Bulimic and out of control

[CarrieScott]

I have read and heard a lot about Diabulimia (see this thread (http://www.diabetesforums.com/forum/diabetes/19558-diabulimics-diabulima-diabulimia-combined.html))

I have compulsive behavioral problems and binge more and more frequently. Obviously, the compulsiveness is not directly related to the Diabetes, but the guilt over what I have consumed and the worry about it's effects on my BS, I often purge rather than bolus.

This is very hard for me to admit. But here I am, baring my darkest secret and asking if there are any more of me out there? I am seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and am being treated for my psychiatric and behavioral issues, but it's so much more complicated as a diabetic.

Any similar stories you are willing to share, or do you have any insight into my dilemma?

:questionm

[CarrieScott]

I forgot to add that I am not a "diabulimic", and I don't skip insulin injections, no judgement passed; my behavior is no better.

[CaptainMike]

Sorry to hear you are having such a trying and difficult time. I'm glad that you are dealing with it and are seeking treatment. I'm sure that you will be able to deal with these issues and remember we are all here to help one another. I'm an extreme low-carber and as a professional captain and ex-military guy I like to think I'm extremely disciplined. I do occasionally lose my strict dietary control and become completely disgusted with myself, sometimes leading to bouts of depression. Not to the extent that you probably do but enough that I think I have a glimpse into your issues. Be strong, keep working on things, don't be afraid to ask for help. Post More!!

[CarrieScott]

THANK YOU CaptainMike.

It's nice to know that there are others that are extremely hard on themselves when it comes to carb control.

:wavey:

[mzteacher]

hi carrie,
sounds like you have a lot of tough things to work through right now...good for you to have the courage to be getting help and sharing here....i will be sending good thoughts your way....i hope if some one doesn't want to go public that they pm you....i dont have the same problems as you, but am an expert at beating myself up over all this diabetes stuff!...good luck miss carrie!!
susan

[notme]

Welcome to Diabetes Forums Carrie. I know it isn't much consolation to you, but admission is definitely a good first step. I have had the issue of diabulimia in the past, but not anymore. I have gone the other direction which sometimes stresses me.

I think seeking counseling is a terrific idea as I am not sure any of us are equipped to give you good advice on how to fix bulimia. As a female, I do understand how this can become an issue.

We really are conditioned all our lives to seek approval for how we look from others which I think makes us all very uncomfortable in our own skin.

Please know we are here for you and will help any way we can. Welcome!

[Psycho Penguin]

Hi Carrie, while I am not familiar with your predictament per se, I think we can all relate to doing stuff and feeling guilty about it aftewards. Talking about it and admitting there is something wrong is the first step and I hope you find someone here that is more qualified to talk about it than me. Good luck :)

[maya0606]

Hi carriscot,

I just started controlling my sugar! and befoe what i use to do is eat whatever i want and not put insulin so i could lose weight (until now i still hate my weight and I am 128lbs 5'3) it was horrible I use to go to sleep not put anything for 2 days to a point where i would start barfing because of the high sugar and i would go to the washroom to pee maybe every 15 min it was HORRIBLE I looked tired I am always hungry and always thirsty !

just wanted to share this with you I guess everyone had there moments of disappointment! but we should all be able to go through with it :) as life is beautiful and not living it healthy you might be missing out on something out there for you :-)

[CarrieScott]

Thank you SOOO much maya and everyone else for their comments.

I'm glad to have found these forums and the support they provide.

[isiscrystal]

I've always wondered what would happen if I threw up food I just ate without taking any insulin for it. Does any of the food absorb at all? I always figured your stomach would start digesting it some before you could puke it up. I've always been curious, but not brave enough to try it. Lol.

[maya0606]

thats funny i always thought of that, but i really believe that it actually does not get in ur system for example ppl that are sick a puke they lose so much weigh because the food they eat they puke it i guess u cant put insulin

[morrisma]

Some things you ingest are absorbed very quickly. Some alcohol is absorbed in the throat and esophagus even before it hits the stomach. (There is a crazy reason that I know this but it's true.) If you eat a rapidly absorbed sugar product, some may be absorbed within minutes of entering your stomach.
Mike

[CarrieScott]

Some things you ingest are absorbed very quickly. Some alcohol is absorbed in the throat and esophagus even before it hits the stomach. (There is a crazy reason that I know this but it's true.) If you eat a rapidly absorbed sugar product, some may be absorbed within minutes of entering your stomach.
Mike
:puke:
purging the food doesn't totally prevent a BS spike. like you said, it depends on what I have eaten. when doing this, i always throw up right away.

the good news is that i haven't done it in four days!
:five:

[mortis505]

Carrie. Four days is a good start. Keep fighting, and keep posting. Let us know how you are doing. :wavey: