been a great motivating factor for me. What could happen tomorrow doesn't move me a whole lot, I'm always more interested in right now.

[peej07]

I've been there and done that and at times I still do. For me it was a case of eating things I shouldn't and having a high here and there. In my mind I was thinking oh it just one bad number once in awhile. However that once in awhile ended up being more often than I realized. I needed a reality check to get me back on track. In my case it was a eye problem but usually a doc check up gets me moving in the right direction. I find alot of motivation on this site from all the members. I hope this helps aa little.

[Scratch]

You say you don't want any lectures about complications and I understand that because I don't like the fear motivators either.

For me, the best motivator to get control and keep control is having goals about something I wish to do. I'll tell you straight out that I absolutely hate the relentless testing and thinking to keep my blood sugars in line, but it's necessity if I'm going to run that half-marathon in November. If I slack on keeping control, I won't be well enough to train to run and I won't get to run.

And for whatever inexplicable reason, I have come to thoroughly enjoy the activity of running. Just something about it and thinking back on runs or on what the next run should try to do, it's important. It's important enough that I do my best to watch my diet, to watch my numbers, to stab myself in the fingers 10 times a day.

That's what's working for me. I don't know what might work for you, but maybe you should try to think of some ideas about things you want to be able to do and if you're going to do them, it'll mean keeping good control.

[shockme]

i'm sorry you've hit a rough spot,holly! i just got off a 3 day stupidity-binge...no testing,carb counting or lantus.....the only thing i can offer is this-you have to do it for YOU! ((((HUGS)))) trish

[Alice]

I've been through these long stretches...they often creep up and you wonder how in the world you can be so far off track...even after covering all carbs and testing regularly.

I went to Europe last year and ran extremely high every night...but would be very low while sightseeing each day. My basal seemed to be on US time...add the pasta to the situation, it took a lot of nights of getting up and testing to see if I was high...was almost every night...in the 200's & 300's. I would give myself a nighttime bolus (hate to do) and wake up the same.

It took weeks for me to get back to normal. Whatever normal is for a Type I. I think my body was really resistant due to jet lag, big meals every night & such.

I changed my insulin (have you tried opening new vials/cartridges?)...everything. After I ramped up the basal, then I started running too low at night & before meals.

Go figure. Add PMS to the picture...it just was crazy.

Now, I have little stretches like this...but, just to let you know it happens to most of us...at some point in time. This disease is called the "sneaky disease" for many reasons. It would be nice if our metabolism would cooperate every now & then!

[RobiJo]

I was stuck in that exact rut all through college. It took serious eye issues to snap me out of it. Still have the occasional day or two, but not like it was. Also, my husband got much more involved. He now asks about my blood sugars and works with me to figure out why they were off. At times what he says is tough to hear, but he reminds me of what we've been through this year and how badly he wants me to grow old with him. He's been great.

Do you have someone near you that can help keep you accountable?

[kgm0612]

I hear ya, Grace-girl. I haven't actually been a very "good diabetic" lately, myself. I do fine during the day, but I go on an eating frenzy when I get home from work. I just keep telling myself that "tomorrows a new day" and hopefully I'll get out of this rut that I'm in.

Karen

[cheryl]

Your in kind of in the I give up and I don't really care right now phase. It's not bothering you, your just moving on about your business....I think you probably needed a break....This diabetes is chronic, it just doesn't go away. So yea, if you have people needed vacations from work, or a night out away from the kids, of course one needs time to not be so uppty up about this condition....

I know I get in my moods where if I see elevated numbers, I am like ok whatever and go about my business, because there is only so much I can do as one human being...

Don't worry you'll snap out of it....It's just burnout.....

Sorry you had pms **** I hate those spells..

Cheryl

[grace girl]

Thanks....at least I know I'm not the only one. I realized this morning that I'm losing some weight, and it's obvious why....but unfortunately at the moment that really doesn't inspire me to fix things....I've been fighting thoughts all day long along the lines of....I wonder how long it would take to lose say, 10 pounds???

[Alice]

Well, we don't have to tell you not to lose the weight with high glucose...you already know thats stuff!

My first guess is that your basal needs to be adjusted...I find then my meal boluses fall into place. Sometimes magically, sometimes with a few days of frustration. But, my issues like this are almost always basal.

[GrammyByer]

Hey Grace girl, I think you need some TLC. Maybe get a massage, or go to a chic flick, or listen to a good book on CD. Maybe buy youself something that you have been wanting even if you can't afford it. If you do something to make yourself really feel good, it might be easier to get back into the old D control habit. We are all sending you strength and encouragement.

[cheryl]

I'll tell ya, I was so happy yesterday, till something really pissed me off, So I like decided to eat 6 more chicken wings that were left over, well then I had a small hypo, but fixed it with a big darn or two darn reese's cups, I bolused for non of this...Then I woke up at 230 at 5am, but I didn't give a rat's ***, I kind of took a correction and at breakfast about 8 am, then I was on my way down, but I didn't get a snack and then at too many mm's before lunch, then I ate lunch and then I was lazy, didn't think to up my rates and I was 198 for dinner, took a correction, ate all free food, and a hotdog so I bolused for 5 carbs, then i have slowly been coming down, started to move around a bit....just a bit....

Well now I am just like well, I don't care what I am in less then an hour, I really want that sweet and salty **** granola bar and an apple....

I have been blah today....really blah......oh well....

Cheryl

[marked]

I say give yourself a break. Motivation is the key yeah? Motivation is why you posted this in the first place, yeah?
And once you are motivated to keep good control, it will never leave you, one can get fed up and give up. . . for a while,but burnout will never last.
But I would take a good long look at the idea of losing weight with high blood sugars, that has eating disorder written all over it.
Mark