What to do with free food [Archive]

Hammer

05-30-2008, 11:48 AM

Hmmm....well, I'm sure everyone here has faced this before, so I wondered how you handled it. If you're at someone's house or if you're in a restaurant, what do you do when free food is forced on you by unwitting friends, family, whomever. Especially if the food is a big no-no like sweets?

I realize that most people could just say, no I can't have that because of my diabetes, but in my case, no one knows I have diabetes and I want to keep it that way.

Usually I'll just eat it or take it home with me, but I hate to waste food, so if I don't eat it, I'd have to just throw it away.

This happened to me again last night and I thought I'd bring it up here. I went to a KFC for some fried chicken. It's been a long time since I've gone to a KFC, and I wanted to see what eating fried chicken would do to my numbers. I ordered the original and took the breaded skin off, because I wanted to see my numbers with just the chicken.

When I got there, it was 30 minutes before closing and they told me they had no original chicken ready to serve. It would take 20 minutes to make so did I want to wait. Well, yes I would wait, because the whole idea was to see what the original chicken would do to my BG, so it didn't make sense to get anything else.

Well, 20+ minutes later, they brought me out my chicken, but because I had to wait so long, they gave me a free cake. This cake is a chocolate devils food cake with white icing and it serves six. The manager apologized for the wait, handed me the bag with the chicken and the cake in it, and went back inside. I didn't have a chance to say anything, so I just left and went home. Now I have this cake in my refrigerator.

I figure I'll just toss it in the trash and that will be the end of it. It bothers me to have to throw out food though, so I thought I'd ask what others do in situations like this. There isn't anyone I can give it to, since I don't really know my neighbors.

I've had other experiences with friends or family when they want me to stay for dinner, and they have something like spaghetti and meatballs, or pizza....something that a diabetic should stay away from. They know I can eat a lot so if I just eat a little, they'll think I don't like their food, although lately I've been eating less and they know I've cut back a good bit. Do you just eat it and worry about the numbers later?.....maybe exercise when you get home?

derf

05-30-2008, 12:04 PM

Considering that fast food cake probably has no food value whatsoever, I wouldn't feel bad about tossing it.

princesslinda

05-30-2008, 12:14 PM

Hammer, if you don't want to tell them you have diabetes, tell them you're on a diet...or just trying to be healthier.

If you're out to eat with someone, just order something healthy and diabetic friendly. Almost every place has chicken, grilled veggies and salad...or get a baked potato and eat 1/2....or a sweet potatoe....if they are crude enough to comment, just repeat "i'm trying to eat healthier." Everyone is aware of the low-carb craze...claim you're into that now.

If you're around spaghetti, eat the salad and just a little spaghetti..or salad and one slice of pizza or the top of the pizza...again, use the low-carb claim. After you've done this a time or two, they'll get use to it and stop commenting.

As for the KFC situation, if you don't want the cake to be thrown out, take it to work with you...if its like my office, it will be gone quickly.

slipperyelm

05-30-2008, 12:14 PM

That is kind of tough for me. First it seems so wrong to throw away food and there is no one else around to give it to. Second, I am almost powerless over food. The only way for me to stay on track with my eating is not to have the stuff around that would be so wrong for my BG.

But I do have one thing I can do with food that makes me feel better. I can put it in my compost pile. Then it can feed the microbes, feed the earth, make my tomatoes, pumpkins, cabbage, cucumbers, peppers, beans and celery grow. So I do not have to feel that it has been completely wasted.

Some people have pets that they can feed certain excess food to.

Keezheekoni

05-30-2008, 12:21 PM

Everyone knows that I'm diabetic. I don't have any problems with telling anyone that I have diabetes.

I guess if I didn't want the freebie, then I'd give it to my kids. If they didn't want it, and if I worked, then I'd bring it to work with me. When I did work outside the home, I knew that the vultures at work would do away with it quickly enough.

Hammer

05-30-2008, 12:51 PM

Derf, you're probably right about the fast food cake, although these cakes are apparently baked by Pillsbury and sold to KFC.

Linda, I've used that line about being on a diet before, the thing is, my family is Italian....they don't believe in diets. They usually have the comeback line, "One time isn't going to hurt your diet, and besides, I made this especially for you."

My mom is famous for doing that. When I was dating my girlfriend (who later became my wife), we would eat dinner at my mom's house twice a week at my mother's insistence. My wife gained 10 pounds and said that she wasn't going to eat there anymore, because my mom would "guilt" you into eating more.

If dinner would consist of my mom, stepfather, sister, myself and my girlfriend, my mom would make enough food for 20 people, and she made sure that she made a favorite food for everyone there. She'd have at least one, sometimes two different meats, three different vegetables, mashed potatoes, a large tossed salad, fresh baked rolls, and at least two different desserts.

For example, after you ate and were stuffed, she'd offer you some homemade apple pie. If you told her you were stuffed and couldn't eat another bite, she'd guilt you into having some by saying, "But it's your favorite....I made it especially for you, and it's hot. You need to eat it while it's still warm." You'd give in and say, "Okay fine, but just give me a little piece and I'll try to eat it slowly."

She'd go into the kitchen and say, "I'm going to put some vanilla ice cream on it, because I know you like it with vanilla ice cream and I got your favorite brand of vanilla." There was no use in arguing with her, because she'd win anyway.

She'd bring you the pie and it would be 1/4 of the pie with a quart of ice cream on it. It was so much that she had to put in in a bowl to keep it all together. You'd sit there at the table for a long time slowly eating it.

At least now that I'm older, I can use my "I just can't eat that much anymore" line, but that still doesn't stop her (or my sister) from making really good, but really high carbohydrate foods for dinner.

As for the cake....I'll just throw it out. I'm not working now, so there's noplace to take it to, although you're right, if you take food to work, it will rapidly vanish.:)

I know you're thinking that I should just tell them I'm diabetic, but that's not an ooption for me. I'm a very private person when it comes to my health, and I never tell anyone about any personal problems I might have. I figure they'll worry about me and that's not something I want. Back when I was married and doing construction work, I'd get laid off when the construction job finished up.(usually on a Friday). I'd never tell my wife that I got laid off....there was no point in ruining her weekend. I'd just go down to the union hall on Monday and see if there was another job I could go to. If there was, I'd just go. My wife would never know and would never have to worry.

Heck, I remember many years ago when my stepfather was told he had diabetes. When my mother found out, she started crying and got all stressed out about it. She was constantly worrying about him and fussed over his meals and what he should be doing healthwise for it. I won't let that happen with me. She has enough to worry about without worrying about me. The same goes for my other family members. I don't want anyone worrying about me...that's my job.

Holly

05-30-2008, 01:08 PM

My neighbours know our diabetic status and are always willing to take anything from me to support our lifestyle change.

princesslinda

05-30-2008, 01:10 PM

I do know where you're coming from as far as family gatherings...I'm from the south...everything we eat is deep fried :D and has mashed potatoes and cornbread on the side...and let's not forget good old southern sweet tea!

My family knows I have diabetes and I still get the " having one dessert isn't going to kill you." Seems there's no easy answers when it comes to dealing with family.

I can appreciate your not wanting to worry them, but you can't let them unknowingly sabotage your health either....or they'll certainly reason to worry when that happens.

I guess on family dinner days you'll have to plan for your meals, exercising a lot before hand and eating very low carb the rest of that day....then check and see what your blood sugars are after the meal so you will know where you stand. One thing I always try to do is check my blood sugar anytime I "over-do." Otherwise, its too easy for me to be in denial about what different foods may do to my blood sugar.

MaireC

05-30-2008, 03:17 PM

It depends on the situation and how close I am to certain people.

For instance, if they were giving out cake in work and it wasn't a special occasion, I'll wrap it in a napkin and go straight to my friends house after work. She could exist on chocolate and have perfect blood sugars (we tested her every fifteen minutes for four hours once just to check her out as she has a very sweet tooth). If it's a birthday cake then I'll take it and eat one or two forkfull's. Then I'll bring the rest back to my desk and hide it in a napkin and from there it goes straight into the bin. Unless I've been good all week, in which case it gets stuffed straight into my mouth:D with minimal guilt.

If it's free food in a buffet, I just won't go near it, or I will put a few pieces on a plate and might just take one bite to make it look like I'm eating it. Just purely to fit in. If anyone who doesn't know me asks me if I want any more I'd just say that I'm on my second plate and I'm fine. People that know me just smile as they know my secret.

Sometimes, though, it's easier just to say that I don't eat cake. Or biscuits. Or I've just had lunch / a big bar of chocolate. Or I don't like --insert food here--. Or it doesn't agree with me.

If they are any way sane they will leave it at that. Though there is one girl in work that continued to press food on me and look at me strangely when I would say no thank you, or leave half the food behind. All because she has another diabetic friend who eats whatever he wants when he wants. She knows I'm not on much medication for it and am trying to regulate it mostly by diet and kept saying 'You can't live like that all the time / One slice of cake won't kill you!'
I think she's just one of those people who don't get that it won't kill you now. It will kill you later. I lectured her once on why I am the way I am, including the 'I don't want to lose -insert limb here-' talk and the 'my uncle was a diabetic for most of his life and he died aged 60 from various diabeties related ailments and my other uncle is now legally blind and can't feel anything in his fingertips' talk. I think she finally got the message, especially when the other two diabetics in work gave me a round of applause. She now no longer bugs me.

But back on topic, like I said it all depends on what's going on and who I am with. If it is a situation like you described, I'd just take the cake and dump it the minute I got outside. It wouldn't even make it inside the house.

Hammer

05-30-2008, 04:41 PM

It's hard when you're a physically big person and you've always eaten large quantities of food with no problem. My brother, who is 1½ years older than me and 1 inch taller has always been able to out eat me. As teenagers my mom would take us to Burger King once in a while, and he'd get three Whoppers, two large orders of french fries, and two large milkshakes to start. I could only handle two Whoppers and two large french fries and one large milkshake. He'd always get at least another large order of french fries and another large milkshake to go.

As I've aged, my appetite has changed. Now I can go to Burger King and just get a garden salad and that's enough for me. Of course, I can still eat those two Whoppers and fries, but I find that I don't need to stuff myself to avoid the hunger pangs, so I eat a lot more sensibly now.

It just occurred to me that when people force food on me, I could always refuse it with the excuse, "It'll bother my IBS and I don't want to aggravate that." They all know how bad IBS can be, so that would probably stop them from forcing any more food on me.:)

shutterbug

05-30-2008, 05:06 PM

I'd usually toss it in the trash. Because, if I give myself a minute to think, my instincts would make me eat at least 1 serving if not more. But, once you throw it in the trash, you wouldn't pick it up again!

mortis505

05-30-2008, 06:50 PM

Hammer, please don't take offense at this but I'm not sure which is worse. Saying that it would irritate your IBS or simply stating that you have D. I can understand the need for privacy in some situations, but IMHO stating that It will elevate your BS levels is probably less embarrassing than discussing IBS.

Or more to the point as Nancy Reagan used to say, "Just say NO!" as in no thanks. Or "Sorry, I just cant have that." No explanation should be required.

Family is, of course, an entirely different situation. (Italian families doubly so[my previous step mother is Italian])The above ideas concerning exercise are good. But I would like to add that drinking water may help as well. It's filling and depending on your geographic location, will keep you hydrated during those annoyingly hot days.

My only concern at this point would be that (please forbid) something happens and your mother find out another way that you have D. I've seen an Italian mother when cross. I would not want to be the target of that one.

As with anything I say. No offense is meant. These are just my ramblings. Ignore them if you prefer.

bryan42

05-30-2008, 07:13 PM

Sounds like a good chance to meet your neighbors :) They maybe great people, and SOMEONE has to break the ice :)

judi t

05-30-2008, 07:21 PM

Heck, I remember many years ago when my stepfather was told he had diabetes. When my mother found out, she started crying and got all stressed out about it. She was constantly worrying about him and fussed over his meals and what he should be doing healthwise for it. I won't let that happen with me. She has enough to worry about without worrying about me. The same goes for my other family members. I don't want anyone worrying about me...that's my job.

So you're prepared to martyr yourself so you don't cause any upset for your mother? She's an adult; yes, perhaps a particularly sensitive, loving and emotional parent, but she can only develop as a person and understand things if you allow her the opportunity. My own mother - and I know they're all different - would be devastated if I didn't share such important information about myself with her.

It's good that you're so caring but imagine how upset she'd be if you continued being 'guilted' into eating inappropriately and consequently developed a complication from the diabetes that you didn't tell her about.

Anyway, good luck with it. Why not **** the torpedoes and just come clean with everyone about having diabetes. Yes, you'll get annoyed and patronised and have to put up with all sorts of stupid remarks from the ignorant, but at least you can knock back the occasional cake for six.

xMenace

05-30-2008, 07:43 PM

Chappo

05-30-2008, 08:08 PM

I had some free sandies at an event Wednesday evening. I was hungry so I had four halves. The meat was alright, but the bread was simply brutal. It was the first store-bought bread I've had since November except for a hambaurger bun in April. God awful stuff this bread. Once you do homemade, you can't do that stuff again, free or not. Next time it get's passed over. Thanks for making me type that!

And you probably don't have Coeliac's to look after as well!

To the OP: I think it's better to use whatever you're more comfortable with. You shouldn't have to be forced to eat because you don't want to mention either IBS or Diabetes.

In fact, i think it's a pride thing for me when i kindly turn food down - i know i've made the right decision and it takes some guts to do that. :)

xMenace

05-30-2008, 08:10 PM

And you probably don't have Coeliac's to look after as well!

No I don't.

My SIL in waiting does. I'm quite impressed at his ability to say no to food.

barbarac

05-30-2008, 08:33 PM

Most of you seem to have understanding friends. Mine don't seem to understand. Like one gave me a big tin of homemade peanut brittle at Christmas (which I love, but could anything be worse for you), another got a big basket at Sam's that had all kinds of chocolates, cookies, and crackers in it. What kind of present is that to give someone you know who is diabetic, trying, but in bad control. Going out to eat they love (and so do I) places I should not be going--like Cracker Barrel, Golden Coral (all you can eat buffet place). I think if they knew how lousy I feel a lot and what my numbers are maybe they would be more understanding, but . . .

Hammer

05-30-2008, 10:05 PM

I'm glad everyone is adding to this thread. It lets me know that you have the same problems as I do with food offerings.

mortis505....don't ever hesitate to give an honest opinion....especially to me. I appreciate what you have to say, and no offense would ever be taken.;)

The thing is, IBS isn't something you can hide. I mean, when you're in the middle of a meal and you have to stop to go to the bathroom (several times), people will begin to ask questions. Add to that the fact that my mother has IBS and it's something we discuss all the time. To be honest I don't think I have IBS. I think my stomach problems were being caused by my high BG levels. Once I got my numbers down to a more normal level, the IBS disappeared. I haven't had any more stomach problems since my numbers reached the normal range.

Also, I'm not embarrassed about my diabetes, I just don't like to tell people my problems. I've always been that way. If a family member somehow found out, I guess I'd have to deal with it. Here in the DB forum, I'm anonymous, so talking about it isn't the same as talking to family. If anyone remembers, I really hadn't planned on talking about it in here either, but the really nice people here kind of opened me up, so I feel comfortable discussing things here.

As I mentioned earlier, I don't tell people because I don't want them to worry about me. My mother had to watch her parents both die from diabetes. She also saw her husband (my stepfather) die from it. Her oldest brother died from it. Her oldest sister is dying from it. Her younger sister was just diagnosed with it. My mom and her youngest brother are the only two in her family that don't have it. In her eyes, diabetes has taken away her family so it scares her. Everyone she has ever known and loved who had it has died from it. Why tell her I have it? It would serve no purpose except to scare her and make her worry. If she were to find out, she wouldn't be mad that I didn't tell her, she'd just go crazy with worry.

I may end up being forced to tell my older brother soon because he's talking about coming home for a visit. When he visits, he usually stays at my place. If that happens, there's no way I can hide 25 Lantus Solostar pens and several Byetta boxes in my refrigerator. He's going to see them and ask about them.....not to mention the boxes of needles and all the bags of cotton balls, bottles of alcohol, boxes of test strips, lancets, etc. I could probably hide the needles and stuff, but the Lantus and Byetta need to be stored in the refrigerator. I'll worry about it when it happens.

One reason I think that people who know a person is diabetic yet still try to get them to eat the wrong foods is because diabetes has no visible signs. We don't look sick. We don't have pale skin, hives, rashes, or anything else that's physically visible. Since they see no visible signs of illness, they figure the disease can't be all that bad, so what's the harm in eating a few sweets? They don't understand that if they were to see visible signs of the disease, it would be too late.

That reminds me of when I used to go to the gym. I was in excellent shape back then....no fat, trim waist, muscular arms. When I wasn't able to go somewhere with friends because I told them I had to go to the gym, they'd respond with, "Why do you need to go to the gym? You're in great shape." Did they think I was born in great shape? Did they think I just sat around and watched TV to stay in shape? If I didn't go to the gym, I wouldn't have been in great shape.:rolleyes:

Chappo

05-30-2008, 10:22 PM

No I don't.

My SIL in waiting does. I'm quite impressed at his ability to say no to food.

Oh, SIL in waiting! So therefore a big Congratulations to you is due!!!!

:)

Luckily there are 3 Coeliac's at my workplace (insane, really) so we all share tips and have our lunches together. Kind of fun, really :)

thelitov

05-31-2008, 01:33 AM

Hi Hammer, That KFC outlet manager is sure mighty generous giving you that big cake. We don't have these special trwats at our KFC. Maybe he's also diabetic and just giving it away. Hah!
I'd probably have a taste (one thin slice) and bring it to office next day.

UpNorth

05-31-2008, 03:50 AM

Hmmm if it's around family, then you could just say you want to avoid those carbs because they make you feel unwell these days. You don't need to say you're diabetic, but give them a hint sort of. Simply say you feel better on low carb diet, if you have to, then you could say you think you might be diabetic so the low carbs makes you feel better...

Everyone around me knows i'm diabetic, but i've asked them to not change anything when it comes to dinners and things like that. I know myself what i can handle and not and in what amounts. Sure, i'm T1 and on insulin so i have a lot more flexibility that way... I just cover what i eat with insulin...
I even have cake quite often :D

volleyball

05-31-2008, 06:01 AM

I'm glad everyone is adding to this thread. It lets me know that you have the same problems as I do with food offerings.

mortis505....don't ever hesitate to give an honest opinion....especially to me. I appreciate what you have to say, and no offense would ever be taken.;)

Also, I'm not embarrassed about my diabetes, I just don't like to tell people my problems. I've always been that way. If a family member somehow found out, I guess I'd have to deal with it.
As I mentioned earlier, I don't tell people because I don't want them to worry about me. My mother had to watch her parents both die from diabetes. Everyone she has ever known and loved who had it has died from it. Why tell her I have it? It would serve no purpose except to scare her and make her worry. If she were to find out, she wouldn't be mad that I didn't tell her, she'd just go crazy with worry.

I may end up being forced to tell my older brother soon because he's talking about coming home for a visit. I'll worry about it when it happens.

That reminds me of when I used to go to the gym. I was in excellent shape back then....no fat, trim waist, muscular arms. When I wasn't able to go somewhere with friends because I told them I had to go to the gym, they'd respond with, "Why do you need to go to the gym? You're in great shape." Did they think I was born in great shape? Did they think I just sat around and watched TV to stay in shape? If I didn't go to the gym, I wouldn't have been in great shape.:rolleyes:

You're dealing with a lot. I sympathize but also think a lot of it you are doing to yourself. You need support. You need someone to open up to. You keep all this inside you, it's a guy thing. To be strong. Well you are not strong when you are in the hospital getting something removed. Find several people and tell them parts of the story, friends, clergy, strangers even or the pros.
I did not tell my family right away as I'm a guy but when I started seeing things in my own family, I went on a quest. I became adamant in my resolve in dealing with my family. I tell t hem how they should be eating, I took over holidays from my mom and I do them all now, she resisted initially but now she is so glad that burden is of of her, although she is not like you mom who shows love through food. I do the diabetic friendly menu along with some not so friendly and for years, they all insist on coming to my dinners and I have a lot of sisters.
I am not italian but grew up in an italian neighborhood where food was king. And throwing it away was a sin.
Your brother coming to town is a windfall for you, your time to come out of the closet so to speak. Tell him the truth. tell him it will more likely affect him and you want to help him avoid your situation, he may come out too, seems like your family hides stuff like that. But ask him to be your ally when you tell your mom. She most likely will get upset, especially if you do it just before a family feast, do it at a time when there is no pressure. Maybe take her out to a restaurant that isn't the family favorite and order properly. Do NOT order her suggestions or extra because of her. Then tell her this is the way you eat and the only way you will eat.
She may need time to digest your new lifestyle, I assume it would be almost like telling her you were gay, or she might surprise you and be very understanding.
At some point you may want to start changing her idea about food, it may be hard, most likely impossible, but if you tell her that as a good mom, her changing will do more to help her with her children than feeding them, she may make this her new mission in life. What mother would not prefer a happy, healthy thin child than an unhappy, sick, fat one.
As for the food, think of tossing it as the less wasteful thing to do, all that insulin, all those needles you are saving from being used.
walk around your neighborhood, walk your dog or a friends dog, hire yourself out as a dog walker or offer to do it free for a neighbor, you'll soon find someone who could use the extra food and be glad to take it off of your hands and you'll have another friend which we are all have too ew of.

slipperyelm

05-31-2008, 06:39 AM

:eek: I don't suppose you see signs of diabetes in your Mom. She has all that family history, now including family history she doesn't know about--her own young offspring. Like you, she has IBS. Your IBS is so much better when you get your blood glucose down. Well, maybe her IBS would improve the same way--if she is diabetic and can get the BG down, hmmm? Plus the older one gets, the more likely type 2 is to show up.

I think eventually you are going to want to ask your Mom to have a look at her own health.... Slowly let that thought into your mind....

David_S

05-31-2008, 08:09 PM

I say no. NO thank you and I don't take and I don't eat it. I wear a medical ID.. to save my life if I am in an ER, ambulance.. so I won't be given a sugar laden IV. My wife and family know I am diabetic.. I have to test, inject.. pack carb friendly lunches.. they have to know. Initially.. yes there was worry, concern and questions.. now we have a handle on it and the SUPPORT I get is well worth the initial bummer having this disease was for me.
I can't imagine for a minute eating pie at my mums and not just saying.. I can't mom.. it isn't good for me. I lost a job too.. and again.. SUPPORT from my wife made a diff. for me. I can not imagine why anyone would bottle up and deal with any all of lifes issues alone. I think that would be so isolating.
You are not sparing anyone anything.. they care about you.. of course they may worry. But they can be the best support in you managing your health.. instead of your family presenting obstacles for you to figure out a way around without telling them honestly what is happening with you.
I can't imagine trying to figure this all out on my own. I wish you could talk to someone who really knows you instead of just computer support.. don't get me wrong.. this is supportive but so is having a sugar free option at a meal because they know I am coming and love me.

David_S

05-31-2008, 08:09 PM

Chappo

05-31-2008, 08:29 PM

David, i really enjoyed reading your post and you're spot on :)

Hammer

05-31-2008, 11:11 PM

Well my mom is a health nut. She always eats healthy...she's always seeing the doctor at the first sign of any health issues....she's been tested for just about everything under the sun....just to ease her mind.(they never find anything). Her IBS was a real problem for her for many years, then about a year ago, it just went away. She didn't do anything any different, she didn't change her diet or change any medications, it just went away.

These days when I visit her,(once or twice a month....she lives in a neighboring state, so it's a long drive), she'll make dinner for me, but she makes a different dinner for herself. What she eats is low-fat, health food. She is slender, never eats much, and always eats healthy. For everyone else, she makes "normal" food, even though I tell her to just make more of whatever she's having and I'll eat that.(sometimes she will do that.)

I guess noone else here can understand my feelings toward my diabetes. First, it's not a burden to me. If it weren't for the meds, I'd never think about it at all. I only think about it for the two minutes it takes to take the insulin and Byetta. Once the shot is over, it's no longer an issue with me.

To try and put it in perspective so others get a feel for how I view it, I'll try to relate it to something that most people can relate to. Let's see....okay, do any of you wear glasses? If your glasses are dirty and they need to be cleaned, if you went to bed and forgot to clean them, but once you were in bed you remembered, would you get out of bed to clean them? Would it bother you all night knowing that they were still dirty? I would guess that most people wouldn't think twice about the fact that they were dirty. Okay, that's how much concern I have for my diabetes. I have it...it's there....what's on TV?:)

That's how little I'm concerned about having it....and it isn't just because it's diabetes. If it were any disease, I'd feel the same way. As I said in another post, I don't get excited, I don't worry about anything. I use logic to survive and worrying isn't logical, so I don't do it.

I'm not trying to trivialize other people's diabetes, it's just that for me, my diabetes is a non-issue....as is my high blood pressure.....my bad back....my arthritic elbows...my sleep apnea. I have these things....I can't change that, so worrying about them isn't going to be productive so I don't bother worrying.

As for being alone....I've been alone all my life. Even when I was married I felt alone. I was married for 15 years and my wife never really knew me. She never knew what I was thinking or how I really felt about anything. Like Volleyball said, it's partly a man thing. Men just don't tell people what's going on inside of them because that's not how we are. I deal with whatever life throws at me, and I don't involve other people. Whatever problem arises, I just look at it logically, arrive at a solution, and implement the solution. I don't worry about it, I don't get excited about it, I just do it and it's over.

I'm so private about my health that I'll never wear an ID bracelet that indicates that I'm diabetic. If I'd ever have to be rushed to the hospital unconscious, I'd rather die than have them know I'm diabetic.(if I'm unconscious, then obviously I'm in pretty bad shape anyway, so it's probably a moot point.)

Oh, about the cake....I went to throw it out....hated to throw out good food, so I ate the whole thing. It's been a long time since I've eaten that much sugar, so I checked my BG to see what that much sugar would do. My numbers shot up to 270 stayed there for about an hour, then it dropped to 119 and slowly decreased after that. I'll never do that again, but it was interesting to see the effect it had. Next time I'll just refuse the cake.

Alice

06-01-2008, 10:15 AM

I simply say "no thank you". And then say no more.

I don't do this because I certain foods are "no no's"...I just don't see why I need to accept food someone is trying to push my way. Diabetes has nothing to do with the food pushers.

Staceyy

06-01-2008, 04:46 PM

You could always take the free food into work and leave it in the kitchen for whoever wants it.

Stacey
The Diabetic Pastry Chef (http://www.diabeticpastrychef.com)

slipperyelm

06-01-2008, 04:46 PM

Oh, about the cake....I went to throw it out....hated to throw out good food, so I ate the whole thing. It's been a long time since I've eaten that much sugar, so I checked my BG to see what that much sugar would do. My numbers shot up to 270 stayed there for about an hour, then it dropped to 119 and slowly decreased after that. I'll never do that again, but it was interesting to see the effect it had. Next time I'll just refuse the cake.

Well, thank goodness for Byetta. At least tell me-- was the cake any good? :D

That seems puzzling that you are so private about diabetes when you say it doesn't matter much, that it is just a fact.

matingara

06-01-2008, 06:51 PM

i have no problem letting people know that i am diabetic and want to pro-actively manage my blood glucose by following a restricted carb diet. no probs at all.

however, the only time it has caused me some grief was this past Mother's Day.

We drove down to my wife's parent's house. a 1.5 hour drive.

because it was Mother's day, my Father-in-Law did the "catering" for lunch. i have explained to him several times about the low carb diet thing and he just does not get it!

anyway, he went to a great deal of trouble and made a HUGE platter of assorted white bread sandwiches. he also provided meat pies (basically beef stew encased in pastry) and sausage rolls (sausages in pastry). also, cake and other sugar-laden treats.

the only thing that i could vaguely approach was a small plate of cocktail franks and the cheese platter.

he offered me the sandwiches and i politely said "no". he gave me the line, "I checked with the bakery and they said that this bread has no added sugar - none at all". Yeah. OK.

i have explained to him at least twice about how carbs work and he is too set in his ways (I guess) to understand.

i made do with the franks and cheese. however, you can only eat so many!

i got in trouble from my family for being "un-gracious". told that i could have always "raided the pantry" to find something suitable!!! (no way i could do that...).

at the end of the day i said that in future i would bring along some portable low-carb snack food. but can you see that working? "Yeah - thanks for the sandwiches - but i'd rather have a couple of these chicken drumsticks that i just happened to prepare earlier and brought with me..."

i can see no way out of this "lose-lose" situation.

:)

-- Joel.

volleyball

06-01-2008, 07:48 PM

i have no problem letting people know that i am diabetic and want to pro-actively manage my blood glucose by following a restricted carb diet. no probs at all.

however, the only time it has caused me some grief was this past Mother's Day.

We drove down to my wife's parent's house. a 1.5 hour drive.

because it was Mother's day, my Father-in-Law did the "catering" for lunch. i have explained to him several times about the low carb diet thing and he just does not get it!

anyway, he went to a great deal of trouble and made a HUGE platter of assorted white bread sandwiches. he also provided meat pies (basically beef stew encased in pastry) and sausage rolls (sausages in pastry). also, cake and other sugar-laden treats.

the only thing that i could vaguely approach was a small plate of cocktail franks and the cheese platter.

he offered me the sandwiches and i politely said "no". he gave me the line, "I checked with the bakery and they said that this bread has no added sugar - none at all". Yeah. OK.

i got in trouble from my family for being "un-gracious". told that i could have always "raided the pantry" to find something suitable!!! (no way i could do that...).

i can see no way out of this "lose-lose" situation.

:)

-- Joel.

What's wrong about being ungracious? Would they expect a recovering alcoholic to tip back a few because they were at someone else's home? If they did, I would consider them ungracious. A good host should take the needs of ALL their guests. And where is your wife, she should be on your side, is she looking forward to taking care of you when you are sick?

Hammer

06-01-2008, 09:38 PM

Well, thank goodness for Byetta. At least tell me-- was the cake any good? :D

That seems puzzling that you are so private about diabetes when you say it doesn't matter much, that it is just a fact.

First, the cake was okay. I made a cup of decaf coffee to go with it. I don't care for sweets...I rarely eat anything sweet. Eating a whole cake is something I've never done, but I figured that if I just ate one piece now and another piece tomorrow, I'd be stretching out the big carb hit to my system, so why not just have one big carb hit and get it over with. A number like 270 is the highest I've been since I started the Lantus and Byetta. I'm glad it didn't last too long, but at least now I know what eating like that will do to my numbers. I'm sure in the future, I'll test other foods to see what they do to my numbers also.:)

When I say I don't care, I mean that I don't care that I have all these ailments. I don't tell people that I have them because it's a sign of weakness for a man to discuss his problems with others. Yes, that's an old fashioned way of thinking, but that's me. I know it's only TV but how many times do you see men sharing their feelings about anything on TV? Never, because that's not the manly thing to do. We are not women....we don't tell each other what's bothering us like women do. Sorry, but that's the way my generation was brought up and I feel very strongly about that. You have to deal with it as best you can on your own, and that's what I do....that's what I've always done.;)

matingara

06-01-2008, 11:29 PM

What's wrong about being ungracious? Would they expect a recovering alcoholic to tip back a few because they were at someone else's home? If they did, I would consider them ungracious. A good host should take the needs of ALL their guests. And where is your wife, she should be on your side, is she looking forward to taking care of you when you are sick?

good points! and hard to explain without a whole long story.

firstly, it didn't cross my mind to "raid the pantry".

when my mother-in-law is the host she goes out of the way to please me and my requirements. but this was Mother's Day and the F-i-L decided he should do all the work and he has no idea about my special needs (even though i have explained it several times).

my wife was there, but there was an awful lot of other stuff going on that day. (this is the long story of which i speak.) to be honest i don't think she took any notice of the food. it was just one of those situations.

i was quite happy to stick to a plate or two of franks and cheese.

my point is that, in the future, i need to be more prepared for the assault of the all-carb menu (i.e. like having something tucked away that is suitable for me).

so far i have been OK - even in restaurant situations. there always seems to be at least one low carb choice.

:)

-- Joel.

volleyball

06-02-2008, 06:06 AM

but I figured that if I just ate one piece now and another piece tomorrow, I'd be stretching out the big carb hit to my system, so why not just have one big carb hit and get it over with.
When I say I don't care, I mean that I don't care that I have all these ailments.

If you don't like a sweet, it makes it easy for me to toss, I'll indulge but it's got to be worth it.
And if you cut the cake into 16 pieces and had 1 a day, the hit would be so small you may not notice and you would have been sick of it or it went bad before it was all gone.
Eating it all seems to be a defeetest attitude that may need work on, maybe not, I don't know you, just the way it came across in your post

If your mom eats right herself, then telling her that she will be loving the family more if she feeds the family in a healthy way. You do NEED to come clean with your diabetes to her, if you cannot, message me her name and phone number and I'll call her.

good points! and hard to explain without a whole long story.

-- Joel.

I'm sure you do fine most of the time, just needed some reassurance for a difficult situation.

slipperyelm

06-02-2008, 10:10 AM

Are we talking about a whole cake here? I thought it was just one slice.

Hammer, men discuss problems all the time. There would be no progress in humanity whatsoever if people, including men, did not discuss problems. What's the big deal?

And as for the observation about tv, well, yes I do see men on tv talking about problems--in situation comedies, in cartoons, in dramas, in news magazine programs, in talk shows, on the evening news, in court programs..... all the time.

Of course, you can keep to yourself the information that you are diabetic, but it does not give you any kind of advantage. You seem to have this reluctance and fear of being perceived as not in control as a major personality feature. My goodness, you even expressed it in quite Freudian terms in describing how you learned to stuff you own emotions and hold everything into your bowels!

????????

Hammer

06-02-2008, 01:08 PM

I guess I was raised differently then. There are many things that a man should never discuss, lest he be though of to be weak or soft. Yes, men will tell other men some things, but it's never at a deep level, it's just superficial. If a man has low self esteem, and is shy around women, he won't tell his friends that he's shy or lacks confidence around women, and that maybe his shyness comes from when he was a child his mother never hugged him and kissed him when he needed a hug, so he felt alienated by women, and it now manifests itself in his inability to approach women. Try saying THAT around the guys and see what their reaction is.

No, what he will relate to the guys is that he's nervous around women, so he avoids them.....end of conversation! NO man will ever relate his innermost feelings to ANYONE. Sorry, but I don't believe any man here would ever do that. It would serve no purpose, and you'd come across as weak or unmanly or whatever you want to call it.(at least if you're from my generation.)

Also, keeping your problems to yourself may be considered "bottling it up" to some people, but if you work out the problems on your own, it makes you more self reliant....you feel good about yourself. The satisfaction you get from doing it yourself releases any so called bottled up emotions. You've been through it before, you didn't need any help, and you survived. That's not to say that you may need a hand to move something or you may need someone to give you a ride if your car breaks down, that's okay.The thing is, you try every way possible to do it yourself, and if you can't, then you get whatever help you need. As long as you can do it yourself, then you do it.

Again, I don't see why it's so important that I tell my mother or my family. What good could that possibly do? They can't do anything for me that I'm not already doing for myself. Caring? Comforting? I don't need those things....I never have. Telling them only has a downside....they would worry, for one. Another aspect is that if the Lantus and Byetta become a hassle for me, I'll just stop taking it like I did with the metformin and amaryl. If I stop taking everything, I don't want anyone pestering me to take something, like my family would. If that happened, I'd stop visiting them. If I decide to stop treating my diabetes or any other ailments I might get, that's my decision to make and I don't want family members worrying over me.

I don't lie to my family or friends, I just don't tell them everything about my life. I remember seeing an episode of "Friends" that really put this into perspective. For those of you who watched Friends, you'll remember this: Ross and Rachel had finally spent their first night together. When Rachel got home, Monica and Phoebe asked her where she'd been all night. She said that she spent the night with Ross. The other two girls immediately dropped what they were doing, pulled up chairs and told her to sit down and tell them everything. They wanted to know all the juicy details. That's what women do.

Ross came home and Joey and Chandler were watching a ball game on TV. They asked Ross where he'd been all night, and he said that he spent the night with Rachel. The two guys didn't take their eyes off of the ball game, and one of them said, "Get any?" Ross was staring at the TV and said. "Yeah." Joey, still looking at the TV said, "Kool." and that was the end of the conversation. That's what men do. Men don't need to get any deeper than that when it comes to personal issues.

Oh, yes, it was a whole cake, but keep in mind these are not full sized cakes. They are maybe 8 inches in diameter with a hole in the middle. No, I could never eat a whole full sized cake....well, maybe I could, but I'd never want to. If I had to guess, I'd say that the cake was only the second sweet food that I've eaten this year. I think I had a few chocolate chip cookies about a month ago. I avoid sweets because I prefer to eat good food....meat, vegetables, etc. I rarely eat bread either. I can get sweets and bread anywhere, but good food I can't, so I avoid sweets in favor of good food. The cake was a rare situation that was thrown at me, and being a person who hates to waste food, I just ate it. Next time, I'll use one of the suggestions that you all posted here to avoid having to throw it out. If I hadn't been waiting so long for my food and if there weren't cars behind me waiting, I'd probably have gone into the store and returned it. It just happened so fast that I didn't think.

Hammer

06-02-2008, 01:21 PM

Here's (http://www.kfc.com/menu/desserts_cake.asp) a picture of the cake....in case anyone was wondering. Hey, that's pretty neat...you can get the nutritional information from that site. It doesn't say how many servings the cake has though. I think it was 6 servings, so I guess multiply those numbers by 6.

volleyball

06-02-2008, 01:43 PM

You said you wanted it straight. And to avoid the censors.
YOU ARE FULL OF P00PIE!!!!
Either you are pulling our legs for your jollies or you are in need of a kick in the pants, you decide.
You get your life lessons from the TV show "Friends":? What's real life about that?
Men do share their feelings, just not to the extent of women, and to their closest friend or farthest stranger. Most don't express themselves like the men in video who do mainly because we don't have women writers writing our lines. Men express as much as women just not in so many words.
Nobody lives with you, they are all far away but you don't want to tell them as they will complain that you are not taking your medicine, well, how are going to know? And if you are too lax to take care of yourself, you deserve to be yelled at.
You tell your family because you love them, if you do not, you do not love them, plain and simple. They find out when you kick the bucket prematurely that you did not confide in them and they will hate you for that. Why leave them that memory.

You may be depressed and feeling sorry for yourself. Take your medicine, throw away the bad food and exercise. You have all day to work out. Exercise is free. Walk, run, bike or help the elderly person down the street with something they cannot do.

You say you are this macho man who hides his feelings. Well, the macho man first rule is to take care of everyone and you are taking care of no one, not even yourself.

Janlaton

06-02-2008, 02:17 PM

If you don't want to eat it or throw it out, try taking the cake to work or to someone who will eat it. I am forever showing up at work with stuff I can not eat that someone gives me. My young skinny coworkers love it!

My family all are very supportive of me and stay on my case about what I eat so they do not prepare desserts for me unless it is sugar free or fruit. They just do not understand they still have carbs. I think just about everyone knows I am diabetic and I have blacked out just about everywhere so most people are always saying 'do not eat that." I love the attention and that people care enought about me to watch out for what I eat.

Mama2Two

06-03-2008, 08:06 AM

Hammer... I'm fairly new to this site, and haven't posted much, but I can definitely sympathize. I'm half Sicilian...and everyone on that side of the family LOVES food...myself included. My Grandma Antonina used to cook like your mom cooks, multiple entrées, 7 courses, multiple desserts...and she'd get insulted if you didn't try a little of everything. Then, after my third dessert, she'd whisper, "Lisa, you really should try to lose some weight. You have such a pretty face!" Ugh...I hated that part of the meal!

Anyway, my main reason for writing today is with regard to IBS. I had it for YEARS. At first I thought it was due to me taking 2400 mg of Guaifenisen (a mucus thinner) per day for my sinuses. But it continued even after I stopped that, and actually seemed to be mostly after I ate. Since I ate constantly...I had IBS constantly (10-12 times per day)...but I noticed the correlation in October when I had to fast before gallbladder surgery. One night shortly after that, during a bout of insomnia, I saw a medical show about something called Habba Syndrome. Apparently with Habba Syndrome, every time one eats, the liver pumps out way too much bile into the intestines, and this causes diarrhea, usually within about 20 minutes of eating. I went to the website, habbasyndrome.com - About Dr Habba (http://www.habbasyndrome.com) , and did some reading. I then mentioned it to my doctor, and he agreed to prescribe Cholestyeramine. It's a cholesterol medication which apparently binds with the bile, stopping the diarrhea and lowering the cholesterol. He said since my cholesterol had creeped up in the last year, that it couldn't hurt to try it.

Well...let me tell you...I'm like a different person! Within 48 hours of starting this medication, the IBS was GONE for the first time in 20+ years.

You mentioned that your IBS has resolved with lower BG levels...could it be because you're eating less?

If any of this sounds like what you've gone through, you may want to mention it to your doctor.

slipperyelm

06-03-2008, 08:14 AM

Cool. We discuss a problem and learn something potentially helpful. Habba Syndrome. Thanks, Mama2Two. I know it has to be tremendous relief to have found that remedy!

Mama2Two

06-03-2008, 08:21 AM

Cool. We discuss a problem and learn something potentially helpful. Habba Syndrome. Thanks, Mama2Two. I know it has to be tremendous relief to have found that remedy!

Oh, you have no idea! I was actually planning my day around where I could find a bathroom. It's hard having 2 little kids, and having to run to a ladies room 10-12 times per day. Plus, it's not a good thing to have to do that during a busy work day. That program and website saved my sanity. :)

volleyball

06-03-2008, 08:33 AM

Welcome Lisa, I don't think I greeted you here before. You've made yourself very valuable here with that bit of information. That is why I encourage all member to post messages.

Scrabblechick

06-03-2008, 08:45 AM

Hammer, I can undertstand where you're coming from, feelings-wise. The men in my family have never been like that, but in my husband's family, that's definitely the case. My DH caught all kinds of $#%#$ from his dad because he wrote poetry and didn't play sports. Would I rather be married to his "manly" dad? Not for Donald Trump's bank account!

Now, as to your family situation. I really can understand your desire not to worry your mom. I suspect she's the kind who would call you every single day to see what your BG is and would obsess if it were higher than she thought it ought to be. There are enough diabetics in my family that everyone totally understands if you don't eat something. It's OK, and generally, someone thinks to bring things that everyone can enjoy.

However, your situation is obviously very different. And in the final analysis, it's your family and your decision about how to deal with it. No one else understands your unique situation like you do.

If saying that eating something could cause your IBS to flare up and they'll leave you alone about it, go with that and don't worry about it. If someone gives you something to take home, give it to a neighbor. Same goes for when you get something extra, as in the KFC cake. Give it to a neighbor.

Honestly, since I've been DX, I've had to kind of "get over" the wasting food thing. If I get a taco salad, I throw away the tortilla bowl. It doesn't bother me anymore. It's not exactly "wasted," anyway. The taco shell couldn't be served to anyone else, so it doesn't really matter whether I eat it or not. Same if I decide I want a Taco Bell burrito. I bring it home, scrape out the insides into a low-carb burrito and enjoy it. I don't feel guilty about throwing away the original tortilla.

I don't make more than I can eat and I don't deliberately waste food, but I have had to get past that inborn distaste of throwing food away so I can do what I need to do to keep the D under control.

Mama2Two

06-03-2008, 08:50 AM

Welcome Lisa, I don't think I greeted you here before. You've made yourself very valuable here with that bit of information. That is why I encourage all member to post messages.

Well...thank you so much! :) :D

Sunfire

06-03-2008, 09:09 AM

I understand the need for not telling your mother. It probably would worry her, especially since so many around her have died of the disease. My husband was diagnosed almost 3 years ago and we've told very few people. I really don't know why that is either. I think he just feels it's his (our) business and his disease to control.

We have told a few family members and by doing so may have saved a life. We were on a family outing a little over a year ago. My husband's cousin just got up and was having coffee with us when my husband checked his blood sugar. I asked his cousin if I could check his just for the heck of it. Let me tell you, I almost fell off the chair. I had to compose myself so I didn't scare him because his BG was 424!!! I insisted that he see his doctor the following week, he did, and was diagnosed. His A1C was 12.7 and his cholesterol numbers were through the roof. The doctor almost put him in the hospital but our cousin resisted. Thankfully he has things under control now with a few oral meds. So who knows what might have happened if I wasn't playing with the BG meter that day.

Hammer

06-03-2008, 11:43 AM

Hi there Mama2Two! Thanks for that useful info about IBS. I don't believe that's my problem, but I know a lot of people will find that info very useful.

When my doctor first told me he believed my stomach problems were from IBS, I didn't believe him. I still don't believe him because I have seen how IBS works in other people, and my stomach problems weren't like that. If you eat certain foods that irritate your IBS, it will send you to the bathroom in a hurry. I could eat a certain food and it would bother my stomach today. I could eat the same food tomorrow and it wouldn't. I could keep eating that same food for another week and it wouldn't bother my stomach. After a few weeks of eating this food, one day I would eat it an I'd get diarrhea.

I began to think it might have been something else and not the food that caused the problem. This seemed to happen with all kinds of food....even water seemed to bother my stomach. I drink bottled water just to make sure.(I cook with bottled water too.) No matter what I tried, I'd be fine for a day or two, then I'd get diarrhea. I slowly began to suspect the diabetes. I have no idea what a high BG level would do to your stomach, but I figured it couldn't help.

Since I wasn't taking any meds for my diabetes, I had no way of judging if the high BG levels were the problem. I didn't have a BG meter to test anything. (my doctor gave me one, but I gave it back since I didn't have any test strips.) When I was off of work for a long time, I had the opportunity to try to see if my body would adjust to metformin and amaryl, since the diarrhea that you get from those two meds is supposed to go away after a few weeks. When the diarrhea got really bad on those meds, I stopped taking everything after 30 days.

Not long after I stopped taking the meds, I went to my doctor to discuss the pros and cons of Lantus. While I was there, I asked him if a high BG level could be the cause of my diarrhea. When he said yes, I decided to go on the Lantus. My diarrhea immediately disappeared. I thought that it might be because I was trying to eat differently, but I really didn't change my diet all that much since I eat fairly healthy anyway.

The doctor also put me on Prandin, since Lantus alone won't control your after meal spikes. I found that the Prandin upset my stomach, so I stopped taking that and the doctor switched me to Byetta. Now that I'm off the oral meds, the diarrhea is gone. Of course my numbers are pretty good also, so I'm assuming (maybe wrongly) that the high BG levels were the problem. My numbers without meds were anywhere from 375 to over 500. Now that they're anywhere from a fasting level of around 95 to a spike of under 140, my stomach is back to normal.:) (I didn't include the super high spike after eating that cake, since that was a one time only case.)

Hammer

06-03-2008, 12:13 PM

Hey there ScrabbleChick and Sunfire! Thanks for the understanding. I seem to have started a thread about free food and it migrated into a discussion about something else....which is okay. I like to hear what others have to say about a lot of different topics.

I think one of the big reasons that I hate to throw away food....other than it's wasteful when there are so many people going to bed hungry every night, is that I live alone. I don't cook much, so any food that I get means a lot to me, since I don't usually get something to eat unless I make it.

As a guy, cooking isn't something that most guys do well, it's something we need to do to survive. When food is handed to us, ready to eat, then that's one less meal we have to make for ourselves. To a woman who cooks for her family, that's no big deal, but to a guy who doesn't cook, any food he gets from someone is really appreciated. I think a lot of people realize this because they know how much a single man likes to be invited over for dinner. Plus when the guy leaves to go home, they always load him up with leftovers, figuring it'll save him from having to cook something for himself.

A cake isn't exactly the same thing, but it's still food that you don't have to prepare. While it's not the kind of food I'd buy for myself, it was free food that you could just eat as is....no cooking or whatever. To be honest, I didn't know what exactly it was that the KFC manager gave me that night. It was a cake that she sat on top of the cardboard bucket of chicken, and being in a plastic bag, I couldn't see what it was. She just said, "I included a free cake since you had to wait so long." and she walked back into the store. I had no idea that it was an entire cake, I thought it must be some sort of cake that they sell for dessert, like a slice of cake in a plastic container. When I got home, I saw that it was a whole cake. I didn't know that KFC sold entire cakes. I don't go to KFC that often to know what they sell other than chicken.

So, even though it was a really bad food to eat for a diabetic, I figured one time wouldn't hurt anything. Yes, I knew my numbers would really spike, and they did, a few hours later they were back to normal, so no harm-no foul. Now that I know what cake will do to my numbers, I won't do that again, although I'm sure something else will come up and I'll want to test that to see what it will do to my numbers.(like I did with the double cheeseburgers and fries that one time.):)

I think my next test won't be so bad. I've been wanting to see what happens to my numbers if I eat some steamed shrimp. It's been a long time since I've had those, and I usually go to the food store and get 2 pounds of jumbo steamed shrimp.(they steam them while you wait.) Shrimp has zero carbs, so it shouldn't do that much to my numbers. Two pounds of raw shrimp is only one and one-third pounds after steaming. I'd get that more often if it didn't cost so much.(usually around $25 for two pounds of jumbo raw shrimp, unless it's on sale.)

blacklightmike

06-04-2008, 10:12 AM

In my immediate family, I'm the only diabetic, and I steadfastly refuse concentrated sugars, period. My mother is a hypochondriac, however, and that has set the stage for a lifetime of being very self conscious for myself and my sister. As a result, it's very hard to state your dietary needs at family functions because mom has already beaten you to it... she 'becomes' allergic to just about anything that is served, which is a passive/aggressive move she's developed over the years.

In that environment, if you step out and refuse anything verbally, you run the risk of getting branded as being like her, so you make your choices quietly and carefully to not stir the pot. On the other hand, it comes back to bite you when you indulge in a sliver of birthday cake and pick at the crumbs... you are either regaled with a story of a 'friend' of mom's whose 'diabetes is out of control', or you are asked a pointed 'do you really need that?' by my sister... as if this were your regular diet, and you weren't taking a piece just to patronize the child whose birthday it is.

The clincher is that mom has recently been told she is pre-diabetic, but continues to eat outright garbage and junk despite our interests in setting her straight... her skin is very thin when the sights are turned in her direction, and she uses the argument of being so old as to not have to worry about it.

But, I digress...

When we have too much of anything, I have co-workers who will happily chow down on anything I bring in.

One other thing I've noticed at larger family functions including my in-laws, where I am not the only diabetic, is the inclusion of desserts claiming no added sugar, which when inspected, have too much already to be considered a healthy choice. In choosing a sliver of these (or nothing altogether), I still find myself chastised for hurting the feelings of those whose thoughtfulness has provided it. Worse, my Bro In Law is a diabetic who eats as much of anything as he wants, sugared or otherwise, and they point to him as an example of why it's okay to eat it... despite the fact that he is in full-blown denial and can barely walk from his neuropathy.

We walk a fine line being diabetic, and in the end, I'd rather be a happy, healthier snob than indulge the feelings of hosts and 'concerned' family alike.