help needed..

[Batty]

so theres this girl i had been in classes with since the 2nd grade, who was diganosed with type 1 the summer before we went into grade 7...so 5years ago...being the only person left in the school with diabetes(the older girl had gradded and moved onto jr high at this point), i was left to help her deal with it. so i went to the hospital with my mom and visited her, and of course was put in the same grade 7 class, so i could be there if something went wrong. i don't really like this girl..i find her quite annoying and i hate how she uses her diabetes so people will feel bad for her and do things for her...but i'm not willing to allow someone to mistreat the disease, while i know of it.

one our mutural friends asked me at lunch yesterday about insulin. whether it always had to be in the fridge. i told her that i keep mine in the fridge when at home, but when i'm not, it didnt really matter if it wasnt in the fridge. when i asked why she wanted to know, i don't think there was one person there who wasn't motified(all my friends who were there, know a lot about diabetes and a few even spoke up before i did, about how stupid that was of her and how unhealthly it is)

see, the girl works at this local pizza place and attends school fulltime. so she's rarely home(which i think is NO excuse for what she's doing), so she's completely stopped taking her insulin. apparently her moms already gotten mad at her and such, but she's still not taking her insulin..her excuse that she cant go home to do her insulin when she's working..and that her insulin has to stay in the fridge(this is the same girl, who brought her WHOLE kit to school from grade7 to grade11 -- even had it stolen once with the insulin, needles, and tester inside! -- and did her insulin at lunch for 3years).

now, i could go tell my mom right now..who'd probably call her mom and they'd have a talk and my mom would probably end up having to talk to the girl and maybe even take her to see the Diabetic Team up at the hospital....or I could confront her and nag her, like I have done in the past(usually when we are debating things that have to do with diabetes -- i obviously am stubborn and believe i know more than her, since i grew up with type 1)...or i can let our mutural friend try again and again to get her to take her insulin...or i leave it, and let her figure out that she has to be taking it.

i really dont know how she's managed to not take her insulin at all this week..and barely last week...

[archimeech]

Batty, just let her know in the plainest sense of it all, that she is being stupid and only hurting herself. A lot of diabetics teens(myself included when I was your age) rebel against what they know they are suposed to do. They want to feel normal. Unfortunately, we are not normal. We can live as much of a normal life as we are allowed by our disease, but you have to be realistic. Once when I was 16 I was on vacation in New York with friends and didn't take my insulin much. My sugar wound up being 1177, that's right it's not a typo, I said eleven hundred seventy seven! I almost died.

I have worked since I was 13, never had a problem with taking my inulin with me, at all times. I keep my insulin on the kitchen counter, not just the bottle I'm using, but all of it. I very rarely put it in the fridge. It's actually much more stable now than in the past, as long as it doens't get too cold or too hot.

Tell her from me, somone who has had diabetes longer than the 2 of you have been alive, that she's being a foolish little girl and to grow up! She needs to do some soul searching to find out why she doesn't love herself anymore than that. In the end, some people who love her will be sad when she dies, but the world and life in general goes on without us. It's what we do and who we are that makes a difference to ourselves.

[HeatherP]

I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation. Sounds like no matter what you do, you're going to lose.

It sounds to me like she's got a major case of denial. It may just be best to let her see what happens when she doesn't take proper care of herself. I don't know if she's still monitoring, that would be best so that she doesn't end up in a coma. If she continues not taking her meds, her sugars are going to go up, she'll drop weight, be constantly thirsty and therefore in the bathroom all the time. She will be miserable, and hopefully that will be enough to show her she needs to take care of herself.

Sometimes you have to let people learn the hard way. It's not something you want to see someone else do, but things aren't always easy. Some counseling might be helpful. Maybe some sort of teen group type of thing, so she can see others having the same issues and dealing with them instead of ignoring their health.

HeatherP

[Batty]

Originally posted by archimeech
Batty, just let her know in the plainest sense of it all, that she is being stupid and only hurting herself. A lot of diabetics teens(myself included when I was your age) rebel against what they know they are suposed to do. They want to feel normal.

thats the problem..she flaunts it..half the people i am school friends with..didnt know until i had a low blood sugar, that i even had diabetes..everyone in the school knows she does..she publicly announces it all the time and expects pity. she may want to be normal, yes, but at the sametime, she uses it to get attention!

Originally posted by archimeech
Tell her from me, somone who has had diabetes longer than the 2 of you have been alive, that she's being a foolish little girl and to grow up! She needs to do some soul searching to find out why she doesn't love herself anymore than that. In the end, some people who love her will be sad when she dies, but the world and life in general goes on without us. It's what we do and who we are that makes a difference to ourselves.

i really want to slap her til she realizes how stupid she is, in all truth. i don't think she'll listen to me though, thats the problem. we fight too much as it is about diabetes itself, she'll just go on believing that she knows all the newage knowledge, and what i was taught is obsolute now, and she knows how to take care of herself.

[archimeech]

My dear, sometimes people need to learn first hand. I would make sure you have expressed to her and your parents your concern, and let your parents know that you wash your hands of it. If she is unwilling to help herself, there is absolutely nothing you can do to help her. It's unfortunate, but let her figure it out on her own.

Life is too short to bother with people you don't like. enjoy your youth and take the burden of her well being off your shoulders.

[Dewey]

Batty,

I'm sorry that girl is being this way. :( It's wrong that she's mistreating her disease, and she'll ultimately suffer severe complications (possibly death) as a result, if she doesn't start taking care of herself! Diabetes, as you know, is no small thing and should Never be toyed with. For the life of me, I cannot fathom why someone wouldn't want to take care of something that can be so easily controlled.

It's hard to say which method would work best. Intervention of some sort, perhaps with parents and friends may work, but it is ultimately up to this girl to do the right thing.

Originally posted by Batty
thats the problem..she flaunts it..half the people i am school friends with..didnt know until i had a low blood sugar, that i even had diabetes..everyone in the school knows she does..she publicly announces it all the time and expects pity. she may want to be normal, yes, but at the sametime, she uses it to get attention! It frustrates me to hear that she uses her Diabetes to gain sympathy and attention. I've been living with Type I for over 22 years, and I've Never used it as an excuse for anything. I don't mean to sound cruel or harsh, but I have far less sympathy for those that use the "poor, pitiful me" act.

The worst part of all this, is that she's hurting you in the process. :( I'm deeply sorry and hope that everything works out. Please know you're in my thoughts and if ya need an ear, please e-mail me: toloache51@msn.com or PM me here, and I'll be glad to help.

[archimeech]

Dewey,
It's not easy for everyone to control, but what she is doing is worse. I battle my control every single minute of every day. Others just take a little insulin, check their sugars and are ok. Either way, it is sad to see someone do this to themselves.

[Dewey]

Originally posted by archimeech
Dewey,
It's not easy for everyone to control, but what she is doing is worse. I battle my control every single minute of every day. Others just take a little insulin, check their sugars and are ok. Either way, it is sad to see someone do this to themselves. Agreed, Arch. I battle control as well at times. My intention wasn't to make it sound easier than it is, rather it was to say that the long-term end results are in fact far worse than the prevention measures and attempting to control it properly. It is sad to see people hurt themselves that way, but it's also frustrating, especially when it's preventable.

[Batty]

both her mom and her flaunt..her mother saying things like "oh heres a picture of Jenny before the diabetes" makes me sick..they both seem to like the attention.

i saw her today in the hall, and i almost blurted it all out in the hall. i wish i could just take control and tell her to stop being a ******* and take care of herself. at the same time, i've got this devil pulling at my shirt telling me not to even talk to anyone about it. her and i have never really gotten along, although we were friends for a while..i still have this hate for her when she told me "i thought only fat people could get diabetes"..when i had gone against my own free will, to visit her in the hospital and hang out with her..so i've got this devil telling me to let her do what she wants and i shouldn't care..that comment deeply insulted me, and i'm sure it would anyone else.

everyone seems to think she should be doing her insulin, but no ones pushing it. i told a friend of mine to talk to her about it, cuz i didnt want to get involved, but if i had to, then i would..so hopefully she sits her down and talks to her SOON...so it's kind of off my shoulders..but not completely...

[HeatherP]

Batty, you can't make somebody do something they don't want to do. It is NOT your responsibility to take care of this girl. She knows what she's doing to herself. It is her choice, not yours. As I said before, she may need to learn the hard way. It's not your fault or your problem. Just because you both have Diabetes does not mean you're joined at the hip and exactly the same. And it also doesn't mean you are responsible for her taking care of herself.

What does anybody expect you to do - twist her arm behind her back and MAKE her do it? That's ridiculous.

Like Meech said, you're too young and life is too short. It's not your problem, so let it go and enjoy your own life.

HeatherP

[Batty]

yeah..thats true..its just i'm expected to help her with these things, cuz i'm the "expersinced one". =/

[HeatherP]

Like my husband says to me all the time:

You can't save the world.

She is choosing to let her health go. It has nothing to do with you or the way you manage your Diabetes.

[TAutry]

Batty,

Heather is absolutely correct. Each of us is responsible for him or herself. It is up to this acquaintence to manage her diabetes or not. She has to make her own choice and live or die with whatever the consequences are.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Don't let anyone pressure you into trying to take responsibility for her. Anyone who does that to you doesn't have your best interest in mind and should be ignored.

Travis

[Batty]

i'll try and keep that all in mind.

thanks guys :)