Spouse of a diabetic

[Brandi]

Hi everyone -

I wanted to introduce myself. My husband is a diabetic. We're 24; he was diagnosed at 21. The whole process of getting sick and going to the doctor took a few months for him. (His mother insisted there was nothing wrong despite his excessive thirst and trips to the bathroom. He finally went to the doctor because of the headaches.)

We've tried to deal with the disease together as we were dating when he found out. He's been to a number of doctors and nutritionists, but they all tell him different things. We're drowning in the information, and he just wants to give up on working on it. It's very frustrating to me because I love him, and I want him to take care of himself.

I understand the concern, though, so I'm hoping there's someone who's experienced similar problems. He takes Lantus and uses Humolog pens. I know Lantus has become a bit questionable because of its unreliability. He bottoms out fairly regularly on it. The problem is we haven't found a way to predict when that will happen.

When he was first diagnosed, we followed the diet instructions and booklets very closely, but we found that we were eating more on the diet than without it. We were very diligent, but we don't overeat generally and were STUFFED on the diet. He also tends to gain weight as his BS is under control. Is that normal? Everybody says lose weight, lose weight, but when his sugar's running high, he's normal weight. When he gets it under control for even a couple of weeks, his weight increases. He's about 10 pounds overweight, and it really bothers him.

I apologize for rambling. We've just struggled with this issue since diagnosis, and I don't know what to do. We eat fairly well. We don't have sweets at all. We bake & broil meat and veggies. We could do with a little less pasta, but we've cut back dramatically. HELP!

[jared]

.First off welcome to the forum. There are very knowlgeable people on this forum and they are always willing to help. I know exactly how your husband is feeling. I myself feel like giving up but I know if I do I will regret that decision later in life. Im trying to keep my head up and so should he. I have always been told that if you maintain good numbers that you will tend to gain a little wait. I really can’t help too much being that im 6 foot and weigh 150. Im a little under weight myself. I also can relate to being over whelmed by all the info on diabetes. There is allotting of info out there and im learning new stuff daily. Looks like you are very caring in looking out for his diet needs like veggies and baking meat and broil. Most will agree that if you get your Basel rate calculated correctly then he should not have the unexpected lows. I went through months and months of lows until I started taking less and less until I was able to maintain levels.... im sure later in the day others will be able to put light on some of your husbands issues.... GOOD LUCK and keep your heads up high

[gettingby]

Hi Brandi and Welcome:D . It's so wonderful that you are being so supportive of your husband. Diabetes is a day to day struggle but I'm sure you will find the help and support you need here. Don't be afraid to ask questions or ask for help. That's why we are all here.
Cin:D

[archimeech]

My wife has wanted to join a support group for Spouses of Diabetics for a long time. When she inquires anywhere around here for something like that, everyone just looks at her as if she's crazy. We can't forget the people that are willing to continue to love us, despite the health problems, mood swings, and inevitable complications we will face. It takes a lot of love and loyalty to put up with all that. Even our incredible diabetic good looks and award winning personalities can't make up for all of it, at times!
All kidding aside, I think it's great that you are willing to help him deal with his problems. He needs to own up to them now. It took me a long time to accept that I was just stuck with diabetes and to get over my self-absorbed, childish, self-destructive ways. Somethings in life really suck, but the rest of it is pretty cool. I find that taking little steps daily towards a goal of full acceptance of diabetes and acceptance of myself is key. Otherwise, you'll be a bitter, sick person. Or dead! What's the sense in that?

[HeatherP]

Welcome Brandi. I'm so glad that you are an active participant in your husband's health management. I'm sure it's very helpful for him.

Diabetes is unfortunately a disease that is ever changing and very heavy on the reading material and information. It is true that many of us find that the better we control our blood sugars, the more weight we gain. I am struggling with this issue myself. My suggestion would be to get his sugars stable and under control first, then work at losing weight. It can be difficult but it's possible to do.

Have you and your hubby ever worked w/ a Certified Diabetes Educator (CDE)? Even if it's been a while, I'd suggest a refresher course. Mine is invaluable. You'll find many friendly and well-informed people here, so I hope you and your husband will visit w/ us often and even make some new friends along the way!

Nice to meet you,
HeatherP

[koblenz]

Hi Brandi and welcome. On behalf of your husband, let me say thank you for looking after him. I don't know what I would do if my wife didn't take care of me! We are in a similar situation; recently married, shortly after I was diagnosed T1. I sometimes feel bad because she didn't sign up for this, but she is a trooper.

I will have to echo the comments of the others on working with a CDE, Dietitian, and your Endo. The dietitian should be able to evaluate your food intake/activity levels and recommend any adjustments to your diet to help maintain weight. Your CDE or Endo should be able to look at that info and help adjust insulin levels to match. Once you get your diet and Lantus levels worked out, his weight should stabilize and the lows should all but disappear. I went through the same process and it took me about 3-months to get it tuned up just right. It seems like a long time and it was some hard work, but I am MUCH happier now.

Anyway, keep taking care of him and this group of folks is always good for some helpful advice or just a place to vent!

[archimeech]

Koblenz, I just read your quote! Oi, oi! Get me 2 of those pumps, 1 for guiness and 1 for bass. Black & Tans my friend! If I weren't diabetic, I'd drink nothing else!

Brandi, what is your hubbie's A1C? If you don't want to eat as much as the Dieticians tell you to, then don't. just be careful of the types of carbs you intake.

[kctowers]

Hello Brandi,

I am also new here and still need to get a lot into my head. But about diet: the wonderful thing is that as your stomache shrinks, what you thought was once a skimpy meal, suddenly becomes a feast. I don't think it's about dieting so much as cutting down, especially on the carbs as everyone here says. What you need to do is find a different eating lifestyle; one that suits you and the disease. I find that that needs a bit of work, but it is not impossible.


All the best

Keith