cooking failures

[dar917]

Just for fun....what have you made that sounded better in your head or recipe than it actually turned out?

mine:
-ramen noodles mixed with cheese soup and tuna (trashy tuna noodle hotdish)--mostly it was too salty.

-lemon cake bars--mix boxed white or angelfood cake with lemon pie filling, bake; they aren't that bad but...too sticky I guess; I'll bring them home for my mom, she eats anything. :D

-fluffy rice dessert--white rice with cool whip and mandarin oranges; a variation on glorified rice I'd swear I've had before but yet....it's not that bad but I probably won't make it again.

I just like to experiment sometimes. I don't think Food Network is gonna be calling me any time soon. :D

[princesslinda]

In my pre-D days,I made a chocolate fudge that had Velvetta cheese in it....I thought it sounded interesting...it was DREADFUL! :eek: In case anyone is interested:

Velveeta Fudge
1/2 lb. Velvetta cheese
1/2 lb. margarine

Melt cheese and margarine in Micro Wave ( not the highest setting). Make sure it is melted...

SIFT:

2 lbs. powered sugar
1/2 Cup Cocoa powder

Pour the cheese/margarine over the sifted ingredients and stir, stir, stir

ADD:
1 Tbs. Vanilla
1 Cup walnuts...I add more nuts

POUR: onto greased cookie sheet and cool. Cut into squares and freeze!

[camjen1]

I have tried to make homemade marshmallows and after slaving for about 4 hours they came out looking nothing like the one's in the book and were sticky and gooey as ****. Yes they are suppose to be gooey but they aren't suppose to glue your mouth shut.

[tanyatype1]

I love trying new recipes, and hate when something's disappointing! I made a recipe a few months ago that I got from the Kraft website - it was a "speedy" (haha!) chicken casserole. It had layers of chicken, a sauce with dijon mustard in it, swiss cheese and Stove Top stuffing. Ya,.....no one liked it. Giant casserole for the gargabe!

[notme]

I have had a few flops. The worse was my last risotto dish. It was a mushroom risotto and it was a bit gooey. I love risotto. I guess everyone has a flop now and then.

[dar917]

I have tried to make homemade marshmallows and after slaving for about 4 hours they came out looking nothing like the one's in the book and were sticky and gooey as ****. Yes they are suppose to be gooey but they aren't suppose to glue your mouth shut.

Hmm, I've wondered about making homemade marshmallows...

I love trying new recipes, and hate when something's disappointing! I made a recipe a few months ago that I got from the Kraft website - it was a "speedy" (haha!) chicken casserole. It had layers of chicken, a sauce with dijon mustard in it, swiss cheese and Stove Top stuffing. Ya,.....no one liked it. Giant casserole for the gargabe!

That doesn't sound like it would be too bad. I might use a different cheese though; I don't like swiss.

I also once tried this "magic mud pudding" recipe in the Encyclopedia of Chocolate book; I think it's supposed to come together to form kind of a spongelike texture. Well it never did; I still can't figure out what I did wrong with that one. :/

One of these days I'm gonna make my own butter. Yes, like when you were in elementary school and passed around the jar of cream and shook it until it was butter. :D

[tanyatype1]

I watched a cooking show once where they made marshmallows - they looked so freakin awesome! Never attempted to make them though - buying a bag is just so much easier!

[Peggy]

When we were first married my new husband decided to make dinner for us. Shrimp pizza. He figured we liked both shrimp and pizza, right? WRONG!!! Thirty three years later we still talk about the shrimp pizza!

[shockme]

not about origianal recipes-but-i've made box mixes of muffins that had been in the cabinet awhile...they came out like hockey pucks! thin and heavy! has that happened to anyone else?i wonder-is it cuz the flour is old? trish

[Peggy]

more likely that the baking powder or baking soda was old.

[Mich]

Speaking of hockey pucks, are we describing my pie crust? You could use it for a frisbee and it woud still hold together. I give. I just use the frozen kind now.

I also made a wonderful fat-free, sugar-free cheescake that I had to serve in Champagne glasses with spoons. Good though.

Chef Boy-ar-Mich

[dar917]

When we were first married my new husband decided to make dinner for us. Shrimp pizza. He figured we liked both shrimp and pizza, right? WRONG!!! Thirty three years later we still talk about the shrimp pizza!

Hmm. Did you use tomato sauce and regular mozzarella? I bet if you used a white garlic sauce or alfredo kind of thing it would be good!

[Keezheekoni]

The only thing I've ever made that was a total failure was a recipe that was my grandmother's. A few months before she passed, I was visiting with her. I asked her to make her famous (okay, probably only in the family) maple raisin cake. I sat there and helped her, but I was also writing down all of the measurements of everything. I also wrote the timings and all of the steps.

I then lost the notebook, after only making the cake on my own twice. (More than likely it's somewhere in my house, but there are so many hiding places...and who knows, one of my kids might have needed a notebook for school and I accidentally gave it to one of them!)

I tried making it from memory. That was a disaster. I then called two of my dad's sisters, thinking they'd have grandma's recipe...to no avail. Apparently I was the only person in the entire family that my grandma trusted the recipe to...and I have lost it. :( If I ever find that notebook I, not to mention my dad, will be ecstatic!

[volleyball]

The only thing I've ever made that was a total failure was a recipe that was my grandmother's. A few months before she passed, I was visiting with her. I asked her to make her famous (okay, probably only in the family) maple raisin cake. I sat there and helped her, but I was also writing down all of the measurements of everything. I also wrote the timings and all of the steps.

I then lost the notebook, after only making the cake on my own twice. (More than likely it's somewhere in my house, but there are so many hiding places...and who knows, one of my kids might have needed a notebook for school and I accidentally gave it to one of them!)

I tried making it from memory. That was a disaster. I then called two of my dad's sisters, thinking they'd have grandma's recipe...to no avail. Apparently I was the only person in the entire family that my grandma trusted the recipe to...and I have lost it. :( If I ever find that notebook I, not to mention my dad, will be ecstatic!

Have you ever tried hypnotism to help you remember?

[Keezheekoni]

No...unfortunately I can never relax enough for hypnosis... I'm a control freak!

[notme]

Pie crust is easy.

For a double pie crust use
2 cups flour,
1 cup of Crisco,
pinch of salt and
6TBS of ICE water (not tap temp).

Use two knifes and cut through the dough (or use a pie crust tool) don't handle the dough with your hands or it will get tough. When dough is cut up to the size of peas, add 6 tbls of ICE water and cut it in (still no hands on dough). Push all the dough together with your hands until it just forms a ball. Don't handle dough to much. Form one big ball and then split in half for top and bottom crust. Roll out dough on wax paper. Make sure to put flour on wax paper bottom and top of dough ball before rolling out. If you put water on the counter and then wax paper on the top, it will stop the paper and dough from sliding around. Place in your pie dish and poke holes in the bottom of the dough for vents. Put in filling and then top with your other flattened half of pie dough. VOILA.....very light and flakey dough.

[xMenace]

The first and only time I tried to make a chocolate cake from scratch was a total disaster. I can't remember exactly what I did, but it was a metric mixup. It called for something like two cups of flour and I put in two litres or kg. I ended up with one huge hockey puck!

[Peggy]

Dar, the shrimp pizza was with regular tomato based sauce and mozzarella cheese. In the years since I've thought that maybe an alfredo type, or even cocktail sauce rather than the regular pizza sauce with a different kind of cheese might work. But after that first disaster I don't even want to try it!

[srpkinja]

here it goes:
frozen pollock, 2 lbs (one that releases a lot of liquid when it melts)
salt, pepper
1/2 cup of water (very BAD idea)
oil
few slices of lemon
bread crumbs all over
------
bake for 30 mins

you'll get mashed something with bitter/fishy taste!:congrats:
not even my cats wanted to try it, let alone my family

[dar917]

Dar, the shrimp pizza was with regular tomato based sauce and mozzarella cheese. In the years since I've thought that maybe an alfredo type, or even cocktail sauce rather than the regular pizza sauce with a different kind of cheese might work. But after that first disaster I don't even want to try it!

Hmmm, perhaps I shall have to make one and tell you if it's any good. :D

Oh, now I remember another epic cooking failure. I once tried to make an 8x8 in. cake using Equal instead of sugar. I think that was a square hockey puck. :D

[Peggy]

I think we've all had failures when first experimenting with substituting equal or splenda in baking! My first attempt was a banana bread that was good for nothing but a doorstop!

[dar917]

I tried making cherry truffles for Christmas. Didn't use enough powdered sugar though so they get too soft too fast. The recipe I was going off of just said "enough powdered sugar to make it a thick consistency".

I think I'll use the goo to frost chocolate cookies and cupcakes instead. :D

[Old man]

Salmon ring. The recipe called for rice. I swear it never said cooked rice. My wife said I was supposed to know. It looked somewhat like a porcupine and even I couldn't eat it with the uncooked rice. Also any recipe that calls for sugar or syrup to be cooked to the softball stage. It is always either like glass or adhesive. Many years ago before I had aspired to my current comfortable level of poverty I bought several old hens, molting and too old to lay, er... the hens that is. I guess you would call them menopausal. My first wife simply fried one. I'll bet some future archeologist will find that tough old bird someday. Pardon me for being so bold as to offer culinary advice but think twice before using any recipe calling for vienna sausage, sardines, or potted meat. That's my tip for the day.