Having a lousey D week

[VinceF]

I had my second day of laser today in my left eye. Yesterday was the first day in the right eye. After my visit today the eye Dr told me he coould not do any more laser and if my vessels did not regress I'd have to see a retina specialist. That makes me feel hopeless.

On top of that my brother (49) calls to tell me he's T1 and starting insulin today. My brother/his wife and I do not talk. Now I find that my personal D tormentor as a child wants my help and I feel a need to help him.

Anybody here have any suggestions eye wise or sibling advice? I intend to help him as much as I can.

[UpNorth]

Maybe this can make you and your brother get closer again, after all, you're family!

Just try to be there for him, i'm sure he didn't know how serious it is when he was annoying you when young... Give it a chance at least.

And why not suggest him to join these forums :)


I really hope everything will turn out ok, both eyewise and with your brother!

[kgm0612]

Vince.........Sorry you're having a rough time.

It wouldn't hurt to set up an appointment with the retina specialist (if you haven't seen one already) and get his/her opinion.

As far as your brother is concerned..........we don't know the details as to why you and your brother haven't spoken in years, but maybe it's time to forget the past and move on into the future. Who knows, it may end up helping you both.

Good Luck!

Karen

[xMenace]

I had my second day of laser today in my left eye. Yesterday was the first day in the right eye. After my visit today the eye Dr told me he coould not do any more laser and if my vessels did not regress I'd have to see a retina specialist. That makes me feel hopeless.

I assume an opthamologist did the laser. How many zaps did you get? Was this pan-retinal photocoagulation?

He/she is correct, but don't be too down. It's the standard schpeel most of us get. Truthfully the prognosis is probably pretty darn good.

[princesslinda]

Hey Vince, sounds like you've had quite a week. I'll defer eye advice to the experts here....you're in good hands with these guys!

As for your brother, that's a tough position to be in when there's "baggage" involved. Personally, I find satisfaction to "taking the high road" and suggest you offer him the same advice and help you'd give to one of us if we asked you. Basically, past is past, and neither of you can change what has transpired....but you BOTH can go forward and make changes if you want. If it makes you feel better, have a long overdue chat and clear the air.

Hang in there....hope things turn around for you soon!

[VinceF]

Yes it was a pan-retinal...way back in 89 I had pan-retinal. Thanks to technology leaps my current Opthamologist thought he could fill in some of the laser so he did. It was a bit of a surprise when my current one said no more after only 400 burns.

At my mothers birthday dinner my brothers wife attacked my daughter (10 months), my wife and myself. We waited for some form of a appology but none ever came. Who in their right mind attacks a 10 month old? Needless to say we feel we need to protect her from the nuttier side of the family. I do hope to have some kind of normalised relationship with my brother...but I'm not sure that's ever going to happen.

As a child my brother did all the things others write about on DF that hurts. Long ago I forgave...then it all came back.

[xMenace]

Ok, so you have re-occurring neo-vascularization. Stage 2 I suppose. I understand what you are feeling. It's a deep sense of dread that's very hard to deal with. While your future is cloudy (pun), you can still maintain much confidence in todays techniques; though they are not fun.

They'll likely want you in every three months now for check-ups. I have no idea what the odds are, but there's probably a better than even chance you'll hemmhorrage and need surgery. Those vessels shrinking back certainly adds lots of time, but they do eventually return. It may take years to do so, as they are now. If you do bleed, make sure you see the doctor(s) asap as laser may help stop it. You'll also want to be on top of it to get surgery before scar tissue buildup happens. Surgery isn't that bad and has a very high success rate. I and others here are proof of that.

Gotta keep the A1C down. We can control that.

[princesslinda]

Vince, you have to do what's best for you and your family.....protecting your family is paramount. Your brother can certainly find out how to manage his diabetes without you....if you worry about the wellbeing (either mental or physical) of your family....let him deal with his health, just as you deal with yours.

Sorry for your hurt....I understand how our childhood demons have a way of reappearing when we least expect them.

[shiftzor]

Poetic justice in a sick sense :(, I personally think family is really important and I hope you can have a good relationship with your brother. Life is too short to hold grudges.

Offer him what you know (exp/websites/forums/books) and let him mull it over. It is a lot to take in all at once. Or in this situation maybe let him ask all the questions that way you can get talking to him. You know him better than I do ;)

[VinceF]

Okay X-menace are you talking vitrectomy? I have a question about vitrectomy...becuse my retina is "welded up" am I back on my feet relativly quick? Or is there a bubble used to hold it in place? They have talked a little bit to me about a vitrectomy. My A1C is 6.4

Later in life my brother and I lived together and became very close. He sited my D on his application into the medical profession and I the best man in his wedding

I have done peer couceling with other diabetics...now I feel like I need some

Thanks - Dave

[UpNorth]

I think you should give him a chance... After all, it was his wife trying to attack your child...
At least be there over the phone...

[peej07]

[QUOTE=VinceF;301515]Okay X-menace are you talking vitrectomy? I have a question about vitrectomy...becuse my retina is "welded up" am I back on my feet relativly quick? Or is there a bubble used to hold it in place? They have talked a little bit to me about a vitrectomy. My A1C is 6.4

It all depends on the situation. In my case, that has been on going for 6 months, my Doc continues to wait and see how well it clears on it's own. If I have Vict or "Hoovering" as X would say, in my case I wouldn't need a bubble and I should be up and moving pretty quick. However I don't have any retina damage and my sight is 20/20 when the debris is not there. There are some very informative videos online that helped ease my mind. I wish you the best.

-Chris

[Jan B]

Big hugs and well wishes to you.

Concerning your brother: Be kind. It's easy to be nice to nice people -- that doesn't take any special person at all. BUT, being kind to someone who has wronged you is a BIG thing to do. And it even hurts the one who wronged you (so there's your justice!). Just try real hard ok? I'm not saying it's easy, but it would be great.

[xMenace]

Okay X-menace are you talking vitrectomy? I have a question about vitrectomy...becuse my retina is "welded up" am I back on my feet relativly quick? Or is there a bubble used to hold it in place? They have talked a little bit to me about a vitrectomy. My A1C is 6.4

Later in life my brother and I lived together and became very close. He sited my D on his application into the medical profession and I the best man in his wedding

I have done peer couceling with other diabetics...now I feel like I need some

Thanks - Dave

I went into the hospital at 6am and was standing in line at Tim Hortons at 10:30am. I was supposed to not lift anything for three months and could not exercise. I took three weeks off work, but many are back after one. The drops are the worst part, 3 or 4 times a day.

Bubbles are used to hold the retina in place after a tear is repaired; though I suspect there are other reasons too. I think that affects mostly your sleeping. You have to sleep on your belly until it's gone. I'm not sure how I'd do that.

I have two friends here that have gone back for second virectomies 20+ years after the first, and they are still hanging on.

[VinceF]

Thanks for the replies in both instances.

I did meet with my brother yesterday to help him with his first shot...even though he's given me many. It was sad to see him all hosed up. He was shaking and I'd never seen him that scared. I walked him through his first hypo treatment today..he's still honeymooning. I can hear how scared he is on the phone...it hurts to see/hear him like that. Thanks for the help. I'm sure it's not over yet.

-Dave