I don't know what to do..

[nicole]

Okay I missed my period in November, I was due to start between the 6th-10th.

I was at Walgreens today and something kept telling me to get a pregnancy test. So I did. I got home put it away and went about my other things. In the middle of cleaning up something told me to go take the test and I put it off for a little while, well whatever was telling me to go take it was really pushing me to do it, so I did.

I waited the three minutes it said and then the answer popped up and said "yes" with the plus sign next to it. I called my boyfriend into the bathroom and showed him, he just got a huge smile on his face.


But my question is should I take another home test or just take that as yes I am pregnant and go to the doctor??

Any advice would be helpful.. thanks.

[Psycho Penguin]

Congrats on being a mommy!

[nicole]

I don't know if I am or not yet.

The home test said yes, but I don't know.

[walleyedave]

Those tests are very accurate now a days. Congrats. Make a doctors appointment to confirm and start yourself on some maternity vitamins.
I am going to be a Dad again in a month, too and i can't wait.

[alicat61]

:) Hi Nicole,
If I was you I'd go to your Dr and get it confirmed. Then you will know for sure

[walleyedave]

I forgot to mention that when my wife took her home test it was positive, and only like 5 days after conception.:)

[mell1682]

I would say it doesn't hurt to double check with a blood test at a doctor's office...and I'm pretty sure those home pregnancy tests are accurate so CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I think that nagging feeling to take the test says your body is in tune with itself and the positive result confirmed your own thoughts. I've been through 2 diabetic pregnancies and it's hard work but oh so worth it!!

[lorilei]

I have never bought a pregnancy test that said i wasn't pregnant...that being said, i have bought three...and have three kids...Nicole, these tests are extremely accurate. in fact, my ob/gyn's office literally says" Did you take a pregnancy test".. answer" yes"...their response..."then you are pregnant." I would get an appt with the doc asap, but not really for confirmation...you BG will be going a little crazy with the hormonal changes. good luck with this big news!

[xMenace]

I say wait nine months and find out the natural way:eek:

[davef]

Nicole,

Go see your Doctor, but I'd say there is little doubt that you are pregnant. I remember when we found out that my wife was pregnant with our Daughter (12 in January). We had been married for 7 years and had pretty much accepted there would not be children. Then Orla called be from the bathroom, in tears, she had done 4 home pregnancy tests, she did 4 because she didn't believe the first one.

Congratulations!

[gettingby]

Nicole, I took 2 pregnancy tests when I was pregnant with my daughter back in '90. Both said positive, test at gynocologist confirmed it. You should definitely make an appt with your doctor ASAP. Diabetic pregnancies can be easy but alas, mine wasn't (long story). Please for your safety and for the baby, get an appt soon.

[Keezheekoni]

Pregnancy tests now are able to detect as little as 25 mIU/mL of hCG. This is an itty-bitty amount. The best test out there seems to be the Target branded one that is just the | | for a positive not the + | line for a positive. The + | ones actually can fade away making you think that you're not pregnant and you really are. I don't know much about the digital ones, except that there was a recall on them a few months ago.

In my experience (I take tests monthly because of not being on any BC), I get lots of negatives... Of course, I am pregnant now and got positives like crazy. :T I only took 6 tests over two weeks for this baby just to be sure since I habitually miscarry.

So, congrats! You're preggers. Make an OB appointment now, since they are going to want your bgs to be below 95 fasting and under 120 post-prandial. :mad:

[uhoh]

Looks like all of us agree! Make that appointment and start on that long happy road!

[Cormac_Doyle]

Those tests are typically more than 95% accurate ... but you may want to make an apporintment with your GP to confirm it.

Congrats!

[Psycho Penguin]

B eing a mom at such a young age seems scary and intimidating, but I know that boyfriend of yours will be there to support you. First steps are family support and staying in school and getting a good job.If my ex can do it, you can too!

[genie86333]

Like the others said, the home tests these days are really accurate - and those few that are wrong are usually false negatives (they say you're NOT pregnant when you really are.)

So, congrats, mommy (and daddy too!)

Make an appointment so that little one has all the best care right from the start.

[nicole]

Well I have taken a total of four tests, and each and every one of them say yes, so today I went and got a different brand and took it and what do you know it said "pregnant".

I'm really scared now about what my mom and dad are going to say and think. My boyfriend said he's going to be there for me no matter what.

My concern is bringing a baby into this world when neither my boyfriend nor I have a job right now.

I don't know wether to go ahead with it or just end it now. I hate to keep that as an option because it was our fault and we knew what could happen. But then again I don't want to bring an innocent baby into the world knowing good and well I can't care for it right now.

I think I'm at the most 1 1/2 months along now.
Not to mention i'm still really young..only 19, I'll be 20 in february and I don't know if thats too early or not.

Oh help me please. I want to make the right decision.

[alicat61]

:) Hi Nicole,
I'm sure your Mum and Dad will be supportive, They may be a little shocked at first and worried .Thats natural.
You are lucky your boyfriend is supportive also.
The decision to keep the baby or not is you and your boyfriends. Nobody can make it for you.
Things have a way of working out .
Just remember you are in shock at the moment you need time to think and talk to both your families.
My thoughts and prayers are with you

[lorilei]

nicole, i really feel for you. there may not seem to be a "right" answer that will please everyone. please make the "right answer" for you..we'll keep you in our thoughts.

[Keezheekoni]

I guess I can't really (or any of us really) can make this decision for you. I know that you're young and you're scared. Things like this happen everyday (several times a day...).

You have options. You can get jobs now, get healthcare, and get ready to be parents. You can terminate the pregnancy and be much more careful in the future. You could also continue the pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption.

I don't know your living situation, other than I think you've stated that you live with your parents still... My parents were not supportive of me when I was pregnant with my son (but I was 16). Eventually they "came around", but I did get married and had a job and health insurance.

Good luck in your decision. :) Hugs to you.

[Scrabblechick]

Thoughts and prayers as you make this decision.

[KCP]

Aww honey.. Hugs for you in this time.
Its not an easy place to be in im sure..

Like others, only you and your boyfriend can make a desicion that is right for you. ANd whatever you decide? Will be the right one..

[mell1682]

I'm so sorry your situation is so hard...I hope that whatever you choose, it's what your heart wants, no matter what. Sending many many hugs your way.

[nicole]

Thanks for all your advice.

I thought that I was 100% sure I wanted to end it. But then I asked my boyfriend if he was happy that I made that decision and he said well no I'm not happy, but its up to you and its for the best.

We both agreed that it would be a different story if We lived on our own or we both had jobs. He said it will be difficult to take on the responsibility right now with the way things are.

I agree. He said the final decision is mine.

I guess were going to have to talk more and see what decision we come to. I have to decide soon though, I'll keep you all posted on it though.

[nicole]

Okay everyone.. I watched a video on abortion and I have to say it made me tear up.

Someone posted a bulletin on myspace and that was the first bulletin to catch my eye, hmm.. maybe meant for me to read ??

But I watched it and yes I teared up.. I'm really really confused now :confused:

[mell1682]

I cannot imagine how many thoughts and fears you have right now...and I'm sorry you're facing some pretty tough stuff. I have so been there when I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant the 3rd time...I was in the same boat (we can barely afford the 2 we have now and I was terrified about another pregnancy after 21 years of diabetes), and thinking a lot about what I was going to do, and abortion was even mentioned and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it cuz I did, and now I think there was a higher power involved cuz I decided not to abort and ended up miscarrying. The decision to have a baby is a BIG life changing event, no matter how you slice it. Don't let anyone choose for you...it's all up to you and it's your body and I hope that whatever you choose, that you're okay with it. I wish I could say more and I wish I could hug you cuz it's so scary and confusing to be in the boat you're in.

[nicole]

I'm really scared right now.

I'm more scared to tell my parents and his parents.
I know his mom and sisters would be excited and all for it, but the question is how are my parents going to feel about it.

Especially because my boyfriend and I live with my parents. I can only imagine how hard it would be to care for a baby in my parents house. Awkward.. I think so.

Not to mention I have two younger sisters who i need to set a good example for and letting this happen isn't doing a very good job. Well we'll see where life takes me and what it has planned.

[mell1682]

If it helps any: My sister was 18 when she got pregnant and 19 when she had my first niece...and my parents were ANGRY from the moment they found out. It was quite funny to see my mom and dad, who swore they'd never have anything to do with this baby, in the hospital cheering my sister on. My dad was especially against it and he was the proudest most beaming person there, stopping perfect strangers and telling them about his granddaughter.

Also: I screwed up and had to move back in with my parents at 20 (humiliating moment of my life!) and when we got pregnant the first time, we were living with my parents. It wasn't my proudest moment by a long shot. We ended up barely moved out by the time our first came along. AND we've moved back in with his mom as parents of 2...now we are on our own. I swore I'd never live with our parents when I became a parent...I was wrong!

Everything happens for a reason and I'm only telling you these things above to let you know that feelings do change and people grow...and that you can do anything you want as long as your heart is in it. This is not the easiest choice in the world and what ever happens is gonna be scary, but you're a strong person and you have support, I don't know you really well but I'm here

[Psycho Penguin]

So you have unprotected sex and OMG you're pregnant and let's get an abortion.. the attitude of young people nowadays is truly amazing.

[Keezheekoni]

I had a similar situation to the previous poster about the parents...

I was 16 when I got pregnant... My dad didn't talk to me from the minute he found out (on Father's Day no less) until my ex called him letting him know I was in the hospital in labor. My dad didn't even call my mom at work, he rushed to the hospital on his own, and held my hand during my entire labor. When my son was born he was the proudest grandpa in that place... :) He and my son have an incredible bond now, he's kinda the son my dad never had (yes, I have a brother but he's not into sports or anything else my dad likes, whereas my son is exactly like my dad).

So, don't be so scared about your parents' reaction... if you're going to keep the baby, they'll come around eventually. Though, it might help if you and your bf both go get jobs (anything, even the "menial" McD's is better than no job), and prove that you're willing to do anything to take care of your baby.

[Patient254]

Congratulations on your pregnancy! What a gift!

[walleyedave]

I have 2 kids and the third on the way. My wife and i would never even consider this. My oldest is 12 years old, my wife was 18 when she got pregnant. There have been rough spots in our lives and many bumps along the way, but one thing is for sure and that is that i can not imagine not having him hear with us. I think a life is a life. If you decide to abort this pregnancy, you will regret it the rest of your life. You will always wonder how he or she would have turned out. It will play on your mind for the rest of your life. Being a parent to a child is the single most rewarding thing you will ever do in your entire life. But ultimatly the decision is yours. Keeping the baby will be something you will not regret.:o

[nicole]

Again thanks to the ones who truly understand what I'm going through.

This is not easy. I don't want to go hrough with it especially if there is a chance there could be something wrong with it seeing that I didn't have great control over my diabetes when it happened.

In the mean time I'll keep you all posted on my final desicion.

[mell1682]

This is not easy. I don't want to go hrough with it especially if there is a chance there could be something wrong with it seeing that I didn't have great control over my diabetes when it happened.

In the mean time I'll keep you all posted on my final desicion.

One last thing, and I hope I don't come across as pushy cuz I'm soooo not like that (ask my kids lol), but I have to say one thing about "ideal" control and pregnancy. I was NOT even close to being in control with either baby...I had an A1C of 11% when they both were conceived and it was so scary to think that there might be something wrong with them and it would've been MY fault. It was so stupid of me to get pregnant with such wacky control but at that time I never thought diabetics could even GET pregnant (yeah I still can't explain THAT train of thought!). After 2 very closely monitored pregnancies, my girls came out healthy and strong. I am so amazed with them cuz I honestly don't know how they came out of my unhealthy (at the time) body with nothing wrong. Don't let anyone here or anywhere make you feel bad for ANY choice you make because they, nor I, are in your shoes and it's your life and there is a lot to think about and unfortunately you probably don't have much time to ponder. Sending some hugs and hoping you make the best decision for you.

[Keezheekoni]

Don't let anyone here or anywhere make you feel bad for ANY choice you make because they, nor I, are in your shoes and it's your life and there is a lot to think about and unfortunately you probably don't have much time to ponder. Sending some hugs and hoping you make the best decision for you.

Ditto On another forum I'm on, we have the same smiley, only his says, "Yeah that!"

So that too. :)

[nicole]

Mell1682 & Keezheekoni,

Thank you so much!!

I'm sooo glad that you two understand me the most. It means alot. Nope you don't sound pushy at all, lol.

Yeah my A1C is around there. And you said your kids came out fine?

That makes me feel 100x's better knowing that there is still a chance that it will be ok if we do decide to go through with it.

We talked again tonight and we have agreed to talk to a few people before we make our final decision. So I'll keep you all posted.

[UpNorth]

Congratulations to being pregnant!

I'd say, talk with your parents, and his parents about this. If the people around you don't know, they can't help and support you either. They might get mad at first, but that will very likely change into being the proudest and most caring grandparents on the planet. 19 really isn't that young, i know someone who had a son just weeks after finishing junior high school. She was just about old enough to legally jump in between the sheets when she got pregnant. And today? She's doing really well.

Even if you and your boyfriend don't have jobs now, surely there must be someone around who can help you in the very beginning until at least one of you have a job. Living with parents... Awkward maybe, but just imagine the posibilities! That child will have his or her grandparents very close, and you'll always have someone to ask about baby care, and a babysitter around.

From what i can see in the first post. Both you and your boyfriend seems really happy about this pregnancy too, so if i were you, i'd go through the pregnancy. 9 months is a long time so there's still lots of time to find jobs and everything. And i'm sure you can get help from your families too. Who knows, if you abort this time, maybe when you are ready to have children, and want it, then it might be more difficult to get pregnant. My parents tried for years before they got me and yup, i have old parents:( I mean, how fun is it to be 23 and have both parents being well over 50? From my experience i can say it's no fun at all! I don't know how long i'll have them around, or if my children in the future will have their grandparents around for long. Thinking about that saddens me everyday, and sometimes makes me cry too.

Think carefully before you decide what to do. But from seeing how friends have taken it, an abortion is really really difficult! I'd NEVER want to go through an abortion unless i got pregnant from being raped or something like that.

If your A1c isn't brilliant now, but okish, it shouldn't be a big problem to carry the child, if you A1c was a disaster you'd probably not have managed to become pregnant in the first place. Just make sure you get a team who knows how to deal with diabetic pregnancies if you decide to become a mum.

[lorilei]

Nicole, it is your choice...you don't live with any of us or owe us any explainations, and we certainly shouldn't try to sway you one way or the other based on our own personal beliefs. Wishing you good luck and peace.

[Jan B]

Nicole,

I really like that you are not making a snap decision. You are trying to get your head around it all. I know you don't have a lot of time, but you have enough time to make this decision that will be part of your life forever.

My belief is that all the stories about other people's experiences (good and bad) are helping get you a little better feel of things, BUT, this is between You, your boyfriend, and dare I say . . . God. The "three" of you can decide. Your parents, if you include them, may be helpful too. I hope so anyway.

I pray for the best for all involved.

Also, if you were my daughter (which I would love to have had), I would hug and hold you and let you tell me all you were feeliing.

[Jan B]

Nicole,

You, your boyfriend, and dare I say . . . God. The "three" of you can decide. Your parents, if you include them, may be helpful too. I hope so anyway.



After thinking longer, I really need to clarify God. From my perspective, and what I meant, was go higher than yourself, a place where you go for comfort, love, strength, and ultimately answers (for me, and my beliefs, that's God, my Father who loves me more than my own parents loved me.)

Relax. Better decisions are made when not in haste! You are loved; love yourself; then lastly, whatever your decision, don't look back, let your decision stand and don't take guilt with you into your future. That would just be an opinion from someone who wishes the best for you.

[geegies]

Hi! I second the things that UpNorth has said- she has brought up a lot of good points! It was unexpected news, and whatever you choose, it will have an impact on both you and your boyfriend for the rest of your life. It is a hard decision to make, and it is better to take time to seriously consider the outcome. My advice would be to please not make this decision too quickly- take awhile to think about it.

It's very encouraging to hear that so many people have had successful pregnancies with all ranges of diabetic control (I've been doing a little research on other threads in this forum, too!), and it truly seems that you have a good chance to have a healthy baby.

It seems like you have many resources available to you- with grandparents nearby and quite a bit of time to try for a job. I wholeheartedly wish you all the best in this process and will be praying that everything works out for what is best for you!

[nicole]

Yeah I'm definitely trying to take my time and make the right decision.

But I have to make that decision soon though. You know before its too late.

[hodgsonsurvivor]

Nicole...I had my babies at 16 and 19. My diabetes was not under control. Both babies are strong and healthy young ladies now. I'm glad I kept them, I wouldn't want to put my body through a pregnancy now and I definitely wanted children. I've since earned 3 degrees and gotten a great job. You can do whatever you put your mind to. These blessings aren't granted all the time and there is purpose for this child's life, whether you raise it or not. Find peace...

[nicole]

Nicole...I had my babies at 16 and 19. My diabetes was not under control. Both babies are strong and healthy young ladies now. I'm glad I kept them, I wouldn't want to put my body through a pregnancy now and I definitely wanted children. I've since earned 3 degrees and gotten a great job. You can do whatever you put your mind to. These blessings aren't granted all the time and there is purpose for this child's life, whether you raise it or not. Find peace...


Thank You :)

When I read that something hit me and made me feel so much better.

[lugnut48]

We just had ours last week Sunday - it is an amazing gift to have a child. I'm not sure why anyone would want to be selfish because it's inconvenient for them to have a child so they instead destroy that gift.

There's always the selfless decision of putting him / her up for adoption - that way everyone wins! You get out of having to grow up and be responsible and the child lives! Win-win situation in my opinion.

Good luck!

[soso]

HI Nicole

I for one, think you are being VERY responsible in this situation.

I won't comment on anybody elses's posts...it is your body, your life, your decision (and your loved one's to help if you so choose)

Every or any course of action open to you now will have it's difficulties and I know that you know that.
Please accept a pat on the back from me for being adult enough to take the time to think rather than rushing in to a decision.

xx

[Jan B]

We just had ours last week Sunday - it is an amazing gift to have a child. I'm not sure why anyone would want to be selfish because it's inconvenient for them to have a child so they instead destroy that gift.

There's always the selfless decision of putting him / her up for adoption - that way everyone wins! You get out of having to grow up and be responsible and the child lives! Win-win situation in my opinion.

Good luck!

Your input may not receive much weight (even though it's really very "heavy"), because it is the harder road to travel. Very few young people seem to take the high road (ducking for cover). I didn't.

My one and only little brother is adopted -- we brought him home when he was 7 weeks old. I'll thank his birth mother for the rest of my life.

[genie86333]

Nicole,

A video about abortion made you tear up. Think about it - that was a video about someone else's baby, someone you don'teven know. Now imagine remembering that video & the way it made you feel on a regular basis for the rest of your life. That wouldn't be a very good thing, and just imagine how much worse it would be if it was your own baby.

I wasn't much older than you were when I got pregnant with my son, and I wasn't in much better circumstances, but I can't even imagine not having had him. He was adopted & he's now a healthy 16-year-old. I don't get to see him (although I do get an occasional brief update) but at least I know he's out there & he's ok.

Ultimately, it's your choice, but think of how it's going to affect you in the long run - it may be harder than actually raising the baby!

[aeromarv]

So you have unprotected sex and OMG you're pregnant and let's get an abortion.. the attitude of young people nowadays is truly amazing.

I'm glad someone said it.

There doesn't seem to be any responsibility these days to face up to the repercussions of your actions. Whether its getting pregnant because you had unprotected sex, losing millions of dollars for your business and destroying the retirement of thousands, or commiting a crime.

The statement about knowing you could get pregnant and having sex anyway proves it. Now that you're pregnant, you want out cause you're not ready. You should have thought about that before hand.

I'm sorry, but take some responsibility.

[owlyn]

I'm glad someone said it.

There doesn't seem to be any responsibility these days to face up to the repercussions of your actions. Whether its getting pregnant because you had unprotected sex, losing millions of dollars for your business and destroying the retirement of thousands, or commiting a crime.

The statement about knowing you could get pregnant and having sex anyway proves it. Now that you're pregnant, you want out cause you're not ready. You should have thought about that before hand.

I'm sorry, but take some responsibility.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

[RedRD]

There are no false-positives, just false negatives. Make an appt - they might do an ultrasound on your first visit since you're considered high risk.

Make sure you check your sugar frequently - make an appt w/your endocrinologist, too. My sugars were great (A1c less than 5) with both of my pregnancies, and my babies both weighed 8#, 9oz (big, not too big).

congratulations - and take care of yourself!!

[David_S]

When my wife got pregnant the first time.. we were just starting out and it was a whoops moment.. well we had twins. We were not prepared for one.. we were in a one bedroom apartment. Everything did change.. no it wasn't easy.. in fact with twins we were really challenged to meet their needs.. financially and even emotionally.. it was something else having two at a time. But it was a double blessing.. and it makes you stronger. We had decided that they would be it for us.. and then we thought.. well one more. We have a another son and he is just as amazing.. and he was planned but the same parenting challenges came with him.. as well as expenses and everything changed again.. the twins had a brother.. and we were now 5 in the house.
I don't know how old this is.. if you have made a decision.. but I am hoping for the best for you.
My wife had a miscarriage after the twins.. when we tried for our son. She still wonders about that child.. because he had been there.. in her. It wasn't the same for me.. I could only watch her deal and offer support.. but it is the woman who carries it all and is affected the most. Take care.

[princesslinda]

This thread is being closed at the poster's request.